I love being inspired my music to write a fan fic, especially this one in particular. I read the lyrics for "Solitude" by Evanescence four or so years ago and loved them. When I started falling in love with Riku's character in KH and then went back and read the lyrics, I was like "Ohmigod! I have to use this somehow!"… And then I heard the song for the first time and it made the words even better, leading me to where I am now…writing this insanely bittersweet fan fic that will probably make Kairi-haters squeal with joy. I, however, am NOT a Kairi-hater. I really like Kairi's character…the fact of the matter is that the Riku/Sora pairing comes before the Sora/Kairi pairing in my mind, so yeah…

Anywho…Enjoy!!…

WARNINGS: rated for language…Riku angst…blind Sora…good times, right?…

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters…

Part One:
Preparations…

The preparations were in order. He was set to be married to her. I laughed. Now who didn't see that coming? Sora and Kairi—the most envied couple in the land—were finally going to be married after only two years of dating.

And where was I in all of this? Well, poor little Riku was Sora's best man, damned to stand in front of a crowd of happy people, only to feign my own happiness and try to hide my pain and total objection to the marriage that was quickly growing closer.

I don't know why I did it. Perhaps I thought it was something that I owed him. He deserved happiness and that was exactly the opposite of what he would get with me. No. If he were to miraculously break off his proposal and run off with me (which was highly doubtful, might I add), he would get nothing but me. Riku. My name and happiness were rarely used in the same sentence together. But who knows? That could change if he was to ever see how much I longed for him. Too bad it was too late now.

I laughed again.

Sora was blind, had always been blind, and there was no reason for him to suddenly regain his vision now. All he had to do was follow Kairi wherever she went and nod whenever he saw her nod her head. That was it. There was no work involved in their relationship. It just was. And just for that fact, it should be illegal.

I was lost in my thoughts of how I would get an anti-Sora and Kairi marriage law passed when a hand landed gently on my shoulder. I blinked a couple of times and looked up, only to see Sora smiling down upon me. Even after all these years he was innocent and pure, and I just wanted to take him and keep him all to myself. My own personal little angel. But why would an angel want to belong to a demon? It was a relationship that would be doomed to fail from the beginning.

I did my best to smile back at him but I suppose a grimace only formed because he frowned and sat down next to me on the step outside the tuxedo rental store.

"What's wrong?" he muttered.

I shrugged and casually pulled my cigarettes from my pocket, sticking one between my lips and lighting it without a second thought. I inhaled deeply and sighed, letting the nicotine flood through my veins and calm my raging heart. Too bad it failed, and miserably too.

He shook his head and rested the side of his face on a fist, his elbow propped up on his knee, so he could look at me. "You're lying."

I took another drag off my cigarette and glared at him. It was a shame that that seemed to failed as well. He only sighed and shook his head again, dropping his hands in his lap.

"You're a piece of work, have I ever told you that?"

I snorted quietly. "Yeah, yet you haven't managed to kick me to the curb yet."

He frowned and the sight made my heart melt. "Why do you say that, Riku? You're my best friend. Hell, you have been for years. Why would I just suddenly kick you to the curb?"

I rolled my eyes and took another long drag off my cigarette. "You say that now, but just wait," I said as I exhaled. 'You'll hate me before this wedding is over with.'

He sighed but kept the silence that hung between us. I only dared to break it when I thought it was going to suffocate me.

"Sora… Do you really love Kairi? Or are you just marrying her because everyone thinks you should?"

I felt him slightly in surprise and glanced over at him. He was looking at me critically, his brow furrowed and his eyes intense. His eyes. They were always so blue, always so filled with emotion. I wondered what they looked like when his mind was consumed by lust, clouded and full of need. The thought sent a shiver rippling through my body.

"Of course I love her, Riku." He sighed and looked away from me. "You asked me that same question the other day. Why? Have you heard something from someone? From Kairi?"

I shook my head. "No. I haven't heard anything. I was just curious. You know it's always been set in stone that the two of you would date and get married and have children. It's been like that since we were kids. So… I just…you know… I was just wondering."

Sora frowned but nodded his head. "Yeah, I see where you're coming from, but you know that Kairi and I ignored all the rumors that were thrown towards our relationship. It's ours and no one else's."

I laughed sadly and nodded. "Of course it is. Whose could it be but yours?"

He looked at me again with a furrowed brow but I kept my mouth shut. So many different things were swirling through my brain at the moment that I didn't want to open my big mouth and say something that would completely ruin everything. There was a thin line between something that could ruin our friendship or destroy the wedding, and was terrified to see how much wait that line could hold.

I took one last long drag from my cigarette before snuffing it out on the pavement and tossing it in the trashcan beside me. I turned to him and gave him my fake smile once again. "Well, I guess we should head on our way, huh? Kairi's probably going nuts because she hasn't heard from you."

He shrugged and pushed himself up from the step. I followed suit and waited for him outside while he went in to take care of the final touches to renting the tuxedos. He had quite a group on his side. I was his best man, Tidus and Wakka were ushers, and the boy of one of Kairi's friends was to be the ring bearer. Tidus and Wakka had been ordered to try and control their wild hairstyles since Sora was being forced to and the young boy had been bribed to make sure that he was on his best behavior at the wedding. All in all, it was a bunch of kids that was going to be standing before that patiently awaiting, and very mature, crowd.

