I saw the giant toy store on my way home. It was in an abandoned town on a path Heath and myself had never taken before. But I had lost Heath two days ago and I, myself, was lost. Heath was the navigator, while I was good at guessing whether or not a can of beans was housing a pack of worms. I must have taken a wrong turn a fork or two ago, and I just could not go back using only my two feet. Nightfall was beckoning, and I had to take a shelter somewhere. I inspected several convenience stores and groceries in that small town called Bushfire, but they were already raided and the shelves were bare. They were no use as a temporary house either. The glass walls were completely shattered, probably from the time when the villagers first looted the stores. I saw some walkers stuck on the broken glass and I leave them be. I approached the final building seemingly left intact in the middle of what used to be a plaza. The toy store was big and imposing. The walls were made of red brick, instead of glass, and the doors were boarded up. Its signage was big and yellow, which now fell vertically along the wall. 'Bill's Thrills and Things,' I tilted my head sideways as I read the name. I hoped no one was taking refuge inside. I took my duffel bag and approach the door. I had no gun, and only a knife to clear walkers just in case some were trapped inside, but I had to try. A roof above my head was at least better than sleeping outdoors. Hopefully, there are some maps inside.

I gathered up dirt with my hands and try to write on the boarded up doors.

'Fist bump you, Heath'

Well, just in case Heath turns up. He probably is already days ahead of me. Probably already in Alexandria with all the stuff we were able to gather. I hope so. We have mouths to feed, and in those cans were top quality, worm-free meat loaf. Judith could use some of those applesauce which she loves so much. Rosita could use some corned beef in her pasta.

Rosita

I sighed as I thought of her. It was dinner time and she was probably eating those cold, bland spaghetti noodles seasoned only with ketchup. I'm not saying that her cooking was terrible. Oh, the wonders she could do with ketchup! But the girl deserved to cook with meat, so I hope Heath delivers. Hell, I don't mind getting holed up in this toy store for the rest of my life, so long as they get to eat.

Except that she's waiting for me.

I am not a hundred percent positive that she would, but I practically begged her to not set foot outside of Alexandria until I come back. Begged without giving any of my feelings away. It was easy since I was not sure what my feelings toward her were anyway. I certainly miss her, long for her, can't stop thinking about her, can't wait to be with her, but we have never talked about what happens between us every night, so I try my best not to think about it. After all, she might just really like my hugs. I've been known to be a great hugger.

I went around the building and looked for a back door, hoping it was not boarded up. It wasn't. I sighed in relief. One down. I tried to push the door slowly. The hinges were rusting so bad, the noise of the creaking was enough to alert any walkers regarding my presence. I waited for about a minute, but I heard no gurgly noises inside, so I set foot slowly inside the toy store.

The room I found myself in was some sort of stock room. There was another door that probably led to the main store, but I was too tired to explore any further. I closed the shop's back door behind me. The fading sunlight poured from one of the windows as I settled down and looked for something to lie down on. I found a few cardboard boxes which I flattened on the floor. I also saw some plush toys in one of the boxes which I used as pillows. That would do. In fact, it was better than I had expected. I lied down on the cardboard, knife in hand, hugging a bunny plushy tightly. I wondered if Rosita would hug my pillow back in Alexandria. I wondered if she was thinking of me. With those thoughts in mind, I began to dose off as the sun finally set.

I woke up hungry. The sunlight was on my face, prickly yet playful. I took my duffel bag and surveyed what was left inside; 2 protein bars and a bottle of water. With no idea where I was, I was doomed if I was still days away from Alexandria. I stretched and got up. The hard floor took a toll on my back. I resolved to explore the store, maybe find some candy, but what I really need to look for was a map. I took my knife and swung the bag over my shoulder. The other door locks from inside the storage room, so I simply turned the knob and held the door slightly ajar. No gurgling noises. I stepped inside the main store preparing for the attack which never came.

The store was trashed, but otherwise, it was in a much better shape than the other enterprises I have encountered since the downfall. I guess people never bothered to take the toys. Bill, the owner, whoever he was, must have boarded up the shop hoping to come back to it when things were restored to status quo. But this was the new status quo. Poor bill.

I surveyed the shelves. Nothing edible here. The chocolates by the cashier were long gone. I looked for the souvenir stand. There it was, by the southeastern corner of the store. I jumped over some action figures and remote control cars which littered the floor as I approached the corner. Amidst fridge magnets and keychains and souvenir plates were maps of the town of Bushfire.

'YES!' I yelled inward. I took one of the brochure type maps. It contained the major spots, parks, and things to do in Bushfire. There's nothing much to do here anymore except leave. I turned the brochure to the other side and found a roadmap which showed Bushfire and neighboring towns. I set the map on one of the glass display cases showcasing toy trains, and studied it.

