Life sucks and then you die.
Or, life sucks and then the love of your life dies. As well as your father and your mother. Hell, even your favorite horse from life on the farm dies.
You know who doesn't die, though? The love of your boyfriend's life. She comes back. Dead doesn't work on her. Not that it should, necessarily. It is wrong to say that someone should die, Regina guessed. She wasn't sure. She was on her fifth – er, sixth – glass of rum.
Anyways, the only people who don't come back are the ones that Regina loved. And the only person who didn't die, didn't get put out of her misery, was Regina ; she just got sent to different worlds where time stood still so that should could live forever, or so it seemed.
Regina laughed once to herself even though nothing was funny and poured herself more rum. She sat alone at the bar in Granny's diner. Everyone had left hours ago. Granny had locked up, but Regina was used to using her magic to sneak back in after hours if she ever needed a quiet drink. Cora had done that a lot when she had been in town. She liked making her plans in total secrecy, which was what the closed diner allowed.
So that was where she found herself: all alone, as she was used to. The loathsome Charming's were home with their new baby. Emma and Hook went for a walk, probably drooling over each other. Hell, even Rumplestiltskin wasn't around to mope with her as he was off with his newfound bride.
And of course, Robin was not here. He was with his family, the love of his life and their son. That was where Regina was supposed to be.
She had imagined the night playing out so differently. Her, Robin and Rowland would have a nice evening at Granny's. Then she would bring Henry with them, and the four of them would go back to her house and play some board games or watch a movie. They would be the family she always craved. Henry would teach Rowland how to play video games. Robin would read with her on the couch. It was so perfect; so heart-wrenchingly perfect compared to what the night actually consisted of.
Instead of her night with the three boys she cared about most, the ignorant Miss Swan took matters into her own hands and brought back the woman Robin really wanted to spend the night with; the woman he wanted to read with while Rowland played video games; the woman he really loved.
She was pulled out of her bleak thoughts when the door to Granny's opened and a certain leather-clad pirate came waltzing in.
Regina sighed at her old friend, if that's what you'd call him. "I was hoping for some privacy."
"As was I, hence why I came to a closed diner," Hook responded as he sat on the stool to Regina's right. "I forgot I wasn't the only one Cora taught how to sneak into this place."
"I don't care. I was here first."
"Physically, you may have been here first. However, I laid claim hours ago by leaving my rum on the counter at which you are currently seated. And I see you've ever so politely helped yourself to said bottle."
Regina rolled her eyes and pushed the bottle of rum away from herself. "What are you even doing here? I'm sure you and Emma had a lovely evening planned, so why don't you just run along?"
Hook took a long breath. "My evening did not go as lovely as I had hoped."
She studied his face for a long time before believing that he was truly unhappy. She then waved her hand and a second glass appeared on the table, into which she poured him some of his own rum.
"So what's got you down, my love?"
"I don't have to tell you that."
"I know you don't have to tell me that. I just figured since we're all alone here we may as well be miserable together."
Regina considered it for a moment. Whether it was the alcohol, her sadness, or the fact that when Hook had first entered the diner the first word that popped into her head was "friend", she decided to take him up on his offer.
She tried to find the words to explain that she felt like everyone else got fresh starts but her. Emma went to jail, Snow killed Cora, Rumplestiltskin is the reason behind all the evil Regina had learned… yet she was the only person who kept getting hit with her past mistakes. She couldn't possibly tell him all that, so instead she just said quietly, "I just… I can't seem to run fast enough. My past is always catching up to me."
For whatever reason, Hook seemed to understand. Or at least he didn't press her for more of an explanation. "Not even the Jolly Roger could outrun the past." He took a long swig of rum.
"And what's got you so down?" she asked with more curiosity than she had intended.
"The past."
"Oh, so that's why he understands. That's why he's here beside her," Regina thought to herself.
They clinked their glasses together, and they each finished the remains of their drink.
ONE HOUR LATER
"And then I said to Smee, if you bring another lass aboard my ship that looks like a sea monster and carries the odor of one as well, I'll send ye both overboard to bathe with the fish!"
Regina nearly choked on her drink as Hook laughed just as hard at his story.
"You must have had so many fun adventures out at sea," Regina said once she had finally caught her breath.
