Rhoam Bosphoramus Hyrule had got used to doing as he pleased over the course of the century after he died. There were perks to being a rather physical ghost: being able to use a paraglider and eat, for two. The back pains were a nuisance (why did he have to be an elderly ghost?), but the free time was worth it.
Of course, he wasn't oblivious to the state of Calamity-era Hyrule. But after suffering so much tragedy to the point of death, he figured he and his blood pressure (if he still had that) could use some relaxing while he waited around for the Shrine of Resurrection to finish its job.
At first he would fly his paraglider all across Hyrule, do the exploring he never had time for while alive. But he couldn't walk so far as he used to, and sleeping on the hard ground did nothing for his back, so he had to take it easy after a few decades. Before he did, however, he was sure to have some nice chats with old friends, including Robbie, Impa, and King Dorephan.
One of his favorite hobbies was jumping off the Great Plateau and gliding down, but the return climb always seemed to leave a kink in his back, so after a while he simply settled down, not too far from the Shrine, and tried to figure out what retired kings did with their leisure. Then he would remember that he could transport himself in a puff of flame and wonder why he bothered moving anywhere.
~.*.*.*.~
The first thing the filthy boy did when he finally awoke was to touch Rhoam's lovely baked apple.
"I BEG YOUR PARDON! I do believe that is my baked apple. You can't just go about taking whatever you please!" the old man boomed. It seemed he would also have to teach Link manners. Seeing his wide-eyed face, though, Rhoam laughed. "Oho ho! Forgive me—I could not resist pulling your leg."
He could not help but be a little miffed, but it reminded him of the nostalgia, irritation, and regret he felt for his daughter's childhood mischief.
~.*.*.*.~
The old man knew he was the right person to welcome Link to the world. Besides the fact that there weren't many other options, Rhoam knew he had the commanding presence, the sense of humor, and the paragliding finesse to properly instruct Link in the best way.
In fact, Rhoam decided to take a moment to display his fancy paragliding skills when Link climbed down from the newly activated Sheikah Tower. He landed a little less gracefully than he would have liked, but there was little he could do about his girth.
Who are you? Link signed, making no remark on his entrance.
"I am a magical old fool who brings gifts to good little children. Can't you tell by my magnificent, marshmallowy beard and the twinkle in my eye?"
The boy squinted at his face, trying to see under the hood.
"Nevermind, I could not help pulling your leg, but it seems your memory loss has affected your ability to comprehend my fatherly jests."
Banter unfortunately over, Rhoam did his duty and explained a bit of the situation to Link. "If you want to get down from the Great Plateau and start saving the world already, you had better forget about jumping. Of course, if you had a paraglider like mine…"
It was too bad the boy didn't have one. They were quite a lot of fun. Perhaps even his sole source of pleasure beyond cooking, though he was hard pressed to remember many recipes beyond baked apples.
Hand it over, the boy signed.
Ah well, he was old and dead anyhow, and he did have quite a few decades taking a turn at it. Besides, maybe there were other things to enjoy. His cabin was quite cozy, though he did tend to bump his head on the doorway. It made him remember how he used to like camping when he was alive. He wished he had taken his daughter out more when she was young, even though she complained about being away from her books.
"Worry not—I will happily agree to give you my paraglider. But not for nothing," he said. "Let's see now… How about I trade it for a bit of treasure that slumbers nearby?"
~.*.*.*.~
Rhoam decided to impressively fly over to the shrine when Link appeared from it. And so, as the boy busied himself learning how to use a Sheikah Slate for the first time, Rhoam began to climb the Sheikah Tower. He had gone halfway up when he stopped to rest and stretch his aching back. Was he always so ungainly? Then he remembered with annoyance that he could teleport with the blue flames. And so, with just enough time before Link reappeared, Rhoam did just that, swooping down to meet him with an "oho!" Whether his landing was any more praiseworthy than the last one was debatable, but nevermind.
"It seems you got your hands on a Spirit Orb. Well done!" he said.
How did you know?! the boy signed, still neglecting to remark on his entrance.
"I'm a parent, I have x-ray vision of course," he said. He sighed. "You didn't even get that one, did you?"
The boy just stared back at him.
"My daughter used to believe it. Tell you what, if you do ever get down from this plateau and, I don't know, become a parent, hopefully a long time from now, keep that one in mind. I told my daughter that's how I knew when she had eaten my baked apples. Scared her from eating them for a year."
Paraglider, please? the boy signed.
"Hold on now, what about my treasure?" Rhoam asked.
The orb in my chest?
"Oh, that's where it went? Now how did that happen? Nevermind that then. Just go and find the treasure in the other three shrines, will you?"
He had been hoping the Sheikah had left some nifty gadget lying around, or perhaps a weapon; the ones he found always broke so easily. Oh well.
