I Solemnly Swear They Are Up To No Good

by Punchbuggie

For the Conversations With a Hat Challenge by Maraudercat. The Sorting Hat is having a bad day...why? It's sorting the Marauders, of course!

1. Black, Sirius

Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize is mine.

"Black, Sirius!"

Yep, that's me. Just to let you know, I'm a very Sirius student.

'I had a feeling you'd be saying something along those lines...'

Siriusly?

'Enough with the name puns, boy, do you want to sit here all day?'

No, sir. Hat. Sir hat.

'Your mind is quite interesting...if I were a smart hat I'd put you where you couldn't get into trouble, but...'

Sorry, not possible.

'Precisely. I'm very familiar with your family, Mr. Black. A strong line of Slytherins, aren't they? Yes, I remember each of the students I sorted. Like I said, you come from a strong line of Slytherins, but...'

I know. I've been told. I'm a...what did James call it? Oh yeah, a...'crayon from a different box'. Mum just calls me a 'traitorous rule-breaking no-good freak'. I prefer the crayon metaphor, but, you know, whatever works. Hey, hat, what color crayon would I be?Haha, I would be a black crayon, wouldn't I? Get it?

'Normally, I would refuse to answer such a ridiculous question, but in this case, I think I will. Your colors are red and gold.'

Wait...Siriusly?

"GRYFFINDOR!"