A/N: This is a HB, CP, KS, & SP 1shot dedicated to Mel-Girl! Enjoy & review! Sorry it's running a little late but I've been REALLY busy!

Disclaimer: If I ever say I own Hamtaro, hit me over the head with a frying pan & question my sanity!

Bijou liked Hamtaro. Hamtaro liked Bijou. Except they didn't know. So what happened? THIS happened! And now I will tell you the story!

Bijou was sitting around with Kether & Sandy who were cuddled on the couch, Stan & Pashmina who were sitting kissing each other, & Penelope & Cappy who were holding hands. Bijou sighed. She was happy for her friends. She really was. Just once, just once, she wished that SHE could be the one who got a boyfriend. She sighed again.

"What's wrong Bij?" Kether, the-ever-social-&-good-at-finding-out-secrets-person, asked.

"I think I want to ask Hamtaro out." Bijou said.

"Go for it!" Sandy encouraged, "I'm sure he'll go out with you!"

"There's no WAY he could say no to you!" Kether added. Stan & Pashmina broke off their kiss to nod in agreement.

"Never go to the ARCADE for a date! Me & Cappy did it & it was BORING!" Penelope said.

"I had fun!" Cappy protested.

"YOU did!" Penelope snapped, "But who cares if I had fun!"

Bijou drifted off into la-la land as the young couple fought. Next time she saw Hamtaro she would most DEFINITELY ask him out!

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Bijou saw Hamtaro the next day & ran over to him. "HAMTARO!" she yelled, "Do you, um, want to go out with me?" she asked nervously, running her hand through her hair.

"Sure!" Hamtaro said, not knowing what Bijou meant but making her eyes light up, "Let's go to the arcade!"

"Never mind." Bijou said, her eyes filling with tears. Just as she was turning away & Oshare & Sparkle popped up.

"I'LL GO IN HER PLACE!" they both screamed.

"NO!" Bijou yelled, "I'll go!"

Now it was a contest!

"Oh 'Amtaro!" Oshare gushed, "I veally vould like to go with you!"

Bijou's blood boiled. That was HER accent!

Sparkle pushed Oshare out of the way, knocking her to the ground.

"HEY!" Oshare cried, "YOU'RE getting my 500 DOLLAR outfit dirty!"

"Ooopsie." Sparkle said in a mock tone & Bijou couldn't help but giggle, "Anyway, Hamtaro, why don't WE go to the arcade? We could have some fun." Sparkle wiggled her chest suggestively & put her arms on Hamtaro's shoulders.

Hamtaro pushed her off. "No thanx Sparkle!" Hamtaro said.

"'Amtaro!" Bijou said, pushing Sparkle out of the way but not on the floor. She HAD told Oshare off! "This eez zilly! I waz the one who asked you out first! So kindly tell these girls you want to go weeth me."

Hamtaro sweat-dropped. "You said you didn't want to go Bij." Hamtaro said.

"I was being stupeeed!" Bijou whined, "Hamtaro, plz!"

"Hamtaro, please!" Sparkle cried.

"HAMTARO!" Oshare shrieked, "I already got my hair & 500 dollar outfit dirty! PLEASE pick me!"

"Who cares if your friggin' outfit got dirty!" Bijou & Sparkle snapped, both surprised they'd agreed on something.

"You have DISGUSTING MOUTHS! BOTH OF YOU!" Oshare screeched.

"Well at least we're not snobby French bi-" Bijou & Sparkle both started to scream when Hamtaro yelled, "STOP IT!" at the top of his lungs, causing everyone in the room to look at them!

"I'll take… Oshare!" Hamtaro announced.

Bijou & Sparkle both gasped as Oshare smirked & took Hamtaro's arm. The only thing to satisfy Bijou & Sparkle was that Hamtaro pushed her arm off coldly.

"WHY THAT BI-" Sparkle & Bijou yelled.

"We HAVE to do something!" Sparkle cried, flapping her arms around dramatically.

"WE?" Bijou asked, "What 'we'?"

"Well come on!" Sparkle said, pulling Bijou towards her & away from the door, "Two heads are better then one! We OBVIOUSLY have to team up!"

