Letter written to the mother:

Dear Mom,

I miss you. Sorry I went away for college. I can't live in that house no more. There is too much happening. You pay attention less to me and more to dad. I know you mad, sad, and upset, etc., with me but I did it for a reason. Jason & I have a baby. I have been hiding him for 3 years already. I know, I know, you must be saying to yourself how? When me & Jason was together in freshman year in college & I came out pregnant; the first time I slept with him. His parents were taking caring of the baby when I was visiting you. They also take care of him when I am in school. Even though we not together, I still spend time with Jason & his family. I'm really sorry for not telling you. I couldn't because I knew you would be mad at me. So thanks for caring and giving me shelter the 2 months I was here but I have to go back to my son and school. I don't want nobody to know I have a kid only you & pa. Tell him whenever you get the chance to. Well I got to go and make the baby food. By the way, he is going to be 3 years old in 2 weeks. He looks like you. Please when you get a chance email me and tell me how you doing.

P.s I am tested positive for Aids, don't worry I am not going to die. Doctors told me that I am going to be good. I just have to go to treatment for a few months.

Luv ya,

Melinda Lokie

Looking towards the window of the outside world, Melinda noticed the only way out to Cici's house is by lying to her mother. Telling her she is going to study for a test tomorrow. She doesn't want to lie but she has to see Cici & Chris today before things get worse. Entering the Kitchen, Ma can I go to Cici to study for Mr. Brown exam? He is going to give us the exam tomorrow morning and I don't think I'm ready. The review sheet has about 50 questions ma and I only study 15 by myself. Its killing ma knowing that it's going to have math problems. Ummm….I don't think it's a good night for you to be out Melinda. It's a school night and you're not supposed to go out late at this time. Why didn't you ask earlier? Ma, I was doing my English report and social science homework.

Melinda, I am letting you go this time cause I trust you and plus I'm not that stupid to what goes on in your life. Go handle the situation with your friends and you better pass tomorrow test. I am giving you until 10:30pm to be outside. Thanks mom, I know you understand. You are so….. (Not letting her finish) Whatever Melinda, I'm cool when you want me to be cool. Mom, you are cool to me and I'm not lying at all. You don't have to believe me or not. (Melinda starts walking to the door). We will talk when you get home later. Ok…sigh Melinda "bye".

(She arrives at Lucy's house)

Yo I can't believe my mom's knew what was happening and what I was talking /thinking. She creeps me out sometimes Lucy. It's like she knows me better than I know myself, now that's scary. Melinda, stop being scare your mother was your age. She understands were you coming from. But it does creep me out too. Do you talk loud so that she could hear you or something? Um.. I don't know. When that thing had happen between me and your brother, I kept quiet. She asked me a million times "why I was quiet. That it wasn't like me to be quiet and being all depress and crap. My answer was nothing. I didn't seem to know what to tell her at the moment. So all I would say is nothing.

But it has to be something. She can't just know out of the blue. Ummm Oooh…Wait do you talk in your sleeps still? Or sleep walk? That could be a reason. I remember the last time I slept over your house, you freak me out by doing that. You were talking about everything you did in the day like if you were talking to me but you weren't because you were sleeping. You would turn around and go right back to sleep like nothing happened. Melinda: OmG! Are you serious? Are you freaking serious? How come you never told me I did that? No wonder she stares at me every morning and stay asking me if everything ok. Melinda thinking to herself: There are times where we sit in a corner and think about the interesting things that we want to happen to us without knowing if it might happen in the first place. Why make things harder than it is? Why not turn back life and make it better? If it was possible for us to do that, I would say yes & no. I know u want to know why but I'll only tell a couple of reasons why...Lolz. People love to pretend that they are not themselves. Got confused?! That was the point...ha-ha. Ok well Getting back to the main story.

