Cook's Christmas (present)
I can't believe it's this time of the year again. It always goes by so quickly. The streets are all dressed up in pretty lights and the speakers are blasting the typical Christmas Songs.
Around this time of the year, when I was a little kid I loved to search every store for the perfect gift. I liked the excitement and to see people having fun and families shopping together. It was nice. It was also that one time of the year where I would get to have my mom walking around with me with a happy smile on her face.
When that ended I thought I would never again like Christmas. The colourful streets suddenly didn't look so bright and pretty, and the songs became more annoying every year.
Nowadays, that doesn't happen anymore. Because today I am a grown man, and I'm not alone anymore. I have a family with whom I can have dinner, a friend who rather spend this night with me than with his own parents. So due to my mom's absence today, we take the opportunity to stay at my house and have our own dinner. Me, Tony and Effy. We might not have the perfect families, but we have each other, and that's enough of a family.
Cassie and Emily's Christmas (age 7 and 6)
Emily woke up early. She knew that day was going to be a special day. She went to her cousin's room to wake her up as well.
"Cassie! Cassie! Wake up!" Emily said while jumping on her bed.
"Hm… Emily. Five more minutes…" Cassie said and rolled over to the other side.
"Ah c'mon! Don't you know what day is it today?" Emily asked her cousin pouting.
Cassie suddenly opened her eyes and sat down on her bed, facing Emily.
"It's Christmas!" She said enthusiastically giving her cousin a huge smile.
"Yes!" Emily smiled back, "Come! Let's go downstairs." She said and grabbed Cassie's hand, pulling her out of bed and dragging her through the hallway and downstairs.
When they reached the end of the stairs they were suddenly stopped.
"Hey girls!" Cassie's mother said and picked her up in a hug, "Where are you going in such a hurry?" She asked smiling and patted Emily's head gently.
"We were gonna see our presents Auntie Kath!" Emily said jumping with joy.
"Oh I see. But you can't open them until midnight."
"We know mom! But can we at least see them?" Cassie asked pouting and pleading.
Her mom looked at both girls for a moment without saying anything, noticing how they waited anxiously for her answer.
"Of course you can my sweet girls!" She finally said smiling and put her daughter down.
"Yeay!" Both girls said in unison and started to run towards the living room.
"But don't open them!" Kathryn said raising her voice a bit so they could hear her.
"Ah children… So easy to please. They really are the joy of this house." She said smiling to herself.
The girls were quickly under the tree, searching the presents for each one of them and trying to guess what was inside.
"Cassie, I think this one is a doll." Emily said holding a gift that looked like a tall box.
"Ah, I want a doll too!" Cassie said looking through the other presents, "Look! This one is heavy… What do you think it is?" She said catching Emily's attention.
"Oh… I don't know…" Emily said curious, "Do you wanna find out?"
Cassie grinned at her, "You mean open it?"
"Well I don't mean tearing the paper off, but we could always take a peek." Emily said smirking.
It took only one look between them to know that they agreed with one another, so they grabbed the present and tried to lift the edges of the paper carefully.
"I can't see it very well Cass."
"Yeah it seems that it's something pink and… blue?"
Both girls shared a confused look and went to look again, but stopped immediately.
"My sweet princesses, what are you doing here so early?" A man asked them smiling.
"Dad! We were just…" Cassie started to say but looked at Emily unsure.
"We weren't doing anything wrong Uncle Jonas!"
"Yeah we promise!"
He laughed, "It's alright my sweet girls." And kneeled down in front of them, "You know, when I was a little boy, I too liked to wake up early and check the presents under the tree."
"You did?" Emily asked surprised.
Jonas Fitch patted his niece's head and gently tucked some loose red hairs behind her little ear.
"I really did." He smiled to the two little girls, "It's not a bad thing to be curious about what you're going to receive."
"But mom said we couldn't open the presents." Cassie said confused to her father.
"And she's right. Even if you are really curious, you must not open them." He said calmly.
"Why?" Both girls asked.
"Because if you open them now, later in the night you won't have anything to open."
Jonas waited for their reaction, and decided to continue due to the girls unsure faces.
"Won't you rather open them later when all the family is gathered together?"
Emily now looked at the floor, with a sad expression and Cassie looked at her worried.
"Emsy what's wrong?" She asked touching her cousin's shoulder.
