Willow shook in her bed, sweat pouring from her body and fists
tightly bunched in the sheets. It hurt so much. It hurt like nothing else
had ever hurt before. Not even the moment Oz walked out of her life had
hurt as much as the burning that filled her now. In desperation she pulled
on sweat pants and a shirt before heading to the kitchen. A drink would
keep her hands busy and cool her down. The kitchen was dark and Willow had
to control her initial impulse to reach out with her mind and flick on the
light switch. she did it with a tired and aching arm instead.
The water she poured herself didn't help. Nor did the juice after
that. The chocolate chip ice cream didn't even look tempting. She wanted a
Magnum, the white kind covered in coconut. She recognized within herself
that she only wanted it because there wasn't one, but that didn't make the
wanting go away.
With a resigned sigh she shoved unwilling feet into a pair of
sneakers and made for the all night service station where she could get
said magnum just in time to not want it anymore. Her feet sounded so loud
on the pavement, she didn't weight that much, surely she wasn't making as
much noise and she felt like she was making? Right?
Some half hour later with magnum clutched firmly in hand, Willow made
her way back towards the Summers' household. She didn't want to see Dawn,
not after what had happened. She didn't really want to see Buffy either.
Dawn would forgive her, it was in her nature, and Buffy would give her
unconditional support, but the way Willow was feeling right then, she
doubted it'd be enough. How was she supposed to overcome this? She
desperately wanted to be back in school where if she held the pencil wrong
in kindergarten a teacher who was bigger and infinitely more powerful than
her would stand over her and make her do it right. She wished longingly for
a figure that would make sure she didn't relapse. she was so scared of
hurting someone she loved. Hurting Tara again.
Like the proverbial ray of sunshine, crack of lighting and appearance
of an overhead light, she knew whom she could go too. The one person who
would be honor bound to help her, but wouldn't coddle her in the slightest.
The only one she knew who could, and would, scream and yell and frighten
her into doing what was best.
A quick change of direction and the small red head (who was already
feeling better) was marching through one of Sunny Dale's larger cemeteries
with a purpose. She needed to go see a vampire about a little therapy.
Bleach blonde hair stood up at all sorts of weird angles as the vampire it was attached to slept soundly on the couch. His TV was still on, forgotten in his weariness and allowed to fill the room with a spooky half- light that accentuated his naked torso. So deeply asleep was he, that he didn't hear the tentative little knock at his door. Didn't stir as his vault was intruded upon by a little slip of a girl. only when a small hand even cooler than his own shook lightly at his shoulder did he come awake. "Witch? What do you want then? You look like shit." He mumbled, each statement running seamlessly into the next as the vampire slowly came awake. "Can I talk to you?" To say Willow wasn't afraid of Spike would be a lie. Deep down inside Willow remembered very clearly what it was like to be small and powerless. Somewhere in her there would always be that girl who was just a little bit frightened of everything, and Spike had been the embodiment of all that fear. Consequently, she was cautious and unsure of how to ask for the help she so desperately needed. Spike's scared eyebrow rose and he swung himself up until he was sitting on the couch and patted the space he'd made next to him. "Have a seat Witch, The tormented and the damned can always find time for each other." Unsure if she was the tormented one, or the damned one, Willow sat, searching inside her for a way not to be afraid. "I was out walking." she started but then stopped. That sounded pathetic even to her. Spike frowned and stared a little more intently at the girl across from him. She was sweating, her hands bunched into fists and gripped tightly. She rocked back and forward just slightly where she sat in the manner of a confused and frightened child. "Red, Did somethin' attack you out there? Is that why you came in? You want me to take you home?" Why didn't that disgust him again? "No no. no bad guys." she looked resolutely at her knees