"Aye. From what I've seen, the Enchanted Forest was no stranger to adventure either."
"It was… eventful."
"Your castle, in particular, was quite eventful," he said with a wink.
Regina smiled at the memory. After he had broken in, Regina invited him for a drink. To no one's surprise, they were soon in her bedchamber. They'd never spoken of it again, but Regina would be lying if she said she never thought of it.
"Your ship was eventful too, though." Hook raised an eyebrow at her so she added, "Other kinds of eventful."
"Ah, yes. The two villains paired with the heroes. 'Twas very… annoying."
Regina swallowed her drink almost too quickly to agree. "Yes! Everyone always goes on and on about how charming the Charming's are."
"They've got nothing on us," Hook slurred.
"You know, Captain, I didn't want to see you walk through that door tonight, but you're turning out to be an excellent drinking partner," she smiled as she poured a little more into both of their glasses.
"Are you surprised? The first day we met we drank together. It's tradition!" he exclaimed, drinking the newly poured rum.
"To old habits dying hard!" Regina yelled as she raised her glass. Once more they clinked their glasses and finished yet another drink.
ONE HOUR LATER
Regina had rarely ever drank too much. She was a queen, after all. But this evening, be it her low tolerance for alcohol or the fact that she was sharing her company with a pirate who downed rum like water, she was sure she had drank too much.
She wondered if drunkenness always took the same pattern: loneliness, awkwardness, silliness, then seriousness. That was how her intoxication had played out, at least.
"May I ask you something?"
"Yes, I could conjure up more alcohol for us using my magic," she answered for him with a laugh.
He smiled. "No, it's not that… Do you remember when we spoke on my ship in Neverland? You spoke about villains getting happy endings." Regina rubbed her eyes and nodded. "How do you feel about that subject now?"
"I think that subject is crap," Regina giggled, slurring her words. Hook laughed along too. "I think villains don't get happy anything. Things may seem like they're going great, but then life will just take it away from us. That's how I feel."
"A bit austere, don't you think?"
Regina waved her hand. "Whatever. Your girlfriend kind of screwed me over tonight." Then, after some thought, she added, "Well, I guess I kind of screwed myself over tonight. Not me, past me. I'm rambling."
Hook nodded and then added, "I don't have a girlfriend."
She looked over at him to see if he was joking. But all she found was him turning his glass around in his good hand and staring at nothing.
"Alright, Hook. I tell you about my night, you tell me about your night. Deal?"
"Deal."
She looked down at her glass of rum and made it vanish with the slow wave of her hand. She didn't want to numb the pain anymore. She needed to deal with this. Hook pushed his glass away, too.
"A long time ago, I killed someone. Lot's of people, actually," she rushed out, pausing to give him time to comment.
"If you're waiting for me to pass judgment, you needn't. I hardly have room for that, Your Majesty."
For the first time that night, Regina smiled for reasons other than the alcohol. She'd found that most people- hell, everyone- judged her for her former actions. Even people who said they wouldn't. It's easy to make promises before there are any obstacles. She had even thought that Robin had secret opinions about her past.
Hook was genuine, though. She knew he was because she knew his past. They had first met after he killed her guards and knocked a woman unconscious, after all. Regina knew he was wrong for doing that, but what room did she have to judge? The same amount that he had: none.
"One of those people… was Robin's wife. She mothered his son. He loved her. He still loves her to this day, even while she was dead. But then… she came back. Emma brought her back from the Enchanted Forest and now… now… now everything is ruined."
She felt tears coming to her eyes but she turned and quickly wiped them away, hoping that Hook wouldn't notice. Whether he did or not, he made no comment.
Without any remarks about what she had just said, he started his story.
"Emma and I were meant to have a lovely night. Earlier, I told her that I traded my prized possession, my ship, to get a bean and travel to her to warn her about the danger her family was in. That was what finally won Emma over, of course. She's all about bloody heroics. I couldn't leave what was well enough alone, though. I needed to win her over fairly, without any tricks or lies. So tonight when we left, I told her that it was Neal who told me to find her. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have come."
"That was noble of you," Regina told him honestly, with a hint of surprise in her tone.
"Thank you, love. Not very noble of me to be regretting it now though, aye? One mention of Neal and Emma was gone. I could see it in her eyes. He loved her enough to send another man to save her and let him get all the glory. And she loves him so much that all that said glory is wasted on the other man. Neal may be dead… but he's not gone."
