Bound to you.
Chapter One.
At now twelve years old, Rey knew her daughter was fated to a destiny that was beyond anything she could comprehend. Her bloodline had basically written her daughters fate for her, no matter how much Rey over the years tried to quieten her daughters expanding talents. As a loving mother, Rey thought more of her daughters increasing talent with the force as more of a curse than a gift. After all, her father was talented, and Rey shivered at the mere thought that her raven-haired daughter would end up anything like the Monster that Kylo Ren became.
When Pan was born, far from the eyes of the first order and certainty far from the hands of the remaining rebellion Rey knew that the identity of the man who sired her daughter must remain secret, until the both of them were ready for the consequences that such a shocking revelation would bring.
Pan was nothing like her father, she had an incredible talent with the force. But chose to not use it, she grew up watching her mother struggle refusing to use even the slightest ounce of the force to help them over the years they were on Jakku. To her, the force was nothing but a gift that shouldn't be abused, no matter who was whispering to her.
Nearly a teenager, Pan was known for her kindness, compassion and sheer determination. Rey had done the best she could raising a force sensitive child, she had to always vigilant that she might not be the only one talking to or influencing her daughter.
But sometimes Rey was in complete was in awe of her daughter, not just in her increasing power but how much Pan looked like Kylo. Her long raven hair and just such plain beauty that not even the suns of Jakku could scorch away. In these awe moments, Rey couldn't help but think what Kylo would think of his daughter? Would he love her as Rey did or would she be used for more political gain or perhaps…? trained in the ways of a sith lord.
Rey had shut herself off from the force, it was one of the last things Luke Skywalker had forced her to learn… perhaps he saw Pan long before Rey even knew her future. The bond that tied them together had been dead since she left Kylo behind on Crait.
All she remembered was Kylo's face when he realised, she had chosen the rebellion over him. Even thinking of it made Rey's heartache, had she made the right decision by not standing by his side as he took over as Supreme Leader of the First Order.
After Crait, she went to rebellion base after base trying to hide from Kylo. But where she went, only death followed. Rey knew that she would have to leave everything and everyone behind when she figured out, she was pregnant, she couldn't run from him with a babe in her arms.
Kylo Ren wanted her dead. She knew that he would stop at nothing until she died by his own hands. She had broken his heart and would be punished accordingly.
Jakku was the only place Rey knew that Kylo wouldn't even think of following her, they had spent so many slow and quiet conversations talking about the hardship and cruelty of her childhood as only been slightly better than being sold as a slave. It was not even in the First Orders dominion, such a worthless planet with nothing more than scavengers and outposts. It was the perfect place to give birth to Pan, far from anyone who knew who she was.
However, now it was time to leave. Rey had caught wind of what the First Order was planning, and she dreaded that not even Jakku would be safe. The First Order was going system to system gathering Force sensitive children… and not even outlying planets such as Jakku. A few scrap dealers had their fingers crossed that their scavengers or those in the outlands would be chosen by the first order, as there was a handsome reward per child that was given to the First Order.
All Children under the power of the First Order were to be registered on a galactic wide surveillance system, and those who prove worthy enough were to go to the First Orders new
Pan stood out from the other children on Jakku, and Rey wouldn't be able to be sure that the scrap dealers wouldn't be above stealing a child from her mother just to cash in on this reward.
So, after so many years, Rey had called a friend from the Alliance to come to get her. Something she was very wary of, there would be a lot of judgement from her former friends who would likely question why Rey had simply abandoned them all those years ago. Even worse it would be obvious to Pan's grandmother, dark hair and beautifully freckled skin… Rey might as well announce that she had Kylo Ren's daughter and betrayed all of them.
Finn was growing impatient and very nervous, he had not seen Rey for over a decade and then only yesterday Rose told him to be here at this precise time and spot to simply pick Rey up like she had not even been gone. He knew that Rose had been in slight contact with Rey since she left, but Rose had remained very guarded about anything Rey told her or even how she was. Rey for better or worse had simply dropped off the face of the galaxy, she had left him without any explanation.
Rey suddenly appeared out the desert with a smile on her face, something he had hardly seen even before Crait. She pulled him into a hug even before he could even think of objecting to the idea, which he quickly ignored and hug her back. She looked exactly the same as he remembered, and smelt like the sun and sand that drowned Jakku.