and bit hard into her bottom lip, "Just me." A vague kind of realization dawned on Spike then and he smiled just slightly. "Your frightened of it aren't you? The thing that you are, the power you can wield. terrifies you, don't it pet?" He smirked and reached over to flick some hair off her neck, "Now why come to me with your fears little witch? Buffy be mighty pissed." "Buffy wont stop me." She mumbled quietly and for a moment Spike thought that Buffy wasn't going to help Willow quit. "She can't get angry with me, and she wont yell at me if I do something wrong." Finally Spike understood, much to his own amusement, what Willow was really asking, "I just need someone who wont back down." With her clear but pained green eyes looking out above her cute little button nose, Willow begged him to help her. To yell at her, to take her on. "You want me to play guardian pet? Not really my area is it? Why would I do somethin' like that for you, even if I could?" "Because Buffy would thank you for it." Willow whispered softly. For a moment there was silence and then, in an apparent rage, Spike stood and sent the small coffee table that was sitting by his couch flying into the wall of the crypt with one well placed kick. Willow screamed once and cowered into the corner of the couch as the mad vampire turned on her, only to fall to his knees on the floor and put his forehead on her knees. "S'not fair Witch, I'm bloody useless. I can't bite anythin', can't hurt anythin'. Nothin' to do with the bloody chip anymore, its her. Its all her." Spike raised his eyes which were wild with emotion and looked at her brokenly, "She owns me." Unsure of what to say, Willow gently patted Spike's shoulder and leaned over to speak softly to him. "Please help me, I'm a slave to the magic just as you are to Buffy. Maybe I could help you to? Set you up on a date with someone else maybe? Or, or we could hang, you know, so you're not by yourself." The frown on Spike's face as he considered the proposition was almost comical. He weighted the pro's and con's, they went a little as follows. Pro: He'd be doing something good, which rated rather well in Buffy's books and, disturbingly enough, the idea didn't disgust him too much either. Con: Buffy might not exactly see it that way and kick his ass for spending to much time with Willow. Pro: The little Witch was killer funny, not hard on the eyes and she was sociably. friendly even. Spike lacked friends. Con: Buffy was so going to kick his ass. The list continued, with the Buffy kicking his ass argument being the only one that held any weight. "If the Slayer finds out she'll kill both of us Witch, and you know it." "So she wont find out. Please Spike, she doesn't really pay any attention to what I do anyway and as long as when she DOES look I'm getting better she wont look any further into it. You don't even have to be around me all the time just. take my old mobile and let me call you when I need you, and I'll give you my number and if you wanna hang you can ring me! It'd be kinda like we were friends, only with you not really wanting to be my friend." Willow's sentences all ran together and it was almost like her hair was long again, like she was wearing a gray dress and doing extra homework. This disturbed Spike for some reason, he'd been so pleased when he'd seen Willow again that the girl had grown a backbone. Almost proud when she'd broken the lamp over his head. little witch had stones all right, just needed to show 'em more often. "Right. Your goin' to get me crucified witch, you know that don't you?" he moved back up to the couch and sat next to her with his head hanging back and his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. "What's that then?" He asked looking at the magnum. "Oh, coconut magnum, I walked to the store because I wanted one, but I don't think I'll finish it now. only wanted it because it wasn't in the fridge, you know?" Spike nodded and eyed the ice cream speculatively. "Think I could steal a nibble? Haven't had ice cream in a long time. Always was fond enough of coconut to, make the blood a little crunchy and kinda tropical." "Spike. that's gross! Hehehe and I never thought I'd hear you ask for a bite of my ice cream, here," she held out the magnum by the stick for Spike to bite. Spike moved his mouth over a small section and whinced at how cold it was, his game face came out and he took an almost vindictive