"It's hard to compete with a corpse," Regina said, talking about Marian just as much as Neal.
Hook nodded and took a deep breath, stretching and moving around for the first time in several minutes. "I think…" he started slowly, "That if Robin truly cares for you and loves and respects you as much as you deserve, he'll realize that what you did is in the past. Should he choose to stay with his wife, perhaps it was simply not meant to be."
"Not meant to be," she repeated. "Are you and Miss Swan meant to be?"
"No," he answered, quicker than she was expecting. "I have come to accept that we are not meant to be. For a long time, I think I was forcing something that just wasn't there. Emma has all the people in her life she needs. She has her parents and her son and her new brother and the memory of her true love. It would be selfish of me to ask her to give another part of herself to someone like me."
"Someone like you?"
"A pirate."
"Hm. A pirate and an evil queen. What were you asking about happy endings?"
He laughed once, but the happiness didn't reach his eyes. Sometimes his façade faltered, and it was then that she saw how he really felt. He could drink and laugh and joke all he wanted, but Hook was sad. All the alcohol in the world couldn't fill his emptiness, as much as he was trying to hide that fact.
"I think it's time I went home," Regina told him as she stood up.
"I'm starting to think the pirate and the evil queen need each other for that happy ending," he said quietly to the wall behind the counter they were sitting at. She wasn't sure he even noticed she had risen.
"I'm starting to think the rum is just now starting to hit you."
That got his attention as he turned and realized she was leaving.
"Will you be all right here alone?"
He continued to just stare at her, as if he was just not seeing her for the first time all night, or perhaps the first time in years.
Regina looked at him quizzically for a few moments before clearing her throat. "Well, thank you, Hook. You helped me get through this awful night, and you were good company."
He continued to stare at her. Regina started to leave but then paused. She turned back, waved her hand, and made the remaining alcohol vanish.
With that, Regina walked home, swaying a bit. Her drunkenness was more apparent now. And luckily, her sadness was not. The combination of alcohol and laughter had numbed quite a bit of her pain.
In an odd and unexpected way, Hook had fixed her a little.
THE FOLLOWING MORNING
The repeated knocks on her front door interrupted by incessant pressing on her doorbell woke Regina from her slumber. Last night she hadn't even been able to change out of her dress and into her pajamas. Her hair was messed, her makeup smudged, but she stumbled out of bed and walked downstairs. She could only manage to keep one eye open, and she kept her hand on the wall as she walked.
So imagine her disappointment when she successfully made it to the front door, heaved it open, and found Captain Hook standing on her porch.
"You?" was all she could say, her voice hoarse from the previous night's activities mixed with the little sleep she had gotten
"Ah, good morning to you too, love!" he said cheerfully. He was leaning against her doorframe with a stupid grin on his face.
"I thought it was an emergency. I thought something had happened to Henry." She rubbed her face with her hands and walked back inside her house, leaving the door open for Hook to follow.
"Ye look as beautiful as you did last night," he told her as he looked at her dress and her makeup. He was aiming for it to be funny and ironic, but Regina merely rolled her eyes and collapsed on the couch in her living room.
"Listen, I'm sure pirates don't get hangovers, or maybe they do but just continue drinking so that they never have to face them, but I'm actually not up for company right now. So if you could close the door on your way out, I would-"
"Do you believe in destiny, your highness?"
"What?"
"Destiny. Fate. The stars aligning. Do you believe in that sort of contrivance?"
"Hook, what are you-"
"Think about it. I needed a ticket to Storybrooke, and you needed someone to kill your mother. Whatever the circumstances-"
"You lied and didn't follow through with your word," she groggily interrupted.
"Whatever the circumstances," he repeated. "We both ended up here. With other people. Our paths always meeting but never actually crossing."
"Hook, enough. I think you're still drunk." Regina stood up and started to walk away. That only made Hook speak louder.
"And then on the same night, our partners both leave us. And we just so happen to both decide to go to the diner to drink our sorrows away."
"It's the only place in town I would consider. The Rabbit Hole is highly inappropriate for both a mayor and a queen." She was finally starting to wake up more, though she wasn't sure why she took the time to explain that to him when he clearly wasn't listening.
