"Janine!" Winston Zeddmore called out to her from upstairs.
"What's happened to the fridge?"
......"Ask Doctor Venkman," Ghostbusters'
secretary Janine Melnitz yelled. "He'll be back in a few. He's shopping
for groceries."
......"Oh man, so it's worse than I thought,"
Winston said while he slid down the fireman's pole and landed on her floor.
"I'd bet it was Egon. He's got this thing for turning our appliances into
something from Star Trek."
......"No, he and Ray have been out on a
job for hours," answered Janine. "I think they'll come back soon. I sure
hope Doctor Venkman turns up and let me have my lunch sandwich back. I'm
getting hungry."
......"Me too - I was planning on making
lunch, but there's nothing but salt and broccoli lying around. I bet the
guys won't appreciate a meal based on those two ingredients only."
......"That broccoli is still there since
Egon went shopping last week," Janine smiled. "I heard Peter doesn't appreciate
what Egon brings back from the store - health food's never been his cuppa."
......"What's he thinking of? How could he
put a code lock on the fridge?" Winston sighed and sat down on the edge
of Janine's desk.
......"He didn't tell me the code," snorted
Janine. "He said he needed my sandwich for some scientific experiment
and that it'd be much safer in the fridge than in this drawer. If I hadn't
been busy talking on the phone, I'd never agreed."
......"If he doesn't come back in fifteen
minutes, I'll go buy some pizza," said Winston and looked at his wristwatch.
"It's on me, girl, if you want some. I won't let Peter kidnap your lunch."
......"That's sweet of you, but here he is,"
purred Janine.
......Winston heard faint footsteps coming
from outside. The door opened and Peter stepped in, overshadowed by two
bags filled with groceries.
......"You've got a keen ear!" Winston exclaimed.
"How could you know that's Peter's footsteps?"
......"You learn some skills if you sit here
for as long as I have," she replied. "Venkman! My sandwich."
......"Hey Zed, how was your date with the
commercial film crew?" asked Peter and headed for the stairs. "Janine,
any calls?"
......"Nothing urgent", answered Janine.
......"The shooting went fine," said Winston
and followed him. "At least I've got the cleanest teeth in history. They
made me brush them at least three dozen times for that one short clip."
......"Don't forget my sandwich!" Janine's
piercing voice was heard as she reminded Peter.
......"Isn't she a beauty?" Peter whistled
and put down the grocery bags on the kitchen counter.
......"Indeed. Burglar free," said Winston.
"Neither Janine nor I could get any food out."
......Peter ignored the sarcasm and pressed
a ten-digit number on the control panel.
......"Above all, it's ghost free," he smiled.
"No Slimer. No slime stains instead of food. Isn't it great?"
......"Well, I suppose," said Winston and
scratched his temple.
......"Guys!" Janine called out as she entered
the kitchen. "You can't believe what happened! I got a call from some
guy at a record company, wanting us to sell the ghost of Elvis!"
......"That's nothing new," said Peter and
gave her the sandwich she'd asked for. "People ask me that all the time,
if I've busted Elvis' ghost or if I could sell it to them."
......"Listen now," said Janine and took
a bite off her sandwich, helping herself to retrieve a cold soda. "This
time it seems like it's for real! Apparently Egon and Ray have caught
Elvis when he had a spontaneous gig in a record store! Someone at the
counter told the record company, and..."
......"Wow!" Peter exclaimed. "This could
make the red digits in our book turn a healthier color!"
......"You mean we're selling the ghost of
Elvis?" asked Winston.
......"I thought you said we ain't putting
up ghosts for sale?" Janine threw in, pursing her lips.
......"No, not selling," explained Peter.
"It's in the contract that we're keeping a caught ghost locked away. This
doesn't say we can't lend him out while he's monitored by us."
......"I don't like the sound of this," frowned
Janine.
......"Egon has this thingie which makes
a ghost stay trapped in midair - just like when they're pulled into the
ghost trap but stays hovering above it for a split second. We used it
when we had ourselves a case of a missing head and a runaway body, remember?"
......"That was just Egon and you," Winston
pointed out, "but I heard of it, yes."
......Peter slammed the fridge shut and went
downstairs, followed by the two.
......"I gotta speak to the guys," he said,
"before they do something stupid. They could use Elvis for some crazy
expriment."
......"Look who's talking," Janine mumbled.
......"Ray! This is Peter. Please respond.
Over," Peter hailed Ecto-1's com-radio.
......"Ray here," a cheerful voice mixed
with static hissing sounds was heard.
......"You got Elvis?" asked Peter.
......There were a few moments of silence
before Ray answered.
......"How did you know? Peter, can we do
some ESP-tests when we come back?"
......"No, no, skip the tests. We got a call
about the bust. Don't sell Elvis! Don't do anything, just bring him here,
okay?"
......"Sure," said a mystified Ray. "We're
just a couple of blocks away."
