Author's note... For those who haven't seen "Some Like it Hot", Tony Curtis plays three different characters; Joe (his main character-a saxophone player), Josephine (a woman he created in an effort to join an all girl's band in order to escape some mobsters) and Junior (the owner of Shell Oil, whom he created in order to win over Sugar Kane; Marilyn Monroe's character). Jack Lemmon's female alter-ego is Daphne and his main character is Jerry.

I tried to be as clear as possible when addressing or introducing the characters to avoid confusion, so I hope this story is easy to follow. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

"Come on, Jerry! You've been sulking in that chair for the past hour! What's wrong?" Joe asked.

"Osgood left me." Jerry said with a sigh.

"What do you care? You wanted to be rid of him anyway! He was just part of our getaway plan, so you should be glad!"

"Yeah, but I didn't want him to dump me!" Jerry yelled.

"Jerry, will you listen to yourself? Did you really think that you could keep up this charade forever?"

"Only until he was going to start asking about children. I'd have to come clean for sure then. But I was gonna let him down, nice and easy. Not like this!"

Joe shook his head in disbelief. "You're insane, you know that?"
"Why am I insane?"

"You don't love him! And, in case you've forgotten, you're a guy!"

"Nobody's perfect!" Jerry retorted.

"Oh brother. I just don't understand you sometimes. We went to all that trouble to get away from Spats and his mobsters and now you're upset because some guy left you! A guy, I might add, whom you only agreed to marry-as Daphne-so that we could get the alimony money! Tell me, was it all worth it?"
"You tell me! You got Sugar Kane, didn't you?" Jerry asked.

A dreamy far-off look came over Joe. "Yeah... I guess you're right. She is pretty special, isn't she?"
Jerry stood and put his hands on his hips. "Well, Osgood was special, too and what do I get? Nothing! Not a note, not a goodbye, not even a ship-to-shore call! He just vanished! Sailed away to who-knows-where! How do you think that makes me feel? Well I'll tell you how-."
"Junior? Junior, darling?"

With lightening speed, Joe donned his black rimmed glasses and did his best Cary Grant impersonation.
"In here, my darling."
"Oh, there you are!" Sugar exclaimed as she threw her arms around him. "I really missed you!"
"Well, I missed you too, Darling. I'm sorry I've been bogged down with work and all. I just haven't been able to give you the attention that you deserve."
"Oh, don't be silly! You're Shell Oil! You're a very busy man!"
"I'm so glad you understand, my Darling."

"Boy do I ever understand!"

Sugar's melodious laughter filled the room and she showered Joe's face with kisses. "Well! I'm glad someone understands, because I sure don't!" Jerry said as he entered the room dressed as Daphne.

"What's wrong, Daphne?" Sugar asked.

Joe rolled his eyes. "Osgood left him! I mean her!"

Jerry waved his arms in protest.
"Oh, you poor thing!" Sugar exclaimed as she rushed over to Jerry and hugged him tightly. "Why Daphne! You must be heartbroken!"

"I'll say! It's a terrible feeling, being dumped!" Daphne added, sneering at Jerry.

"Lucky for us, we'll never have that problem, will we Darling?" Jerry asked as he took Sugar in his arms and kissed her.

"Not at all..." Sugar sighed beneath Junior's lips.

Daphne sighed. "Fine, rub it in why don't you?"

Sugar quickly pulled out of Junior's embrace. "Oh, I'm sorry! We didn't mean to!"
Junior smiled. "Of course, not. We just missed each other so much! What with my busy schedule and all."
"Yeah, you... mentioned that." Daphne pointed out.

"Junior, Dear..."

"Yes, Sugar?"
"Don't you think we should find someone for Daphne? I mean, I hate to think of her being left out in the cold. And by the way, where's Josephine? I haven't seen her for days!" Sugar exclaimed.
Daphne smirked. "Yeah, Junior! Where is Josephine?"
"Well how am I supposed to know where she is? I'm not her mother!"

"Are you sure about that?" Daphne winked.

Junior made a fist at Daphne, causing her to flinch, and was grateful that Sugar was oblivious to it all.

"Quite sure!" Junior added. He turned to Sugar and moved his face toward hers until their lips were inches apart. "Now where were we?"
"I think right about here..." Sugar sighed as their lips met in a heated embrace.

Jerry shook his head in disgust. "Get a room, why don't you?" He stopped and looked around the sparse hotel room.
"Oh wait, this is your room. Well, goodnight!"

Sugar and Junior waved to Daphne as their kisses continued well into the night...