bite. "Ohh. that is tasty in'it. May have to get me'self a stock of those for the fridge." He let his game face recede and looked at Willow up and down. "So, how does this friendship thing usually start? Haven't had one in a while you know." He whispered almost conspiratorially. Willow giggled and took a bite of the ice cream herself before relaxing back to think about the question. "Well. I guess we could do the whole 'getting to know you' thing. I don't really know anything about you. other than the obvious." "Not sure there is much more than the obvious to know pet, I'm a simple guy." Sitting up straighter on the couch and getting into her little talk Willow firmly disagreed. "No! No that's not true! I mean, when was the last time you met another vampire who fell in love with people. Not including Angel who so doesn't count! And how come you haven't taken the chip out? I know you could if you wanted to, hell I can think if a DOZEN ways I could do it without any help from anyone. And how come you live in this dingy little crypt when I happen to know for a fact you have a bank account to rival bill gates?" Spike's eyes had become progressively wider as Willow became progressively more confident in her argument. "Witch. calm down. your asking questions about things you've no rights knowin'. How exactly is it you know the size of my bank account?" Looking somewhat sheepish, Willow shrank back towards the corner of the couch again and bit on her lip. "You paid some of Buffy's bills for her, The bank rang to let Buffy know that she didn't have to worry about it anymore and I got curious about who did it so. I did a little. snooping!" "You hacked the banks systems and then checked how big my bank account was?" "Yes. but not to do anything bad! I was just curious." "People get arrested for that kind of curiosity witch." There was silence for a while and neither really knew what to say. The magnum was passed back and forward in a silence that wasn't as uncomfortable as it should have been until Willow licked the stick clean and looked around for a bin. "Under that cupboard over there Pet." The vampire told her quietly. "Think it might be just about time for you to head home. You not there when the Slayer wakes up and there will be hell to pay." "She's not home tonight. all nighter at the Double meat palace. I'd have been gone by the time she got home anyway. I don't want to talk to her yet. Could I stay here?" her eyes were wide and hopeful. "Here now that's a bit of a jump in'it? Goin' right from 'can we be friends' to 'can I sleep over'. You lost your marbles pet?" The red head bit her lip and looked up at him pleadingly. At least Spike didn't ask questions she couldn't answer, didn't demand things she didn't have. "All right! Don't look at me with that big lost puppy face! You can stay." he looked from her to the trapdoor down to his room with only one bed, "I'm not chivalrous enough to give you the bed to yourself so its either be a grownup and share, damn things a queen size, or you can sleep on the couch." Looking down at the ratty couch which looked about to collapse under her weight and then to the trap door that lead down to the 'bedroom'. Spike couldn't hurt her anymore, chipped. She wasn't completely convinced he'd hurt her even if he could. He wouldn't try anything anyway, totally in love with Buffy. "I'll. I'll share the bed if you don't mind to much." "Not a problem pet, haven't had a warm body in it for a long time." He waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. "Oh come off it!" she said with more irritation than she meant to, "Everyone in the whole world knows your thing for Buffy, and more to the point everyone's LACK of thing for me. Just. don't play with me right now OK? In the name of this friendship thing? If you wanna be smart you can start first thing tomorrow morning. after my shower, oh and breakfast I'm no good till after breakfast!" With an almost contrite look on his face, Spike helped her down the ladder and shed his pants while Willow resolutely turned her back. For her sake he put on a pair of black silk boxers, he didn't really understand the aversion to nakedness that the living had. He had a nice body! Hell it was damn sexy even if he did say so himself! Willow shucked the track pants off and slipped under the covers. They lay facing each other for a while before the talking began, and once begun it didn't stop until dawn.
