There's nothing better than miles and miles of American countryside to allow the mind to wander. Rory was sitting in the seat she had chosen the first day she arrived Iowa; right in the middle of the bus. She could sleep or quietly read a book, but she didn't feel cut off from conversations at the back of the bus. Her mother was right, people who choose to sit at the bus are much more social. But on this particularly quiet day, she needed to put pen to paper. Over the past few months her mind had been spinning with thoughts. But nothing ever felt real until she put things into words. When Rory had unresolved issues with people, she found the best thing to do was write a letter. When her mom had been upset with her through the years, she'd write a letter and sneak it on to Lorelai's pillow before she woke up. And Lorelai would always come in to Rory's bed in the morning and give her a hug and told her she wasn't mad anymore. Rory felt like sometimes she could say more in written words, than she could say out loud. She did this time and time again, for Lane when they were kids, for Paris when they had roommate squabbles, and with Lucy when the whole Marty debacle went down. Words on paper gave her more courage, because she could take her time, move things around, and read things over and over to make sure she was giving the right tone. Sometimes she didn't even give the letters to the people. She just felt better after writing it down. So today she decided that she would write a letter to Logan.

Logan,

I miss you. It's so weird going from talking to you everyday to not at all.

But I'm also angry and confused. We were in a great place, we were happy, why did you have to go and change it? A few months ago when I got the Providence Journal offer, you told me to go for what I really wanted, to try not to think about where you'd be. You said you'd factor me in, that if I decided to be in Providence, that maybe you'd come with me. When you said that I thought; this is someone who really loves me, who understands that my dreams are important to me. I thought that meant that we'd be ok no matter what, no matter where each of us were. But then you figured out your life. A life in California. And I am so proud of you Logan, you have no idea. But why did you think that I would pick up everything and go with you? So I hadn't been so lucky. I hadn't quite figured out my next step yet. But you know what? I'm 22, I think that's acceptable. But you thought I would just pick up everything and follow your dream? What if I had got that fellowship at the New York Times? Would you still have asked me to follow you?

I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about marrying you before. But I thought you understood that there are things I want to do, things I want to experience before settling down. For the first time in my life, I don't know exactly where I'm going, and I think that's a good thing. Over 2 years ago, I sat there at your parents house listening to your mother and grandfather tell me I wasn't good enough to marry you because I was an smart, independent, career woman, with her own dreams and aspirations. That I wouldn't be the trophy wife your family wanted for you. And you know what? They were right. I'm never going to be happy just being somebodies wife. I wasn't raised that way. I thought you didn't want that. I thought you loved that I was so passionate about school and my career. I thought we were equal partners, Logan. When you asked me to follow you I just thought I would be giving up something.

When you went to London, I was heartbroken when you left. And it was hard being away from you. But I did it because I supported you. I knew that you needed to do it for your career. We got through it. And I thought that meant something. Why couldn't you do that for me?

I love you. But I'm not ready to be a wife.

I know that there are great papers in California, and that you weren't asking me to give up on my career. But I think I realized that it would be our life, not my life and I don't think I'm ready for an "our life". That is really hard to see on paper, but it's true.

My mom says that I'll "just know". Maybe the fact that I couldn't follow you, means you aren't the one. Or maybe we are just in two different places, and the timing is not right.

I can't help but wonder if you hadn't proposed where we'd be right now.

I got a job with an online magazine as a reporter on Barack Obama's campaign trail. We just crossed the border into Nebraska. I hate this bus. But Logan, the people I've met...the things I've got to see. It's amazing. It's not the most glamourous gig, but I'm hoping it'll lead to other things. I've made some really great connections. And hey, if Obama wins in 2008, I'll get to say that I was on the campaign.

I hope your business is going great. I wish you all the best. Maybe we'll meet again someday. Who knows.

Ace