The Tale of Glorfy's Hair Brush

Dedicated to Avalon Estel. If you are at all mentally damaged by the randomness in the story, she's the one who asked for it! ;)

THIS IS A PARODY!!! You have been warned. ;)

Disclaimer: Nope.

Chapter One (and the only chapter)

"Glorfindel, would you PLEASE stop humming! I must read this!"

"Erestor… why are you reading a book about dwarves?"

"Elrond."

"ELROND IS A DWARF?!"

"No! Elrond invited a party of dwarves to Imaldris. I want to know more about their culture."

"I think you're lying. I think you've fallen in love with a dwarf."

The author will now remind you that she does not think that Erestor loves a dwarf. She will also remind you that everyone is very much out-of-character. The author will now cease referring to herself in third person.

"Have you taken complete leave of your sense!? I'm married! Besides, why would I fall in love with a dwarf!?"

"Erestor, look in the doorway."

"Master Dwarf, I had no idea that you were here! My companion is slightly insane and--"

"Master Dwarf? Why…!"

"Did I do something wrong, Glorfindel?"

"Erestor! Must you really ask?! He's a girl!"

"Valor! I'm so sorry… I had no idea…"

"I can't believe it! I mean, if Glorfindel hadn't asked if I had fallen in love with a dwarf."

"WHAT?!"

"Oh, sorry, Alphiel. Glorfindel accused me of being in love with a dwarf."

"Bad mental image. BAD mental image."

"Stay out of this, Galadriel."

"I'm going to make some tea."

"Bye, Alphiel. What do you want, Galadriel?"

"Well, I've come to offer you my advice."

"What is it?"

"It is quite simple, really. If you wish to have revenge, you must get a strand of Glorfindel's hair."

"So you want me to ask Glorfindel for a stand of his hair? You're insane."

"Are you sure my husband hasn't been talking to you?"

"What does THAT mean?"

"Never mind, lowly advisor of Elrond. Now, if you get a strand of Glorfindel's hair, I can make him fall in love with the dwarf."

"Bad mental image. BAD mental image!"

"You see, I have some of the dwarf's hair. I can become all spooky and green, and then they will fall in love."

"Sounds great, Lady G. The only problem is that I must get some of Glorfindel's hair."

"Now, if I told you that, this story would only be a paragraph longer."

"Right. Whatever."

"And so, the brave—and quite handsome—Erestor made his way into Glorfindel's room."

"ALPHIEL, MUST you give a commentary?"

"Yes. So Erestor went into Glorfindel's room to take Glorfindel's eyes onto the oh, so random dwarf and off of his wife."

"WHAT!?!"

"Nothing, Erestor, dear."

"GOOD MONKEYS!! HE SLEEPS WITH ROLLERS IN HIS HAIR!!"

"So do you."

"That's not the point. I MUST get Glorfindel's hair."

"The brave and oh, so noble Erestor looked around Glorfindel's room for anything that might aid him."

"Like a knife."

"Are you THREATING me!?! I fell so unloved! I guess Glorfindel was right… I was driving into the arms of another man… elf… person."

"WHAT!?!"

"Erestor, just get the hair!"

"I'll get his hairbrush!"

"That only took you fifteen minutes."

"Shut up."

"Lady G., I have the hair."

"Excellent. Now I shall have to put it into my birdbath."

"But that's in Lorien!"

"Did I say this would only take five minute!? I must do this with CAUTION! GOOD TIMING!! And, of course, a PERFECT SMILE."

"Lady G., you need help."

"Don't I?"

"You DO realize that the only reason Galadriel wanted Glorfindel's hair brush was because she wanted to know what type of conditioner he uses."

"WHAT!?!"

"I thought so."

The next morning…

"Erestor, have you seen my hairbrush?"

Author's Notes:

I'm sorry. It wasn't quite as funny as I wanted it to turn out. Oh, well, hopefully I was able to make you laugh a bit.

Have a great day!

Malara :)