Bleach blonde hair stood up at all sorts of weird angles as the vampire it was attached to slept soundly on the couch. His TV was still on, forgotten in his weariness and allowed to fill the room with a spooky half- light that accentuated his naked torso. So deeply asleep was he, that he didn't hear the tentative little knock at his door. Didn't stir as his vault was intruded upon by a little slip of a girl. only when a small hand even cooler than his own shook lightly at his shoulder did he come awake. "Witch? What do you want then? You look like shit." He mumbled, each statement running seamlessly into the next as the vampire slowly came awake. "Can I talk to you?" To say Willow wasn't afraid of Spike would be a lie. Deep down inside Willow remembered very clearly what it was like to be small and powerless. Somewhere in her there would always be that girl who was just a little bit frightened of everything, and Spike had been the embodiment of all that fear. Consequently, she was cautious and unsure of how to ask for the help she so desperately needed. Spike's scared eyebrow rose and he swung himself up until he was sitting on the couch and patted the space he'd made next to him. "Have a seat Witch, The tormented and the damned can always find time for each other." Unsure if she was the tormented one, or the damned one, Willow sat, searching inside her for a way not to be afraid. "I was out walking." she started but then stopped. That sounded pathetic even to her. Spike frowned and stared a little more intently at the girl across from him. She was sweating, her hands bunched into fists and gripped tightly. She rocked back and forward just slightly where she sat in the manner of a confused and frightened child. "Red, Did somethin' attack you out there? Is that why you came in? You want me to take you home?" Why didn't that disgust him again? "No no. no bad guys." she looked resolutely at her knees and bit hard into her bottom lip, "Just me." A vague kind of realization dawned on Spike then and he smiled just slightly. "Your frightened of it aren't you? The thing that you are, the power you can wield. terrifies you, don't it pet?" He smirked and reached over to flick some hair off her neck, "Now why come to me with your fears little witch? Buffy be mighty pissed." "Buffy wont stop me." She mumbled quietly and for a moment Spike thought that Buffy wasn't going to help Willow quit. "She can't get angry with me, and she wont yell at me if I do something wrong." Finally Spike understood, much to his own amusement, what Willow was really asking, "I just need someone who wont back down." With her clear but pained green eyes looking out above her cute little button nose, Willow begged him to help her. To yell at her, to take her on. "You want me to play guardian pet? Not really my area is it? Why would I do somethin' like that for you, even if I could?" "Because Buffy would thank you for it." Willow whispered softly. For a moment there was silence and then, in an apparent rage, Spike stood and sent the small coffee table that was sitting by his couch flying into the wall of the crypt with one well placed kick. Willow screamed once and cowered into the corner of the couch as the mad vampire turned on her, only to fall to his knees on the floor and put his forehead on her knees. "S'not fair Witch, I'm bloody useless. I can't bite anythin', can't hurt anythin'. Nothin' to do with the bloody chip anymore, its her. Its all her." Spike raised his eyes which were wild with emotion and looked at her brokenly, "She owns me." Unsure of what to say, Willow gently patted Spike's shoulder and leaned over to speak softly to him. "Please help me, I'm a slave to the magic just as you are to Buffy. Maybe I could help you to? Set you up on a date with someone else maybe? Or, or we could hang, you know, so you're not by yourself." The frown on Spike's face as he considered the proposition was almost comical. He weighted the pro's and con's, they went a little as follows. Pro: He'd be doing something good, which rated rather well in Buffy's books and, disturbingly enough, the idea didn't disgust him too much either. Con: Buffy might not exactly see it that way and kick his ass for spending to much time with Willow. Pro: The little Witch was killer funny, not hard on the eyes and she was sociably. friendly even. Spike lacked friends. Con: Buffy was so going to kick his ass. The list continued, with the Buffy kicking his ass argument being the only one that held any weight. "If the Slayer finds out she'll kill both of us Witch, and you know it." "So she wont find out. Please Spike, she doesn't really pay any attention to what I do anyway and as long as when she DOES look I'm getting better she wont look any further into it. You don't even have to be around me all the time just. take my old mobile and let me call you when I need you, and I'll give you my number and if you wanna hang you can ring me! It'd be kinda like we were friends, only with you not really wanting to be my friend." Willow's sentences all ran together and it was almost like her hair was long again, like she was wearing a gray dress and doing extra homework. This disturbed Spike for some reason, he'd been so pleased when he'd seen Willow again that the girl