The words "I hate you!" were followed by a slap that left his ears ringing and his body spinning in the air. By the time Ataru had his bearings back, he saw his girlfriend - rather, ex-girlfriend - running away and leaving him standing on the bridge unable to do anything but call her name. He could pursue, he could catch up, but then she'd just slap him even harder and then he certainly wouldn't be able to keep up.

Given the choice he'd much rather watch her run away in those tight, tight shorts. He'd talk to her later when she was calmed down a bit, but for now why not appreciate the view? Shinobu may be difficult sometimes, but that body made up for it. Oh, did it ever make up for it! But soon enough that butt was out of sight and Ataru rested upon the side of the bridge in contemplation.

"Why'd she have to do that?" he wondered aloud before unknowingly answering his own question. "I only looked at that other girl for a second." Yep. Only looked for a second. Right down her blouse as she tied her shoes, making an instant mental snapshot of her rather wonderful cleavage for later. All while wearing a goofy perverted grin that broadcast what he was doing so loudly that it actually interfered with local television and radio signals.

Lack of self awareness, thy name is Ataru Moroboshi.

His musings were interrupted by a loud and desperate cry that immediately seized his attention. "Wait! Wait!" the voice yelled, "Don't do it!"

Ataru turned his head and saw a rather ugly little old man wearing a straw hat upon his head barrelling towards him at top speed and then suddenly the next thing he was seeing was the bridge above him as he fell into the cold, cold waters below.

The old man mumbled something that Ataru did not hear nor cared to. "What did you do that for?!" he yelled up, then thought better of it. He had greater priorities at the moment than yelling at some stupid old man. Like, getting out of the water before he caught a cold or drowned. This was easy enough to manage because Ataru was much more nimble than he first appeared. Before long he was ringing his sodden clothes by the riverside, as the old man blathered on.

"Come on, don't tell me you weren't going to jump!"

"You really think I'm going to kill myself because a girl left me?" though he had to admit to himself, he was entertaining thoughts on just how to kill this old man without getting caught.

"But I saw something strange in your aura!" the old man insisted. "It compelled me to run towards you, and -"

"Knock me off the bridge," Ataru finished. Enough of this. He'd had a bad enough day already without some crazy old man nattering on about auras and other assorted bullshit. His shirt was dry enough. Time to go home and figure out some way to talk Shinobu round

"Wait, don't leave yet! It's still there, in your aura! A most bizarre fate awaits you if you go that way!"

Enough was enough. Ataru bent down to get face to face with the little gnome, and yelled "That way is home!"

That shut the little freak up. Whatever. Ataru didn't believe in auras or anything like that. Evil spirits, aliens, demons, those were all the stuff of legends only believed by children and weak willed adults that had too poor an imagination to realise how wonderfully horrible life already was without believing in the supernatural. He had to stay in the real world if he wanted to figure out his problems, and he had absolutely no intention of letting some stupid old man dictate what he could or could not do.

Behind him, Cherry simply stared after him. "Such a fate," he mumbled. "His fortunes are about to change, but in ways I cannot tell." And so he resolved to follow this strange young man that jumped off bridges with the merest tap. In some way he knew that this was something he had to see with his own two eyes...

Dear Ataru
Your father and I will be out for a few hours tonight. There are leftovers in the fridge.
~Mom

Well, that's also just what he needed right now. Heated up leftovers. It didn't take him long to heat up, and it took less time for him to slurp the stuff down. Ugh! He was still hungry, dammit! Well, he'd be as well trying to salvage something out of this crappy day. Let's see, where did he keep Shinobu's phone number again? It had to be around here somewhere. This had to be enough time for her to calm down, right? Hope springs eternal, and all that.

Ah-ha! There it was! He slumped against the wall, hoping against hope that she'd pick up and listen to him. But in the meantime, he had to figure out exactly what he was going to -

"Hello?"

-say. Well, so much for that. Time to get to begging, and maybe she'll -

"You've reached the Goddess Technical Helpline!"

Oh, shit! He'd called the wrong number! Ataru started laughing helplessly. Couldn't even this much go right? It was almost comical at this point. At this rate he'd wake up tomorrow with a cold, and -

"We will be there in just a moment to grant your access request," the voice at the other end said, and then the line went dead. Ataru stared at the phone in confusion. What on earth was that? A goddess technical help line? Must be for some weird product or other that he's never -

"Good evening! What is your desire?" asked the pretty girl leaning out of his mirror right above his head and oh god those leftovers must have been off and I'm dying and this is the hallucination my mind is using to distract me while it shuts down oh shit I shouldn't have realised that because now I'll become aware of the crippling pain my body is in and - "Forgive me for not introducing myself," the hallucination said as she dusted herself down. "I am the Goddess Belldandy."