She pulled away from their long embrace, but her smile was gone and instead, there was this serious face. Like the one, she usually had before asking for favour…
"I need you to not freak out?" She said before she whistled. Poe was taken a back, that was a bit peculiar. He saw movement out in the nearby foothills, had Rey picked up a stray?
"Remain calm" Rey said, before the much smaller person Finn saw from the distance was now closer to see that it was a child Rey had signalled. The child hid behind Rey clinging onto her arm, Finn had to laugh. Since was Rey the type to take in strays, she barely tolerated the robots.
Pan removed her goggles and facemask, looking up at the strange man that only a moment ago her mother had embraced. "Hello, I am Pan" she smiled, attempting to be polite.
Finn first smiled at the child, what beautiful eyes she had. But a sense of unease started to settle in his mind. He laughed nervously. What a striking resemblance to….
"No" Finn panicked as he stepped away from Rey and Pan. "You have a daughter? How… and when did this happen?!" He was in shock. Was this why Rey had left all those years ago? "Is she why you are out here?" he asked.
Rey sighed in relief "Once we are off Jakku, I will tell you everything" She ushered Finn into his own ship with Pan in tow. She needed to get Pan to safety and quickly before anyone picks up her force signature.
Watching Jakku get smaller and smaller was something Pan thought she would never see, for so many years her own mother had said that one day they'll leave to never return. Its orange gold land was so much more beautiful from outer space, but Pan realised that everything was going to change. Her mother was going back to her friends, whom Pan had only heard about in stories some of which sounded like they were almost impossible.
Stories of small-air fighters taking down a dreadnaught, a freed slave becoming a hero and a monster.
In the control room on the opposite side of the ship, Rey sat in the co-pilot seat watching Finn attempt to look like he was busy avoiding awkwardly the looming questions that he wanted to ask. Until he gave up and turned to her with such a solemn face as Rey had disappointed him. "Almost Thirteen years… you were gone. You were by myside one minute, and then you were gone the next"
"I had to hide, after Crait… I couldn't allow everyone to be in danger. The bounty on my head made every base I went to a target, so many good and decent people died by simply giving me a home" Rey had to be honest with him, Finn had never done any wrong to her.
"I could've looked after you, it could've been just us… and Rose of course. You have been missed by her the most. I know you two have been in contact, but at least I know why she had been so secretive…I didn't realise you and Poe had the time" Finn chuckled, that god damn charm of that Pilot had always been memorising.
"Me and Poe?" Rey laughed. Before immediately stopping to the point she stopped breathing. He had safely assumed that Pan was Poe's daughter. But now, she had shot herself in the foot.
The truth hit Finn harder than anything he had felt before, his heart sunk almost spilling out onto the floor below. "You…and Kylo Ren" the air practically stood still as Finn put all the puzzle pieces together. That would certainly explain why she had to hide, and also the unexplained hunt for Rey by the first order.
But that breathless, clouded feeling in the room turned into something else. Betrayal, and the beginnings of anger. "You had a child with the most powerful Sith lords in the known universe!? "Finn was furious to the point he almost squealed in disbelief.
"I know this looks bad- "
"-Looks bad!? Finn jumped in. This was beyond bad, this would bring chaos into the alliance. Who would finance a rebellion when you have the spawn of the person you seek to destroy? "Bad doesn't cover it… You were with Kylo for a few days at the most." Finn fell silent with a dark thought coming over him.
"Did he force himself on you?" He asked quietly, just in case Pan was in ear shot. Had that vile man forced himself on Rey while she was held captive.
Rey went ridged "No, I mean… we were bound to one another by Snoke. I tried to turn him, I thought I truly was…until he killed Snoke"
"You loved him…- "
"Love? It has been so many years I don't even know" Rey looked away into the countless stars outside the ship. Trying not to think of those quiet, unspoken moments between her and Kylo all those years ago.
"You had his child. You must know how the alliance will look at this!" Finn still couldn't process what all this meant. Kylo Ren had tried to kill them several times, he had killed a number of their friends and brought the galaxy to their knees for his sheer pleasure.
"I have no other choice but to return to the alliance. Leia is one of the few force users left, she might not be Jedi, but I have no one else to help Pan" Rey knew that Finn would never forgive her for this betrayal. Not with what the First Order did to him, and all those who were forced into their armies.
