I Have Herpes!
Story of Winnie the Pooh
The short and stout little bear woke up one morning to go to the restroom, he pulls back his flab to reveal the most disgusting of disorders. Oh bother! I must get this checked out, Owl will know what to do.
"Pooh, what is the meaning of this unexpected visit?"
"I have a slight problem with my no no place, I suspect it has to do with my honey fetish."
"That is too much information Pooh, put this ointment on it and leave at once."
Oh man what will Chris do when I tell him, thought Pooh," surely I'll be punished. "I can't take any more lashings!" he yelled.
Piglet overheard him and said to himself, "surely he must be talking about his private swingers group."
"Oh Pooh!" Piglet hollered.
"Yes Piglet, do you want some honey?"
"No not right now, I was just wondering if you could tone it down tonight."
With an evil grin Pooh looked down and rasped out, "We will try."
"Aah, Ack …. Too much honey Chris!" Pooh yelled, "I need less sticky." Everything was spiraling out of control from honey to whip back and forth, Pooh could barely hold on to the very essence of life, but just before Pooh's certain heart attack, he heard Eeyore knocking on the door. "Oh Bother!" Pooh gasped out, "I have to go it's my five o'clock appointment."
"I'm glad you could fit me in Pooh, my depression was really hitting me today."
"That's okay I am here to make that all better," Pooh replied.
Eeyore had to assert his dominance this night to make everything go just right. He began with the honey just as Chris had done only moments ago. Next came the honey pot, a feat that had never been conquered before, a pain no one could imagine. With that all happening Pooh is writhing in pain while searching for his ointment to soothe his agony. Lastly was the final act of Eeyore's mind, The Rope.
"This noose is too loose, THIS noose is too tight. But this one right here? This noose is juuuust right," Eeyore says as Pooh's last breaths are heard.