Ataru sat in silence as Belldandy explained herself. Apparently she was here to grant him one single wish, but right now his thoughts were centred elsewhere. For a hallucination, this girl was hot hot HOT! What immediately draws attention at first were the markings on her face. One vertical line on her forehead, and a smaller mark under each eye. More to his interest were the clothes she was wearing. It was some sort of shoulderless dress that managed to hide most of her figure yet made her all the more alluring for it. Ataru could almost believe that this was a goddess would really look like. So serene, yet so sexy! So innocent and pure and yet so supernaturally desirable!

"Hello, my name is Ataru! Welcome to my home, can I get you anything? A cup of tea, maybe you'd like to sit down, ah! Maybe you'd like to get a nice massage!"

Belldandy giggled. "No thank you," she said. "I am not here to be your guest or ask anything from you. Rather, you may wish for anything at all and I shall grant it for you," Belldandy finished. "If you wanted to be a billionaire, we can take care of it. We would even end the world if you asked, but we tend to avoid that sort of customer for obvious reasons. But remember, you only get one wish."

Any wish he wanted? Well, that's a pretty good dream to go with if nothing else! Especially with a hottie like this. Oh yes, Ataru could easily imagine it now. One wish later, her reclining on a bed clad in any of a dozen wonderful lingerie designs. Though she is silent, her eyes say come hither, and then - Or perhaps they could be at a beach, where they can play and frolic in the sand. But then she asks him, could you rub some lotion on my back, and then I'll do the same for you? Ah! But they both get a little friskier than they originally intended, which said quite a lot given where they started from. And then -

"Um, I'm sorry to interrupt, but you did notice earlier that I could read your thoughts. I apologise for the intrusion. Would you prefer me to stop reading your mind?" Oh, but that was just too adorable, she was blushing, and staring pointedly at the ground. "This is most unusual. However did someone so lustful get granted an opportunity for a wish?" she pondered for a moment. Honestly, it was a question Ataru was wondering about as well... But more to the point, he was starting to speculate on just what her sizes were. "Ah! please sir, this decision would go much easier for you if you weren't staring at my breasts like that."

"Oh, I think you're wrong there miss Belldandy! I know exactly what I want to wish for!" Ataru's face split open with a lecherous grin. He couldn't imagine wishing for anything else. "I wish you'd be in my harem!" Ataru voiced his deepest, most pure desire.

Well, OK, not "pure." But it sure was a desire.

"Huh?" Belldandy said, "I'm sorry, could you run that by me again?" That didn't sound right. A harem…?

"I thought it was clear. I wish that you'd be in my harem!" Ataru said, his eyes running up and down the goddess's figure.

"Oh, well, um, that's… I don't know if that's a legitimate wis-"

That's when a pillar of light came down from Heaven over the two. Belldandy felt her magic access the System. It was.. The wish was being granted!

What?

"Oh my godddddddddddddd it's beautiful!" Ataru shouted as the light faded. "Come here sweetheart!" He leaped to embrace his new harem girl.

"Huh? Wait you…" Belldandy was surprised. Ataru was hugging her. Which was weird because normally her automated defense spells would stop a mortal from grabbing at her. Also, him hugging her felt... pleasant? Which was surprising. His arms felt comfortable around her. "And… what am I wearing!?"

A light blue bikini top, with a matching pair of, well, translucent harem pants and silk slippers. She really did look like a member of a harem now!

Then the data on the wish flashed into her mind.

Ataru Moroboshi had been granted his wish. His wish was to have Belldandy, Goddess First Class Type 2 Unlimited, as a member of his harem. However, he did not have a harem in the present time. This meant that the wish had two parts. Belldandy was to be a member of his harem. "Harem" was defined by the wisher as "a large scale polyamorous relationship with multiple individuals focused romantically and/or sexually on a single person." So Belldandy would not only be in a such a relationship with Ataru… she would have to help Ataru convince other women (or men, who knew if he swung that way yet? Sexual orientation wasn't included in the info given to her) to also be in such a relationship.

And the Ultimate Force would be helping enforce this. The ultimate underpinnings that control reality being used for basically an eternal loop of "booty calls" was… well it wasn't quite the least dignified wish granted in history, but it was up there.

And… that's when Belldandy realized that the system might have screwed up, just a little… Ataru had never defined the size of the harem. So until he was happy with his harem size she'd just have keep helping him increase it!

"Um, Ataru…?" She decided that if he was going to be her.. boyfriend(?) from now one she could be a little less formal. "Um… what now?"

"Huh?" Ataru looked up into her eyes. "Err…"

"You're, um, getting your harem now. Just me thus far, but I shall assist you in… um… convincing others to join our… relationship." Belldandy could not lie. It was not possible for her to do so as a Goddess First Class. As such the thought of trying to make his wish seem more limited did not even enter her mind. "Until you're satisfied."

