The Ultimate Filler
The Ultimate Filler
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! Or like…anything else. TT
Summary: For nearly two years, Sasuke, Orochimaru, and Kabuto lived together. Who cooked and cleaned for them? Inoue Hiroku. Who looked after them and gave them massages? Inoue Hiroku. What became of this woman? Well, isn't that a tale to tell…
A/N: Some of you may recognize Hiroku from my other story, Emo Farm. Yes, she's the self same OC, with a few appearance tweaks. For all you new comers, fear not, you don't need to read Emo Farm to get to know her.
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She approached the Uchiha brazenly, unafraid of him or his power of his almighty, overrated sharingan.
"Hi!" she said.
Sasuke regarded her coldly. He couldn't detect any remarkable chakra to speak of—she wasn't a shinobi. Just another village bumpkin wanting to flirt, then. He turned away. A hand on his shoulder caused him to clench his muscles.
"Take me home."
He wheeled around to kill her, or at least severely maim the twit, but stopped in surprise as she laughed. "That sounded wrong! I'm sorry, I mean, take me Oro-chan. I know you're his apprentice, I've watched you train."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because I asked nicely, and it would annoy Kabuto-san."
He supposed he should be wary—she knew their names, she'd seen them train, to believe her claim. But the idea of this chakra-less girl doing him harm was beyond ludicrous.
Besides, it did annoy Kabuto when he brought vagabonds home, demanding they be fed…which he'd been doing less and less of late, he realized…and wait…she's called Orochimaru Oro-chan. Even Sasuke knew better. So if she wasn't entertaining, she'd be gotten rid of.
He let a faint smirk creep across his lips, the kind that turned kunoichi hearts into warm puddles of goo.
She beamed back at him with the brilliance of a hundred stars.
"Okay, let's go."
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Kabuto stared at the girl sitting across him. She had slate colored eyes, and dark green hair bound in a thick braid, ending past her thigh.
"Sasuke-kun…" he said slowly, "What am I supposed to do with this creature?"
"I'unno," Sasuke shrugged.
Kabuto sighed. "What do you want, girl?"
"I want to stay here. Earn my livelihood."
Even Sasuke looked taken aback.
"What kind of shinobi are you?" Kabuto asked, knowing perfectly well that she wasn't one.
"I'm not. Not a shinobi, jinchuuriki, assassin, stalker, spy or any kind. I am a runaway concubine of the Emperor, but rest assured that there is no one following me. I have no special talents, unless you count the fact that I can arrange flowers in any manner you like."
Kabuto sighed again. "Then we have no use for you here. Get lost, please."
"That doesn't mean I'm not useful," she protested, "I can cook, I can clean, I was not always a palace lady! Who cooks for you? Who does your laundry? I can do the menial chores!"
Tempting though it was, the medic boy genius didn't let her stay. She was unceremoniously thrown out. Sasuke gave a 'well-I-wasn't-really-expecting-anything-else' kind of shrug and went back to his room. Kabuto went back to his work. Orochimaru remained blissfully unaware that there lived a being who called him 'Oro-chan'.
Outside the snake's den, the girl curled up and waited.
Three days later, Orochimaru walked out with his apprentice and doctor…
"Oro-chan!!" he looked down, stunned. A very dusty little girl was hugging his midriff tightly, her face barely making it far enough north from his crotch to not be indecent.
He looked back to Kabuto for an explanation. Sasuke seemed to be stifling a smile.
"She…we kicked her out three days ago, Orochimaru-sama, I did not know she was out here."
"She knows about us," Sasuke said. No doubt, he was definitely smothering a smirk. The legendary Sannin remembered why. The girl had called him Oro-chan.
"What do you want?" he asked her. She stood up, and he realized she'd been kneeling, so really she wasn't a little girl, perhaps a few years older than Sasuke?
"I wanted to live here, and earn my living, but Kabuto-san threw me out," she said mournfully with the air of a two year old that's had her ice cream snatched away, "And I was so careful to watch my words! Oh let me stay, please, I'll try my hardest to be useful and not get in your way!"
"She has no special abilities," Kabuto began, but Orochimaru silenced him with a glance.
"That she was out here for any length of time without attracting attention is itself a special ability. She may be a useful spy. If not, she can at least be a maid, or do you enjoy doing our laundry so much that you don't wish to share the responsibility?"
Kabuto flushed. Orochimaru turned back to the girl.
"What is your name?"
"Inoue Hiroku!"
"You may be bedded by us," he warned, "And by us, I mean me. Sasuke's far too caught up in his desire for revenge, and Kabuto's too much of a prude." She shrugged nonchalantly. "It's my body, not my soul."
He laughed. "Kabuto, stay back today. Delegate her chores to her. Give her a room." He placed a pale finger on her sickly grey cheek, and grey eyes met golden ones. "You're nothing special," he decided, "But you will do."
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She didn't shut up. Kabuto was ready to gauge out his own liver and stuff it in her mouth as a gag. God, what was she talking about? He didn't even pretend to listen, but the uneven nuances of her voice did not escape his ears.
"And this is your room," he showed her. She paused in her chatter to scan the room.
