Disclaimer : I own nothing but the plot. Everything belongs to Joan
Rowling !
A/N : I was so depressed these days... We were celebrating the end of school and we went to a disco club. There was my crush also. I always hesitated to tell her about my feelings... Now I regret it... When I saw her dancing with another guy...God, it was terrible ! So... I came home and decided to write a fic to... I don't know... to threw away my pain... Even though it didn't help. :(( This fic is short and a bit sad but review anyway !
Love without respond
Harry was very nervous. First, because it was his last day at Hogwarts. Second, because there will be a ball in a few minutes. He was ready for it already. He looked into the mirror at himself : he was wearing his green cloak, black trousers, white skirt, black tie ( 'cause the gryffindore tie wasn't suitable ) and also brand new boots which were so perfectly clean that were just like the looking-glass. His glasses were not round anymore. He got tired of this shape and changed it to rectangular. Needless to say that he was a very good looking guy in any kind of glasses...but they were more stylish then the previous one's.
Harry looked at his hair. It was still as messy as ever... so he didn't pay attention at it. He gave up many many years ago and now he wasn't even trying to do something with them.
" Okay... Everything will be okay... Don't be nervous... Just don't be afraid.. " - he said to himself. But he was afraid. Ever since he noticed that he has some feelings for Hermione he was trying to gather all his courage to tell her that. He knew perfectly what to say. But when he was near her he couldn't talk. To tell the truth, after their fifth year at Hogwarts Hermione became very popular and many guys were dreaming to date her. Hermione spent a year with some guys but right now she was free.
How painful it was to see Hermione with someone else. How painful it was to see how those guys are touching, kissing, hugging her. He was trying to avoid her... but it didn't seem possible 'cause Hermione Granger was in Gryffindore too and he was seen her everyday. Thank's god she wasn't paying attention at that fact.
Ron obviously knew why Harry was acting himself like that but he was silence. He thought that Harry is a big boy and he can take care of himself. In fact, Ron was more concerned about his marks(grades) right now so he just haven't got much time to worry about Harry too.
Harry felt lonely. He was left all alone with his own problems and there was no one to help him to solve them. A year had passed... and then another year... He still didn't tell her about his feelings. But now when he ended learning at Hogwarts he had nothing to loose. He will tell her how he feel about her. Well, she's free anyway ! She's not dating with anyone. He's the right time to tell her everything. Harry sighed and walked out of the bathroom. Ron was changing into his robes. Harry walked past him without saying a word. Actually, they quarreled a bit. Harry was very mad at Ron 'cause he started to have an interest in his problems only now... when it's too late. When he needed help badly there were no one by his side... and now Ron is willing to help him ! "Too late... you can't help me anymore, mate. You better go and read another chapter from your textbook..." - Harry said and stormed out of the gryffindore tower. Their fight took place two weeks ago and they were still not talking to each other. Not daring to say a word.
Harry was slowly walking through the corridor straight to the Great Hall where the ball was held. He was thinking of how will he tell her that he love her... he was trying to imagine his reaction. Will she be glad ? Or she'll get mad at him ? What will she do ? Will she answer his feelings ? Harry doubted that she will return his feelings but still he had to try at least... He finished learning at school and maybe they won't see each other again. He had to do it. He had to tell her. Yes, he had to do it but why the hell there's no courage to pronounce three simple words : "I love you " ? Is it do damn hard ?!
Harry walked into the Great Hall . It was decorated almost as when it was a Yule Ball. Almost no changes. Still the Great Hall was most beautiful today. He slowly walked to the table with food and drinks and poured some pumpking juice into the goblet. He turned around and started to search for Hermione Elle Granger. " She has to be somewhere... " - he thought. But she was nowhere seen. He put down his goblet and walked to the centre of the Hall where everybody were dancing. The melody was quick and seemed very familiar. Harry started to move to the rhythm of the melody. Yes, he learned how to dance. :)During the six year there were a few balls and he had a good practice... He found Seamus in the crowd who was dancing and singing a song at the same time. His face was red and his breath was quick as if he had ran a few kilometres.
- It's a cool party, isn't it, Harry ? - he shouted. Harry nodded not looking at him. He was still looking for Hermione's smiling face in the crowd of students. But it was almost impossible to find her here. The melody suddenly became slow. Harry stopped dancing. He was starting to panic. He wanted to ask Hermione for a dance and he couldn't even find her !
He turned around once again and saw her at last. She was holding Victor Krum's hand who was leading her to the centre of the Hall. She was smiling widely and seem very happy... Harry felt as if the ground under his feet disappeared and he started to fall into the endless hole. Pain appeared in his chest. He felt that tears were forming in his eyes but he held them back with all strength he had. He felt his legs stick to the floor and his body seemed to be paralysed. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak. His jaw dropped. He was looking at Hermione and Krum not daring to look anywhere else.