"Oh that's wonderful! Thank you Belldandy!" He hugged her tighter, his head burying between her breasts. "After all these years of rotten luck… finally something good in my life!"

Luck? Oh.. oh my. Belldandy had been so shocked by the wish she had missed it. But this boy had perhaps the worst luck she had ever felt in, well, anything! It was like reality was just keeping the dice up at 1 for every single roll he made! "So, what do you wish to do now?"

Was he going to kiss her? Have her perform some sexual task? Straight up coitus?

"Huh? Now?" Ataru looked thoughtful, "Um… we could cuddle?"

Well that's not quite what she was expecting. Still, "Cuddling sounds nice!" Down onto the futon they went, Ataru snuggling up against her chest and Belldandy wrapping her own arms around him.

Ok, maybe this wouldn't be quite as stressful as previously thought.

The number one question most people wish to ask Shinobu Miyake is a simple one.

"Why Ataru?" The answer to this is complicated.

There's the issue of familiarity. Shinobu had known Ataru all her life, and Shinobu had always imagined him as being part of her life. When they were younger they had often played "House" with her as the wife of course. That had stopped once Ataru had gotten old enough to want to play "Doctor" to go with it.

Part of it was that thanks to that familiarity she saw sides of Ataru few others did. She saw the empathetic, determined, and generous man that existed under the exterior of the perverted boy.

Which is why she was heading down to his house to apologize.

"Hmmm such power in the air."

While being followed by a creepy old monk.

"Sir, why are you following me?" Shinobu finally asked him.

"Hmm?" Cherry said, "Oh I'm not following you Miss. We're just going in the same direction at the moment."

Right then, in that case maybe she could afford to go a little faster!

"Oh dear the power emanating… I must make haste!"

Except the monk just matched her speed! Why?

"I'm still not following you, I'm going faster because what I feel is alarming!"

Oh wow what an amazing coincidence Shinobu was feeling pretty alarmed now too! For the first time in history someone was hurrying towards Ataru Moroboshi with the intention of ducking a pervert!

"Hello? Ataru? Mrs. Moroboshi?" Shinobu was always welcome so she just opened the door.

"Hmmm so this is the place." Cherry stepped into the house too. "The air is thick with… a strange power."

"You're still following me!?" Shinobu shrieked. Why was she having such terrible luck! That was Ataru's job!

"Silent!" The monk held up his hand, "Can you not feel it? The pressure in the air, even one without spiritual senses could be able to detect something. It is unnatural, it is spine tingling, it is not of this world!" He took a bite of an apple that had been sitting on the counter. "Whatever's here… it could change the world!" He pulled a bottle of milk out of the fridge and drank it with some cookies.

Whatever. Ataru could deal with the food thief. She just needed to find him. The building was eerily silent. Usually she'd be able to hear the TV, or conversation, or even something as simple as Mrs. Moroboshi wishing Ataru had never been born. But now the entire house was silent.

"Anybody home?" Shinobu asked, finding herself sneaking through the house. The monk eating a bag of chips behind her. "Ataru?" She reached his door, "Ataru?" She knocked, "I'm sorry for getting mad at you earlier I just wismmmmmgggh." Cherry slapped his hand over her mouth.

"Do not say that word here!" Cherry said, "I fear it may result in untold consequences!"

Shinobu tried to kick the old monk but he was already at the door, pushing it open.

The lights were off, and Shinobu could hear the faint sound of Ataru snoring. He was asleep? It seemed a little early. That's when Cherry flipped on the lights.

Ataru was not alone.

"Hmmm…" She sat up, and Shinobu knew that she should be mad. She really should start screaming. Because a woman in what was clearly a harem girl outfit sleeping next to her boyfriend was something worth getting mad about!

But… but she couldn't! She couldn't find herself capable of getting mad at her! Even wearing that skimpy outfit she had this intense aura of purity that almost her eyes water. She was beautiful! The most beautiful woman Shinobu had ever seen, her gentle smile and kind eyes just seemed to cause any negative emotions to fade away. "Oh my god…" Shinobu whispered.

"God is right!" Cherry shouted and was on his hands and knees, "This woman… no mere mortal. No mere spirit… a divine being. A Goddess!"

"Huh?" Shinobu said, "A goddess?"

"You have good senses Mr. Monk." The goddess said, "I am Belldandy, Goddess First Class Type 2 Unlimited."

"What?" Shinobu said, "What kind of name is that?"

Belldandy frowned, "Well, to tell the truth it's simply a transliteration of my original name to your language, it'd be more accurately pronounced as 'Verdandi' but it's easier to pronounce it as 'Belldandy' wouldn't you say?"

"Err… yeah I guess so." Shinobu said, "B-but if you are a goddess what are you doing with my boyfriend!"

