"Hey baby," He kissed the temple of her forehead. She closed her eyes as he did it; not because she enjoyed it but because she knew the truth behind being called "baby". He looked down at her with that goofy smile and she felt numb.
"I was wondering if we could move date night to tomorrow?" He asked hesitantly and hopefully. She blinked at him and felt her forehead crease then smooth out.
"Yeah, okay." She doesn't know why she said that but as that goofy smile got even bigger she knew it wasn't because of whatever excuse he was about to give her.
"Thanks babe, Mom's got this thing that she wants me to go to." He rambled on but she tuned him out. She looked around the halls and wondered who it would be tonight. Would it be his favorite Quinn or maybe he needed a wild night and it would be Satanna. Maybe one of those other harlots that constantly threw themselves at him.
She sighed as he hugged her and ambled off to whatever class he had; as she stood looking at his lying back, she knew she didn't want to sit in a room of people who knew she wasn't enough for the football player. She could feel the tears in her eyes as she walked away from Theater with Mrs. Fosnaught.
She pushed open the heavy steel door and started gasping in the fresh air but it didn't stop her from sobbing like she had hoped it would. She walked down the steps gripping the railing so she wouldn't fall because of her blurry vision. She made it her car, unlocking it and slamming her stuff into the backseat before getting into the drivers seat. She turned the car on hoping for a song that would lift her mood but no Need You Now was blasting out of her speakers. She laughed and if felt like she was never going to stop.
Noah. She took in a deep breath and released it. The boy who use to bully her had been avoiding her for weeks and now she knew why. She wiped the tears from her eyes and backed out of the parking spot leaving the school at least for the day.
~I'm Not The Only One~
They were in Glee and Quinn was giving her that look. God, she hated that look but it was okay because she just grinned right back. Finn was currently talking to Mike and Puck was in the corner playing a hand game with Brittany; Blaine and Kurt were cuddled up talking about something with Mercedes; Tina and Artie were talking about a movie she had never even heard of and Santana looked pissed for whatever reason; Jake and Marley were in the back with Sam laughing.
She shook her head these people were supposed to be her friends and she knew they pitied her. She sighed and faced the front as Mr. Schue walked in "Alright does anyone have anything prepared before we start?" She could feel all eyes on her but she just smiled at the man in front of her ignoring the whispering coming from Kurt. "Something's wrong with her."
"Alright then let's get right into expressing yourself through music. This week pick a song that makes you feel or tells us how you currently feel. It can be angsty or loving or even angry just watch the words, Puck."
"What? That happened one time and that's because I forgot to do the clean version." Puck said with a shrug.
Mr. Schue rolled his eyes, "You'll draw numbers to see when you get to perform." Everyone picked their numbers and Rachel got last which meant she would be performing on Friday
-Friday-
She had sat through love songs, angsty teen music, and even a few musical numbers; they were all the same: Cheerful. Well she was about to burst that bubble. She stood in the center of the room. There would be not accompaniment from the band or Brad just when of the band guys sitting behind her with a guitar. She took a breathe,
You and me, we made a vow
For better or for worse
I can't believe you let me down
But the proof's in the way it hurts
She closed her eyes because she could sense the change in the atmosphere.
or months on end I've had my doubts
Denying every tear
I wish this would be over now
But I know that I still need you here
You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one
You've been so unavailable
Now sadly I know why
Your heart is unobtainable
Even though Lord knows you kept mine
She felt the tears building but pushed them back.
You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one
I have loved you for many years
Maybe I am just not enough
You've made me realize my deepest fear
By lying and tearing us up
You say I'm crazy
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done
But when you call me baby
I know I'm not the only one
I know I'm not the only one
I know I'm not the only one
And I know...
I know I'm not the only one
She opened her eyes and could see the discomfort on everyone's face. "Thanks for being my friends guys." She grabbed her bag and walked out of the classroom. She didn't want to hear excuses and accusations. She didn't knew where she was going with this but it wasn't back to that room or to Finn not right now. She needed a little bit of time to sort out her thoughts and feelings.
Two weeks later
She's sitting in the lunchroom eating her sandwich and watching her classmates that was until she heard a chair move beside her. She turned her head and saw Puck turning a chair around so he could straddle it. "I understand needing a break, okay I really do but giving your dreams up over a guy. Rachel that's just stupid."
She chewed her food and watched him, the look on his face was that of concern and determination. She shook her head. "You're not coming back? Why? Because a guy broke your heart Rachel? I thought you were more mature than that and smarter. So Finn is an asshole, you knew that going into that relationship." She raised an eyebrow as the boy continued. "Rae I know you love this singing shit, don't give it up, please."
She put her sandwich down, "I haven't but I did give up the New Directions. Noah you wouldn't even speak to me for two months because you knew what he was doing. Santana and Quinn slept with him. Everyone else knew but said nothing. I fell in love with him and you guys let me. I feel stupid and worthless. Do you think I want to go back to that classroom so you all can pity me? No thank you. I've had enough of that for a lifetime." She looked at him and could tell he was getting angry. "I thought you were different Noah and I thought you were my friend but I guess not."
She saw the pain shoot across his face but she just shook her head. She didn't blame any of them for what Finn did but she couldn't let them get close again not when she was still weak.
~I'm Not The Only One~
She sighed and ground her teeth as she walked into the Choir room. She felt eyes on her but refused to look at any of them as Mr. Schue guided her to a seat in the front. He smiled at her as he moved to the front of the room and began the lesson. She didn't listen to him and it felt like the hour session was lasting for an eternity. She sat quietly and didn't offer anything; God what she did for extra credit.
She was one of the last to leave the room; she had made it out the door when she felt a hand on her wrist stopping her, "You were right." It was Noah and he looked like a kicked puppy. "I should have said something but I didn't think you'd believe me." He let her wrist drop and stuck both his hands in his jean pants not looking at her.
She felt her heart, "Oh Noah. I never blamed you for any of that I just said that because I didn't want to get hurt again. It was all Finn and me."
Puck head shot up, "You?"
"Yes me. I didn't want to believe or read the signs. I had wanted to be his girlfriend so bad and I didn't want to let that go. So yeah me getting hurt was my fault. Noah, Finn's your best friend I know where your loyalties lie. It's okay." She place her hand on his arm and gave him a reassuring squeeze.
She turned to walk away, "Rachel." She turned back toward him only to find him two inches from her face. "My loyalty don't lie with Finn. It's alway been with you. I just didn't know how to say it without my true intentions come out."
She frown, "And what are your intentions?"
"This." He gripped her arms and pulled her into him kissing with her passion and she felt a fire start in her belly something she never felt with Finn. Puck move his hands one went to her lower back and the other in her hands. "They're prue Rachel. I just need you to give me a chance."