"Does Pan know what she is?" Finn said bluntly. "She's a beautiful girl Rey, but who knows who has been speaking to her across the force" if young Ben Solo was tainted by the dark side as a youngling, then there was no telling who might be also in the background.
Rey remained silent for a moment, even she didn't know the true answer. Pan would certainly never tell her so, all though Rey did know she did have a few much older voices speaking to her every now and then. "I don't know. I have never told her, as far as she knows her father simply doesn't exist to us"
"So, what is your plan when the most powerful man in the known galaxy finds out that you've kept his daughter from him…. I don't even want to be on base when Leia finds out" Finn tried to quash the burning anger that was bubbling away in the pit of his stomach.
But as he looked at Rey, a girl who returned to a place that she swore she would never see again… who left everyone just for the safety of her daughter and likely everyone else. That was the type of sacrifice that Finn loved Rey for, the kind that was not made with an easy decision or a light heart.
"I have missed you" Rey quietly said. Finn caught it and immediately stood up and dragged the rather gloomy Rey into a hug. "I missed you too"
It would only take them a few hours to reach the Alliances main base, it was a planet that was one of the few that had gone under the radar. It didn't offer anything the First Order wanted, there were resources and it certainly didn't come close to its neighbouring plants for being good for a First Order outpost. It was for all purposes right under the First Orders radar, as long as the Alliance paid the right politicians then they were safe to stay.
Rey was asleep in the nearby lounge area, of which Finn didn't want to disturb. He was certain that he would end up with either a black eye or a sabre through him if he dared wake her up without a good reason to do so.
Finn couldn't wait to take Rey to the alliances new base, it was very similar to Takodana
he had remembered how Rey loved the forests all those years ago. Now she would be back in the greenery, life and beauty that she had missed out on not only in her childhood but raising Pan on Jakku. The more he thought about Rey, the more he wondered if Pan was anything like her mother…she certainly didn't look like Rey. But he hoped that Rey's compassion and loyalty would also be found in Pan, and not Kylo's murderous dark mysterious evil ways.
"You're brooding" A voice came from behind, almost scaring the life out of Finn. Pan certainly was a lot quieter than her mother, the laughed.
"I was just thinking about your mother, you two are going to love your new home" He smiled as he ushered Pan into the co-pilots chair as he sat down with hard won captains chair.
"I know" Pan tapped her head "I had a dream; my mother was in a forest. She didn't know that there was so much greenery in all the universe… she was so beautiful against the green of the forest" Pan smiled at her mother's friend, he was a scaredy cat type and she certainly wanted to be friends with him… he just had one of those trust worthy faces.
"You will love it, I am going to take you to this amazing spot where you can swim under a waterfall with the forest surrounding you" Finn smiled, there was just something about Pan that made him feel at ease…not a single sense of her father in her.
"I am glad you came to pick us up," Pan said as she played with some of the buttons in front of her. "She has missed you, she calls your name out in her sleep sometimes"
"I have missed her greatly, as everyone has" Finn sighed, everyone had long though Rey was dead or nothing more than a traitor for abandoning them in their hour of need. He looked at Pan once more, just to double check that there was no glimmer of the Supreme leader in her. "Do you know what-
"-What I am?" Pan jumped in "Of course, my mother trained me to the best of ability. It is why we had to leave Jakku… the force shows me things"
Finn grew a little nervous once more, did this mean she knows everything or perhaps just whatever side of the force wanted her to see. "So, you know everything?"
Pan laughed "No, I wish I did. I would really like to understand why I have these gifts? Why I see things when I touch people, why my dreams feel more real than other peoples and why my mother is scared for me?" The room went silent for a moment, with Finn digested the pure honesty from the young girl.
"Scared?" Finn questioned, had there been perhaps a moment where Rey had seen Pan with any hint of the dark side.
"My mother for as long as I can remember has refused to use the force, no matter how hard the task was she refused to acknowledge her gifts. Like, if she used them then she would die. So, when my own gifts showed up, the first thing I felt was fear" Pan said hoping to pry open the reason to why her mother was rather secretive.
Finn didn't want to say much, Rey being closed off the force would've been purely to hide from the First Order.
"Do you know the man in the mask?" Pan asked Finn, it was the only image Pan had ever seen from her mother. It was as if this man was haunting her mother, and perhaps that was who she was trying to hide from.