It turned out that Bushfire was only three towns away from Alexandria. If I left then and didn't stop to rest, I'd probably reach the safe zone by midnight. I tucked the map inside the back pocket of my jeans and made for the backdoor, stepping on several marvel figures. I took a plastic light saber from one of the stands to use as a walking stick. My hand was almost at the door knob when I caught something in my peripheral view. Near the stockroom was an entire shelf dedicated to bobbleheads. There were heads of celebrities, of characters, of superheroes, and there, almost at the end of the shelf, I found the bobblehead of a character I didn't realize I was looking for: a G.I. Jane. I took one figure of the girl soldier in my hand and made for the door.

I've seen this scene before and it didn't end well. The other bobblehead was lying inside my closet in the room Rosita and I shared, oblivious to what's been going on every night. It was supposed to be a present. But it was never received by whom it was for. I was determined to make it right this time, to give this present to Rosita, even if I have to run all the way to Alexandria. Determinedly, I made for the door. The sun has not yet risen fully. It must be around 6 in the morning. I ate half of one of the protein bars, and drank a fourth of the water from the only bottle I had. I needed to cover a lot of ground before the noon, otherwise, I'd be stuck inside the forest for cover against dehydration, which would seriously slow me down. I no longer deny to myself the need to see Rosita.

So I took quick, long strides, never stopping except to survey my surroundings for threats lurking, or to check the map. Come high noon, I had covered a town and a half. I took shelter inside the forest, keeping close to the main road, and ate the other half of the protein bar for lunch.

After resting for half an hour, I moved again, this time underneath the forest canopy. I had taken out about five walkers with my plastic light saber, which impressed me. I also fell down a small ditch, and sustained tons of scratches, some of which were bleeding, but otherwise, I'd survive. A few hours later, and the sun no longer directly above me, I took the main road again, making sure to keep my long strides. Based on the map, I had to be only five hours away if I kept my pace, maybe four if I tried to run some of the length. I'd be there by dinner time, eating Rosita's spaghetti.

But what if? What if I return to find somebody else eating with her? What if someone else has moved into our house?

'Your house?'

Fine, her house. But what if?

'Then how would you feel?'

I'd be jealous, my vision would probably flash white in blinding jealousy.

'But why would you be jealous?'

I don't know.

'Oh, Tara, I think you do, I think you do'

"Shut up!" I told myself loud enough for some walkers to approach me. I take two down. I just wanted to get home.

The night has fallen a few hours later as I approached the gates of Alexandria. I save my smile, however, until I'm sure Rosita was safe and sound inside. It was Eugene who greeted me at the gates.

"It's very nice to see you again, Tara," Eugene said monotonously, which I had since learned was a sign of his sincerity. "We were worried when Heath arrived yesterday without you, especially Rosita. She punched Heath in the face when she found out he left you behind."

"Rosita?," I managed to ask in between gasps of breath. I put my hands on my knees and crouched, the fatigue finally catching up with me.

"She's inside. She has stood guard by the gates since you left, I relieved her just hours ago," he replied. I smiled and hugged Eugene. I once again picked up my bag and made to run for our house.

"Something is going on between you two" Eugene said as a matter of factly. I stopped in my tracks and turned to him.

"I only say so because she's been worried sick since you left. I know you two are close friends, but she has watched over that tower waiting for you to return, and I know it was killing her. You two haven't really set foot outside the house except to fulfill your duties to the community. God knows what you've been doing inside all day and all night long."

"I don't know, Eugene, you tell me," I replied sadly. It was the truth. I had no idea where Rosita and I stood. I had not yet fully processed my grief from Denise' death, and I'm sure she hasn't completely processed her own. I felt like I had nothing left to lose when Denise died. That's why I wouldn't have given a fuck if Rick assigned me to the most dangerous missions. Yet all the touches, the light kisses on the neck, her kneading my flesh, give me something to look forward to. That's why I could not just await death inside that lifeless toy store. I once again had someone to come home to.

I took several steps away from Eugene, turned a corner to the street approaching the house. The lights were on inside the little matchbox houses of Alexandria, people were probably having dinner. I saw Carl cooing a crying Judith by the window and gave the pair a wave. Judith waved back. That little asskicker.

I stepped lightly on our porch and knocked. Three knocks and the door flew open.

There she stood by the door frame, eyes bewildered. Her olive green shirt smelled of whatever she cooked in the kitchen.

"Look what I found! I'm so glad I got to give it to you!' I wanted to take her into my arms, to ask her all the questions, to finally know what I meant to her, yet those two sentences were all I was able to blurt out as I thrust the toy soldier into her hands as if begging her to take it.

