I wrote this story almost a moths ago when the rumors about the season finale started. Back then I thought that we will need some fic to cheer us up after the finale, so I wrote this and kept it in my pc until now. This story is a birthday present for a friends, I wasn't sure if I would have been able to write another one in time, so I kept it until now. A big thank you to my beta simplyn2deep. Hope you'll enjoy this.
Kisses
Xenia
Steve laid awake in his bed. He just got home from one of the worst night of his life. It was supposed to be a nice night out with his Ohana; he'd tried to take the night that way, but Gabrielle's presence kind of ruined things. Steve sat up, leaning his back against the headboard and took a couple of deep breaths. His heart was beating faster and faster and ached a little at every beat. Steve was used to that pain in his chest, he'd felt it in the last couple of month and he knew that he couldn't go on like that. What he was feeling now was the reason for he'd never let anyone come this close to him. But, honestly, how could he keep Danny further away, when couldn't deny anything to his partner?
Since the first time Steve had seen him, Danny had slowly infused himself in every aspect of his life. He'd become so important that when he wasn't around Steve felt lost. With his patience and his presence Danny had proved that he could trust him, that he cared about him and that Danny trusted him, not only with his life but also with his daughter, who was the most precious thing in his partner's life. For almost a year every time Steve had needed help, every time a ghost from his past had threatened to bring him down, Danny was right there, next to him and he'd never showed any intention of leaving him. Steve knew he was hard to deal with, he knew he wasn't good with feelings; he'd proved that when Meka was killed and everyone thought he was dirty, but Danny had never turned his back to him. Danny had always remained next to him. When Steve had trusted Nick and he'd stabbed him in the back, Danny had lost a great occasion to say I told you. He just forced him to get his arm checked, and then he'd taken him at his place and offered him a beer.
Time went by and without even realizing it Steve had found himself relying on his partner, Chin and Kono more than he'd ever done in his life with anyone else. Before he knew it Steve was in love with his partner, his best friend. He knew he didn't have any chance with Danny, but sometimes he saw in his partner's eyes a light that warmed his heart. He'd understood that he was in love with Danny when he was poisoned with Sarin Gas. Seeing him against that wall, unable to breathe had taken his breath away. It reminded him of the day his father died. He wasn't able to help his father then, just like he didn't know how to help his partner now. His heart had started to beat faster and he hadn't calmed down even when he'd known that Danny was going to be okay. Working after he'd seen Danny in the hospital with Grace was one of the hardest thing Steve had ever done in his life, but he was a SEAL and he knew how to handle his emotions, how to push them away in order to focus on the task at hand. So he'd gone back to the office and closed the case. His mind was on the work at hand but his heart was in the hospital with Danno and Grace. When he'd come back to hospital that night, to see his partner and take Grace for the night, and he'd seen Danny and Rachel asleep on the bed his heart broke. Seeing Danny with Rachel hurt not only because that took away any hope for him, but most of all because Danny hadn't told anything to him.
Steve knew that Rachel wasn't right for his partner and he'd told that to Danny. He'd told him that he just wanted him to be happy, but that Rachel wasn't right. Danny hadn't listened and she had almost taken him away. Luckily Stan had gone to Jersey to take his wife back and Rachel had showed Danny who she really was. She was a liar who was just looking for an easy way out from her marriage. Steve had been mad at her for a long time for the way she'd hurt Danny, but somehow he was even grateful. At the end when Danny had to choose between flying to New Jersey with his family and staying in Hawaii and clear Steve's name, Danny had stayed. He'd chosen him. Every day when Danny went to visit him in jail Steve had seen the pain in his eyes. And then when he was released and everything went back to normal Steve had seen something different in Danny's behaviour. Something he couldn't name, something that had made him hope.
Steve knew he shouldn't have done that, he shouldn't have hoped, but he couldn't help himself. And this time the delusion had been way more painful, because what he wasn't expecting was Doctor Gabrielle Asano. Steve had pushed Danny toward her because he just wanted him to be happy: and Danny was straight, he was a family man and Steve couldn't give him a real family. Steve had stayed behind watching their relationship grow stronger. And every step forward they took broke his heart. He really believed that he could live near Danny just ad his best friend that he could be happy for him. The dinner at the Hilton had showed him that he couldn't, that he wasn't strong enough. Even if he shouldn't he had start to think that Grace and Danny were his family. But when he saw Danny and Grace and Gaby play on the beach he'd understood that they were a real family, or at least should be. A family like he, Danny and Grace couldn't be. He hadn't slept all night, hunted by that image.
Steve looked at the clock. 5:50 am. It was almost dawn. Steve got up and went to his morning swim a little earlier than usual. He swam a little longer than usual. The ocean always helped him in washing away his pain. And it worked that morning. When he got out from the water he'd made a decision.