That wasn't the deal! Link complained.
"Oh? I suppose I changed my mind." He certainly had the privilege to as the boy's elder, were his title not enough.
~.*.*.*.~
Rhoam spent the rest of the day drawing upon his years of experience to practice the most efficient methods of killing time. He roasted mushrooms in the forest until his pockets were full, (attempted to) shield surf down the snowy mountain (which may or may not have done a thing or two to his back and said shield), and sat by the fire so long that he lost track of how many times he had dozed off before it. Sometimes Link would stop by and ask what he was doing, which was of course secretly far more mysterious and important than what he seemed to be doing, (looking after a lad such as him in Calamity Hyrule was quite the job!), but the boy never stopped long enough to probe further or say anything polite. Then he was off running, without a thought for conserving his stamina, to the point he marked on his Sheikah Slate. Rhoam shook his head after him; youth these days ought to look up from their slates and see the whole world around them.
~.*.*.*.~
By the end of the day, Rhoam was quite sure he had perfected the casual landing to swoop in on Link when he finished all the shrines on the plateau. The old man blamed his age for any want of grace. Feeling only a little bad about sending the boy on his own across the dangerous plateau without much help or say on his part, Rhoam greeted Link with some healthy praise. After all, proper child-rearing balanced praise with discipline, teasing, and fatherly jokes.
"Now that you've completed all the trials, it is time for me to tell you everything. But first, solve this little puzzle and the answer is where I'll meet you to finally let the Korok out from under the rock." He had a recipe he still wanted to mull over when Link had interrupted his ponderings.
But you just said it's time! the boy complained. He still hadn't remarked on Rhoam's entrance, though he was looking around to figure out where he had flown from.
Now was this boy really so rude that he seemed to have conveniently forgotten his education in etiquette, or had Rhoam really done anything to inconvenience him in the slightest? Anyway, perhaps when he was older and more experienced, he would understand that everything that had happened to him during this time was in his best interest, even if Rhoam had not originally planned for it to be so.
"Leave an old man his reasons," Rhoam said. "Anyway, I will be waiting for you."
And he dissolved into mist and flames of turquoise.
Now that had to impress the boy. Although, did he have any notion of what was impressive or not? Especially since he had hardly batted an eye at Rhoam's technical demonstration of paragliding prowess. Perhaps his abilities were wasted on the fellow.
~.*.*.*.~
Rhoam decided to put in the extra effort and have Link find him on the roof. The exercise would be good for the boy, especially as he might still be stiff after sleeping for a century.
As Link dragged himself up the stones of the tower, Rhoam would call to him encouragingly: "Hurry up! Don't slip now! I'm sure I have grown even older while you've been down there!"
Meanwhile, Rhoam was sure to transform into his old kingly semblance. He had been quite a noble-looking ruler when he was alive, and the turquoise flames around only added to his striking air.
But when Link finally clambered to Rhoam's perch, he merely shot the old king a glare from under his sweat-slick bangs.
A rebellious youth was not enough to shake Rhoam's composure as an old father or king, however. "Take your time catching your breath," Rhoam said. "I've got much to say."
And he did; he was sure not to leave out any part of Hyrule's history. He even mentioned the time when Link had taken up his dare to see how many baked apples he could eat in one sitting. The episode had ended with laughter, stomachaches, and Zelda being upset at the "lack of immaturity" of them both.
"Now," Rhoam said, "if you should ever need encouragement during your journey, don't come to me."
Link gave him a look. I wasn't planning on it.
"Oho! I was merely teasing! What I meant was, if you do need encouragement, I suggest you go to Zora's Domain: King Dorephan and his son are quite the rays of sunshine. His son always was a happy little Zora, but now he has grown into quite the strapping young man, unlike yourself. I'm sure you will like him; everyone does. But you had best not act like a child around them."
I only act like a child for you, Link signed with a pout.
"My boy, how thoughtful of you!" Rhoam said.
I didn't mean to be, Link signed.
"Of course," Rhoam said with an ill-executed wink.
Please, Link signed, so exasperated he had sprawled on the ground. I just want the paraglider.
"All right," Rhoam answered. "Take good care of it though. I used my old royal nightshirt for the sail, and I can't build another one like it."
Link moaned. I don't want it anymore.
"Take it! You can't leave the plateau and save the world without this nightshirt!" Rhoam said.
Link sighed, but obeyed, as a good child ought. Not as a good child ought, however, he ran in a flash to the edge of the tower and jumped off, already quite adept at gliding. Rhoam watched as he floated farther away, until he was beyond the Great Plateau, out of sight, off to save the world with the nightshirt of a king.
"They grow up so fast," Rhoam said to himself. "Ah, I forgot to ask him to chop some more wood for me."
Well, at least he would have something to do for the next few hours.