Royal Satisfaction
His parents were Travellers. Going from city to city all over the Seven Kingdoms entertaining the folk in sticky pubs. Occasionally performing alongside the storyteller's tales so that afterwards the audience would pay them by throwing a few coins in their direction which the little boy had to collect.
When, only a few months old, one of his green eyes suddenly had turned yellow, his parents were happier than they had ever been in their unsteady life. It wasn't clear what his Grace was.
But the audience loved him. He couldn't tell at which age he and his parents knew but one night when the three of them were performing in a city in Estill, people flooded the room to see him. It appeared, word had spread about the Graceling actor.
At first they thought it was because of the story: It was one of the most popular stories about Queen Bitterblue who had refused to marry only nobility and who had brought revolution to many kingdoms.
Children, men, women, the old- everyone wanted to touch him. Some even cried when they met the boy.
They congratulated him on his performance. Much. He was kissed and hugged and overly paid and invited to drinks and meals and given offers to marry daughters, sisters and cousins. But they called him Sapphire. It was the character he had been playing.
And that was when it hit him: Acting. His Grace was acting. He had actually made people believe he was King Consort Sapphire Birch.
It quite made sense: His family had been living this life for ages. So long, that they couldn't even tell their kingdom of origin anymore. His parents had the look of Monseans: Tanned skin, black hair and grey eyes, but he seemed rather the Lienied type with his dark blond hair, the only exception his green eyes.
There had never been a Graceling in the family before. That night he felt like the Lord King he had pretended to be before.
His look came as an advantage when he became interested in girls, because the Lienied seemed to be rather popular among them. As soon as he could afford, he bought a few gold rings for his ears and fingers to create the perfect illusion. And during their time on the island kingdom he picked up their way of speaking. He was an actor after all and made his money pretending. So why not make use of it?
His attitude changed when he was seventeen and fell in love with a girl in Sunder. She was the most beautiful young woman he had ever seen. And that meant something since he had travelled nearly every kingdom and seen plenty of people and had slept with a good deal of them.
They met on a market in South Bay where she sold fish.
They were very happy for almost three months. Because then his family had to move on and he could neither stay, nor could she come with him. He would have married her, but her father was a rational man and didn't agree to the match. She was needed at home.
So he left broken hearted with the promise to write to her and to return one day with enough money for her father to allow the marriage.
One of this promises he kept. He wrote to her letters full of love and desire and she always wrote back. But they didn't stay in a city longer than a few months and only if they earned enough money. So that after seven months, her letters stopped coming. He said to himself that it was the distance and his uncertain location, but deep down he knew something was off.
Unfortunately, he could not leave his parents for he was their main attraction and source of income. They kept on travelling and he had seen every kingdom before he turned nineteen. Still, he never felt as alive again as he had when he had been with her.
After nearly two years they returned to northern Sunder coming from Wester and he secretly took a horse at night and began riding south. The only stops he made were when he would change horses and had a little sleep and ate and drank something so that he wouldn't fall off the horse's back.
It took him two weeks. He didn't know whether that was fast for this journey or not. When they travelled, only the destination was important, not the time they spent on the road.
In South Bay he knocked on the door of the biggest fishing boat that lay in the harbour, not caring that it was the middle of the night.
Her father, a tall and beefy man answered. When he recognised him, the expression of anger of being interrupted at night vanished and was replaced by sincere confusion.
„I am willing to work for you, " the young actor said, „so that your daughter can stay here. I saved enough money to contribute to your business. I still want to marry her, " he ended, hopeful.
The fisherman scratched the back of his head and replied „Well boy, you're too late. She's already happily married to a wealthy merchant. Didn't she tell you?"
His breathless answer was „No"
He left the docks, searching for the biggest house in the city and when he found it, he sat on a rock in front of it until at dawn, he could see them through a window on the second floor, kissing, laughing, and carrying a crying baby.
His heart broke a third time. He had intended on winning her back, but how could he destroy her luck if she was happy without him?
Hours later, she exited the house, the baby sleeping in her arms and froze when she saw him.
The young man stood and approached her.
„Hello, " he greeted her, watching the little human cradled against her chest.
„What are you doing here?" she asked.
He looked up to meet her eyes. She was genuinely surprised that he had returned.
„I promised to come back"
„You did. And I wrote to you that I would marry someone else"
„No you didn't. In your last letter you told me you were going to leave your family to 'finally be reunited with me'„
„That was the last letter you received from me? Something must've happened to the other two," she paused taking a deep breath „I wrote to you saying that I didn't love you anymore. I never meant to fall out of love with you, but the longer you were gone the more obvious it was that I didn't miss you. At all"
He swallowed hard. Had everything during their three month been a lie?
„I'm sorry," she continued „I know what I said before, but as soon as you weren't with me it felt like you had taken all my love with you. And I mean it literally"
His knees gave in and he sank to the ground. Could this be true?
