I'm sitting here all by myself just trying to think of something to do
trying to think of something anything just to keep me from thinking of you
but you know its not working out cause you're all that's on my mind
one thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind…
September 1, 2010
7:46 a.m.
It was her last "first day" ever. When she had imagined the first day of her senior year, she'd imagined that it would be a great one. She would walk into school (looking awesome) with her two best friends, a certain donut-headed one would most likely (preferably) be drooling over her and everything would work out hunky-dory.
Dreams don't always become a reality.
She walked into school, her backpack slung over her shoulder, her eyes glued to her scuffed sneakers as she trudged along.
"Lil!" Miley called, smiling and waving her over.
Lilly looked up and attempted a smile as she walked over to her friend. "Hey!" she said half-heartedly. "I've missed you!" Yeah, right.
Miley grinned and began to chat incessantly about her summer. Like I care, the only thing I care about is…
"Hey, baby."
Speak of the devil…
Oliver came up behind Miley and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. Miley let out a squeal and a giggle and slapped his chest playfully. "Ol-lie," she pouted. "You know I hate PDA. He is so bad." She winked at Lilly.
Lilly felt tears brimming her eyes. "Totally," she forced out a giggle in agreement. She noticed Oliver trying to make eye contact, but she refused. "I'd better go, don't want to be late for homeroom!" More like I don't want you to see me cry.
and I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
and I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
and I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
and you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did
May 30, 2010
10:32 a.m.
"You guys, I don't know what I'm going to do without my two best friends for an entire summer!" Miley sighed, walking out the door next to Lilly, behind Oliver and Jackson who were carrying her suitcases. "I'm just going to miss you guys so much!"
Lilly smiled and patted her friend's arm. "We're going to miss you, too, Miles." She sighed and looked at Oliver, putting on her best 'I'm-totally-okay-with-the-fact-that-my-two-best-friends-are-dating-even-though-I-am-possibly-in-love-with-one-of-them' face. "Of course, I guess Oliver might miss you just a tad bit more."
Oliver put Miley's giant suitcase down as the reached the bottom of the driveway and turned around, that trademark grin on his face. He opened his arms wide. "I'm going to miss you so much, Miley," he murmured into her hair when she nestled into him.
Miley and Oliver's lips met once… twice… again. Lilly averted her eyes. Do they have no respect?
"Miley, Christ, we have to go!" Jackson yelled from the front seat of the car, his hand pressed on the horn. "Detach yourself!"
Miley turned crimson and kissed Oliver once more before reluctantly sliding into the front seat of the car. "Oh," she said as the car began to drive away, "I almost forgot. Bye, Lilly!"
Lilly sighed as the car drove out of sight. Sometimes I hate that girl. Oliver was suddenly next to her. "So," Lilly said, linking her arm through his and letting her head fall onto his shoulder, "Do you think you can survive an entire summer with only little old me for company?"
Oliver laughed and looked at Lilly. "I think that this summer… it's definitely going to be interesting," he said. Then he added (maybe he didn't mean for me to hear this), "Sometimes I still wish it was just me and you."
I'm sitting here trying to convince myself that you're not the one for me
but the more I think, the less I believe, and the more I want you here with me
you know the holidays are coming up, I don't want to spend them alone
memories of Christmas time with you will just kill me if I'm on my own
September 1, 2010
4:07 p.m.
"How was your first day of school, honey?"
"Fine." Terrible.
"That's great. How was Miley's big vacation?"
"Awesome." Who cares?
"Do you have a lot of homework to do?"
"Yes. I'm going to go study now." I'm not sure, I was too distracted in all of my classes to even notice.
Lilly jogged up the stairs to her room, flung her backpack on the bed and slammed the door behind her. Her eyes instantly fell on the picture on the nightstand: it was a snapshot of her and Oliver at a party this summer. She was on his back, laughing at something he had said and he was making some incredibly stupid face at the camera. She ran over to the frame and chunked it across the room. Hearing the glass on the frame shatter, she ran over to it and picked it up, holding it tightly to her chest and letting the tears that had been threatening to fall all day flow free.
She knew it was wrong, Oliver and Miley were together; she had no right to be upset that they showed it. I'd only thought that after everything this summer… things would be different.
She heard a peal of laughter come from outside of her house and she slowly stood up, making her way to the window. She glanced outside and felt her heart break even more. Oliver was running around his yard across the street, Miley on his back, spinning around in circles.
"Stop!" she squealed. "I'm getting dizzy!"
They fell to the ground and Miley laughed and laughed and laughed. It's almost like she's rubbing it in…
And then they were kissing. And as much as she wanted to (really, really wanted to) she couldn't tear her eyes away.
A few moments later, Miley was on her cell phone. Lilly saw her sigh and kiss Oliver's cheek before jumping into her Land Rover and speeding away.
Oliver's eyes instantly went to her window. Lilly's blue eyes met his brown ones and for a brief second, she forgot everything that had made her cry. He smiled, she remembered, and she pulled the curtains tightly shut.
I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
and I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
and I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
and you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did
June 22, 2010
1:01 p.m.
"It's hot."
"Aren't you a smart one?" Oliver laughed, wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead. He got out of his old Ford Bronco and walked toward the trunk, popping it open. "The Bronco's air conditioning is broken… again."
Lilly blew some hair out of her eyes and stood. "Did you bring my board?"
Oliver started to pull a surfboard out of the car. "No, retard, I've only been surfing with you every day for the past month and I suddenly forgot that you left your board in my car." He turned to face Lilly who was glaring at him and laughed. "Yes, I brought it." He pulled it out.
