Identity Theft

Written By

Natalie Elizabeth

Edited by

EvaKAlways

Merry Christmas LittleLizzieZentara.

From your Castle fanfic buddies. Natalie Elizabeth and EvaKAlways

Authors note

During a skype session with LittleLIizieZentara and EvaKAlways. LittleLiz mentioned it would be cool to read a Castle story where they turn into their Halloween costumes. Halloween is a foreign concept to me but I thought I would give it a go. If you have written a story like this or would like to write one please do and let us know as we would love it read it.

This is meant to be a spoof fic. Its meant to be silly and stupid and not even make sense. So enjoy it for what it is. : )

Based on the episode Vampire Weekend.

Castle took a sip of his evil red concoction he had created for the party. He had promised Lanie it would make her wonder where she left her pants. Well it wasn't that potent but it did have the ability to make the most timid of people dance on a few tables. Pants optional.

He glanced around the room to see his party was starting to dwindle. It was 4 am and only the hard core friends were still going, standing along with a few waiters. Cleopatra and the Mermaid had gone home a few minutes ago. He had seen a witch or two leave at midnight. His 'It must be witching hour' joke hadn't gone down too well. He needed to get friends who got his jokes. However glancing around the room he did see his team still there. Well Beckett would say they were her team but hey semantics. It was 4 am and they were partying strong right there along with his mother.

Castle watched as his mother suddenly dropped to the floor. He went to shout out when he saw his team drop too. Reaching for his phone suddenly the world was tilting sideways before it all went black.

The middle age man opened his eyes and looked around. Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary. He stood slowly and brushed himself off. He glanced around his surroundings. Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. He wasn't quite too sure of the place he was in. There seemed to be cobwebs everywhere and there were people lying on the floor. What kind of trouble had he gotten himself into now?

When a scream broke through the house the man froze. A young woman was lying on the ground with some kind of green frog like monster coming out of her stomach.

"What the hell is this? Somebody help me!"

The man ran over to the prone woman on the floor. "Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay? I have this thing coming out of me."

The man looked at the wiggly thing that seemed to be eyeing him off. The green creature tried to lunge at him when suddenly a black fury hand swatted the creature away. The man stood there and watched as the cat repeatedly beat the green creature until it finally went lax and fell prone on the young woman's stomach.

"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." The man announced stunned.

"What's the matter Mister. Is this much too much for you to handle," the cat like woman asked as she ran a hand down her body.

The man glanced at her and shook his head. "No I…."

"Would you to stop chatting I still have this thing attached to my body."

"Move out of the way. I am a doctor."

The man took a step back and allowed the man in hospital scrubs to walk over and assess the situation. He looked over at the woman lying on the floor. "MMM seems pretty simple to me. I can remove this easily. I just need a knife,"

"Here." The man looked up and saw a man in an army uniform handing over a knife.

"By the way I have secured the area. Frankenstein over there tried to give me some grief but the lady over there drinking with the two toned hair had a dog leash. I was able to subdue him. He won't be giving us any trouble. So what's happening here?"

"Well this lady here has some creature sticking out of her stomach," With one final swipe of the knife, the green monster had been removed. "All done" he said throwing away the creature.

"Never more," The man announced.

"What is going on here?"

A young redhead descended from the stairs. "I am Detective," she then frowned. "I am detective…. Well it doesn't matter what my name is I have a badge" the thrust the badge forward. "So I am in charge here. Who are you people?"

Everyone stood there looking around at each other.

"Okay so no one knows who they are?" the young red head asked.

Everyone shook their head.

"Okay fine. Who knows where we are?"

"Its seems we are in a large building. Quite far up and from what I can see from the window I think we are in America" the man in army gear told her.

The detective nodded. "Thanks Commando. You're in charge of protection"

"I'll keep the perimeter secure."

"Doc," The detective pointed at the man in scrubs. "What's the situation? Is anybody hurt. If no one can remember maybe they hit their head."

The doctor looked over everyone. "Umm well apart from this lady who had some kind of thing growing out of her stomach everyone else looks okay"

The detective watched as the woman got off the floor and quickly wrapped her coat around herself. "I am fine now thank you. Now I would like to leave."

The detective held up her hand. "No one is going anywhere Flasher."

The lady in the trench coat looked horrified. "I am not a Flasher."

The detective raised a brow at her. "Why else would you be wearing a coat to cover yourself completely?"

"It's cold."

"Whatever. Anyway no one is leaving until we figure this out. Bird man makes sure she doesn't leave."

"Me." The man with the fake bird attached to his hand looked at the detective.

"Do you see anyone else with a bird on his hand?"

Bird man looked around the room. "Well no but an established name is an estate in tenure, or a throne in possession."

"What?" The detective asked.

"Can I have a better name? The right name can take you places."

The detective shook her head. "No one knows who they are or where they are but you want a cool name. Fine. I'll call you Pops."

"Pops"

"Yeah you are the oldest male here."

"I am not!"

The other two males looked at him and shrugged.

"Well I am not old enough to be your father."

The detective looked him up and down. "You kind of are, old man. Now back to business" The detective suddenly got distracted by the Cat licking her paw. "Your tongue is bright red. Why is it bright red? Doctor." she beckoned him over.

The doctor came over and began to examine her tongue. "It is bright red. It's been stained by something."