"Alright! Now, I'll start my duties as a member of the Oro-chan clan!" she said delightedly, punching the air. Kabuto rolled his eyes and pushed his glasses up his nose.
"Lead the way to the kitchen then, let's see if you remember," he instructed. With generous hints from the spectacled boy, they made it to the culinary space.
"Wash the dishes and prepare lunch," he commanded, "I will watch." He brought out some paper and started scribbling as she attacked the dirty utensils with all the youthfulness Maito Gai claimed to possess.
Kabuto blinked and looked up when his brain registered despairingly that she was still talking, and that something smelled hella good.
"Yakisoba!" she declared proudly, setting a bowl of the deep fried Chinese noodles in front of him.
"I can see that," Kabuto said wryly, picking up his chopsticks. She waited expectantly.
"What?"
Hiroku frowned. "How is it?" she prompted.
"Oh. Um…okay, I guess."
Looking a little disappointed, she turned to the door.
"Where are you going?" he called, grabbing up his things to follow her.
"The room with the laundry," she answered, "It's okay, you can eat, I'll find it."
"Uh, no," he said, "I go with you. We don't trust you yet, obviously, and I don't think you'll ever find the place without help."
So she picked up his bowl and they walked to the laundry room where Kabuto ate and worked and occasionally listened to her never-ceasing words as she washed the clothes with an oppressive sort of cheer.
Sasuke and Orochimaru came back towards late afternoon, by which time Kabuto had developed a detached sort of liking towards Hiroku. No matter how unlikely, she was just one of those people you couldn't help but tolerate.
The master-apprentice duo ate their meal without comment, though the greenette bounced on the balls of her feet with barely contained energy. Sasuke noted that in her simple orange kimono, with that green hair, she looked remarkably like a carrot.
As they left again to train, however, the question burst out of her. "How was it?"
Orochimaru paused. He turned to her, gold eyes meeting gray once more, and conceded, "Better than the monotony of rice."
Hiroku beamed as though she'd been appointed Supreme Pontiff Over All Things Living and Dead.
They returned a few hours later, Orochimaru in a foul mood, Sasuke bruised all over. Kabuto knew the training had gone badly; he stayed well out their way. But before Orochimaru could storm into his quarters, before Kabuto could flee to his lab, before Sasuke could throw a class-A teen tantrum in his room, Hiroku marched to the Uchiha, a broad grin on her face.
"Would Sasuke-kun like a massage?"
Orochimaru halted. Kabuto held his breath. Sasuke lifted weary, bloodshot eyes to her sparkling gray ones.
And nodded once.
She followed him to his rooms, where she stripped him (preserving his dignity by offering him a towel at the last moment). He slipped off his underwear, wrapped the towel around his waist, and belly flopped onto his divan.
She sat astride his buttocks, her large hands kneading his back, rolling her thumbs deep into his muscles to clear up knots, proceeding with a mother's tenderness around a bruise. She spent the better part of thirty minutes on his shoulders alone, working obstinately until he grudgingly relaxed them. She avoided the curse seal, and when she started on his neck he gave an involuntary twitch. Hiroku stopped, and started again after a brief pause, gently.
Slowly, surely, the pain began to numb and recede from Sasuke's back, retreating to his throbbing calves and feet. Hiroku scooted backwards until she was off his body, poising herself at the edge of the divan, his feet at her knees. She rubbed his arches and soothed his toes and softened his heels. She worked on his calves until the pain fled almost completely. When he began to drift off into a blissfully dreamless sleep, she slipped out of his room. Luckily, she'd made dinner before they'd returned.
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"What's her story?" Orochimaru asked his trusted assistant. Kabuto frowned, surprised that he knew. He knew her story…apparently he'd been listening to her rather more than he'd intended.
"She's a runaway concubine. Born in the town of Naruto, she was raised as a baker's granddaughter for seven years before she was taken away by the emperor's men. The emperor liked her eyes and her hair, so he kept her. She wasn't a favorite of his, but she liked her life, she had many friends of the court—not least of which were her fellow concubines. However, the emperor became less and less enchanted with her. Something happened—his favorite queen spread rumors that Hiroku was sleeping with his prime minister, I think. The emperor was going to have her beheaded, so she faked her death and got away with the help of her friends."
Orochimaru nodded, and then shot a look towards the door. "You're trying to hide?" he laughed. Hiroku slunk in, a sheepish grin on her face. "My bad?" she chuckled nervously.
Kabuto shook his head and made a vague gesture. She served them food; they ate and left. She rinsed the dishes so that they wouldn't go crusty, and found her room by sheer luck. She was asleep before she crawled into bed, glowing warmth surrounding her heart, the happiness of having earned her life today, having served instead of being served.
Inoue Hiroku, the Emperor's runaway concubine, dreamt happy dreams that night.
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My favorite OC, Hiroku is. She's just awesome. –cuddles up to her- Hiroku! Don't worry, Sasuke/Orochimaru/Kabuto fans, she won't fall in love with them. There will be sex…I can't resist, but there won't be lemons (sorry for the disappointment) but I assure you, Orochimaru will remain delightfully wicked. There will be no 'reformed by love' nonsense here. –nods approvingly-