Bijou sighed in resignation.

"I guess your right." She admitted.

"So what should we do, Bijou?" Sparkle asked. It felt WEIRD to call Bijou Bijou instead of 'frenchie'!

"I don't know… Sparkle." Bijou blushed slightly. It was weird & embarrassing to call Sparkle anything aside from a… well you know.

"To bad we can't sneak into the arcade, go to the diner in there, dress up as two waitresses & totally ruin their date & make that freaking Oshare-who-ruined-our-lives look like an idiot!" Sparkle said.

Bijou's eyes widened & she clapped her hands together. "THAT'S PERFECT SPARKLE YOU IDIOT! YOU JUST MADE OUR PLAN WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT!" she yelled, dragging Sparkle out of the room.

"HEY! WHO SAID I WAS AN IDIOT?" Sparkle demanded as she was being dragged out.

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I have to & hate to say but… Sparkle & Bijou looked ridiculous! They were both wearing ridiculously tight waitresses' outfits & they were wearing hats with their hair up in them. Sparkle was pretending to be French & Bijou was keeping her French accent.

"OK," Sparkle said, "The girl from hell & Hamtaro are sitting down!"

"Ready?" Bijou asked.

"You betcha ya!" Sparkle said exuberantly.

They both walked out to where Oshare & Hamtaro were sitting. "Oh, you were just soooo good at that game Hamtaro!" she gushed.

"Excuse me ma'am but vou are not allowed to gush in our diner!" Sparkle said in her French accent, stuffing a napkin in Oshare's mouth.

"HEY!" Oshare shrieked, pulling the napkin out of her mouth, "WATCH IT LADY!"

"Sparkle." Bijou hissed, "Don't make eet obvious!"

"'Ello!" Bijou said cheerfully, "We are your waitresses! I am Bon-Bon & she eez, um, Zarah!"

"Are vou both French?" Oshare asked skeptically.

"Yez Miss." Sparkle said.

"Vow!" some random guy said, "Three French girls at the same table!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm going to go insane!" Hamtaro yelled.

"HEY!" Oshare said, "Don't bag my race!" THIS is the guy I like? Oshare thought.

"Sor-ry!" Hamtaro cried, holding up his hands, "I guess I'm different that you thought!" Oshare banged her head on the table.

Bijou & Sparkle tried to cover up their giggles by stuffing their aprons in their mouths.

"Zo, vhat veel vou have?" Sparkle asked in her ridiculously fake accent.

Oshare's eyes narrowed into slits. There was something SUSPICIOUS about these two girls! They looked familiar!

Bijou & Sparkle were still giggling.

"Vhat's zo vunny?" Oshare demanded.

Sparkle burst out laughing. "Did you hear her, Bij? 'GAWD! WHAT'S SO FUNNY?'" The two 'waitresses' burst into hysterics.

Oshare glared at the two cuz Hamtaro was eying Bon-Bon hopefully!

"I will have a diet sprite." Oshare ordered.

"She looks like she needs a diet!" Sparkle whispered to Bijou.

Bijou giggled shrilly & so did Sparkle.

"HEY! Vhat is vrong vith vou two?" Oshare demanded.

Hamtaro was snickering.

"'AMTARO!" Oshare shrieked, "I thought you were nicer then that!"

"Guess I surprised you!" Hamtaro smirked.

Bijou, who 'just happened' to be carrying a plate of spaghetti, spilled it all over Oshare!

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" Oshare screamed.

Well Oshare was busy screaming over her expensive outfit, Bijou & Sparkle rushed into the kitchen to laugh!

"OH MY GOD!" Bijou gasped for breath.

"I don't think I've ever seen Oshare so mad!" Sparkle gasped.

After the two girls were through with their hysterics, they walked back outside, they're outfits a mess from laughing so hard!

WAIT! Did Sarah, lose her accent when she was mimicking me? And did she call Bon-Bon… Bij? And is that a little brown pigtail poking out of Sarah's hat? And a piece of platinum blonde hair sticking out of Bon-Bon's? Oshare thought, glaring.

"'Ere are your drinks!" Sparkle said. Little did Oshare know they had put spicy taco sauce in her drink!

