THE ADVENTURES OF SHANEBLAST EPISODE 1: JURASSIC PARK

Warnings: Stupdity, Parodying, an annoying kid, slash, threesomes, deaths, and gymnastics.

ShaneBLAST and Callie the Cat were walking through a jungle randomly one day because ShaneBLAST didn't want to write and a T-Rex fell over in their path.

"WTF?" Shane exclaimed.

The Rex roared at them and ShaneBLAST picked up a rather large stick off the ground and started hitting the dino, "BAD REX BAD!!"

ShaneBLAST killed the Rex but was soon found by Alan Grant and John Hammond.

"NOOOO!!" John screamed when he saw the T-Rex.

Callie and ShaneBLAST looked at him funny.

"What?" John said in a shrilly, high pitched voice.

ShaneBLAST spoke up, "Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

John sighed, "No. That was in the book. I'm the movie version; The nicer, less money hungry version. Don't you agree?"

Callie meowed which probably meant, "No."

ShaneBLAST glanced down at Callie then back at the character that should be dead. "Um...well...I don't know where I am because I haven't written it yet."

John smiled and said dramatically as the music cued, "Welcome, to Jurassic-"

Alan cut in right there, "John, wrong island, this is Isla Sorna remember?"

John nodded, as he was going quite senile, "Oh. Quite right."

The T-Rex chose that moment to come back to life and eat John.

ShaneBLAST grabbed Kelly Malcolm, as she was the only person in the Jurassic Park movies, and he seemed to be in the movieverse, who had ever killed a dino.

Kelly did a gymnastic move and the dino died.

Shane then saw his computer screen pop out of nowhere. It was his portal back to his world. He picked up Callie and jumped through the screen.

Kelly screamed at the top of her lungs, "WAIT FOR ME!! I'M IRRITATING AND I'VE KILLED TWO DINOS! I DON'T WANNA BE HERE ANYMORE!"

A raptor jumped Kelly from behind and mauled her, causing Alan to scream like a little girl and run through the jungle, only to be pounced by Ian Malcolm (apparently oblivious to his daughter being dead, or too high on morphine to care) and Billy to have a really hot threesome.