She probably hears me speaking and stuff. This is not good. What could she be thinking at this moment? I hope she doesn't think I have issues. I want to sit down and talk to her but I can't she doesn't know how I am. I don't want her to feel bad for me. I want her to treat me like my age. I don't want her to think I need help or something. I am a teenager and teenagers have problems. They will have to deal with it on their own as things happen. Umm.. Melinda just talks to your mom. It's not hard to do that. I and my mom's talk all the time and I hear her side on something's I tell her but it helps me know where she stands. But Cici she is my mom and you know how she gets when I start to talk about Chris and Mike. She gives me theses weird look if I'm from a different planet then her.

Melinda, I think you should go home now. It's getting late and you didn't really need to study. Chris isn't here anyways and you know how it gets around here when my brother doesn't have control on the block. His hood buddies try to get close to any girl around our age. You don't want that, you remember what happen to crystal last week when Darryl drops her off home. She wasn't the same crystal and you know that. We was there standing where he took her to the car and came out high as the bird trying to find the sun in clouds. Urghhh! Cici I'm going home and tell Chris to call me please! We need to talk before I go crazy and plus he got to know that he is going to be a father at the age 16. Walking out the door, Cici grabs Melinda's arm. Without asking twice, Melinda knew actually what cici was thinking but all she did was nod her head and push back her arm and left.

Too many thoughts full up Cici's head when Melinda told her about her being pregnant and it being her brother's baby. Thinking to herself: Cici cried to herself in the bathroom of her home. Why did Melinda say that? She can't be pregnant. Chris would have told me by now that Melinda was holding his child but the funny thing is that they haven't been together in 5 months. Could Melinda be lying to her about the baby?! Nah, She wants attention so she said that so Chris would pay her attention and talk to her sooner than ever. I don't think this is right.

_(Melinda arrives home)_

Melinda, Is that you?! We have to talk now. You father wants you to call him. Mom, you need to leave me alone, she yells out to the hallways. I don't feel like talking to anybody now. Can you tell dad to call me tomorrow and I'll talk to him about the thing he wants. (Her mother yells to her) Melinda gets down her right now young lady! Without looking back Melinda goes to her room and gets her suitcase. She starts to pack her clothes. Thinking to herself she says: I wish I knew how to tell my mother that I am pregnant and also tested positive for Aids. She will freak out if she finds out that that I lied to cici telling her that it was her brothers baby which it's not its really Jason's baby. Nobody knows actually what's wrong with me. Cici's brother is more of a best friend then his sister. I don't tell her anything because he's gay and his family doesn't know. When I started to hang out with Chris, he used to take me to these parties while we pretend to go out. I met Jason at one of those. We click at the very first moment our eyes met. He told Chris to introduce us but I was too shy to accept him. So Jason invited me and Chris to his house for a dinner. I said yes because I knew Chris would be there and nothing would happen while he's around since he was a brother to me.

When we got to Jason's house, Donna and Michael were there. They were also friends of Chris. Chris had a massive crush on Michael but knew he wouldn't accept because Michael didn't tell anybody he was bi but only Chris knew. As we enter the house, I said my hello's to everyone from the door. I made my way to the kitchen to get some water. I was welcome by the voice of Jason. He must have followed me, I said to myself. I turned around and said hi with a smile on my face. He said hi back and gave me a kiss on my cheek. Me turning red I tried to walk away but Jason did a little pull and asks for me to stay in the kitchen with him. I nodded my head and stood right next to him. I was close enough to smell his after shave cream. The smell drove me crazy. I wanted to go to see if Chris was ok but I noticed he would be good because Donna and Michael was keeping him company while Jason tried to get to me. Me trying to make a conversation, Jason came out of nowhere and kiss me. I without knowing slapped him in his face and walk away. He looks at me and smile.