......"Over and out," said Peter.
......"Now what?" wondered Winston, when
Peter went upstairs three steps at the time.
......"I bet he's getting that 'thingie'",
Janine guessed.
......Soon enough, Peter brought down a discus
shaped piece of machinery. He only had the time to put it on the floor
and turn it on, before Ray and Egon showed up.
......"The trap!" Peter beamed. "I can't
wait to see this."
......He pulled the trap from Egon and opened
it above the gadget he just fetched. Egon yelled a "No!" and seemed to
want to grab the ghost with his bare hands. The spitting image of a young
Elvis formed.
......"I wish you hadn't done that," said
Egon.
......"Why?" asked Peter.
......"That's why," said Egon and ran to
the back of Ecto, picking up a proton pack.
......The piece of equipment, that was supposed
to keep Elvis steady for studies, sputtered and ceased to work. Janine
threw her half-eaten sandwich at Elvis when he dove right against her.
Singing some familiar words, "I'm all shook up", he was rapidly heading
up through the hole of the fireman's pole.
......"Nice job, Pete," said Winston.
......"It's not my fault that thing didn't
work!" he objected.
......"It's been broken for months," said
Ray and ran upstairs, carrying his proton pack on his back. "Come on,
we gotta catch Elvis again."
......Peter and Winston grabbed their proton
packs and thumped up the stairs. Peter said he'd check the kitchen, while
Winston checked the bedroom. Egon was obviously across the hall from Winston,
checking the treasured lab. Apparently he was worried what the ghost of
Elvis might do to it.
......"Ray!" said Winston in surprise. "You
done with the lab? You don't need checking the bedroom with me. Check
the bathroom. I heard Elvis died in the bathroom, maybe he prefers to
haunt bathrooms now."
......Ray cleared his throat and started
singing an off key version of "Blue suede shoes".
......"Man, what are you doin'? I'm glad
you got some inspiration, but go sing in the bathroom - please."
......Strolling the few steps to Peter's
four poster bed, Ray grabbed an empty Coke bottle from the nightstand
and jumped up on the bed covers. His voice sounded even more like a cat
being hurt when he sang "Jailhouse rock".
......"And where's your proton pack? What
if Elvis gets a hold of it?" asked Winston.
......"That's it!" said Egon, showing up
in the doorway.
......"What's what?" asked Winston.
......"That's me!" gasped the real Ray, having
showed up.
......"The ghost! Fire!" ordered Egon and
snapped the PKE-meter to his belt, pulling out his thruster.
......The ghost, still looking like Ray,
took a leap over Egon's and Ray's heads and landed with a thud behind
the two. Winston was dumbstruck for a second, his senses refusing to take
in what he just saw the fake Ray do.
......"It's a copycat," said Egon and turned
around, running down the narrow spiral stairs. "It was never the ghost
of Elvis. It happened to take the appearance of Elvis because it saw him
on a TV in the record store."
......"Then the ghost could be anyone - or
anything!" said Winston. "I sat in a chair that was a copycat, once. I
don't need more of them."
......"Ray made those two interpretations
on a podium in the record store, which the ghost made while standing on
the bed," said Egon. "Ray did it because he thought that would lure the
ghost back to us when we lost it for a while. Now I overheard the singing,
that's why I came to check. This copycat must be mimicking what it once
saw someone do."
......"We have to tell Peter!" said Ray.
......"The ghost is in the kitchen," said
Egon after consulting his PKE-meter. "Maybe Peter's there."
......Sure enough, Peter was in the kitchen,
demonstrating his fridge to Janine. She was eating her sandwich.
......Egon suddenly behaved very strange.
He ran across the floor, past the sink, and pushed Janine into the fridge.
He closed the door with a bang. Afterwards, he pulled the handle of the
fridge two times and stroke his forehead with the back of his hand.
......"What did you do?" gasped Peter. "Let
her out of there!"
......"It was the ghost," said Egon. "I saw
it on the PKE-meter. Janine ate a sandwich earlier, and the ghost saw
her do so. She threw away her sandwich, remember? How could she have still
eaten it?"
......"Yeah, she threw it at Elvis!" said
Ray.
......"There's a ghost in my fridge," growled
Peter and looked at how the fridge rocked slightly. "The food is full
of slime."
......"Why didn't you use a trap?" asked
Winston.
......"I didn't have any and it would take
too much time to explain why any of you should throw a trap at Janine,"
declared Egon. "I didn't want to scare off the copycat."
......"The ecto grid that's supposed to keep
Slimer out, keeps the ghost locked in!" said Ray cheerfully. "We just
have to find a way to get it out of the fridge at into a trap. That shouldn't
be too hard."
......"Everything I bought at the supermarket...
wasted," said Peter.
......"But we still have some broccoli,"
said Egon. "I can make a..."
......"No, Egon!" they answered in chorus.
the end
Written October 13, 2003