Lilly reached for it. "Thank you," she said. "You could have just said that from the beginning, you know."
"I know that, but it wouldn't have been as much fun." He watched as Lilly stumbled under the weight of the board. "Got it?"
"Yeah," she said. He laughed at her as she blew her hair out of her cheeks, steadied the board under her arm, and started trudging toward the beach. His phone started to ring inside of his pocket. He pulled it out and glanced at the screen; it read "Miley!!". He glanced once more at Lilly who had dropped her surfboard in the sand and was peeling off her tank top. Then he pressed "ignore."
I know its not the smartest thing to do we just can't seem to get it right
but what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight
one more chance tonight
September 2, 2010
12:37 p.m.
Oliver sat at the lunch table trying to use some mysterious mind powers to will Lilly into looking him. Across the table, Lilly was using the same mysterious mind powers to keep her gaze focused on her (disgusting) bologna sandwich.
"So, anyway, are you going to come?"
After a moment of awkward silence, Lilly slowly raised her eyes to meet Miley's, only to realize that she must have been talking to her. "Uh, I… yes." I hope I didn't just agree to attend Miley and Oliver's wedding.
"Oh, Lil, that's awesome! The party's going to be so much fun." Miley squealed, clapping her hands together and bouncing in her seat. "Isn't that awesome, Oliver?"
Oliver seemed just as stunned as Lilly. "Uh… yeah, yeah, so awesome." He smiled at Miley and pressed a kiss to her temple.
I'm going to throw up. "I'm going to go get some water." Lilly pushed away from the table and stood up, making her way out of the cafeteria and into the hallway. Breathe, breathe.
"Hey."
Okay, just stopped breathing.
"Hi."
"Listen, I-"
"Save it." It took all of her strength, but she actually went to the water fountain and got that sip of water.
"Lilly, come on." Oliver was on her heels. He grabbed her elbow and spun her around. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I miss you… I miss us."
Lilly shook her head. "Don't say that."
"But it's true! Lilly, I meant what I said, I'm in love with you!"
"And I meant what I said, Oliver! You can't have me and Miley! You have to make a choice!" She took a few steps backward. "And the choice that you've made is pretty clear."
I'm sitting here trying to entertain myself with this old guitar
but with all my inspiration gone, it's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
oh please, baby, won't you take my hand we've got nothing left to prove
August 28, 2010
11:19 p.m.
"So…"
"So…"
Lilly sighed and fell back into the grass, her hands behind her head. "Miley comes back tomorrow."
Oliver turned onto his side, propped up on his elbow. "Yup," he said. "That she does."
Lilly sighed again and rolled over so that she wasn't facing him. I can't let him see me cry.
Oliver ran his fingernails up and down her back lightly. "Hey," he whispered. "What's wrong?"
Lilly took a deep breath and rolled over so that she was facing him. "Can I tell you a secret?" He nodded. "Maybe I like hanging out… just me and you," she said tentatively. "Maybe I'm not ready for Miley to come back."
Oliver smiled and pushed the hair out of her face. "Can I tell you a secret?" She smiled lazily and he continued. "Maybe I'm not ready for Miley to come back either."
Lilly sat up and crossed her legs so that she was sitting Indian style. She pulled Oliver's head into her lap and ran her fingers through his hair. "Can I tell you another secret? Maybe I'm a little bit jealous of you and Miley."
"Can I tell you another secret? Maybe sometimes I wish I was with you instead of Miley."
"I have one more secret," Lilly whispered. Oliver sat up so that he was facing her. She took a deep breath, "Maybe I think that I'm falling in love with you."
Oliver cupped her face with his hands. "I have one more secret, too." He leaned close to her so that their lips were mere centimeters apart. "I know that I'm in love with you." He leaned closer and demolished the distance between them.
and I didn't mean to meet you then, we were just kids
and I didn't mean to give you chills, the way that I kiss
and I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
and you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
September 5, 2010
12:18 a.m.
In the end, it hadn't taken much to convince Miley that she was sick and wouldn't be able to attend the party. Lilly didn't think that her performance was all that convincing, she simply thought that Miley wasn't so sure she wanted her there.
She, instead, spent the first Friday night of her senior year in her bed watching The O.C. DVDs, wishing that Oliver was as into her as Seth Cohen was Summer Roberts. She sighed as Seth climbed onto the coffee cart to proclaim his undying love for the embarrassed girl. As the scene concluded, she grabbed the remote control and rewound, ready to watch it again.
There was a loud scream from outside and she paused the show, wrapping her comforter around herself and walking to the window. She peeked through the blinds and gasped.
Miley was in Oliver's driveway crying and stomping her feet. "No, no, no!" she was screaming. Oliver was rubbing his temples and then he was gesturing… Oh my God, he's pointing at my house… at my window.
Next thing she knew, Miley was peeling down the street in her Land Rover and Oliver was standing under her window, beckoning for her to come down. Lilly felt her breath hitch in her throat as she dropped the comforter and raced down the stairs.
When she opened the front door, he was on her porch.
"Hey."
"Hi." Oh my God.
"I broke up with Miley."
"I saw… heard." Oh my God.
"You're it, Lils. You're my girl." He stepped forward and placed his hands on her waist, pulling her close to him. "I love you and I always will."
Lilly leaned forward and pressed her lips to his passionately. They broke away after a moment and she let her hands slide up his chest, linking behind his neck. "So, it's just you and me now?"
He kissed her forehead gently. "Yup," he said. "Truscott, you're going to be stuck with me for a long, long time."
no you didn't mean to love me back…
…but you did.