As if begging her to take me.

She held the bobblehead in one hand. With her free one, she grabbed on to my dirty shirt and slammed her body against mine. Suddenly I'm being kissed like I've never been kissed before. Her lips found mine, tongue darting in and out, as if she was a bee deprived of nectar her whole life, and I was the flower. I caressed her face, willing her to slow down, telling her there's more where these lips are coming from. We both went out of breath at the same time as I rested my forehead against hers.

"I missed you," I said, blushing.

'You stink,' she replied.

That night, after being fed spaghetti with corned beef, I took my first shower in a week. Dirt slowly peeled away from my skin, revealing some raw burns and bleeding scratches. She mothered me the moment she saw the blood. After drying my hair, she led me to bed, where she cleaned the cuts. Rosita kissed every gash, every tear, before putting on the ointment, and suddenly I wished I had more.

'You must be very tired. Do you want a massage?' Rosita said. She made to move for the dresser to get the oil, but I held her wrist to stop her. I shook my head.

'Tell me what you want, then, anything'

I slid my hand underneath her tank top, touching the flesh of her bare belly. I expected her to flinch away, but she remained still. Feeling bold, I tugged at the hem of the clothing. This was the first time I have ever made the first move. I had always let her guide me, let her set the boundaries. But the animal inside me wanted something, and if Rosita wants it too, then I have to take it.

Rosita pushed my torso gently towards the bed. She straddled my hips as I lied down, her figure towering over my body. My heart thundered inside my chest and blood rushed to my ears as she slowly pulled her shirt up, and off. She swayed her head to the left and threw all of her her hair to one side. By the moonlight, I saw her bare breasts. She was not wearing a bra. She never did when we went to sleep, but then, I tried my best not to stare. Not anymore. My hand went to her nape and guided her towards me. She kissed me again, only now less rushed than when we greeted each other a while ago. My other hand grazed her back and I felt goosebumps rise. Rosita shivered on top of me. She went down to my neck and nibbled the soft skin there, playing with it for a while. She tried to touch me everywhere above my shirt, my breasts, my belly, before sighing and pushing herself back up against my shoulders.

'Help me out, you're the lesbian here,' I heard her say. Sensing her frustration, I carefully placed my hand on her back and flipped our bodies over. Shifting my center on her groin I started kissing her, worshipping every place of her body. My lips found the places where I dared not go several weeks ago. Her temples, those high cheekbones, the crook of her neck, the backs of her knees. I sniffed the familiar scent that made me mad with desire. It was her turn to tug at the hem of my shirt. I happily obliged. I saw her eyes fill with lust as she gazed upon my naked torso. She traced down the line of my sternum with a finger, and that only gave more fuel to my already raging center.

I pinned down her hands with mine and start kissing her chest. I caressed one breast with my hand, finding her nipple and playing with it, while I took the other into my mouth, teasing the mound of flesh with my tongue before sucking on the brown nipple. I heard her moan my name with pleasure so I continued my ministrations.

My kisses went south. I tugged at her denim shorts, helped her kick them off. My eyes asking for permission, I willed her to open up for me by teasing her clit, rubbing light circles around the pink nub until she was begging for something inside her. Rosita held on to my shoulders as I plunged in one, two, three fingers. I heard her gasp to my ear as I curled the fingers toward the direction of her belly button. I went in and out of her, making sure to linger a few moments longer on her spot.

"Don't come yet," I command her through heavy breath, she almost cried. I quickly put my tongue on her clit while still thrusting in and out of her.

'Oh god!,' she screamed as her hips buckled in sync with my fingers. I took turns between licking underneath the hood of the clit and sucking on the nub, letting her hands guide me to the right areas and the perfect pressure.

'Tara, I can't…'

"Go on, babe," I gave her permission. Her walls squeeze on my fingers still inside her, and I felt her center vibrate through my mouth. Rosita flipped on her side, her body shaking as she rode the waves of her orgasm.

'Oh god, oh god, oh god,' she repeated as I held her tight from behind, kissing her nape and shoulder. I collapsed beside her when she finally came down from her high.

We rested for a while, then she finally turned to face me. Without uttering a word, she began raining kisses on my face, tracing the line of sweat on every fold of my body.

"You don't have to, Rosita," I began, but she silenced me with a kiss. Her eyes stared into mine as she proceeded to love the rest of my body. I felt my heart skip a beat when I saw the depths of those cinnamon pools.

Shit. I think I might have fallen in love.

I might have to tell her in the morning, I thought, as electricity run from my toes to the center of my belly.