had grown a backbone. Almost proud when she'd broken the lamp over his head. little witch had stones all right, just needed to show 'em more often. "Right. Your goin' to get me crucified witch, you know that don't you?" he moved back up to the couch and sat next to her with his head hanging back and his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. "What's that then?" He asked looking at the magnum. "Oh, coconut magnum, I walked to the store because I wanted one, but I don't think I'll finish it now. only wanted it because it wasn't in the fridge, you know?" Spike nodded and eyed the ice cream speculatively. "Think I could steal a nibble? Haven't had ice cream in a long time. Always was fond enough of coconut to, make the blood a little crunchy and kinda tropical." "Spike. that's gross! Hehehe and I never thought I'd hear you ask for a bite of my ice cream, here," she held out the magnum by the stick for Spike to bite. Spike moved his mouth over a small section and whinced at how cold it was, his game face came out and he took an almost vindictive bite. "Ohh. that is tasty in'it. May have to get me'self a stock of those for the fridge." He let his game face recede and looked at Willow up and down. "So, how does this friendship thing usually start? Haven't had one in a while you know." He whispered almost conspiratorially. Willow giggled and took a bite of the ice cream herself before relaxing back to think about the question. "Well. I guess we could do the whole 'getting to know you' thing. I don't really know anything about you. other than the obvious." "Not sure there is much more than the obvious to know pet, I'm a simple guy." Sitting up straighter on the couch and getting into her little talk Willow firmly disagreed. "No! No that's not true! I mean, when was the last time you met another vampire who fell in love with people. Not including Angel who so doesn't count! And how come you haven't taken the chip out? I know you could if you wanted to, hell I can think if a DOZEN ways I could do it without any help from anyone. And how come you live in this dingy little crypt when I happen to know for a fact you have a bank account to rival bill gates?" Spike's eyes had become progressively wider as Willow became progressively more confident in her argument. "Witch. calm down. your asking questions about things you've no rights knowin'. How exactly is it you know the size of my bank account?" Looking somewhat sheepish, Willow shrank back towards the corner of the couch again and bit on her lip. "You paid some of Buffy's bills for her, The bank rang to let Buffy know that she didn't have to worry about it anymore and I got curious about who did it so. I did a little. snooping!" "You hacked the banks systems and then checked how big my bank account was?" "Yes. but not to do anything bad! I was just curious." "People get arrested for that kind of curiosity witch." There was silence for a while and neither really knew what to say. The magnum was passed back and forward in a silence that wasn't as uncomfortable as it should have been until Willow licked the stick clean and looked around for a bin. "Under that cupboard over there Pet." The vampire told her quietly. "Think it might be just about time for you to head home. You not there when the Slayer wakes up and there will be hell to pay." "She's not home tonight. all nighter at the Double meat palace. I'd have been gone by the time she got home anyway. I don't want to talk to her yet. Could I stay here?" her eyes were wide and hopeful. "Here now that's a bit of a jump in'it? Goin' right from 'can we be friends' to 'can I sleep over'. You lost your marbles pet?" The red head bit her lip and looked up at him pleadingly. At least Spike didn't ask questions she couldn't answer, didn't demand things she didn't have. "All right! Don't look at me with that big lost puppy face! You can stay." he looked from her to the trapdoor down to his room with only one bed, "I'm not chivalrous enough to give you the bed to yourself so its either be a grownup and share, damn things a queen size, or you can sleep on the couch." Looking down at the ratty couch which looked about to collapse under her weight and then to the trap door that lead down to the 'bedroom'. Spike couldn't hurt her anymore, chipped. She wasn't completely convinced he'd hurt her even if he could. He wouldn't try anything anyway, totally in love with Buffy. "I'll. I'll share the bed if you don't mind to much." "Not a problem pet, haven't had a warm body in it for a long time." He waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. "Oh come off it!" she said with more irritation than she meant to, "Everyone in the whole world knows your thing for Buffy, and more to the point everyone's LACK of thing for me. Just. don't play with me right now OK? In the name of this friendship thing? If you wanna be smart you can start first thing tomorrow morning. after my shower, oh and breakfast I'm no good till after breakfast!" With an almost contrite look on his face, Spike helped her down the ladder and shed his pants while Willow resolutely turned her back. For her sake he put on a pair of black silk boxers, he didn't really understand the aversion to nakedness that the living had. He had a nice body! