Why hello again! I'm back with another one-shot. Another Harry Potter one-shot. This was actually a dream I had one night, I kept it to myself until I remembered it and told my sister. She laughed and told me to write it. After a couple days' time of debates in my head aside from the normal taking-over-the-world plots, I gave up and decided to write it and get the plot bunny away from me. So I appreciate feedback.
Disclaimer: I always would wonder why this site was called "Fanfiction . net" when I so owned Harry Potter. If you believe this, review or PM me and tell me, I'll laugh in your face and tell you you're mad.
(That means I don't own Harry Potter so shut up and stop making me feel so sad...)
Summary: "Come and get a bottle of the newest laundry product – Voldemort! It cleans, it shines!" Harry whip around, his spatula at the ready…only to find a new product blasting on TV.Takes place…before Order of the Phoenix. During the summer before fifth year for Harry.
This kind of doesn't make sense...what with the bit of swearing but I tried.
-:-:- Of Commercials and Laundry Detergents -:-:-
It was quite a surprise. Really. No one had expected it – no one in the wizarding community anyways, the muggles seemed to have hear the name before. They just…couldn't place it.
Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, the one who saved the whole world from the disastrous Guy-Who-Had-A-Scary-Face-And-Red-Eyes-Not-To-Mention-The-Black-Heart-And-The-Heavy-Breathing dude. You know? That one guy…he has the oddest name. Well…I expect the name that his mother gave him was much, much better. His choice in names? Not so good. Not so good at all. But that's just me.
Eggs. Eggs and bacon. That's what the Boy-Who-Lived was doing that morning. Cooking. Yep. Breakfast, for the Dursley family who, coincidently, are his only remaining limbs (Not literally, duh). The parents? The older, and much…cubby-er uncle was off at work that early morning. The skinny, horse-faced women, coincidently the aunt, was off doing who-knows-what. Could be laundry (chuckles), could be cleaning, could be spying for God-knows-who-cares. Dudley, was another matter. He, the big prat himself, was sitting down on the dinning table, the one, where Aunt Marge had been blown up only two years ago. A television blasting in from of him, his pudgy eyes never blinking, never moving from the screen. His brain? Probably going…oh say, a speed of 0.00000000001 words per minute. Or maybe per hour. Who knows?
But, it was thanks to young, fat – I mean, chubby, Dudley that Harry had a good laugh that day – only to be regarded as odd by the older cousin. Young Potter also had a nice time considering where in the world did they get that name? Not that it wasn't funny or anything, oh it was heck a funny. No one. No one in their right minds would purchase that brand. But now you're itching to hear the story, eh? I should tell you I guess. (Just give a review winks).
It was ever-so peaceful. Or, as peaceful as it could get with a mad lunatic off to conquer the world by killing everyone who didn't appreciate his…evilness, a mental guy who breaths funny, an insane dude off to kill. That guy who killed all those people, sapped all the happiness right out of many peoples' hearts. That dude who seemingly should die. Yeah. All was quiet, except for the stove and the television. Oh, and a certain cousin's loud chewing and clatters of fork hitting the plate in front of the latter or the fork hitting someone in the nose or cheeks when they miss their mouth. But yeah, quiet.
Harry was easily cracking eggs and letting the contents spill out on the pan, flipping them over every so often. Next to that pan, was another one, almost identical except for the bacon frying in it. Sizzling, one could say – until it was crisp. Once that it was that, the jet-black-haired teen would slide the spatula under the food and bring it over to the plates off to the side before setting it in front of his ever-so-kind cousin.
So all was peaceful until the show on the TV went, "We'll be right back after this!" And commercials blared left and right. It had happened when Harry had just flipped an egg.
"Come and get a bottle of the newest laundry product – Voldemort! It cleans, it shines!"
Harry whipped around, his spatula at the ready…only to find a new product blasting on TV. The egg he had just flipped fell lifelessly back onto the pan.
Harry stared at the new product on the screen. It had showed a women – most likely to be a mother – with short, chin-length, straight dark brown hair. She had normal muggle clothes on, her head shaking in dismay as her children – two boys and a girl – ran into a living room, their clothes soaked and muddy. She only brightened when she noticed a bottle of the commercial item on the washing machine. They showed how it worked and how to work it and in the end, all the clothes were clean, looking like new. Then they said their trademark line – "Come and get a bottle of the newest laundry product – Voldemort! It cleans, it shines! Buy it now", a bright yellow background, arrows pointing at the said item.
Might I say bright red arrows?
Harry's serious (Not that Sirius, rolls eyes) expression changed; his brilliant emerald-like eyes brightened, amusement enlightening his face as his lips slowly curled into a smile before laughing out loud.
His cousin?
Stared at him like he was Voldiewart himself.
Well…kind of.
More like who-the-bloody-hell-is-that-mental-dude-doing-laughing-at-a-laundry-detergent-commerical-afterall-it-was-a-commericial-yet-he-still-laughed-sure-it-was-a-weird-name-but-why-in-Merlin's-beard-is-it-so-funny – stare.
Yeah.
Which is why Harry, who was wiping tears of laughter with the back of his hand, stopped laughing and chucked before going back to cooking only to find out that he had laughed too long and burnt several pieces of bacon.
Which is why Harry swore all the four-lettered swear words.
Really fast.
No.
Really, really fast.
Which is why it was a good and a bad day.
All days are like that; you have the bad, you have the good.
But it was more good then bad; the muggles had called Voldiewart a laundry detergent.
What a day.
-Fin-
Total words: 1,217
Total pages: 4 (Arial Unicode MS, size 11.)
Date Started: Thursday, December 14, 2006
Date Completed: Saturday, December 16, 2006
Date Posted: Friday, January 5, 2007
That was fun to write. Really. I enjoyed it thoroughly. But I must comment that I just love spell check. (Grins) On other notices though, you see that cute button? Isn't it as cute as a button (XD, haha)? It seems to just scream, "CLICK ME OR DIE!" so please click it and please me. I just love reviews.
Oh, if you liked this story yet have not read my other Harry Potter one-shot, go read it too. That one was fun to write too, so please read it as well (Or if you have time), since I'm on my knees begging. (Not that you have to…I would love it if you did though) so yeah. Review and read my other story. That's all I ask.
I hope you laughed at this as well.