Awakening

Summary: Secrets are revealed and forgotten pasts are remembered since they shape the survival of the future. AU. After Eclipse.

Chapter 1

Unknown

This cycle is an unusual one, I haven't been able to retain any of my previous memories ever—well not that I can recall. I remember pretty much everything that had occurred in my previous … life I guess. I remember that boy, the one who was outrageously beautiful with his kind family. They were something. I remember how much I detested leaving them. I think I hated leaving them more than when I left my actual family. I didn't realize how attached I had grown until I actually left.

His family were called the Cullens, the names they've adopted under their—I suppose I can use the cliché term—coven leader's original surname, Carlisle Cullen. If it wasn't for this man I would not be in so much pain. If he had never had been bitten by that rabid vampire over centuries ago I wouldn't be in such an emotional mess. He turned his—as he calls—son, Edward Mason, next. Afterwards, he turned his mate Esme Platt Evenson. He found a young woman who was about to marry a man who was considered royalty in early America but had raped her, Rosalie Hale, then Emmett McCarty—Rosalie's future spouse. They then ran across a tiny girl named Mary Alice Brandon—referred to as Alice—who wasn't a girl but a, roughly, twenty year old with her permanent mate Jasper Whitlock. All of which have backgrounds that would sound like they came out a preteen's romance novel and are completely incomprehensible, but I assure you it's all true. Each and every one of these individuals are from different centuries and all of them are in fact real actual vampires, but of course they don't drink human blood—but that's a tale for a different time.

You would think that a family as special as them would be able to somehow track me down and scoop me up back into their lovely little nest and we would be happy forever, but I knew that cannot happen. That's practically impossible for me because of what I am, but Edward was willing to actually go through it with me. I didn't want him to, no matter all of his pleads he made that he didn't mind, but I did. The thing is because of what I am I cannot be turned into a vampire. There are just too many variables; the risk is too much, it can't be taken. I wouldn't allow it.

I didn't want to hurt him or the others, so I did what I know how to do best under these situations—I left. But I'm not stupid. I knew they'd remember if I just left without doing anything, so I did what I also do best—I erased myself from their memory entirely. But I am still human, which means I am selfish. By selfish I don't mean in a bratty-rich-blond-teen-queen aspect but as a natural law kind of thing. I don't like being forgotten entirely so I allowed only one person to remember me. I always allow just one person to remember me in absolute detail. I picked the most likely candidate: Carlisle. The man is the coven leader since he turned everyone so it would make sense for him to be the one to know.

There is a problem though. Edward can read minds—yes in a geeky bad comic kind of way—like how Alice can see the future and Jasper is a powerful empath. So keeping that little secret from Carlisle would be challenging if Edward was more of a telepath and not so much as a low-leveled mind reader—these things will be explained later in full context I assure you. All Carlisle has to do is not think of me in Edward's radius and if he does so happen to think of me or recall me in a memory Edward cannot pick that up in his own head. I've taken this long complicated process that's a bit too difficult to describe in words other than: when Carlisle thinks of me Edward's mind isn't able to register that thought.

I felt bad for making Carlisle remember everything, but I guess I knew that one day I'd come back in one way or another and I guess Carlisle was hoping that's what me making him remember was for.

So I left my current home—it was a dinky little dorm room in a quiet college that has no importance really. I don't even have to wipe anyone's memory since I wasn't exactly a girl everyone knew and loved and would never be able to forget. I was easily forgotten and blending in the background—I think this is a sort of defense mechanism due to an unconscious shielding.

I pressed the gas and made my white outdated Corolla as fast as I dared—it was only sixty miles an hour. I wasn't worried about getting a ticket since I can get out of those; I'm more worried about my only source of transportation dying.

It was nightfall and I've been on the road for hours listening to the same Alicia Keys songs for the entire time. I think I was too lazy to even attempt to change the artist on my iPod. I've already scanned the globe—no joke—and found that the Cullens have been residing in Forks for a while. I didn't linger in their heads too long for any details; it feels like I'm invading their privacy too much when I do it. But I know the exact location and that's all I need. I did all of the calculations in my head multiple times making sure I didn't get it wrong: it would take twenty hours to get there nonstop and so far I've been driving for eight and I stopped at a roach motel and slept for a eight hours and I drove on the road for another four. I have roughly eight more hours to go. I was energized by that tidbit of information and placed a little more pressure on the gas pedal causing my ancient car to go faster.

