Author's Note: Okay, this is the first "Guy Perspective not from Me" story thing, so don't expect much. And, I just did this, cause' this part was introduced to me by a friend of mine, after she found out that I was on Team Jacob. She showed me this to aggravate me, and when I get temperamental, things get messed up. And she loves seing me get so messed up.
At first, yeah she was right. It did made me kill her and throw some punches everytime I see the words his lips found mine with an eagerness that was not far from violence. That disturbed me a lot. But then, after reading it again, and again, and again, I found this part very, VERY, inspiring. It showed me great emotion, and passion. Every emotion that Jacob had in this part, rocked my whole brain out. I felt his anger, his desperation, everything. And after that, I told myself that "I could use this emotion to re-write my favorite part in Eclipse, which is my favorite book of all time."
But the bad thing about this thing is that, it's not the cfomplete Chapter 23 of Eclipse. It's just Page 520 - 533. From the part where Jacob said his first words to Bella. I would also like to do a Jacob's Perspective for Chapter 15, you know. The part where Jacob force-kisses Bella. I LOVED THAT PART. Especially the Face-to-Fist part. HAHA! That knocked me off my chair, and even gave me a bruise. [Ah. It didn't hurt, and I got it in a good way.]
So, whenever somebody requests for me to make the full Chapter 23 - MONSTER of Eclipse, then I would. But, for now, I'm making the Jacob Perspective of Chapter 15 - WAGER, and only selected regions. SORRY!
(c) Stephenie Meyer
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS JUST A FORM OF FUN! I AM NOT CLAIMING THIS AS MINE. STEPHENIE MEYER DID THE WHOLE SERIES AND I JUST MADE A JACOB PERSPECTIVE OF THE REAL IDEA. THE REAL BOOK COULD BE BOUGHT IN ANY BOOKSTORE [Especially this season, since The Twilight Saga: Eclipse will be in theatres on June 30.]
"I'm in a hurry, Bella." I said in quite a dull voice. "Why don't you get it over with?"
There was a quite a long silence. She gulped and tried to make a sound, unsuccessfully, nothing came out when she opened her mouth.
"Just say the words, and be done with it."
She took a deep breathe, closed her eyes and spoke.
"I'm sorry I'm such a rotten person," She whispered, her throat almost dry. "I'm sorry I've been so selfish. I wish I'd never met you, so that I couldn't hurt you the way that I have. I won't do it anymore, I promise. I'll stay far away from you. I'll move out of the state. You won't have to look at me ever again." How pathetic.
"That's not much of an apology," I said to her with a bitter tone in my voice. At this moment, I felt nothing but pure aggravation. Frustration. How could she want to end her life like this?
"Tell me how to do it right." She whispered as a small tear fell down from her right eye. She does know that she could only have one of us. If she had him, she would have to get rid of me first. And if she had me, her little bloodsucker shouldn't be in my way. It's been like this since the old times, and she's making a far too big deal out of it. It's a simple decision which causes for a simple answer.
"What if you don't go away? What if I'd rather you stayed, selfish or not? Don't I get any say, if you're trying to make things up to me?" There was a hint of sarcasm in my voice then. I couldn't even bare to look at her anymore. My emotion right now is unexplainable. I hated the way I couldn't even stand her right now, despite the fact that I'm completely in love with her.
"That won't help anything, Jake. It was wrong to stay with you when we wanted such different things. It's not going to get better. I'll just keep hurting you. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I hate it." Her voice broke and more tears flooded down her face. It was quite pitiful to be torn apart like this. I couldn't even stand thinking about whatever could happen.
"Stop. You don't have to say anything. I understand." I sighed. There was another period of long silence. No sound. She was crying as I had my hands in my pockets. Then, my head snapped up. I stared at the sky, the clouds covering the sun, as to an Eclipse. Then stared face to face with her.
"Well you're not the only one capable of self-sacrifice. Two could play that game." I told her and my eyes got narrower, and narrower. I was just making this up as I go. Whatever to make her think that she had an option of me, and that I would be as equally a decision as her loving leech.
"What?"
"I've behaved pretty badly myself. I've made this much harder for you than I needed to. I could have given up with good grace in the beginning. But I hurt you, too."
"This is my fault."
"I won't let you claim all the blame here, Bella. Or all the glory either. I know how to redeem myself." She looked at me confusingly and demanded with such great emotion.