"I don't think that makes sense, it's pointless to wait for the whole family…"
"What do you mean love?" Jonas asked worried about his niece.
"Daddy won't be there. I heard mommy saying that to Rosie yesterday…"
Cassie looked surprised at her father and he sighed, "Yes I know sweetie… He had to go out in business. But he's going to be back tomorrow." Jonas said trying to cheer her up.
"I don't care, I want him today!" Emily said angry and pouted.
"Emsy, don't be like that. Don't be sad…" Cassie said and hugged her cousin, "It doesn't matter, your mom is gonna be there. And my parents."
Emily continue to look sadly at them, "And I'll be there. I'll be with you and we'll be opening the presents together! Like we always do." Cassie said smiling kindly at her.
This time Emily gave her a small smile and Cassie smiled back, while her father smiled the entire time at seeing her daughter being so kind with his little niece.
"You know my beautiful girls, I'll tell you something, but it has to stay between us ok?"
Both girls nodded in agreement and he leaned closer to them, whispering, "Rosie's making your favourite cookies for tonight and this time you can stay up later than ever, playing with your new toys. What do you think?"
"Yes! That's awesome daddy!" Cassie said grinning like a Cheshire cat and hugging her father.
"Can we really stay up 'till late Uncle Jonas?" Emily asked unsure with a small voice.
"I promise my beautiful girl. Now come and give your old uncle a big hug!"
"Ahah you're not old!" She said laughing while hugging him.
"Ah now that's more like it! Having my two favourite girls so happy like this." He said smiling and hugging them closer, "I love you so much."
"We love you two!" Cassie and Emily said, smiling.
Naomi's Christmas (3 years ago)
I got home after doing a little shopping and some groceries, just in time for dinner. I hanged my coat and left the bags on the kitchen table, making my way to the dining room.
"Hey! I'm back." I looked at the table, still not set for diner, "I thought you guys were gonna set the table while I was out." I said confused turning to my brother and father.
"Naomi… You should sit down honey." My father said with a hoarse voice and gloomy eyes.
I did as I was told, it wasn't very usual to see him that way. When I did, my brother who was next to me, reached for my hand and held it. Another thing who was unusual, I wasn't liking the heavy mood on the room at all. Mostly because although I wouldn't admit it, deep down I already knew what was going on.
"You know very well how your mother was going through a rough time. It hasn't been easy to any of us." Dad started to say to both me and Nathan. He paused for a moment, almost like he was trying to catch his breath, before speaking again, "We received a call from the Hospital while you were out Naomi. Your mother, my dear wife… she has passed away."
I wanted to say something but the words were caught down my throat. I could only stare at my dad, without any reaction at all.
"Naomi, you ok?" Nathan asked worried, putting his hand on my shoulder.
"I…" Once again I couldn't mutter anymore of a sound.
My father came closer to me and hugged both me and my brother saying over and over again, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry." I could feel their tears on my shirt and face, and my only thought was "I have to get out of here".
So I moved away from their embrace and got up, excusing myself from the unbearable environment where I was suddenly engulfed in. I made my way to the entrance, grabbing my coat and keys and stepped outside.
I could have hoped on my bike and drive away through the night. But I didn't need that, I needed to escape from the sudden feeling of being trapped. So I ran, faster than I had ever ran. I didn't care about the amount of snow that was falling heavily on me, and I didn't care if it was pitch black by now. I could even catch a cold, but none of that mattered. Because on that night, I lost my mother. I lost the most precious person in my life. I lost my angel. So who cares if I shouldn't be running at this time of the night alone? Who cares if I left my brother and father alone at home, when they needed me more than ever?
It didn't matter anymore, whatever I did would never ever brought her back to me. And you know what hurts the most?
Not having the chance to say goodbye and to tell her how much I loved her and how important she was to me.
Nowadays, I don't celebrate Christmas with my family no more. I may pass by their house in the morning to see and wish them a happy day, but once that's done I return to my own home. It may seem a little lonely, but it's my way of dealing with it. It doesn't make sense to me anymore to celebrate this day, because this is no longer a day where I'm happy and thankful for the people I have around me.
Now this is a day where I will always be reminded that I didn't say goodbye and didn't say I loved her, and she didn't say it back.
However, I also learned that I have the chance to say it every day of my life, even if she might not be able to listen, at least I'm able to say it.