"And now you want to leave town, and I have a way to get you there. My ship."
"Is that what this whole thing has been about?" she asked angrily, turning back to face him. "You wanted to reminisce about old times and laugh with me while I was drunk? You got me to let my walls down just so you could start spewing bullshit about destiny?"
"Give to me one reason why I'm wrong! We struggled together as villains, we struggled together as heroes. Why can't we just be who we are? Together."
"Where is this all coming from?" she demanded.
"Last night we spoke of happy endings. You pointed out what kind of people we are and implied that that is why we can't be happy. And it all merely clicked in front of me, as if my compass had jumped out of my pocket and appeared right in my face. Things haven't worked out very well for us, have they? People always leave or die. We're judged and feared and the only constant we've both had in every part of our lives… has been each other."
"You thought of all this while you were drunk last night?"
He shrugged. "I do some of my best thinking after hours of drinking whilst in the company of a pretty lady."
Regina sighed, and chose her words carefully, not wanting to hurt the man who stood before her. Though he was putting on an act, Hook was heartbroken and fragile. She didn't want to hurt him. "Hook, you're bored, and you're sad. You're a pirate. I'm a queen. I'm leaving town, you're staying here in Storybrooke." After pointing out all the reasons why Hook's idea was ridiculous, she still didn't see a change in his expression. It was as if he hadn't heard her, or just decided it didn't matter. "Hook," she said and waited until he looked at her to make sure she had his attention. "I'm not some wench in a saloon that you can just talk into bed when you're lonely."
That wiped the look off his face. "Is that what you reckon this is? Darling, if I wanted that, I'd be more charming, and we'd still be drinking. I went to the diner last night because I was melancholy, and it turns out I needed a friend. I'm here today because the drunkenness provided me with some clarity rather than the usual bewilderment."
"Clarity!" she threw her hands up in the air. "You're sad, I'm sad, we both have broken hearts, we're hungover… "clarity" is not the word I would use for this experience."
Regina wanted nothing more than to be back in bed yesterday morning, before everything got messy; when Robin was her boyfriend, and Hook was just a silly pirate that was somehow always in her life. Everything was so perfect then. If only she could go back to yesterday morning.
"All right, all right," he put his hand up to signal his surrender. "I can see that my timing is not superb, although if you think I'm thrilled that I realized the girl whom I should be with is not the girl I'm in love with on the night said girl broke my heart, you are sorely mistaken. That is neither here nor there, though. I came here today for three reasons. The first was to tell you of my realization. The second was to tell you this: Regina, we've known each other nigh a long time. We've been partners, we've been enemies, mates. We've betrayed each other and helped each other. We know each other's secrets and regrets. We've been by the other's side all along, no matter what. So if anything should be confusing us right now, it's why we haven't been together all along. And I only had 3 swigs of rum today, so this is truly me speaking, not the alcohol."
Regina started to smile but then stopped herself. This was ridiculous. This was what pirates did: they named their treasure, did whatever it took to get it, and then moved on to something newer. She didn't want to be that for him. She'd be better off alone.
So she didn't tell him how beautifully he had described their relationship, or how when he put it that way it did make sense for them to be together. Instead she just cleared her throat and crossed her arms. "And the third thing you wanted to say to me?"
Hook seemed surprised that that was all she had to say. He wasn't one to beg, though, so he collected himself quickly. "Ah, yes, the third and final portion of my visit. My ship. You and Henry may live aboard it while you travel to the Enchanted Forest. So long as you realize that I'd be joining you."
LATER THAT DAY
Hook was leaning overboard of his ship, resting his elbows on the side while he turned his compass over and over in his hand distractedly. He wanted to use the silent dusk to gather his thoughts.
It had been a few hours since Regina had politely kicked him out of her house. Hook knew that was coming. He knew she would be angry with him rather than happy. He knew she'd deny everything, including him, and refuse to believe his words. He knew everything, except how to properly convey his feelings for her.
In retrospect, he probably shouldn't have attempted to confess his love for her after they'd been drinking after they'd been dumped after they'd been happily in relationships. He should have been a gentleman and walked her home and left. He should have given this more thought and told her once she wasn't so fragile and once he wasn't so…
He couldn't think of a better word besides "stupid."