„Listen, maybe you projected your Grace to me or something. Maybe I only acted as if I loved you. I don't mean to hurt you, but looking back, this is exactly how it feels. Maybe you need to experiment with your Grace, maybe it isn't acting"
The dirt on the pathway in front of her house caught his attention. It was impossible to look at anything else.
His hopes all for nothing? His Grace a lie? His future destroyed?
What was certain was that he wasn't going to ruin her life just because she'd ruined his.
„Do you love him?" he needed to know.
„More than I ever loved anyone else"
He nodded and got to his feet. „Good bye Kira"
Without turning back, he left her standing there with the child in her arms that would never be his.
Returning to the shore, he found a pub that was already opened and drained his sorrow in alcohol until nightfall.
Then he made his way up to the darkest street near the water where the smallest, dirtiest and most dubious ships lay and took a narrow, dimly lit street that was lined with women in short dresses and painted faces who lifted their skirts when he passed. They were relying on sailors who had been trapped on their boats without women for too long and who didn't care about looks or age as long as they actually got what they paid for.
He watched every single one of them, examining their mostly ugly faces and choosing a black haired woman probably twice his age.
„Want someone with experience little boy?" she asked in a way that he presumed should be seductive. She was thin, but far from pretty.
He handed her some coins that she counted and earned a wide smile. „Follow me sailor," she breathed in his ear taking his hand.
They entered the leaning old building she had stood in front of. The small wooden door revealed an even smaller staircase that was barely visible due to the lack of light. She climbed up first, pulling him after her. She didn't even want to know about his Grace.
The walls of the houses were extremely thin so that he could hear people in the adjoining buildings talking and well, moaning.
Upstairs were two rooms, one was audibly occupied. The woman led him to the one with the open door.
It contained only a bed with dirty sheets. She closed the door behind him and sat on the only furniture, her legs spread so that the much too short skirt revealed that she didn't wear any underwear.
Normally, this wouldn't have gotten to him, but he had been abstinent for almost two years and had just suffered heartache repeatedly and had had his dreams crushed. And he was drunk.
He undid his belt and removed his pants without further ado and walked towards the bed, grabbing her by the throat and pinning her down in one move.
She sat on the edge of the bed naked, grabbing her skirt. He could tell that she had been scared. Surely she hadn't expected this from him.
But he didn't care. He hadn't chosen this. From the shaking of her back, he knew that she was eager to get away from him. He extended an arm and stroked her skin. She shivered.
„This is not a hotel. Get out or pay more," she said trying to sound fearless. It was clear that she would prefer him leaving rather than having to suffer his temper again. But he started to become sober so that he said.
„I'd like to make an experiment"
The woman turned to him, furious. „You are disgusting. You couldn't pay me enough. Now get out!" She pointed towards the door, her bare chest moving heavily.
He didn't move, he lay on his back, watching the ceiling, listening to the noises of the street and asked „Would you like to fall in love?"
Her answer was a snort. „That's not something you can wish for," she said and turned away from him again to get dressed.
What had he done to Kira that she might have fallen for him even if she hadn't loved him? He remembered that he had confessed his feelings to her after only three days and had asked her to do the same, to actually say „I love you" to him.
Could this be it?
The woman was certainly not in love with him and never would be, because she was bitter, disappointed of life. But that was exactly what he needed. He had to be sure there was no possibility of her really loving him.
He sat up and leaned towards her. She had already dressed completely, so he pushed aside the collar of her shirt and began to kiss her neck very gently. He could feel her stiffen beneath his touch.
He took her by the waist and pulled her back onto the thin mattress, hugging her from behind while he continued to kiss her neck. She didn't fight him.
He turned her around so he could kiss her really and she soon threw her arms around him and pressed him down.
They hadn't kissed before, it wasn't something these women did, but he was sure that she wanted it, because he had kept thinking you love me, you love me, you love me, you love me.
After a while, they were still kissing and he didn't mind, because he pretended she was Kira and there was still a rest alcohol in his system, she started to finger at her clothes, eager to take them off.
„Wait," he said, breaking away from her, all of a sudden very sober. She was angry at him, for stopping and tucked at the cover that separated them, reaching beneath it and between his legs.
He took her hand, looked her in the eyes and asked „Don't I need to pay?" watching her closely.
It was a good question, because this way, she would give him what he needed to know voluntarily.
„No," she managed to say under her breath.
„Why not?" he asked.
Her eyes turned matt and she was close to crying when she answered „Because I love you"
Five years later
He never returned to his parents.
He was still known in the Seven Kingdoms. Known as the Consoler, the Lover or the Pleaser. Depending on the kingdom one considered. No one knew what his Grace, giving love, really was. Everyone gave it a different name. And usually, no one bothered looking for a term when he gave them what they wanted.
Only now, it were noble women who spoke of him highly. Lonely, desperate, rich women.
He offered them his services.
Giving them love. Literally.
He had shared the beds of nearly every bachelor or married wealthy Lady in the known world.