"What are you talking about?" She asked, but then her expression changed. As if she saw something. Something that made me think that I've reached the point of this little game. I looked up once again, and faced her, to smile back.
"There's a pretty serious fight brewing down there. I don't think it will be that difficult to take myself out of the picture." That's when she looked at me. She froze. Fear struck her eyes and she looked like she could hardly breathe. She looked worried. Beyond worried. Petrified on what she thought was going to happen. I knew that this is how she would react to the words.
"Oh, no, Jake! No, no no," She choked out and she began to tremble. The small tears that streamed down her face earlier became large streams. I didn't know that this would take effect on her that deep.
"What's the difference, Bella? This will only make it more convenient for everyone. You won't even have to move." I explained to her. She cut me off, pretty stubbornly. Now that's Bella.
"No!" She demanded. "No, Jacob! I won't let you!" She screamed from across the clearing. Yeah, like she could ever stop me.
"How will you stop me?" I taunted her lightly, smiling and rising my eyebrows. Sarcasm is the best weapon.
"Jacob, I'm begging you. Stay with me." She continued to tremble and cry. I knew that she wanted to run towards me, but how I looked like, made her discontinue. The look of her trying to move her legs, instead they trembled with the fear of me disappearing right in front of her eyes just like how the blood sucker left her before.
"For fifteen minutes while I miss a good brawl? So that you can run way from me as soon as you think I'm safe again? You've got to be kidding." I protested.
"I won't run away. I've changed my mind. We'll work something out, Jacob. There's always a compromise. Don't go!"
"You're lying." I narrowed my eyes. And her expression became much, much worse whenever my eyes got narrower and narrower.
"I'm not. You know what a terrible liar I am. Look in my eyes. I'll stay if you do." She wasn't thinking right. She only wanted me to be there for her. She doesn't know how much this hurts me more than it hurts her. Seeing her like this, instead of being the one to comfort her. But, I just can't stand thinking of all we've been through with this clouding my mind.
"And I can be your best man at the wedding?" I asked harshly. She became speechless and I knew that I have blocked her. She didn't have anything else to say after that. Everything was dead silent.
"Please." Was all she could force to say. I thought that things were going to reach their climax.
"That's what I thought." I said as I became suddenly calm. "I love you, Bella." I added in a soft murmur. And this time, I meant it. It blocked all my aggravation, and all the things we were fighting about. For a moment.
"I love you, Jacob." She whispered.
"I know that better than you do." I smiled as I turned my back at her and walked away slowly.
"Anything." She called after me. "Anything you want, Jacob. Just don't do this!" I stopped, and without looking at her, I turned slowly. "I don't really think that you mean that." She didn't. I know her better than that. She
"Stay." She begged, but I just shook my head. And continued.
"No, I'm going." There's many stuff that I can't stand about her right now. The fact that I love her so much, that It made me hate her about it, for making me feel this way. The chance that she might choose him over me. The chance that I could never accept.
"But I could leave it to fate." I added. She looked quite confused again and choked out words.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't have to do anything deliberate - I could just do my best for my pack and let what happens happen." I shrugged and continue to taunt her with words I know that she couldn't resist coming out from my mouth. I knew how she reacts.
"If you could convince me you really did want me to come back - more than you wanted to do the selfless thing." I added, and she asked me again.
"How?"
I enjoyed this part. Making her say something that I'm pretty sure that she'd regret. I smiled. "You could ask me,"
"Come back," She whispered, but I just shook my head, smiling.
"That's not what I'm talking about."
She hadn't gotten the message for the first few seconds, but she suddenly realized afterwards. She took a deep breathe, getting ready to reply. She should've thought her way through this. One single mistake and she might regret it.
"Will you kiss me, Jacob?"
My eyes widened, shocked. That wasn't what I was expecting. I mean, not that much.
"Kiss me Jacob. Kiss me, and then come back."
What will happen? I know nothing of the future. Should I? Could I? Of course, either way, it'll make that little blood sucker as irritated as hell. Hey? What could happen? Was this the right thing to do? What would be the effect of this? This would totally buy me a chance to be a real option for her. Maybe this would change her mind?
I was kind of unsure, whether I should do this or not. I was in real pain, and whatever I decide, this might mark me for the rest of my life, as long as Bella existed and remained in my world. I took a few steps forward, with doubt in my eyes. What was I supposed to do now?