- Harry, wanna dance ? - he heard someone's voice behind his back. It was Cho. It was obvious that she was expecting Harry to say : " of course " but instead he left without saying a word. He stormed out of the Great Hall and sat on an the stairs.
He covered his face with his hands. He wasn't crying even though he wanted to. He kept reminding himself that he's a man... and man are not crying... but how hard it was to keep his emotions inside of him ! The scene of Hermione wrapping her arms around Krum's neck was still before his eyes. One tear slipped down his chick...then another... Harry couldn't fight any more. He started to cry silently hoping that nobody will see that. However there were two persons who did. It was Seamus and Dean. They sat down on the stairway beside Harry. They were silence for a few moments and then Dean spoke :
- Harry, is everything all right ? We saw you almost running out of the Great Hall...
- Actually, I don't want to talk about this right now, guys... - Harry answered looking at his fingers.
- Tell us what happened ? - Seamus said.
- Is it because of Hermione and Krum ? We know that you're not yourself because of her for almost two years already....
- Yeah, it's all because of her... - Harry agreed.
- Don't be sad.... It's your last day at Hogwarts anyway...
- Yeah, I know... but it's so awful to see them together... What's he doing here anyway ?
- He came here for a few days.
- Strange... I didn't see him here...
- That's because you were sitting in your dorm all the time, mate. - Dean said. Harry looked at him and nodded.
- Yeah...
- Are you sure you're okay ?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'll get over it. I just need more time.
- Sure. There will be other girls, you know. She's not the only girl in the world. - Seamus said trying to encourage his friend. Harry nodded even though he wasn't thinking like that. His heart was broken and he felt like his soul was bleeding. It was hard to even breath, it was hard to sit here and talk to Dean and Seamus... he didn't want to tell them about his feelings but words were pouring out of him and he couldn't stop.
- Oh, I wanna kill him ! I mean it ! I wanna beat him and see him lying on the floor in a pool of blood....
- That won't change anything, mate..believe me. - Dean said.
- I know... It's just I can't see him holding her... I mean... it was very painful to see 'Mione with other guys... but seen her with Krum even worse.
- I know... I can understand your feelings... Have you seen Lavender ?
- No...
- She's dancing with Justin Finch-Fletchley.... I had the same feelings... but then I decided that no matter what I will spend my last day at Hogwarts without sad expression on my face. I suggest you to follow my example.
Harry nodded again. Dean was right. He knew it. But he couldn't help but think about how he hated Victor Krum.
- Well... I guess you're right. Let's get back to the Great Hall then.
They stood up and walked back to the Great Hall. The melody changed to quick one again. Some couples were dancing. Some were sitting at the table and drinking butterbeer or pumpkin juice and having rest. Harry sat on a bench and took a bottle of butterbeer. " It would be good to get drunk... Unfortunately butterbeer will not make such an effect on me... " - Harry thought sadly. Dean and Seamus joined the dancing couples only after making sure that Harry's all right. But Harry wasn't all right at all. He felt like his life had ended. He was drinking his butterbeer and trying to calm himself down by throwing away thoughts about Hermione and Krum but with no success. He turned to his right and noticed both of them a few metres away from him. He was strugglling with a huge urge to throw his bottle at Krum's head... He wanted to hurt him, he wanted him to feel the pain.... He wanted him to know what it's like to see a girl whom you love with another guy... He wanted to make him feel miserable. It was disgusting to see Hermione laugh from a joke that Victor told her... It was hard to see them together but a thought that he's not the one who can make her happy was even more painful. Harry wanted to disappear... to hide from everyone and don't see the two of them together... but then he remembered Dean's words : " It's your last day at Hogwarts, mate... " and the desire to run away was fading. Harry stood up and walked to the centre of the Great Hall. He started to dance along with laughing Dean and Seamus. He put on a fake smile and tried to look happy but inside of him everything was breaking and bleeding... The ball was spoiled already and there was no way he can return his good mood again... Nevertheless he was trying his best not to show it. The music was playing... students were laughing and dancing.... not thinking about anything at all.
Harry on the other hand was only wishing for this ball to end as quick as possible... just to run away from here...somewhere far far away... He wasn't sure if he will ever be able to get over all this... Hermione was his first love... And first love remain in our hearts forever no matter what happens in our lives... Yeah... True what was said : " First love - true love ". Unfortunately, love can give us not only happyness but pain also... and this pain will remain as a deep scar on our heart which will never be able to disappear.
THE END
Sad, I know... But I'm in such mood right now... Almost everything in my story is based on a true story. Almost the same thing happened to me when I was at a disco club... Oh, I better shut up... Review, anyway !
