Yes, I am a grumpy, unsatisfied old lady. Well, not really that old. But I decided to re-write a couple of my stories
'cause I just didn't like the way they were going! And therefore I never finished them.
It started with 'Dukes and Servants' then I deleted 'Parttime Imaginary Friends' (which will be back!)
And now 'Our Pain' made a restart too.
A bit more centered, shorter and more straight to the point. Also, it will be from Remus' & Sirius' point of view.
I like the idea how they remember or see things just a little different.
I hope you still like it. .
Summary:
With Harry around, Sirius feels the pain of losing James all over again. Why does everyone seem to forget Remus felt this pain too?
Rated T for language.
Sirius:
'I just think.. I think he sometimes forget you're Harry and not James.'
'So you think he's crazy?' Harry replied angrily.
' No, I don't. But I think he's been alone for a very long time.'
Sirius leaned against a wall, close to the door where the voices came from.
It was a long time ago voices found their path through this hallway. Even insults seemed like a pleasing conversation.
Hermione was right. He had been alone for a very long time.
Perhaps he was..
'You're not crazy.' When he turned he startled as he found Remus just a few inches away from him.
How long had he been standing there?
'Maybe I am.' Sirius replied. 'I've been alone for quite some time. Not so long ago I would've given anything to even hear Snape's voice.'
Remus' lips formed a small smile as he raised his finger as a sign for Sirius to listen. Somewhere beneath a voice rose up.
The slimy, rotten sound of that git..
Sirius made a face. 'Yeah. Perhaps that's a bit much. But I do miss a lot of voices. His..'
Something got stuck in his throat as he looked up in those warm, amber eyes.
'I know it's Harry. I really do. But sometimes when he moves or talks.
It feels like I got a second chance after all I've been through.
As if they gave me a second chance on James.
His voice broke. 'I miss him so much.'
Remus placed a soothing hand on the crying man's shoulder. 'I know.'
It was hardly more than a whisper. 'I miss him too.'
'We were a pain in the ass for so many people. But it was fun. God, I miss that guy.
I would give all in the world to have him around again. He was everything to me.'
'I know.' Remus simply replied.
With those words the man he once loved turned around and walked away.
Sirius was still leaning against the wall, hearing Hermione's voice over and over in his head.
Harry was not James, and he would never be. He knew that.
But that didn't mean it doesn't hurt.
Remus:
'I just think.. I think he sometimes forget you're Harry and not James.'
'So you think he's crazy?' Harry replied angrily.
' No, I don't. But I think he's been alone for a very long time.'
Remus walked up the hallway as he heard the voices fade out in a heated discussion.
Sirius was leaning against the wall, arms crossed as well as his feet. He would fall if he wouldn't be careful.
As he came closer he could just hear the worries raising through that curly head.
'You're not crazy.' A startled Sirius turned towards him and placed a hand on his heart to give sight to how Remus' had scared him.
In a flash Remus saw a little of the flamboyant, exaggerated teenager. He smiled.
'Maybe I am.' Sirius replied. 'I've been alone for quite some time. Not so long ago I would've given anything to even hear Snape's voice.'
Remus' lips formed a small smile.
The reason he escaped the meeting and went upstairs was to flee from Snape, who just entered the Headquarters
with another snare about how much of use he was to the Order, in contrast to someof the other members.
He raised his finger as a sign for Sirius to listen. Somewhere beneath a voice rose up.
A voice one might call deep and sexy. If you didn't hate the person in question, of course.
Sirius made a face. Again a little something of the young man that had loved life so much
'I know it's Harry. I really do. But sometimes when he moves or talks. It feels like I got a second chance after all I've been through.
As if they gave me a second chance on James. '
His voice broke. 'I miss him so much.'
Remus placed a soothing hand on the crying man's shoulder. 'I know.' Of course he knew.
Hadn't he been a teacher when Harry attended his third year at Hogwarts? Of course, he took things a lot more serious than his father had,
but sometimes it seemed like a ghost, wandering around. Somehow no one seemed to realize what he had gone through.
Sirius continued but Remus hardly heard what the man said. 'I know.' He simply replied. Something inside him just broke and
he needed to be alone for a while. With those words he turned around and walked away. Finding himself a safe place.
Somewhere he could have his share of grief, without anyone noticing.
That would be chapter one. Keep posted, updates to come soon!