"You feel things with your whole soul. Don't let that hold you back from anything."
It had been longer since Regina could even remember since she had felt this knot in her stomach. The one that clenched every time the cause of it was mentioned or laid eyes upon, traveling up into her throat and restricting her ability to breathe. For a long time, she couldn't decide if it was a good feeling; she had shut herself down to it for so long, it didn't really register as something positive at all. But after her talk with Snow, she knew it was time to open up again. It had been too long, and she wasn't sure what was looking her in the face right now, but it had to be good. It just had to be.
She wouldn't be able to handle the outcome if it wasn't.
Regina found herself outside of the diner she knew the Savior to be in, almost unconsciously, and she resigned herself to the bench across the street to peer inside. Emma Swan was smiling, and seemingly content, and Regina couldn't help the twist of envy in her stomach at the realization of how oblivious the blonde was. All of the emotional turmoil, and she sat inside with that dirty pirate, letting him fall over her like the sickening fool he was...
Regina sat in the same position for almost an hour and a half, her eyes never leaving the woman in question. It felt like forever before Emma and Hook finally got up and left the diner, parting ways with awkward smiles that made Regina sick to her stomach. She wasn't sure what made her do it; first she was sitting on the bench, staring almost painfully across the street. The next she was on her feet and crossing said street, her fingers clenched tightly in her pockets in what she refused to acknowledge as nervous fear as her voice rang out in the darkness.
"Emma."
Emma jumped quite noticeably, spinning on her heel to look at Regina in surprise. "Uh," she stuttered, as if she had just been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to do. "Hi -"
And then Regina's lips were on hers, and the noise that choked out of Emma's throat was so comical to Regina, she had to press closer and more fully claim those lips to keep from laughing out loud. The amusement immediately faded when Emma's first instinct was to fist her fingers in Regina's coat, and the brunette prepared herself to be thrown across the sidewalk. It never came. Emma was pressing closer, dragging Regina the remaining distance, and the sudden ferocity of the kiss was...blinding. Blinding, deafening, and that knot was twisting tighter in the best way, and Regina couldn't breathe while caught up in this moment.
When it was over, Regina's breathing was a little heavier. She couldn't even feel embarrassed by it, because Emma's was puffing lightly against her lips, as well. "Hook...?" Regina whispered in question, and Emma snorted lightly, shaking her head.
"He's not you..."
"When did this start?" Regina asked quietly, her hands having come to settle on Emma's upper arms sometime in the last few seconds.
"I don't know," Emma said honestly. "But I was never going to say anything."
"Why?"
"I thought you'd curse me or something."
Regina huffed a soft laugh, shaking her head and leaning in for another slow, soft kiss to lips she was quickly becoming addicted to. "I wish I could," she answered quietly. "I'm not...I don't feel..."
"You don't have your heart," Emma replied, her voice no more than a whisper. The hesitance in her voice confirmed to Regina that Emma was skeptical about this. It hurt a little, if she were honest; since when did she ever put herself out like this?
"That doesn't mean I don't feel anything," Regina replied. "I just don't...feel it as strongly as I could..." Swallowing, she shut her eyes so she didn't have to look at Emma. "But I still feel you.."
It was a long few seconds of silence before tentative lips covered hers again. Regina pressed forward again, fingers digging into Emma's arms as she pushed her back a few steps; pressing her back into the light post and bringing her body flush to hers. It was at least ten minutes before they finally pulled away from each other, though it felt like thirty seconds. Regina felt a little more accomplished than she expected to when Emma was practically panting against her lips.
"What does this mean?" Emma asked, and her voice was still a whisper. Regina bit down on her lower lip in thought, eyes fluttering open so she could look into startlingly intense green ones.
"I don't know," she said honestly. "But I'd like to figure it out together."
Emma just stared at her for a while, and Regina felt her whole body going numb with anticipation. Finally, wordlessly, Emma pushed off of the light post, backing Regina off a little before taking the woman's hand and tugging her into the diner with her; heading towards the back stairs that lead to the rooms of the inn. And with that, the knot in Regina's stomach exploded.
It was the most she had felt in years.