A/N : I was so depressed these days... We were celebrating the end of school and we went to a disco club. There was my crush also. I always hesitated to tell her about my feelings... Now I regret it... When I saw her dancing with another guy...God, it was terrible ! So... I came home and decided to write a fic to... I don't know... to threw away my pain... Even though it didn't help. :(( This fic is short and a bit sad but review anyway !
Love without respond
Harry was very nervous. First, because it was his last day at Hogwarts. Second, because there will be a ball in a few minutes. He was ready for it already. He looked into the mirror at himself : he was wearing his green cloak, black trousers, white skirt, black tie ( 'cause the gryffindore tie wasn't suitable ) and also brand new boots which were so perfectly clean that were just like the looking-glass. His glasses were not round anymore. He got tired of this shape and changed it to rectangular. Needless to say that he was a very good looking guy in any kind of glasses...but they were more stylish then the previous one's.
Harry looked at his hair. It was still as messy as ever... so he didn't pay attention at it. He gave up many many years ago and now he wasn't even trying to do something with them.
" Okay... Everything will be okay... Don't be nervous... Just don't be afraid.. " - he said to himself. But he was afraid. Ever since he noticed that he has some feelings for Hermione he was trying to gather all his courage to tell her that. He knew perfectly what to say. But when he was near her he couldn't talk. To tell the truth, after their fifth year at Hogwarts Hermione became very popular and many guys were dreaming to date her. Hermione spent a year with some guys but right now she was free.
How painful it was to see Hermione with someone else. How painful it was to see how those guys are touching, kissing, hugging her. He was trying to avoid her... but it didn't seem possible 'cause Hermione Granger was in Gryffindore too and he was seen her everyday. Thank's god she wasn't paying attention at that fact.
Ron obviously knew why Harry was acting himself like that but he was silence. He thought that Harry is a big boy and he can take care of himself. In fact, Ron was more concerned about his marks(grades) right now so he just haven't got much time to worry about Harry too.
Harry felt lonely. He was left all alone with his own problems and there was no one to help him to solve them. A year had passed... and then another year... He still didn't tell her about his feelings. But now when he ended learning at Hogwarts he had nothing to loose. He will tell her how he feel about her. Well, she's free anyway ! She's not dating with anyone. He's the right time to tell her everything. Harry sighed and walked out of the bathroom. Ron was changing into his robes. Harry walked past him without saying a word. Actually, they quarreled a bit. Harry was very mad at Ron 'cause he started to have an interest in his problems only now... when it's too late. When he needed help badly there were no one by his side... and now Ron is willing to help him ! "Too late... you can't help me anymore, mate. You better go and read another chapter from your textbook..." - Harry said and stormed out of the gryffindore tower. Their fight took place two weeks ago and they were still not talking to each other. Not daring to say a word.
Harry was slowly walking through the corridor straight to the Great Hall where the ball was held. He was thinking of how will he tell her that he love her... he was trying to imagine his reaction. Will she be glad ? Or she'll get mad at him ? What will she do ? Will she answer his feelings ? Harry doubted that she will return his feelings but still he had to try at least... He finished learning at school and maybe they won't see each other again. He had to do it. He had to tell her. Yes, he had to do it but why the hell there's no courage to pronounce three simple words : "I love you " ? Is it do damn hard ?!
Harry walked into the Great Hall . It was decorated almost as when it was a Yule Ball. Almost no changes. Still the Great Hall was most beautiful today. He slowly walked to the table with food and drinks and poured some pumpking juice into the goblet. He turned around and started to search for Hermione Elle Granger. " She has to be somewhere... " - he thought. But she was nowhere seen. He put down his goblet and walked to the centre of the Hall where everybody were dancing. The melody was quick and seemed very familiar. Harry started to move to the rhythm of the melody. Yes, he learned how to dance. :)During the six year there were a few balls and he had a good practice... He found Seamus in the crowd who was dancing and singing a song at the same time. His face was red and his breath was quick as if he had ran a few kilometres.
- It's a cool party, isn't it, Harry ? - he shouted. Harry nodded not looking at him. He was still looking for Hermione's smiling face in the crowd of students. But it was almost impossible to find her here. The melody suddenly became slow. Harry stopped dancing. He was starting to panic. He wanted to ask Hermione for a dance and he couldn't even find her !
He turned around once again and saw her at last. She was holding Victor Krum's hand who was leading her to the centre of the Hall. She was smiling widely and seem very happy... Harry felt as if the ground under his feet disappeared and he started to fall into the endless hole. Pain appeared in his chest. He felt that tears were forming in his eyes but he held them back with all strength he had. He felt his legs stick to the floor and his body seemed to be paralysed. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak. His jaw dropped. He was looking at Hermione and Krum not daring to look anywhere else.
