Disclaimer: All characters belong to S. Meyer , title belongs to Vanessa Carlton.
"Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and think it was all a bad dream…"
She snorted at him, "Until what, you see the giant paws instead of hands or realize that burning smell is your own flesh?"
He rolled his eyes and ignored her sarcasm. He kept reminding himself that it was just a defense mechanism. She really did care somewhere down there. Down deep.
At least he hoped so.
"Funny… God, I just wish it was easier." He sighed and put his head in his hands. She reached over and pulled his hands off and held them in her own.
He looked over at her but she was looking out at the water. He studied her features, the beautiful honey skin, warm brown eyes and eyelashes that never seemed to end. His exploration ended on her mouth, those two bow lips that could get him so pissed off and then just as quickly make him forget his own name.
"Fuck!" he cursed. "What did I do to deserve this? What did either of us do?"
She let out a small laugh, and he secretly wondered if it was one of those instances where you laugh to keep from crying.
"C'mon Jake, we both knew this was coming. We agreed that when she got older and more…suitable for you, we would end this. Whatever this is."
He growled and pulled his hands out of hers. "Why are you so fucking calm?" He stood and started pacing. "Can't you just scream at me or something. Tell me I was an idiot for starting something I couldn't finish. Or that I was a fool or an asshole or something! Just anything. I deserve it. Blame me for breaking your heart."
She laughed again and he stopped pacing to face her.
"Am I… breaking your heart?" he asked hesitantly. For some reason, imprint or no imprint, he wasn't sure he could survive if her answer was no. And she seemed to notice his distress because she stood up and went to him.
"Oh Jacob," she sighed and gently placed both hands on either side of his face, which was an anomaly in itself because Leah Clearwater was never gentle. "If you only knew how much it's killing me to let you go." She paused and he could see the unshed tears shining in her gorgeous eyes. At that moment she entranced him. "You own my heart completely, so yes, I guess it is yours to break."
"Leah…" he murmured while wrapping both of his strong arms around her. Neither wanted to think that this might be the last time they were together like this. "You know I don't love her right? You know it's just some voodoo curse and it's not my choice. It was never my choice…if I could choose," he swallowed and tried to calm his shaking voice. "If I could choose it would be you. It would always be you."
"I know, baby." She kissed his lips and his hands grasped her tighter. "I know."
He leaned his forehead down to rest against hers and they both held their eyes shut tight against the world outside, the world that had cruelly demanded they exist apart.
"Just ask me to stay." He whispered. "All you have to do is ask, I'd do it. Please."
She kissed him again, this time a little rougher and she couldn't decide if it was to silence his hopeful words because all she really wanted was to be with him and all that really mattered in her life was the man standing in front of her begging to be with her.
"Shh, don't say that. It's not our place. It's not what fate had in store for us." She reminded him, even though neither of them needed reminded.
"What right does anyone have to tell us where our place is? What right does fate have to keep us apart?"
"Jake I won't let you keep fighting, I won't let you be miserable because of m-"
"I love you!" he yelled, cutting her off. "Don't you get it? I love you! I love you because I can, and because you don't keep me on a leash and you don't take away my choices! And you're a little crazy but I don't care because obviously I'm crazy too!" He stopped yelling and turned away from her then desperately whispered, "Please…please, just let me love you."
She couldn't bear the tears streaming down his face or the way his voice sounded so broken. He was her alpha, her leader, and he should be strong. Confident. Happy. Not this shell of a man who couldn't keep his voice from cracking.
And then she realized that he was strong, he was confident, and he was happy. But only because she made him those things. Just as he made her rational and sane. He grounder her just as she lifted him.
Alpha and Beta. Who's to say they weren't what fate had intended?
Or rather, just fuck fate and go with what you feel.
They completed each other, and even though it started as a fling and a way for the two to relieve some tension, it turned into so much more.
She loved him, she was willing to let him go if she thought it was ultimately what would make him happy.
But it wasn't.
"Stay." She whispered so low he thought at first that he had imagined it.
He turned to her and saw her eyes were directed at the floor because even now she was insecure of his feelings for her. She was completely vulnerable to him and she was petrified.
"Jake, just…stay."
And he crossed the short distance to her in barely two strides and this time it was her face in his hands.
"Leah, babe I-"
"I want you to be happy-" she rushed.
"I am happy!" he cut her off.
"I know! I know… I think I just realized that." She smiled at him through her tears and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Leah I will never be as happy as I am with you." He kissed her forehead. "And if you don't believe me then I will prove it to you for the rest of our lives or the rest of forever." He kissed her eyelids. "I won't leave you…" he whispered as he kissed her nose. "I can't leave you." He kissed both cheeks and then brushed his mouth against her lips. "I can't live without you." And then he crushed his mouth to hers and they both tasted the salt of not quite wasted tears. For the first time in both their lives they didn't feel the need to hide, and it was okay to have cried; they had almost lost each other.