To entertain myself I started converting how many miles it was from the college to the Cullens' residence. After that I converted that into yards. To further prove my geekiness I began to turn that number into kilometers. This proves how entertaining these twenty hours alone is when something made my car jerk in an unnatural manner.

I froze sensing not only one but multiple beings closer than they should be. They surrounded me like a pack of wolves after its prey. I tried to go faster but my Corolla, bless its little heart, couldn't go the speed of a well-tuned muscle car in its wildest dreams. Instead I was stuck with a wheezy engine.

All I could hear was the loud thumps of my blood in my ear as my heart started to quicken. A person would think that I'd be prepared for something like this—an attack by things not human even though I'm not exactly one-hundred percent human either, but the truth is I haven't actually practiced any kind of combat for decades. I guess you could say I'd grown lazy, especially after being taken care of such powerful beings like the Cullens. They were the ultimate protection, next to me at full power capability of course.

I heard a loud audible thump on the hood of my car. I flinched, forcing myself not to let my scream break through. I breathed slowly, closing my eyes trying to concentrate. My hands were shaky on the steering wheel as another loud crash landed on the back of my car on the truck. It then felt like I was being yanked backwards by some powerful force. My body jerked forward involuntarily and a tiny yelp was released.

There was a low hiss and I looked out the window trying to catch a glimpse of my attackers. Of course it would be dark; these things like this would happen in the dead of night. I should have known better.

My car door was yanked open and pulled off as if it weighed nothing. The sound of tearing metal screeching made my ears feel as if they are bleeding. I searched in the darkness trying to look into the eyes of my attacker. I scrunched down in a defensive position watching carefully. It was quiet with only the whisper of the wind making the only noise aside from the old engine.

I was tense waiting for something. I regret all of the chances I had that I could have practiced. Instead of letting my abilities expand I grew lazy and comfortable with basic tasks. I focused with all of my strength to reach out, but I couldn't. I was too weak from traveling and the whole lack of practice didn't exactly help the whole situation either.

A pair of bright red crimson eyes appeared at my door crouching through the empty door frame. Its white hands expanded the car further showing its brute strength proving that it can rip me to shreds without hesitation. The figure smiled showing a row of bright white shiny teeth. It was amazing how white the teeth and skin could look on the creature because it was pitch black outside, so white that it glowed. And if this were some sort of horror story the creature would be hideous looking and make me cringe while its grin became more pronounced. But this is reality and the creature it horribly beautiful. I suppose the beauty was supposed to make it seem welcoming and gentle, but I saw it for what it truly is: dangerous.

"Amanda," she said recalling some sort of memory from the nostalgic look on her face. Her posture was now more relaxed as four more figures appeared behind her in a low animalistic crouch with a feral, but regal look to them. "It's been so long."

"Not long enough," I grumbled looking into her eyes that marked her as a murder.

She tilted her hair, making her tiny golden locks sway. Don't let the innocent little girl image fool you, she's not as innocent as she wants you to believe. Her smile turned deadly amused.

"Oh, don't be so bitter. Can't an old friend say hi?" she asked her voice low and gentle. I suppose I can describe it like a trickling stream or something just as sweet and sugar-coated, but I can see beyond the pretenses and perceive the pure sadistic tone in her voice.

"Sure, if we were friends," I snapped at her.

She laughed. "Such a feisty one," she purred to herself.

I narrowed my eyes. "Don't do that ominous crap on me. It doesn't work," I said digging my nails into my car seat, it was an involuntary reaction, but I knew what she was capable of and it terrified me.

She sighed knowing it was true. "Well then, let's cut to the chase shall we?" She paused. "You have something that we want."

"What's that?" I asked warily. I concentrated on her mind for a moment and I knew the answer almost instantly. "No."

She grinned. "Yes. And you have no choice in the matter."

"Make me," I threatened.

I maybe a lot of things—weak, unpracticed, and tired—but I won't give up no matter how grim the chances looked.

She let out a laugh. "I was hoping you were going to say that." The malicious spite in her voice caused tremors to go down my spine, but I fought their effects. I didn't want to come off as weaker than I am or worse—afraid.

