This is a little story I discussed with my amazing friend/sister Lady Lilliana. It does involve OCs, 'shameless self-insertion' as she so aptly puts it (Tei is me and Rei is Lilly), and some mild OOC-ness.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Akatsuki, however much I want to. I do own Tei though. I partially own Anno and Rimu (who aren't in the first chapter anyway) and Rei belongs to Lady Lilliana.

It all started with Tei and Tobi. But then again, it always started with Tei and Tobi. Of course, Tei and Tobi didn't really make too much sense, so they tended to do stuff for no real reason other than they felt like it.

No, it is definitely the how rather than the who or the why that matters in these situations.

Tei and Tobi were talking about birthdays.

"And so, that's why my birthday is the easiest to remember," Tei finished proudly. She had managed to keep Tobi's attention for at least a minute and a half, which was practically unheard of when the speaker wasn't currently in possession of any food, toys or games.

"Hooray!" Tobi squealed. Yes, he squealed. It was an irritating habit he'd picked up somewhere between joining Akatsuki and meeting Rei and Tei, so nobody mentioned it much for fear of incurring Woman's Wrath, such as the One Week Strike incident (see Lady Lilliana's Sweet Angels for more details on that particular occurrence). After all, Tei found Tobi's squeal rather amusing, and Rei and Tei were permanent allies, along with their very-almost-permanent ally Konan, who only ever ditched them for Pein.

It was at this point that Tei and Tobi began to dance the happy dance. This involved twirling around on tiptoes, waving their arms in the air an reciting obscure poetry.

Although this was now accepted as the normal behaviour for the two by the other members of the Akatsuki, the entrance of Itachi and Rei into the lounge area did prompt reactions. Seeing the dance, Itachi raised an eyebrow, though he had long since recognized that he would never find any sanity in the hideout or among the Akatsuki, which was, contrary to popular opinion, just the way he liked it.

Rei, who had grown up with Tei and was incredibly used to her friends mad mannerisms, as well as having a few of her own, fell over in stitches of laughter.

"Ah! That's right!" Tei jumped up and down excitedly. "When is Ita-san's birthday?"

Itachi scowled. "I told you not to call me that, Telaki."

"But… why not?"

"Because it is irritating," Itachi sniffed, unperturbed by the purple-haired girl rolling around in fits of hysterics on the ground by his feet.

"Rei-chan, are you okay?" Tobi inquired, poking Rei with a stick that he'd apparently found somewhere on the floor. This was not actually surprising, as Hidan had a tendency to leave sharp objects everywhere for his rituals and Kakuzu had a tendency to blunt them in order to annoy him.

Rei wiped her eyes and sat up. "Just the sight of you two… hold on, Tobi, is that a bat?"

"Yes!" Tobi exclaimed happily, opening his cloak a little to show the small night-flyer hanging upside-down inside. "His name is Bitey and it's his birthday in five days! So I was wondering about everyone else's birthdays!"

"And whose birthdays don't you know?" Itachi said, trying to sound bored (though of course he wasn't- he was trying to figure out where Tobi had found a bat and managed to tame it, but really couldn't be bothered to ask).

"Ita-san's and Leader-sama's!" Tei punched the air triumphantly. "Everyone was very cooperative once we gave them cookies!"

"Where are our cookies?" Rei sulked, noting a severe lack of cookies in the room. Tei grinned and produced a plate of warm, gooey, choc-chip cookies from a small compartment underneath the coffee table.

Itachi reluctantly-but-not-really-so-reluctantly took a cookie. "Why do you have so many hiding places?"

"Because I don't trust Kakuzu!" was the indignant reply.

"Tei-chan! Let's go ask Leader-sama now!"

Tei followed the excited Tobi out of the room while pretending to be an aeroplane.

Unfortunately for them, what they didn't know was that Pein was currently getting out of the shower, and therefore would not be wearing anything other than a fluffy white towel and a lot of piercings when they barged into his bedroom.

Okay, it's a little weird, but it came out of my head, so that shouldn't really be much of a surprise. At least, it isn't now. You should check out Lady Lilliana's story Sweet Angels, it's about the One Week Strike incident mentioned and is absolutely fricking hilarious.