Life got in the way of my Conqueror story again. It seems I've been studying so much lately even my braincells hurt!
As a means of diversion I've written this silly little thing ^^
I've always liked Gabrielle's naivety in the earlier seasons. So I could easily imagine something like this happpening :p
Note: This is my leisure deprived brain at work. I apologise for any sillyness (and newly invented english words *cough*)

To book a room

The door creaked when it opened. Xena stood with her back to the door opening, but she didn't worry. The coming footfalls had already betrayed its owner's intentions. Without turning around she called to the intruder.

"Had a good night, bard?"

"Oh, Xena, you wouldn't believe the audacity of people!"

"I never do, Gabrielle. But stupidity seems to be a common illness these days."

Gabrielle huffed. "Well, then this guy was seriously sick!"

Xena grinned and turned around. "Why? What happened? Did they ask you to sing the Joxer the Mighty song again? I could kill them for you, just point them out."

"And get him a free room in Tartarus? I don't think so!"

The warrior frowned at the bard, confused. "Okay...so what did happen exactly?"

Gabrielle stood a little taller and moved her hands as she spoke. "Well, when I was done telling the story of Prometheus, this guy came up to the stage with his drunken friends and asked me if he could join us upstairs for a private performance."

The warrior's eyebrow went up, but Gabrielle continued unhindered.

"So I told him I was done telling tales for the evening, and they found that very funny for some reason... Anyway, he said he just wanted to join us in our room. So I told him to get his own room."

Xena's other eyebrow joined the first. "And what did he say to that?"

"That's what I don't understand! He said he already had a room, but he would cancel it."

"Would he now?" The warrior's eyes gleamed dangerously.

"Yeah, so I told him he was a cheap no-good panhandler if he didn't even want to pay for a room."

The bard went silent. Xena nodded for her to continue.

"Well, he got mad and tried to grab my staff, so I hit him in the head. Then the tavern owner came over and yelled something about this being a family establishment and for the men to find the alley with the pink veils if they didn't want to pay for a room, before he threw them out."

Xena smiled and sat back on the bed. "Good."

"Good? Xena, if they got free rooms at that pink veil alley, then what are we wasting our dinars here for?"

Xena chuckled. "Believe me Gabrielle, you don't want to go there."

The bard crossed her arms in a stuborn way. "Why not? It may not be the best but..."

"Because the rooms are not for sleeping."

"Not for..." Suddenly it seemed to dawn on her. "Oh... Oooooh!" The bard's eyes grew wide and Xena watched in amusement as her young friend figured it out.

"So, he actually...he meant..." She mumbled. Suddenly her eyes narrowed in a way it made even Xena uncomfortable.

"Xena..."

The warrior swallowed. "Yes, Gabrielle?"

"I just have to point him out, right?"

"You don't really want me to kill him, do you?"

"If you don't, I will tie them all up and sing them the Joxer the Mighty song until their ears start to bleed."
"Gabrielle! That's torture!"

"You're damn right it is!"

Xena rolled her eyes and laid down on the bed. "Let's just go to sleep." She sighed. All remained quiet for a few moments. Then she felt Gabrielle's hot breath against her ear.

"Joxer the Mighty! Roams through the countryside!"

"Gabrielle!"

"HE NEVER NEEDS A PLACE TO HIDE! WITH GABBY AS HIS SIDEKICK!"

Xena growled and jumped out of bed, grabbing her sword and chakram from a little table, and bolted out of the room. Gabrielle just giggled and went to bed with a satisfied little smile on her face.