Title: His Name
Rating: PG
Summery: Because Hikaru is only one little boy. Because Kouyo was a man who always stared across the Goban to an empty seat. Because Sai was and is. Hikaru makes a different choice that day in the Hospital.

Prologue

" ...You play 'net Go."

The concept whirled around and around in his head. The possibility...it was like something that had been impossible before was now within reach. He had to try. He had to at least try.

" I don't...play internet Go, but...I know... someone who does. And he really...really wants to play you...Touya-sensei."

Hikaru wondered if he was saying too much, and if he was really going to go through with this. His heart was beating overtime and the anticipation almost hurt. Touya-sensei was silent and was just watching him. He bit his bottom lip and drew up the last of his courage.

" His name on the 'net is... Sai."

There it was; there was no turning back. After so long and so many lies spoken to deny the connection between the two of them, he was exposing it all.

" S-A-I. His name is Sai."

- Hikaru! -

He felt Sai's astonishment and confusion, but he ignored him for now. Now all that was important was Touya-sensei's reply. He was almost able to get Sai his one desire: an even game with Touya Kouyo.

" I know of him."

Hikaru snapped his head to stare at Touya-sensei in shock.

" Ogata-kun once showed me his game against Akira. He's an acquaintance of yours?"

He swallowed. This was the last step. He wouldn't be able to take these words back once he said them.

" Yes." Hikaru pushed himself off the sofa. " P-Please don't tell anyone! About Sai and me." He had to keep the secret, or everything done in the past two years would have been for naught. " Sai...has always wanted to play you Touya-sensei but since he can only play internet Go..."

" Why? Why is that? What is his real name?" Touya-sensei looked at him.

" Name..." He looked away, that was Sai's real name.

" You won't even give me his name?"

He sat back down. Should he or shouldn't he...he was asking Touya-sensei for a lot. Being a multiple titleholder like him, a game wasn't easily attained. But was it worth it?

" He's not a pro?"

He looked down at the floor; beside him Hikaru could feel Sai just waiting for him to play the rest of this move out.

" ...He's a friend."

Touya-sensei closed his eyes. " It's common for a strong player to want to play against a pro. But I don't approve of this hiding of his identity." His words were said to be understanding, but he turned away. " Call him here, I'll play him anytime. Not on the internet."

He felt a sinking feeling inside of him. So much had ridden on this, and he couldn't pull it off. ...It failed... I'm sorry, Sai.

But I'm right here! He looked up to Sai's passion filled words. Prepare the board and stones! I'm right here!

Sai... Behind the words Hikaru could feel the sadness and desperation. Sai was right there, but no one could see or sense him. Sai wanted to play Go and to prove his existence. Hikaru felt his heart clench. He had to try again. He had to succeed.

" You saw the game that Sai played against Touya. So you know Sai's strength, right?"

" I have no doubts about his strength," Touya-sensei said, " but in that game, Akira lost because of his inability to read ahead. I would have won."

The absolute confidence and carelessness that the Meijin said those words sparked the fierce look in Sai's eyes. Hikaru fisted his hands.

" Well, you can't tell a person's true strength unless you play them yourself." Touya-sensei acceded.

Hikaru jumped up. " Then please play him! Just once. Please!" he begged. " On the Internet...because he...he...can only play on the Internet." Hikaru felt his argument slipping again and felt frustrated. He was never going to convince Touya-sensei this way.

" All right."

He snapped his head towards the Meijin in surprise...

" It will be a good break between games of the important 10-Dan finals."

A good break!?

Hikaru looked towards Sai. Sai, you still get to play. He tried to cheer the ghost up, then turned back to Akira father. " Thank you very much. But about me and Sai...please keep it a secret."

" As you wish." Touya-sensei agreed, " But even if he has reason to remain hidden, it doesn't change the fact that the is a sketchy figure. I only agreed because you were so passionate."

Hikaru sighed, it wasn't fair but this was the best he was going to get.

" When shall we play?"

" Anytime..." Hikaru said a bit let down but still grasping his chance. " If it's okay with you, then even tomorrow."

" Haha. Wait until I get more used to this." Touya-sensei said pointing to the laptop. " It's different from holding stones."

Hikaru understood. He had trouble and had made a few mistakes the first while he had been learning to use the computer as well. " Then next week?"

" Yeah, the game 4 for the 10-Dan is on Thursday. A day off then on Saturday would be best. It won't interfere with the important game 5 the following week."

Hikaru moved forward to agree but then Sai's thoughts came through.

I wasn't...I wasn't seeking this kind of game.

Sai...

Hikaru wanted to tell him to cheer up and to stop being so picky. A game with Meijin Touya Kouyo wasn't so easily arranged. Most pros had to wait years for a game. And here they were able to arrange a game within a week and for their convenience as well. Sai should be thankful. Sai should be thankful... but...Hikaru clenched his fists.

Hikaru understood. Sai stood off to the side in this life, unseen and unable to touch anything. The feel of the goban and the go stones...did he even remember them anymore? The feeling of your opponent staring right at you instead slightly to the right, or left, or lower then where you sat - the knowledge that your partner knew your name, and your existence.

Hikaru's nails bit into his palm. He understood. All Sai had left was his passion for Go, and his desire for bettering his formidable skill. And the acknowledgement of his opponents who looked within the game and saw him.

Sai existed for and within his Go. Sai's Go was all he had left and all that he was. If someone he wanted so much to acknowledge treated it so carelessly...if Touya had seen a game with Hikaru as a good break instead of severe seriousness...

That would defeat everything. The game would serve no purpose.

And here he was trying to convince Sai to accept such a game, to treat him and his existence, as if it didn't really matter at all.

It wasn't right.

" Um...Please play seriously." Hikaru said.

" Of course." Touya-sensei replied, but it still wasn't what they wanted.

Hikaru looked down at the floor. Everything would be so much easier if they just went along with it. The game would happen, Sai and Touya-sensei would get to play each other, the day would pass, and no one would be the wiser.

And nothing would happen. But it would also mean nothing. Nothing would happen because the game would mean nothing.

Sai...Sai standing to his right, pale face turned away and long hair to obscure Hikaru from his expression. But Hikaru knew Sai was hurt.

" Can...can I think about it a bit more?" He asked, let his bangs fall down to cover his eyes.

Hikaru?

" Of course, Shindo-kun."

Hikaru nodded and got up. " I'll come visit again, Touya-sensei. Please...prepare for the game on Saturday. I look forward to the match."

" Ah. So will I."

Hikaru? What are you doing?

The teen ignored the ghost as he bowed in farewell to Touya's father and walked out.

Hikaru!

. : our future starts here : .