Bribe and Gloom
Okay, so the stupid title didn't want to stay centered... (kicks)
DISCLAIMER: Life would be a lot more interesting if I did.
So, anyway, last year I wrote a Halloween one-shot about Robin using his costume to go trick-or-treating when he's supposed to be patrolling, and Batgirl finding out and making him give her candy to keep quiet. And then I said I'd write a sequel, so here it is. Bet you thought I forgot about it, didn't you? ;)
It could never be said that Robin wasn't a resourceful teenage superhero. Every Halloween for the past three years, he would make sure his mentor was off fighting crime elsewhere, pull out a bag, and hit the streets, allowing several dozen of Gotham's more naïve citizens to believe he was just another sweet, innocent child in a superhero costume out for free candy. And it had all worked out very well for him until Year Two, when Batgirl had caught him at it and demanded half the night's haul to keep her flap shut.
But that was all in the past now. Year Four had been the most profitable year yet and left the fourteen-year-old Robin feeling gracious enough to pour half his earnings into Batgirl's bag without the standard complaints.
"Impressive haul, Wonder Boy," Batgirl commended him, reaching for a third Kit-Kat.
"You'd be surprised how much candy people are willing to give to an adorable kid in short pants," Robin replied with an angelic smile.
As they continued munching on their treats, the two junior crime-fighters kept watch over the placid street below them. The high-rise apartment building they were sitting on gave them a perfect view of everything below them—and of floors 55 through 70 of the apartment building across the street. On floor 68 in particular, there was a Halloween party going on.
Feeling no guilt whatsoever, Robin pulled out a pair of binoculars to take a closer look at that party. Batgirl was too busy sucking a lollipop to notice until Robin slapped her on the back of the head and shoved the binoculars in front of her face.
"Hey! Take a look at this!"
Jamming the lollipop into her mouth just in case Robin decided to try to steal it while she was distracted, Batgirl took his binoculars and looked at the apartment he was so eagerly pointing at.
"It's a Halloween party… and everyone's dressed like superheroes!"
"Quick bet—which costume shows up most? Dibs on Superman."
"That's what I was gonna say!"
"Too bad."
"Fine," huffed Batgirl. "I say Wonder Woman."
"Deal. What are we betting?"
"Whoever loses has to give the rest of their candy to the hero they voted for. In person."
Robin nodded his agreement and took his binoculars back. Batgirl had a pair of her own she could use to spy on the party with.
Half an hour later, the two junior crime-fighters had tallied up all the different costumes at the party, including the costumes on people who had arrived later. So far, the count was one each for the Flash, Wolverine, Iron Man, Batgirl, Green Lantern and Booster Gold (with a stuffed toy Skeets perched parrot-like on his shoulder), two for Spider-Man and Blue Beetle, three for Wonder Woman, four for Batman and five for Superman.
"Ha, ha."
"Shut up. This party ain't over yet. Besides, I notice there's somebody dressed up as Batgirl and yet, nobody's showing up in those tacky pajamas you call a costume."
"That's just because they wouldn't look half as good in the short pants as I do," Robin insisted, maybe a little too strongly. "Besides, that doesn't change the fact that you're about to be surrendering your Snickers to the Amazing Amazon."
Batgirl blew him a raspberry, swiped a piece of raspberry-flavored taffy and went back to party watching.
"Oh, look. Batman number five just showed up."
"No, I think that's supposed to be the Midnighter. See, there's Apollo."
"…Okay, that has way too much estrogen to be a sun god. Batgirl strongly disapproves."
"I'll be sure to write that down," Robin said dryly.
As he did so, he heard a strange sound from next to him, sort of like a chipmunk with asthma. He looked up to see Batgirl giggling hysterically.
"What?" he asked.
That just made her laugh harder, until she was in danger of falling off the roof. Robin half-thought she'd gotten a whiff of Joker's laughing gas and was halfway to preparing an antidote when she snatched his binoculars and shoved them in front of his face. Robin glared suspiciously but obediently looked through them.