What this boy is thinking, I thought to myself. I know he knows I am supposed to be dating Chris and nobody knows he's gay. I guess he read my mind because he walks up to me and said he will be fine. He knows I wanted to spend time with you that's why he not bugging me about leaving you alone. Ohh how mad I got when he told me that. Chris knew that and that's why he brought me here with him. I started to get really mad and I made my way to Chris. He was in the middle of a story, when he looked around and saw my face. He got up and asks what was wrong? I look at him and said you know what's wrong, why you did that to me?! I wanted to take things slowly like we spoke. Chris looking sad said, "I was just trying to help you honey, I didn't want rush you but I saw you guys was making a good connection at the party last week. You have to get out that shell Melinda. You going to be depressed all of your life. Your moms don't care that you living life besides school. Please don't get mad, just have fun we can leave now if you want. Me not trying to ruin his only fun I said no it's ok we can stay a bit longer. I made my way back to Jason I told him sorry and that I didn't mean to hurt him or anything. He laughed and said: It was a love tap it's ok plus I knew that was going to happen Chris told me you would that.

Making our way back to the kitchen, Jason looked like he was drunk because he was saying things that weren't making sense. So I decided to get something to drunk to add to our flow. I search around and saw a bottle of tequila and D& J sitting right on top of the counter. I brought my cup and pour some all the way to the top. I started to drink it and made my way back to Jason once more but this time I was ready for anything that was going to happen. Jason looking like he was jolly meaning extra happy came towards my way and started to kiss. Things started to get a bit dizzy so we went to the room. Then that's when everything happen. About an hour later, I heard a voice of a boy calling for my name. Melinda where you at?! You ready to go home?! Me trying to make out the voice of Chris, I made my way to get out of the bed. How did I get here I said to myself. I started to fix my hair. Jason was nowhere to be found. The room looked like a kids room. I called to Chris & said I'm here I'm ready to go home. Chris coming to the room looking at me, he almost cried. I ask what's wrong. He said it's true you slept with Jason without asking me. I look at him and said I am grown buddy I am going to college in 2 months . I need fun and you know that and plus how you know?! He said because everybody knows we heard when Jason was saying to somebody on the phone that he nailed you and that you going to have his kids and you guys are to the same school. So nobody is going to know because his mom is willing to take care of the baby. Oh my Gosh! Me going crazy, I said what! Not being able to breathe I yelled towards the hallways "you piece of crap, you got my pregnant".

Jason making his way to the room, looking away he said I'm sorry we didn't have protection and I wanted to be with you. I know you don't understand now but we are meant to be (Melinda grabbing hold of a stick throws it to the window cracking the glass into pieces). Not knowing what to say next, I got my coat and left. This wasn't the life I wanted at the age 18 going into college and now with a baby that wasn't even supposed to be created yet. This isn't what my mom would be approved of. Not thinking correctly, Chris takes the hand of Melinda and walks out of Jason's house. Why me? Why me, Chris?! I can't think I want this baby Chris. I want to die now. My mom would freak out if she knows. Please don't tell anybody Chris, Just keep it between me and you. I am Melinda, don't worries you are going to be find. Just don't go crazy when you see your belly getting bigger. I am going to tell you something though. Jason is tested positive with Aids, please pray you don't have it honey because then you are going to become crazier. WHAT! YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME RIGHT! AIDS! (Running out of Chris sight she makes her way to her house, & Melinda makes it to her room before her mom could say hi to her).

{Melinda writes in her Notebook}

Dear Notebook,

I just realized I am going to be a mom at the age 18 meanwhile my real mom is trying to get me to be normal and have a one on one day. I can't seem to accept that Jason has aids and didn't even bother to tell me. Now I have to face my mom with the guilt in my heart for the next two weeks until I leave to college. Why did this have to happen to me?! I guess it is because I wasn't being honest with everybody from the beginning… Well notebook I guess I am going to be living hell for a while wish me luck and hope I survive. I guess it's just you and me until I give birth next year. We'll talk to you later.

You're truly,

Melinda Lokie

Mom and dad I am home from school. Not hearing the sound of her parents, she realizes this is the chance for her to make a run for it and don't look back. The block already started to see the belly was growing and it's only been one month. She looks out her window. With that said Melinda starts to pack for the wonderful college life. Not knowing what her mom will think once she finds out about the baby, the aids etc. She closes her notebook and walks away from the room she once called home…..