I was just about to go inside to check on him when Sora came out of the store, grumbling angrily beneath his breath. I smirked. He was cute even when he was angry. His cheeks were tinged a slight shade of red and his eyes burned with frustration. I just wanted to hug him and make it all go away, but I knew that it wouldn't go over well at all.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and followed him silently to the car, his barely there curses fluttering through the air like the most delicate of sakura blossoms. I wanted to ask him what the problem was, maybe just to get him riled a bit more for my own sake, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wasn't supposed to be playing with him. He was my best friend, albeit the love of my life. I wasn't supposed to start any spats that resembled lover's quarrels because we weren't lovers. Only friends…only friends…

I sighed.

Kairi was very lucky girl.

We were plenty far away from the tuxedo shop and nearing the rendezvous point Kairi had told us to meet her at when I finally decided to open my mouth.

"Is everything okay, Sora?"

"Yes, everything's fine," he snapped. "Why?"

I laughed. "Because you would have just torn my head from my neck with your bare hands had they not been needed on the steering wheel."

He growled quietly and I chuckled. He sounded like an overly protective house cat. But, after that, silence fell in the car once again. I sighed heavily.

"So…?"

He growled again. "So what? The tuxedo people pissed me off, is that so bad?"

I laughed at his anger. "Ah, it's getting to you."

"What's getting to me? Nothing is getting to me."

I laughed again. "Of course it is. The stress of the wedding and all the preparations is finally starting to catch up with you." I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and smiled the crooked smile I only saved for him. "But don't worry. It'll go okay. You and Kairi will be married and you'll leave this place and forget about everyone you knew here."

"Riku…"

I turned my head to see him looking at me sadly, a mixture of pain, confusion, and frustration in his eyes. I shrugged.

"What? It's the truth."

The next thing I knew I was almost thrown headfirst out the windshield and squealing tires and honking horns filled the surroundings. I blinked, thankful for my seatbelt, and glanced at Sora curiously. The look that he was giving me sent a surge of need rushing through me. He was angry with me, there was no denying that, but there was something else beneath it all…something that I couldn't put my finger on. It was almost like he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind he knew how I felt about him and he wanted to slap me for it.

But no slap came. Instead, tears welled in his eyes and threatened to fall over. I sucked in a breath and longed to reach out and comfort him but I knew that he wouldn't let me do it anyway. I would just be shoved away.

"How the fuck can you say that, Riku? You think that we're just going to leave here the morning after the wedding and never come back?" he shouted. I stayed silent, my eyes locked on the dashboard in front of me. "Don't tell me that it's what you want." His voice had quieted to a sad, accusing whisper.

I willed myself to keep my mouth shut, but my heart outweighed my mind by a long shot. "No. It's not what I want. I want you to stay here forever, but I know that you won't." I finally looked at him to see that he was eyeing me with curiosity and a bit of anger.

I smiled. "You can't keep pretending that you're going to stay around here forever, Sora. You're the same as me, always talking about getting out of this god-forsaken place. Now's your chance so why don't you take it? Leave these memories behind you and welcome the new ones."

He furrowed his brow and shook his head, frowning. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Riku, but you need to get over it."

He checked over his shoulder and slowly started to move the car again, earning a few more angry curses from passersby. I longed to reach out and shake his shoulders, to scream at him that it was him that had gotten into me, that it was him who had been into me for years now, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Was I really this weak? Hadn't I always been the stronger one? What a bad time for role-reversal.

A few minutes of tense silence later, Sora pulled the car up the curve of the posh hotel where the reception was to be held. Kairi needed him to be there for "help" on deciding on the arrangements to use.

We both climbed out of the car and Sora locked it with the remote control, a loud "bleeping" noise filling the parking garage. He looked at me warily and I stared back, every muscle in my body tense. He sighed and broke the eye contact, walking around the car so he was on my side.

"You're going home?"

I nodded.

"I could have given you a ride."

I shrugged.

He laughed. "What? Are you not talking to me now or something? Man, do you have your priorities backwards. It's me that shouldn't be talking to you."

I furrowed my brow and frowned.

He smiled sadly and shook his head. "Well, I guess I'll talk to you later, whenever you decide to get your head out of your ass and realize that I didn't do anything wrong."

When he turned on his heel and started to walk away, I felt the first little piece of my heart fall off. It had cracked a long time ago, but had somehow managed to stay together. I knew why. It was because of him. Even though he was with Kairi, he always managed to find time to spend with me. But now he was walking away from me, angry and frustrated. I couldn't let that happen.

I reached out before he was out of my grasp and clasped onto a wrist. He stopped walking and turned to look at me quizzically, his head cocked to the side cutely.

"What is it, Riku?" he muttered, anger hardening his words.

I smiled and pulled him to me, enveloping him in a quick hug before letting him go. "Kairi is a very lucky girl. And I'm glad that you're happy with her."

The words sent knife after knife into my heart, shredding it into millions of little pieces, but I kept my fake "I'm happy for you" smile on my face as he let his eyes search my features. I don't know if he found what he was looking for, but he sighed a few minutes later and shook his head.

"I'll talk to you later, Riku."

I nodded and watched him walk away until he disappeared around the corner ahead of us. I sighed and made my way as well, leaving the cool, dampness of the parking garage for the hot, humidity of the outside air. Why they decided to get married in the middle of the summer made no sense to me at all.

Shaking my head, I pushed my sleeves up on my arms and walked to my small apartment, my long hair shielding the tears that were running down my face from the rest of the world.

TBC...
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A/N: And voila! Hehe... It's short, yes, as all the other chapters that I have completed are. I'm doing that on purpose. The chapter length hasn't exceeded four pages yet. ::sighs:: I'm not planning on making this a huge thing. It'll probably be 10 chapters at the most, and that's only because the chapters are so short...

Anyway...I hope you all enjoyed. Sorry for any typos, and if you could be so kind to tell me what you think I would love your forever!! Hehe...::huggles to everyone::...