Author's Note: Hi guys! So, this is my first fanfic (if you don't count my first story "Never The Same" ) I deleted that story not long after I'd posted the first chapter because, well... the plot was a little too complicated for me. So, I decided to try something easier first =)

This is the first chapter but more chapters will be updated soon if you REVIEW PLEEEEEAS! =P

Ok I'm done. Tell me what you think. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 1. MURDER

Murder. It's the crime of unlawfully killing a person with malice aforethought; it is something outrageous and blameworthy, the means to take one's life. An unforgivable sin. But, is ending one's life the only way to murder? How can you kill someone without taking away his beating heart, his warm skin? How can you say he's dead while he's still breathing?

"No! I won't leave ya!" Raph cried in one of the many dark alleys of New York City, where an old three storey building mostly made out of wood and stone had been caught on fire. The fire was spreading, eating away all the wood that was left from the old building. He couldn't believe this was happening, not after everything they had been through. He was clenching at his Sais so tight that his knuckles were turning white.

"We won't make it in time Raph!" Leo said trying to keep his head from being buried underneath the big chunks of wood that had fallen over him minutes ago. Raph knew it was his fault. If Leo hadn't pushed him out of the way, that thing would've hit his head, certainly killing him. He looked at Leo. The fire was dangerously close to were he was laying. His green skin was covered with the blood that was gushing out of the wound on his leg. It was sliced open when that thing fell over him. He looked pale, sweat running down his forehead.

"But what bout cha?" Raph said. His voice was urgent. He could see that time was running out. That he needed to get to them before…

"Listen to me! It doesn't matter what happens to me! Go! Before it's too late…Go" Leo's face was now turning white and all the energy was draining out of him, if he had any left that is.

Raph hesitated for another moment, then he nodded hesitantly and said "I'll be back for ya bro" and started running towards the building. At that moment, he made a silent promise to himself; he promised that he'd never let anything happen to his brothers ever again. He heard Leo say something from behind, but couldn't make out what it was.

Raph took a quick glance at the bottom storey of the building just to make sure no one was there; he looked around the area that was once the building's "lobby". He had to find a way to get to the first floor but, he was pretty sure that the elevators wouldn't work.

He spotted some stairs at the corner of the lobby and darted towards them, determined to reach the first floor as fast as he could. Surprisingly, there was only one apartment with an old wooden door on the first floor.

Raph knocked the door open with a kick. He jumped in the room and covered his nostrils with his hand at the smell of the smoke that covered the area. His heart was pumping fast and he could feel the anxiety building in his stomach. The red banded turtle looked around the room that was barely visible through all that fire.

"Don! Mickey! Where are ya guys?" Raph yelled as loud as he could and hoped for an answer but received none. He felt his hand shaking as fear was added to his unbearable anxiety. He felt helpless and couldn't do anything but to run around the empty burning room. Raph flinched as he heard a faint cry from downstairs. Taking one last look to the empty apartment he ran towards the sound. After reaching the lobby again, the voice got stronger and he could hear Mickey crying for help. He picked up his pace. No one hurts his little brothers! The fire had grown even bigger and was now covering almost two thirds of the whole place. The lobby was empty but Raph was sure he had heard his brother's voice.

Suddenly, he heard noises coming from one of the elevators beside him. With a little effort he slid the door open and saw Mickey and Donny not in the elevator but below it. A huge hole had been dug out from the bottom of the elevator and the two turtles were tied up with their shells pressing each other. Raph let out a sigh of relief as he saw that they weren't seriously injured or hurt.

They were hung by their hands from a thick chain that was attached to one of the bars inside the elevator.

"Mickey, Don!" Raph called and bent on his knees to get a better look at his baby brothers.

"Raph!" they both cried as they struggled to move.

"Hang on guys!" Raph said and reached for his Sais to break the chains but remembered that he had left them with Leo. He felt nauseous for a moment as he taught about all that blood that was pouring out of Leo like a river but shook his head and started clutching at the chain, hoping to break it but, the more he pulled the more hopeless the situation got. And by that time Raph was starting to smell something else other than smoke in the air.

It was something that made Raph panic and lose all the colour on his face.

It was gas. "No! This can't be happenin! I have ta save them!" Raph though as he grabbed the chains furiously and pulled it harsher this time.

"Raph" Donny sobbed. "I-it's no use! It w-won't break" Donatello choked seeming to have given up.

And with that, all the hope Raph had in getting all of his brothers out of there "alive" Suddenly faded. As the smell of gas became stronger his vision became blurry. He couldn't hear Don's harsh sobbing or Mickey's cries of distress. Suddenly the smoke didn't bother him either. He knew that without a miracle, nothing could save his brothers. Raph couldn't think straight. He gripped the chains once more and pulled with all his might and by that time, the smell of gas had become so strong that he was having trouble breathing.

At that moment, an agonizing cry snapped him back to reality. He heard the sound of wood cracking and another cry followed after. "Leo!" Raph was reminded of his older brother that was lying outside the building helplessly with fire surrounding him from every corner, burning him alive. It was that moment when Raph's mind went Blank. Empty…Nothing.

By the time he realized what he had done; he was taking cover behind the closest dumpster to the now exploded building, his Sais on the ground with one of them broken and an unconscious, heavily bleeding Leo cradled in his arms.

He had done it. He had abandoned his two baby brothers. He had left them with a mortified look on their faces, dashing out of the door and running to a burning Leo. He had used one of his Sais to move the heavy wood chunks and with the strength which he didn't know he had left, he had literally thrown them out of the way; picked Leo up in his arms, ignoring the fire that burnt his own skin and took cover behind the dumpster as fast as he could before hearing the burnt building crash and explode in the dark of night. The sound of sirens could be heard in the background.

Right then, he didn't know what was worse; the fact that he had abandoned his brothers, that he had chose one brother over two, that Leo's bleeding was getting worse and this time there was no Donny to fix them up. What was worse? Not hearing his baby brother's annoying jokes all day or Donny's random rants about his latest invention. Yes, they were all extremely painful facts but … he couldn't feel them. He couldn't feel the pain that should've broken his heart, taking away his breaths and letting his tears fall. He couldn't feel anything at all.

If this was going to destroy them then,why had he done it? why had he abandoned the two precious things to them. To he knew.

He knew…

He was a murderer and was, now and forever numb.

Soooo... How was it? good? bad? terrible? should I delete this one too?