"It's this wonderful drink," the dog lady said holding it up. "It stains everything including the rug" she told them poking out her tongue.

The detective began pacing. "Okay so two of you have a stained tongue. Who else does?"

She looked around the room and saw none of them were poking out their tongue. "Come on show us your tongue" she poked hers out.

"Hey yours is red," the doctor pointed out.

The detective pulled her tongue back in.

"Hey aren't you too young to be drinking," Pops queried.

"Open your mouths," the detective shouted.

Reluctantly the doctor, the army guy, the cat, the flasher, the bird guy, the dog lady all opened their mouth and stuck out their tongues.

"They are all red." The detective exclaimed. "Which means we all drank the same drink. None of us can remember what happened and we aren't injured. So theoretically the drink could be spiked with something. Which could explain why none of us can remember anything. Right "

Suddenly there was a noise from behind the book shelf. The army man put a finger to his lips and he turned around and stealthily went to investigate. Everyone else stood frozen waiting for the army man to come back. Was there someone else in the room? Was it someone there to hurt them? Possibly the person who had spiked the drinks. A few seconds later the army guy came back into the room dragging a young girl with him. She is dressed in a black and white uniform and holding papers in her hand.

"I found this girl going through some papers. I was able to sneak up on her because she was listening to music."

The ear buds were now hanging down to the ground. "It wasn't music, it's Heat Wave audio book. Wait. Why are you all up? You were supposed to be drugged and knocked out."

"You drugged us?" the detective asked. "Why?"

The girl stayed quite so the army man squeezed her army slightly.

"Okay. I was after spoilers for the new story," the young girl told them holding up the papers.

"What story?"

The waiter looked around. "The new Richard Castle novel of course"

"Who is Richard Castle?" Pops asked.

"Liz. What's taking so long?"

Everyone in the room turned to look towards the front door. A young woman also in a waiter uniform was standing in the door way.

"Kristen. Help!"

The woman by the door started searching through her pockets. She pulled something out and threw it on the ground. A loud bang and a cloud of smoke started swirling through the air. Everyone in the rooms started coughing and covering their mouths.

"Lizzie. Come on,"

Lizzie stomped her foot on the army guy's shoes and elbowed him in the stomach. Being caught by surprise the army guy let go and stumbled back. Lizzie ran towards the door and tripped over the green frog monster that was on the floor. The papers she was holding went flying through the air. Kristen helped Lizzie off the floor and they both went scurrying out from the room.

Everyone still in the room looked around at each other.

"Did that just happened?" the doctor asked.

The army guy shook his head. "Did they just drug us to steal some bedtime story?"

"Stupidity is a talent for misconception," the bird guy mused.

The detective held up her hand. "Shouldn't we go after them?" She took two steps towards the door then crumbled to the floor.

The doctor went to reach for her but then crumbled to the floor, as did the others in the room.

Beckett opened her eyes and blinked a few times. She put her hand to her head to try and thwart off the throbbing. Pushing herself off the floor with her other hand she looked around the room. She spied Alexis on the floor and rushed over to her.

"Alexis,"

She grabbed the teen and then pulled her off the ground and into her lap. Beckett looked around the room and noticed her team also on the ground in various states of awake and sleep.

"Lanie," Beckett yelled out as she saw her friend as a cat woman starting to sit up.

Lanie looked over at them before scrambling up and running to the two prone women.

"Alexis," Lanie lightly tapped Alexis' face trying to get her to wake up.

"Castle," Beckett yelled to the man who was still on the floor. He flinched before opening his eyes wide and looking around. He saw the three women and slid over on the floor. He grabbed her hand.

"Alexis. Pumpkin. What is going on? Is she okay? " he tapped her hand.

Alexis opened her eyes and looked around frightened. "What happened?"

Ryan and Esposito came over. "Did we all get drunk?"

Castle looked at his daughter. "Did you drink?"

Alexis frowned. "I had a sip of punch,"

"What was in the punch Castle?" Beckett questioned still holding onto the teen.

Alexis sat up and looked around the room. "The waiters. They were here. Your novel. I think they were trying to steal it," she said pointing to the papers on the floor.

Castle looked at the papers on the floor. He walked over and picked them up. Castle laughed. "Wait. Someone was trying to steal this. This garbage I wrote when I was younger. I keep it around to read to see how far I have come."

Alexis slowly rose to unsteady feet. "They thought it was the newest novel."

Castle laughed.

"No one prints stuff out nowadays its all online."

Alexis shrugged.

Beckett stood up and pulled Lanie up off the floor too. "Wait Castle. So the waiters were trying to steal your work. Where did you hire them from? Do you know what they look like?"

Castle looked over at Beckett and smiled. "I don't have to remember. I have it all on pumpkin cam."

Beckett frowned. "Pumpkin cam?"

Castle nodded. "Yeah. I figured I was going to get pretty wasted so I had a team come in and install cameras around the room hidden in pumpkins. I figured I'd watch the footage and then get all the embarrassing bits sliced together and give it to everyone for Christmas. Great Christmas present right? A story about Halloween."

Beckett shook her head. "Ryan. Esposito. Get some officers here. We need to get that punch tested and ourselves looked over too. Castle can you show me the footage. Let's get to the bottom of this.

The end.

So I hoped everyone liked it.

(I do apologize. My knowledge of Poe is that of Google quotes and that Simpsons episode. Sorry if I royally mucked it up)