For the first time in a few days I finally had a good night of sleep.
Well, a night and the whole morning. And a bit of the afternoon, surely.
The sun lazily filled my room with light through of the huge windows.
As I tryed to get up from my bed, I realized that Cass was no longer there.
Still shirtless, I sited still and watched as the birds flew and sang outside.
I barried my face in my hands, trying to remember everything that had happened.
Honestly, how could I forget?
Flashbacks wandered through my head as I put on my bunnny slippers.
Knock knock knock.
I was afraid to anser the call.
"Jack, let me in. Let's talk." he said.
His voice was just so calm and inviting that I coudn't resistist to let him in. Just a talk. It'd get better. Surely.
I finally assembled enough might and strengh to stand up.
My room was clean and organized, nothing like I remembered it to be.
As soon as he got a glimpse of me, a smile emerged in his face, ear to hear.
I would have reacted a lot differently, if I was in his place. I was honestly terrible. My hair was messy, my eyes were surrounded by dark circles, I had bad breath, my clothes were crumpled and I didn't shower since I entered in the ninth circle of hell.
Not to mention my room. There were cloths everywhere, my desk was filled with papers and trash, the floor was dirty and the walls had my nail's marks.
He run into me, and raped his long arms around my neck. The shock made me fall into my bed, with a joyful laugh.
I wasn't sure if I how I would manage to look into his eyes today and tell him sincerely how I felt about him and how greatful I was for having him in my life.
But well, as Marco used to say: Using the brain stops your true instincts from acting.
For now, my biggest challenge was to put on some cloth.
Our laughs were tangled togheter, forming a sweet harmony.
We parted and as soon as he sited up his expression got serious.
"Ok, Jack. Tell me what's going on with you"
"Nightmares"- I replied.
Being one of the Selects he
The memories flew over my head as I walked to the baseball court, the place where they'd most likly be.
Marco launched the ball with his usual incredible strengh, as Aly tryed to catch it.
Cass was siting casualy at the bottom of the audience, and clapped every time Aly managed to catch the white ball.
Their little game stopped with the sight of me.
"You look better" -concluded Aly.
"Do you feel better?" asked Cass.
I explined to him how all the awful beast have been tormenting my sleep, torturing me endlessly, how all my friends turned me their back, how I was made watch everything I loved and belived in burn right in front of my eyes.
His eyes burned with tears. He understood me. But still, he beived I need to sleep more than everything.
"Jack, we are all here. We are here to help you. Me, Aly, Marco… Everyone wants to help!"
"But you can't help me!"
My voice was so cold that I was quite surprised myself. Because, in the end, I was just silently screaming "Help me".
I felt so lost in my own thoughts that I just hoped I had an aproppriate answer.
"I think so"
Sucess! They didn't even noticed… I hope.
Cass smiled slightly and Aly and Marco run into me and made me join a group hug.
I felt so good!
I felt home…
Over Aly's shoulder I watched as Cass' shy smile became a proud one.
Then, the visions, not only from last night, this time, came faster and in no order or control:
Cass' laugh filled the awkwardly silent room.
No one had the courage to laugh in such a tense situation and yet his laugh was so contagious that in mere seconds, everyone was laughing.
"Please, Jack. Don't do this to yourself!" -he asked me.
I couldn't bear to hear such bereft in his voice. He truly cared about me. Like no one had ever cared. He was trying to give me the love I had never gotten. But I just could make myself accept it.
"Please, Cass, no! I don't want to face them again! I can't!"- I protested, lost in despair.
Tears filled his eyes. He just wanted me to be ok! Why couldn't I give him that!?
"I love you" said Aly.
I pulled her away gently. I didn't want to hurt her, but my heart already belonged to someone else.
Cass's class of Backwardish was being everything but boring.
"I-I'm sorry!" Cass exclamed, laughing.
I picked up my books with his help
"Thank you Cass"
"Anytime" he replied.
"It's ok, Jack. We've been threugh this too. It'll get better. Trust me" he said.
"I JUST WNAT THEM TO GO AWAY, DAMN IT!" I yelled furiously, scratching my arm.
It didn't saw him smile like that since… Well, I've lost track of the days… He genarally smilled a lot, but his smile of relief was indeed incredibly beautiful.
"Thank you Cass." I gesticulated, not pronouncing the words.
He noded and whispered:
"Anytime"