I stared back at her. Her face was expressionless, observing me. She didn't know how I was feeling now, and that got her curious. I closed the gap between us with three long strides, and since she didn't move , I decided to take my advantage in this situation. I put my hands on either side of her head. I stared at her eyes, which was closed tightly, gave me a chance to tell, or mainly show her how I feel. My lips eagerly found hers, which gave away my violent expression.
My anger, everything I felt about her, passionately transferred to her as I discovered her resistance. That's when I finally redeemed myself. Pick me instead of him. I was screaming to her through my actions. I put my left hand on the nape of her neck, and twisted her hair, as my other hand held her shoulder, as I shook her to get any kind of response. She was expressionless. Motionless. Nothing came out of her. No words.
Still nothing. She was stubborn, and it gave me more emotion as my lips touched hers, though hers weren't moving. I continued my hand from her shoulder to her writs, and I put it on my shoulder. I tried to force out a response from her, but she was numb. She tried not to feel anything, when I surely know how she feels about me.
Her hand laying on top of my shoulder was clenched into small fists, as my other hand reach the small of her back, as I pulled her closer, and closer to me.
Then, I finally gave up on her for a moment. She wasn't responding and I knew that she wouldn't ever till' I talk some sense into her. That's when I began threatening.
I removed my other hand from her hair, and reached for her other hand to put it on my shoulder, as my mouth drew the line of her jaw. That's when we were chest to chest. My arms were around her waist and her arms were around my shoulders. My lips found her ear, and then I began threatening.
"You can do better than this Bella. You're over thinking it." I whispered to her knowingly as she began to shiver at the touch of my warm breath to her slightly cold skin, which always seemed kinda uncomfortable on my skin, but it felt so comfortable on hers.
"That's right. For once, just let yourself feel what you feel." I whispered to her earlobe and she shook her head mechanically, no word came out of her. When I suddenly stopped her from shaking her head in a clear no, I looked at her, eye to eye, narrowed mine and continued talking.
"Are you sure you want me to come back? Or did you really want me to die?" My voice's tune changed and as I looked at her, it looked like a wave of anger and violent emotions finally came to her senses, a response finally came out of her.
She grabbed two fistfuls of my hair, and I brought my lips back to hers, with my arms clutching on her waist. I wasn't just the one showing with anger-filled passion, she finally responded.
I showed her every single amount of anger in me, as she did too. I know that she couldn't resist what was about to happen, since I know her too well. Her emotions, her actions and everything. Then suddenly, besides the jolting passion from her, she was beginning to kiss back.
Her lips moved with mine, in strange ways that I knew she wouldn't do, with me at least. It was different. I've seen her with him, but the movements of her lips with me were different. They were bold. They were entirely different from the ways she kissed him. Her movements right now, they weren't being careful. At least I wouldn't have to fight the urge to kill her. I didn't need to be careful with her. And she didn't have to over do it with me. I was almost human to her, while he was completely inhuman. I am completely better for her, than he is.
Her fingers tightened in my hair, and she pulled me closer, as I tightened my grip on her waist. She was everywhere. Sunlight burned our skin. (Like I could really feel the heat, while I was going at a boiling 108 degrees Fahrenheit.)
I am astounded by the fact that she wasn't pulling away, but pulling me closer and closer to her. I thought that she knew that she didn't feel anything for me.
"I Love You Jacob. But I'm not in love with you."
The words rang in my head as if it were being repeated over and over again. I was completely in love with her. And I want her to pick me instead of him. I may have said this a million times, but she doesn't seem to listen.
I could see my future with her. Living a normal life. Remaining human with Charlie, being with me. The waves crashing on the rocks of La Push, me chasing her. And her chasing two little black haired, russet skinned kids. The sound of their laughter echoing. What kind of dream would that be, when I'm not even sure if she would choose me?
I pulled back the kiss, and looked at her with quite amazement. She opened her eyes, and stared at me, eyes wide opened. I managed to fight back a smile at her.
"I have to leave." I whispered.
"No." She replied. Worried. As it creased her forehead.
I was amused by the her response. She was desperate to keep me alive. And that's how I meant to her. But she meant like the whole world to me. Although she doesn't know it yet. But I think I've convinced her.
"I won't be long. But, one thing first…" I paused, and bent down to give her a soft, and gentle kiss on the lips. I placed my hands on either side of her head, and gave her a sweet and quick peck and then I wrapped my arms around her, to hug her, as I dragged my face to her ear and whispered,
"That should've been our first kiss."