But alas, Hook did not handle the situation perfectly.
He had only ever told two other women of his feelings. Milah had been the easiest. Hook had never cared before her, he had never been hurt. When he loved her, he simply told her, not thinking about any consequences. And Milah had been so desperate for adventure and excitement that it hadn't taken her very long to fall for him as well. He rescued her, in a way. She had reciprocated his feelings immediately.
Then there was Emma. She had been simple to read. She'd been hurt so much in the past, all she wanted was someone who wouldn't let her down. It had taken months, but he finally proved his feelings to her. Of course, it hadn't last long, but it still was a situation that was easy for him to figure out.
That led to Regina. Infuriating, stubborn, Regina. She was not easy read. In fact, she was impossible to read. It was easy to be her friend, Hook didn't really have to care about his actions. He didn't have to impress her or win her over. But now… he couldn't for the life of him figure out how to get her to see him in a new way. She didn't want to be rescued, she didn't care about not getting hurt- she was strong enough to handle it. So what did she want?
Hook was stuck. He had chosen the wrong words, showed up at her doorstep, offered her his blasted ship and she still sent him away.
He sighed at his compass. The thing that was supposed to guide him sat in his hands useless. He didn't care about north, south, east, or west. He needed some real guidance.
It was as if the universe heard his complaints because a sudden noise behind him gave him a fright and he almost dropped the device into the sea.
The noise repeated and seemed to be coming closer. He turned and realized it was the sound of high heels on his ship, and it was Regina in the shoes walking towards him.
"Hello, Captain. I didn't mean to frighten you."
"You couldn't frighten me if you tried, darling," he lied. "Though I am surprised to see you. You seemed rather exasperated this morning."
She laughed and stood beside him, leaning over the ship just as he had been doing before. "Yes, exasperated is one word for it." Hook went back to leaning next to her. "I came to apologize to you, Hook. We've known each other a long time, and I shouldn't have been so careless with you today."
Hook wanted to point out that she was also rather careless with him last night, and plenty of other times, but he thought better of it.
"I may not always like you, but you're my friend. And I appreciate you wanting to be there for me."
He took out the rum he always kept on him and handed her the bottle to show that there was no bad blood between them. She rolled her eyes and took a swig. "If I lived on your ship, I'd have a drinking problem by the time the sun set."
"It's only a problem if you're not enjoying yourself. And I seem to remember us having a bloody good time last night," he told her before remembering how the evening ended. "Well, for the most part."
"That's how it always is with us. Fun, for the most part. Even that first day we met, we had drinks and made our way to my bedchamber; but if I recall, just a few hours later fought about when you needed to leave for Wonderland."
Hook remembered it perfectly. "Aye, you wanted me to leave immediately. I told you I wanted to take some time to prepare, but really I just wanted to stay with you a bit longer."
Regina smiled and reached over, taking the compass out of his hand and studying it. She started to walk around the ship with it, Hook watching. She eventually just stood still and studied her surroundings with it, the mast, the helm, and finally the captain.
"I need more time." She said it simply, like there was no need to explain what she was referring to. Hook understood her, though. Milah needed to be rescued. Emma needed to not be hurt. Regina needed patience.
"Then time is what you shall have."
Regina nodded and he could see there was more on her mind. Eventually her eyes met his. "Sailing together will be a good start. I already told Henry about living on the Jolly Roger, and he's so excited. I assume you have the proper quarters for him to sleep in?"
Hook smiled at her for a long time, and she returned it fully. He wasn't sure what had changed her mind, or perhaps, what had simply showed her that her mind was already made, but he didn't care.
"There's plenty of room for the boy. He can have the first mate's sleeping quarters. The first mate will just have to bunk with me," he winked.
They began to walk off together to collect Henry and Regina's things. Regina wanted to leave right away, and Hook wanted to take a few days to prepare his ship and give his guests time to pack. They bickered about it lightly, until Regina gently slipped her hand into his and their fingers intertwined.
After that, there didn't seem to be a reason to be anything but happy.
A/N: So just a little fluffy one-shot to help with the hiatus and whatnot. I had fun writing this, so I hope you enjoyed reading it! Let me know in the comments! Also, to the readers on my multi-chaptered fic: I will begin working on that right away. Thanks for reading!