Oshare drank some & then screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EEEEEET BURNZ! EEEEEEEEEEET BURNZ!"

Bijou quickly replaced the drink with a normal one.

And what was Hamtaro doing? He was laughing his butt off!

Oshare drained a whole glass of water at once & demanded, "Ztop laugheeng!"

"How the heck can sprite BURN?" Hamtaro asked.

"Try it!" Oshare demanded. NOW he'll see! Oshare thought.

Hamtaro tried some & snickered even more. "This is perfectly good sprite, Oshare!" he said.

"NO EETS NOT!" Oshare screamed, close to tears. She drank some more to try it & it tasted totally normal! "Oh." She said. I thought 'Amtaro was nicer then theees! She thought sadly.

Bijou & Sparkle were meanwhile cracking up! "OMG! I never knew this was so much fun!" Bijou cried.

"Maybe we should, you know, hang out more often!" Sparkle suggested timidly.

"Seriously?" Bijou asked.

"Yeah." Sparkle said, "Was that a no?"

"No. It's an OF COURSE YOU FRIGGIN' MORON!" Bijou yelled.

"So, friends?" Sparkle asked, holding out her hand.

"No." Bijou said.

Sparkle gave her a look of hurt.

"Best friends!" Bijou said, hugging her.

They walked back out & realized Hamtaro & Oshare had both gone to the bathroom. Bijou & Sparkle took HUGE wads of chewing gum from their mouths & put them on Oshare's chair! When Oshare & Hamtaro came back, Oshare sat in her seat & when she went to get up again. Her chair went up with her because it was stuck to her butt!

She pulled & pulled but couldn't get it off! Meanwhile Hamtaro, Bijou, & Sparkle were sniggering uncontrollably.

"'AMTARO!" Oshare yelled, "HELP!"

Hamtaro walked over & pulled & pulled & finally RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!

They all started laughing uncontrollably again.

"WHAT?" Oshare asked, "What happened?"

"Your-" Hamtaro gasped.

"Pants-" Sparkle gasped.

"Ripped!" Bijou finished, gasping for breath.

Oshare felt like bursting into tears right then! "I'M LEAVING! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN HAMTARO!" she yelled, storming out of the arcade.

"Sweet!" Hamtaro said under his breath.

"Mission accomplished!" Bijou high-fived Sparkle & they both giggled.

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After Hamtaro came back from his date, Bijou & Sparkle sat innocently on a couch, filing their nails.

"Hey Bij, I only went with Oshare because I wanted her to get bored with me." Hamtaro said.

"Vhy?" Bijou asked.

"Because… I… like… like… PIZZA!" Hamtaro said.

Bijou falls over Animie style. She trudges out of the room as Sparkle sends her a half-relieved, half-sympathetic look.

"I guess ve're not mean to be." Bijou whispered sadly.

Stan & Pashmina came in just then & Pashmina said, "NO! Bij! He DOES like you!"

"VHAT? No 'e doesn't!" Bijou protested.

"Yes he does, Bij baby!" Stan said, "He's just so clueless that he forgets your name when he gets nervous!"

Bijou's eyes lit up. "THANX GUYS!" she yelled, rushing over to Hamtaro. "HAMTARO!StanandPashminasaidthatyoureallydidlikemebutwhenyougotnervousyouforgotmyname!Isthattrue?" Bijou asked quickly.

"Yeah." Hamtaro admitted.

"I LOVE YOU HAMTARO!" Bijou said, flinging her arms around his neck & kissing him.

"I love you too… Bon-Bon." Hamtaro said, smirking.

"How did you know that was me &-" Bijou marveled.

"Sparkle?" Hamtaro finished, "It was SO OBVIOUS! Oshare was just too dumb to realize it! That was really hysterical guys!"

So you had a clueless ham-ham & his girlfriend, her three best friends, Bijou, Pashmina, & Penelope, & their boyfriends, Kether, Stan, & Cappy, sitting around the living room talking about how they pranked Oshare. And odd situation, yes. But then again, who like normal?

A/N: Did you like it, Mel? R&R! Was that Oshare bashing enough? I guess I kind of hate her! Just hit the little review button below!