"You're Ataru's girlfriend?" Belldandy's smile brightened, "That's wonderful! That means his harem has two members now!"

Both Cherry and Shinobu stared at her. "Err.. what?" Cherry said, stolen carrots falling out of his hat.

Suddenly a puff of smoke surrounded Shinobu, and when the smoke cleared she was wearing a pink outfit identical to Belldandy's.

"You know, the Ultimate Force is usually more subtle." Belldandy said. "I was expecting the Priest to spill something on your clothes and make you have to change."

"So… Honored Deity. You're saying that Heaven will randomly grant mortals wishes?" Cherry asked.

"Well, it's not random. We select through rigorous parameters. Rest assured that anybody who qualifies for a wish wouldn't misuse it."

"I think this qualifies as misuse!" Shinobu pulled at her new top.

"I don't know, you seem to be using them quite well!" Ataru grinned. Then ate an elbow to the face. It didn't stop his good mood or slow it down in the least bit. "Aw don't be like that Shinobu! This is a great day!" He jumped into the air, doing a swan dive towards her chest! "Love and peace for every-" Ataru's face hit the floor. Again, this did not seem to affect him.

"I feel like this is the happiest he has ever been." Belldandy said.

"Why wouldn't I be? I have Shinobu and a goddess in my harem!" Ataru cheered.

"Oh that is enough!" Shinobu shouted, pinning Ataru to the ground, "Hold still for a bit!" Of course, the method she used to pin him down leaved a bit to be desired. Namely she sat down on his lap. Cherry raised an eyebrow, and Ataru just smirked and wrapped his arms around her waist, looking fairly comfortable with Shinobu in his lap wearing skimpy clothing.

"OK I'll be good." He said.

"I think she just gave him what she wanted." Cherry whispered to Belldandy.

"What if I don't want to be in a harem!" Shinobu began the protest again.

"But my wish…" Ataru said.

"Yeah what's up with this wish!?" Shinobu said.

"Isn't it obvious? After all my suffering Heaven gave me what I really wanted." Ataru said.

Belldandy cleared her throat, "Well it's like Ataru said. The Yggdrasil system decided that Ataru had earned a wish, and approved the wish."

"But what does him getting a harem mean?" Shinobu said, "It can't just be Ataru looking at a girl and going poof she's his haremette now!"

"Oh no. Free Will can not be overridden. What will happen is the Ultimate Force will guide us towards finding individuals willing to be in in this relationship, as well as keep us together." Belldandy said.

"Honored Deity, what's this 'Ultimate Force' you speak of?" Cherry said, now opening up a can of soda.

"It's the power exerted by Yggdrasil to grant the wish. The more forces that try to keep the wish from being granted the greater pressure put down to grant it." Belldandy frowned, "Are any of you familiar with the story of Sodom?"

"Hmm from the Western Bible?" Cherry said. "A city of wicked men destroyed by God through their greed and selfishness."

"Yes, well, that's the sort of thing that happens if the Ultimate Force is denied repeatedly." Belldandy laughed off, "Of course no way Ataru could bring about the end of the world! I just used that example to show how serious the Ultimate Force is."

"Well when will his wish be granted?" Shinobu said.

"Hmm… it was kind of open. I guess we'll be in Ataru's harem the rest of his life? And there isn't any limit on the size so I guess it will just keep growing until Ataru's satisfied."

"It's going to shrink soon if I have anything… to… say…" Shinobu trailed off, a sudden dark feeling of foreboding coming over her, the air becoming thick with a strange tension.

"I wouldn't try and leave girl, you might turn into a pillar of salt." Cherry said.

"I can leave if I want!" Shinobu said, "I… I just don't want to leave! I'm sure I'll find some loophole to stop this dumb harem wish so it can just be me and Ataru!"

"Hehehehehehe" Ataru chuckled, his hands sliding up Shinobu's exposed midriff, before she smacked them down again. " Just you? Now that I've had a taste of heaven I'll never have enough women in my harem!"

Oh Good Lord. Ataru now had divine providence giving him the right to chase girls? Shinobu wasn't sure that Belldandy was right about this not leading to the end of humanity. She couldn't think of anything else in the future that could possibly doom it.

Elsewhere, a crowd of people watched in slack jawed awe as a UFO descended from the sky. The bridge descended, and out walked the alien captain. A large, brutish man with tusks and horns. With much a much more normal looking teenage girl if you discounted the whole floating in a tiger stripe bikini thing. The man pulled out a megaphone and began shouting.

"A-hem. Testing, testing one two three. People of Earth! The Oni have come to take this world into our Empire! In the interest of fairness we have randomly selected a champion to compete with our own. If he wins, then we will spare your planet." He withdew the photograph and name from his pocket, examining it closely. "Now then… uh… can somebody tell me where this 'Ataru Moroboshi' fellow lives?"