I placed barriers around myself in futile attempt to protect myself. I concentrated long and hard on the shielding. I tried to make the layers so thick that they were impenetrable but I could feel the tiny drain that it caused me to do something so complicated without much practice.

She flashed her teeth in a deadly smile and lunged. It was a terrifying and feral movement. It would have killed me in a matter of seconds if I didn't put up my shield. So instead of attacking like she had strategically planned, she stopped right in mid-air with a loud crashing sound that was almost as deafening as the sound of my car door being ripped off. She fell to the ground causing a divot in the floor as her golden locks obscured her face. She stood up and let out a terrifying scream of fury too quickly that I missed the movement, but I saw her clawing at my shield trying in vain to find a weak spot and get to me. She didn't realize that fighting a mental force field isn't like fighting another being. It's an unfair advantage to someone who is particularly gifted in this ability. Luckily I'm the one casting the force field. The bad thing: I don't know how long this can last. It's not like I can out run them.

I tried with all my might to not let any of it distract me. I put all of my stored energy into this shield, since if I didn't I would die or worse. I knew I couldn't give myself to them, but I didn't know if I had enough energy or courage to outwardly kill myself right now on the spot. The idea terrified me because I don't know what would happen next. Both outcomes looked dreary and misfortunate. I let out a burst of energy causing all of my foes to fall a few yards away, causing them to crash into the ground from the unexpected blow.

I could just feel my own power draining. I didn't know if I had enough time or energy to keep this up forever … I doubt I could hold my own against all of those vampires while I'm still just a human. I have needs that haven't been properly carried out for a while now. And it isn't exactly like I have anything going for me right now or that anyone will come up beside me and fight vigorously. There are very few people aware of my existence and even fewer people who are capable of defeating such a foe. It would be a incredibly selfish deed to even consider asking for their help and besides they're too far to do anything about it regardless.

The entire crew of vampire stood up quickly and all appeared around my shield thrashing and tearing at it vigorously. I could taste each of their minds and their vehement anger towards me. All of them were baffled at the fact they couldn't simply overpower a simple being like a human. This livid anger they had fueled them to imagine such a violent rage that it disgusted me to be in their heads for a moment longer. Seeing my death played in their minds over and over was a crud and fearful thing even for someone who's died more times than they can count. Even through their obvious disliking towards me and my ability to hold them off for so long—something none of them has ever experienced before—they knew that their darkest wishes could not come true because there was a bigger much more powerful force who wanted me alive for their own sick bidding.

"You can't keep this up forever," the little girl muttered.

I just gritted my teeth. I can try, I projected into her head.

She scoffed. "Look at you! Your hands are shaking and sweat is beating down your face! You won't last another hour—just give up now and stop wasting your valuable time," she suggested. She was starting to grow bored since the longer I fight back means the longer her master must wait for my arrival.

I won't give up without a fight.

"You think this is a fight?" She gave a delicate snort. "This is nothing just as you are nothing," she spat.

If I am truly nothing then why does your lovely master want to covet me so much? And why does he value me, a human, so much more than he does you?

She gave a loud hiss full of both pain and frustration. She lunged at the force field, but fell miserably and started to furiously claw at it.

I would have laughed, but that would have taken too much energy. Even now just standing here was exhausting. A wave of fatigue overwhelmed my limbs and I could feel the energy shield yielding. I pushed harder to keep it from faltering, to keep myself from being so weak. I felt euphoria from the vampires seeing my blatant distress. I didn't have any energy now to stop my heart that would require me to stop the force field. You would think it would be so complicated, but it is. I would have to recall the exact place of the heart and sever the right arteries otherwise I might just cripple myself—that would be even worse than death.

As my only source of protection began to falter I gathered every single person in my mind that I can think of that I ever truly cared about. I pictured all the people I knew who unconditionally love me as long as they exist. I located each of them quickly and almost smiled at the touch of their familiar minds. I knew that this would be one the most selfish, cruelest, and stupidest act I've ever done throughout all of my lives, but I also know I would forever regret it because this means I didn't fully do everything in my power to try and stop these pale blood-drinking bullies. I cried out into the minds of everyone I know the only word of any value to me now, the only word that could possibly save me: help.