- Harry, wanna dance ? - he heard someone's voice behind his back. It was Cho. It was obvious that she was expecting Harry to say : " of course " but instead he left without saying a word. He stormed out of the Great Hall and sat on an the stairs.
He covered his face with his hands. He wasn't crying even though he wanted to. He kept reminding himself that he's a man... and man are not crying... but how hard it was to keep his emotions inside of him ! The scene of Hermione wrapping her arms around Krum's neck was still before his eyes. One tear slipped down his chick...then another... Harry couldn't fight any more. He started to cry silently hoping that nobody will see that. However there were two persons who did. It was Seamus and Dean. They sat down on the stairway beside Harry. They were silence for a few moments and then Dean spoke :
- Harry, is everything all right ? We saw you almost running out of the Great Hall...
- Actually, I don't want to talk about this right now, guys... - Harry answered looking at his fingers.
- Tell us what happened ? - Seamus said.
- Is it because of Hermione and Krum ? We know that you're not yourself because of her for almost two years already....
- Yeah, it's all because of her... - Harry agreed.
- Don't be sad.... It's your last day at Hogwarts anyway...
- Yeah, I know... but it's so awful to see them together... What's he doing here anyway ?
- He came here for a few days.
- Strange... I didn't see him here...
- That's because you were sitting in your dorm all the time, mate. - Dean said. Harry looked at him and nodded.
- Yeah...
- Are you sure you're okay ?
- Yeah, I'm fine. I'll get over it. I just need more time.
- Sure. There will be other girls, you know. She's not the only girl in the world. - Seamus said trying to encourage his friend. Harry nodded even though he wasn't thinking like that. His heart was broken and he felt like his soul was bleeding. It was hard to even breath, it was hard to sit here and talk to Dean and Seamus... he didn't want to tell them about his feelings but words were pouring out of him and he couldn't stop.
- Oh, I wanna kill him ! I mean it ! I wanna beat him and see him lying on the floor in a pool of blood....
- That won't change anything, mate..believe me. - Dean said.
- I know... It's just I can't see him holding her... I mean... it was very painful to see 'Mione with other guys... but seen her with Krum even worse.
- I know... I can understand your feelings... Have you seen Lavender ?
- No...
- She's dancing with Justin Finch-Fletchley.... I had the same feelings... but then I decided that no matter what I will spend my last day at Hogwarts without sad expression on my face. I suggest you to follow my example.
Harry nodded again. Dean was right. He knew it. But he couldn't help but think about how he hated Victor Krum.
- Well... I guess you're right. Let's get back to the Great Hall then.
They stood up and walked back to the Great Hall. The melody changed to quick one again. Some couples were dancing. Some were sitting at the table and drinking butterbeer or pumpkin juice and having rest. Harry sat on a bench and took a bottle of butterbeer. " It would be good to get drunk... Unfortunately butterbeer will not make such an effect on me... " - Harry thought sadly. Dean and Seamus joined the dancing couples only after making sure that Harry's all right. But Harry wasn't all right at all. He felt like his life had ended. He was drinking his butterbeer and trying to calm himself down by throwing away thoughts about Hermione and Krum but with no success. He turned to his right and noticed both of them a few metres away from him. He was strugglling with a huge urge to throw his bottle at Krum's head... He wanted to hurt him, he wanted him to feel the pain.... He wanted him to know what it's like to see a girl whom you love with another guy... He wanted to make him feel miserable. It was disgusting to see Hermione laugh from a joke that Victor told her... It was hard to see them together but a thought that he's not the one who can make her happy was even more painful. Harry wanted to disappear... to hide from everyone and don't see the two of them together... but then he remembered Dean's words : " It's your last day at Hogwarts, mate... " and the desire to run away was fading. Harry stood up and walked to the centre of the Great Hall. He started to dance along with laughing Dean and Seamus. He put on a fake smile and tried to look happy but inside of him everything was breaking and bleeding... The ball was spoiled already and there was no way he can return his good mood again... Nevertheless he was trying his best not to show it. The music was playing... students were laughing and dancing.... not thinking about anything at all.
Harry on the other hand was only wishing for this ball to end as quick as possible... just to run away from here...somewhere far far away... He wasn't sure if he will ever be able to get over all this... Hermione was his first love... And first love remain in our hearts forever no matter what happens in our lives... Yeah... True what was said : " First love - true love ". Unfortunately, love can give us not only happyness but pain also... and this pain will remain as a deep scar on our heart which will never be able to disappear.
THE END
Sad, I know... But I'm in such mood right now... Almost everything in my story is based on a true story. Almost the same thing happened to me when I was at a disco club... Oh, I better shut up... Review, anyway !