It was the party, as expected, and one more guest had arrived. She was a very attractive blonde in knee-high black boots, a short and shiny green skirt with matching evening gloves, and a low-cut red bodice with familiar yellow stitching on the front. A rather short golden cape complicated the ensemble.
In short, she was Robin by way of Victoria's Secret.
"Would you shut up? It's not that funny!"
"Hee hee hee hee…"
"How about you make yourself useful and find out who manufactured that atrocity so I can sue them? Or at least sic the fashion police on the designer."
"Her version of the Robin outfit makes yours look downright classy," Batgirl agreed, finally calming down enough to scribble the name 'Robin' onto their list. The real Robin immediately and viciously scribbled it out.
"Hey," Batgirl objected, "if that overly-feminine excuse for a sun god can count as Apollo, then Miss Strip Club there is totally a Boy Wonder, Boy Wonder."
Robin sighed but didn't interfere as Batgirl rewrote his name on the scrap of paper.
The party lasted another hour before people started to go home. By that time, the total Superman/Wonder Woman count was 7 to 5.
Robin blinked to himself in surprised. He couldn't believe it.
"I… won?" he mumured to himself, a triumphant grin slowly making its way across his face. Then, with much more enthusiasm, he clambered to his feet and proudly proclaimed to all of Gotham, "I WON!!!"
"A little louder, why don't you," Batgirl grumbled. She clutched a Hershey's bar protectively against her chest. "I don't think they heard you over in Metropolis."
"Ooh, we don't want that. I'm sure they'd be proud to know their homeboy just kicked Wonder Woman's star-covered butt." Robin turned so he was facing Metropolis off in the west and was about to bellow his success a third time when Batgirl tackled him to the ground.
"Are you nuts? You want Superman coming over here or something? Besides, why would anyone in Metropolis care that you won a stupid bet?"
"Hmm, what candies have you been eating? Because they all smell like sour grapes from here."
"That's not what that means."
"However, it does mean that you and I are taking a trip over to the Satellite and donating some candy to a needy super heroine."
"Now?" Batgirl asked, making a face.
"Yes, now."
With a sigh, Batgirl got to her feet. She decided that she was going to face this with as much dignity as possible, which meant no whining, no punching Robin in the mouth, and certainly no clinging to her candy and sobbing over it in an attempt to earn Robin's sympathy. That hadn't worked with her father when she tried to open her Christmas presents early, anyway.
"All right," she admitted the loss. "Let's go then."
Still grinning wildly, Robin picked up his own sack of candy as Batgirl retrieved hers. They turned to go back to the Batcave and its Justice League transporter but stopped short at the sight of Superman and Wonder Woman (the real ones) standing there.
Superman was smirking.
Wonder Woman was not.
"I believe you two are supposed to be keeping this city safe from supervillains, not making frivolous bets with unhealthy snacks," the Amazon pointed out, frowning severely.
"Don't worry about her," Superman told the terrified young Bats. "She's just mad that she lost your bet."
Wonder Woman now turned her glare in the Man of Steel's direction.
"That is completely irrelevant," Wonder Woman insisted, a dangerous glint in her eye. "These two have been trusted with the job of protecting this city, and yet instead, they spend their time in this manner. How is this acceptable?"
"She has a point there," Superman conceded. He gave the two teenagers a semi-stern look. "We're going to have to do something about that."
Batgirl and Robin exchanged glances. Simultaneously, they reached into their bags and pulled out two generous handfuls of candy.
"Want some?" they offered.
The End
Sadly enough, that Robin costume does exist pretty much as described. If you haven't seen it, just google "women's superhero costumes" or something and I'm sure you'll find it. Also, I apologize for the lame and obscure Apollo/Midnighter joke--I realize they aren't the most popular characters. For those who don't know, they are basically Earth-50's version of Superman and Batman, except without the pesky morals and unwavering heterosexuality.
Anywho, Happy Halloween to all who celebrate it! Hope you got lots of candy. XD