Finn went prickly, Pan's eyes might as well be a pair of giant spotlights. "I know him" panic startled to creep up his spine. If Pan was gifted in seeing things by a mere touch, then the slighted slip up from him could mean he could quite possibly he would destroy the girl's entire hopes and dreams.
The temptation to touch Finn, just to even get a glimpse of what he was hiding would be worth it. She had for so many years wondered who this man was, but her mother would have her hide if she dared used the force for selfish reasons…
But she was asleep…
Finn was pretending to click buttons and check that they were on course to the new base when he noticed Pan was no longer in the co-chair beside him. "I am really sorry" he heard a whisper behind him before he felt a hand on his own.
Pan was back on Jakku, in an outpost somewhere… she was wearing white armour with a gun in her hand. Blood was smeared on her helmet, and there was nothing but chaos surrounding her. Huts on fire, and bodies piled up in front of her.
The villagers had just been executed, none of them had a weapon of their own. Men, woman and younglings were amongst the dead, no one had been spared.
Pan felt breathless, every bone in her body told her to run. But her feet couldn't move, she could do nothing but watch the murder and destruction of a village. Then she saw him… The man in the mask, his tall dark figure stopped and looked directly at her and Pan went cold.
Was that what the dark side felt like?
Before she could even blink, she was somewhere else. A dead forest, snow covered the ground and the planet felt like it hummed like a machine. She was laying on the snow, and she had never been in so much pain before. It felt like she had been stabbed with something hot… her mother's face hovered above her own, begging her to get up. '
But she couldn't, her body felt cold. But once more she saw that man again… but this time without a mask. Blood covered the ground where he was standing, his face was also bleeding badly. "We are not done yet!" He snarled at her mother with his red lightsabre in his hand, ready for another fight.
"You're a monster!" Rey yelled as she tried to lift Finn's body off the ground.
Pan took her hand back and stepped away from Finn whose eyes grew wider by the second. The man, the one in the mask… the one who had been haunting her mother… was her father.
She felt like she was still in the visions like she had yet to been woken up. But yet Finn was right in front of her. Then she felt him, the tall man was standing in the door way. Looking at her with such an intense gaze… such a handsome face, but certainly not a friendly one.
Pan heard voices "I don't want to be alone anymore" it was her mothers' voice. "Then come with me?" Pan shook her head; how did this go from wanting to murder each other to this feeling of longing for one another.
Then she was back in the cruiser looking directly at the man "Didn't your parents ever tell you to not play with things that aren't yours?" His voice was just as dark as he looked. Its scared Pan, like he was to simply kill her without a single thought.
"What is your name?" She shakily asked him. He stepped closer, igniting his red sabre.
"I am Kylo Ren," He said as he stood so close to Pan, to the point he could smell something familiar. Sand...Sun and something else... "Who are you?" he asked back.
"No one" all of sudden, a ringing in her ears sounded as the world went quiet. Pain, something like she felt when Finn was on that awful snow planet. She looked down and Kylo's red sabre was impeded into her torso.
Piercing screams had woken Rey from her sleep as she bolted to the bridge. She found Finn next to Pan, with her clutching her stomach. Finn was trying to calm the Pan, but nothing was working. "What did you do?!" she yelled at Finn.
"He's here!" Pan screeched as she crumpled to the floor. The man stood completely unnoticed by Finn and Rey in the corner, watching her bleed to death. He was someone who had watched people die before. More memories leaked into her mind, and she knew that this time around it was the force telling her something.
She saw her mother in Kylos memories "You left him, you left him behind with the wolves. He needed you, he wanted you. But you ran away!" Pan saw them on a damaged ship, so much red and bodies were thrown about the place. "He wanted to rule the galaxy with you"
The pain and the memories subsided, Pan felt nothing but the loneliness Kylo felt. "He just wanted to keep you safe," she said as the force began to leave her alone. She stared at Kylo Ren, as her body went cold. She knew what he was to her, but he had no idea who she was to him…
Finally, her world went black.
Both Rey and Finn looked at each other, there wasn't a single scratch on Pan. The moment she passed out, the room seemed to lift like the air had been let back into the room. Finn picked the girl up, she was light as a feather and nothing like the heavy power he had just witnessed beforehand.
"I think I am owed a little more information about Pan and Kylo" he said as he took Pan to her crib. He tucked her in as Ray hovered in the doorway. She was going to have to tell Finn everything…she owed it to him.
Re-written chapter as of 09/02/2019