People had no idea how lonely women from nobility were when they either found no one they loved to marry or were married to men they didn't love or were already widowed. Sometimes, they only looked for the thrill that came with cheating or tried to gain their husband's attention back by making them jealous.
He was called to Monsea again. The staff gave him an old servant's room he had lived in several times before. It was in the basement and his employer's room on the third floor. Still, he could get there without being seen, as the Lady had shown him a secret staircase that led from his bathroom directly to her sitting room. To her, it was important no one knew the nature of their relationship and discretion was one of his best qualities. After all, his wages were accordingly.
In the late afternoon he climbed the old passage, having reached the wooden door at its end, knocked and when no one objected, entered.
The room wasn't lit at all, as always and the early winter sun was the only source of light. Everything appeared grey. Although he knew the tapestry consisted of red and gold and the bedsheets were rich black velvet.
A woman sat in front of a vanity across the room, trying to remove the clips from her hair. She was already dressed in her nightgown. Her fingers struggled with the delicate pins and failed to take them out.
With a few long strides he was behind her, gently taking her hands and lowering them into her lap. Then he removed the remaining metal clips so that her long dark hair fell on her neck in soft curls. It was streaked with silver highlights, the only indication of her age that was visible to those who only saw her dressed. But he knew better.
He knelt behind her chair and was still tall enough to kiss her neck in a way that gave her goose bumps. His hands massaged her shoulders through the light satin of her dressing gown, then slid down her arms until he reached her hands and interlaced their fingers.
A gasp escaped her mouth when he had suddenly put his arms around the back of her chair to cup her breasts in both his hands.
Stopping only to turn the chair around swiftly to meet her wanton eyes, he leaned towards her and kissed her passionately.
She took hold of his shirt, clinging to it and pressing herself to him and made an effort to get up. Without interrupting the kissing he followed her example and got to his feet. With more power than one would give such a small person credit for, she started pushing him backwards towards the bed.
When he felt the velvet layers of sheets at the back of his legs, he picked her up, always kissing her and spun around to sit her on the bed.
Her legs were tightly curled around his hips so that she pulled him on top of her when she leaned back on the mattress.
Their hands were tracing each other's bodies, touching especially the insides of the other one's thighs over and over.
His hands found the knot in the satin belt of her robe and started undoing it.
He was distracted when her tiny hands grabbed his bottom so desperately that he gave a sound of surprise. His thin hand stroked down her front from the spot between her aging breasts, down her belly and finally hid between her legs. His other hand fumbled with the tight knot to free her from her only clothing.
Her breathing picked up as he touched her teasingly, her head fell back, her hands clung to the sheet in ecstasy and she whined before she came.
Leaning down to kiss her hard, she slid her hands under the collar of his shirt leaving scratches on his back and showing him she wanted him to take off his shirt.
He gladly followed her command and she impatiently pulled his trousers over his butt. Greedily she reached for his best part and he laid on top of her with his full length, his pants fallen to the ground and took her around the waist to carry her further onto the bed.
Again, her legs had curled themselves around his hip, their sexes rubbing at each other. He couldn't help but groan into her ear.
He supported himself with one arm next to her and with the other slid under the small of her back to lift up her ass for better access.
He was inside her within seconds, their previous meetings having them left intimate enough to know the other's preferences.
Her feet stood bent and spread wide next to his and she let him take control completely.
They spent the first minutes in excited silence, listening to each other breathing heavily and now and then sighing into the other's mouth.
When he picked up the pace, watching her wrinkling face she whined with pleasure and called the name of the man she had loved. It didn't irritate him, for he knew how much she had loved him.
But when she climaxed and a moaned „Joy...," escaped her, he was surprised.
In the end, out of breath, he collapsed onto her and enjoyed her stroking his back and butt. He could tell, she wasn't finished for tonight.
It was always like that the first time he returned after months.
Later she was already asleep lying next to him in this regal bed that was normally too big for her alone. Outside, the moon shone bright and illuminated the room, still not giving it any colour.
Usually, he didn't like spending the night in an old women's bed, but she was special. Despite her age and her creases, he thought she was beautiful. And that while he actually preferred young girls he could trick into falling in love with him more easily. He would spend a few days or weeks with them, depending on when his next job was.
Over the years, he had discovered that his Grace worked best with young, shapeless minds or those that were completely and irreversibly damaged like the prostitute he'd tested it on first.
That was why it made him wonder how the seas he could influence this experienced and powerful woman.
Maybe, his conclusion was, she let it happen because she needed love so desperately. And he gave it to her with pleasure, in all senses of the word, because she was special. That was also why she was the only one whom he had told his real name.
He didn't say his name was Lasko, Amands, Daryl, Ben, Erasmus, Caner or Prem.
To this Queen he was simply Joy, the boy who had loved.
Later that night, just when he was about to fall asleep, she woke and came to him, crawling onto his body and began to move her hips in a manner that made it impossible for him to ignore. Groaning, he closed his arms around her tightly, not opening his eyes because she found his mouth to kiss.
An „I love you," escaped.