I loved to watch Remus sleep after making love. I loved watching his naked chest rise and fall with his deep breaths. How his face would slacken and his wrinkles would soften. How his eyelashes would lightly graze his cheeks.
It would always make me laugh when his dream would cause him to scrunch his nose. And it was in these moments, with his arms wrapped around me and with his eyes closed that I could look at him and admit to myself how much I had come to care for this charming, courageous, wonderful man.
And for a long moment, I would lay there and imagine how wonderful it would be to be able to say "I love you" and to watch his eyes soften as he heard what I said. How I, in my bashfulness, would lower my gaze while he slowly sauntered over and gently cup my face in his hands to push my face up until I looked into his eyes (filled with tenderness) while he said "I love you too".
I can't bring myself to admit what I feel and the feel of his arms on me now feels like a trap rather than comforting. I sit up slowly as to not wake him but I indubitably fail. He snuggles closer as I let my feet touch the bed, he is sitting next to me now. His face is looking at my profile and I can tell that he knows something is bothering me.
He smiles gently at me and asks,
"Hermione... what's wrong?"
One of his hands slowly rubs soothing circles on my back as the other goes down my arm until his hand is on mine. For a minute I let myself revel in his touch. I love when he touches me, I remember when we first got together I would stare at his fingers and marvel at the magic that the held, how they could take me to such heights of pleasure and how those same fingers could bring me such comfort.
"Nothing, I just can't sleep is all" I say as I sigh and move away from his touch, the pain of him never being mine seems to increase the longer I let him touch me. I can see out of the corner of my eye that his smile falls into a frown. I can't sit next to him, he's too observant and he can read me too well and I don't want him to know that this is hurting me because these nights with him are what I look forward to throughout the day.
I slowly stand and I am facing the full length mirror as I stare at my nakedness.
The full length mirror was a gift for him from me. I had always wanted to watch him watching me while we had sex.
Remus came behind me and slowly wraps his hands around my abdomen, making sure to lightly touch my skin in a gentle caress. I couldn't help but moan softly. He always knew how to touch me to make me melt.
He gives a throaty laugh in reply as he slowly trails kisses on the back of my neck to my collarbone, letting his stubble lightly scape sensitive skin there and I want him.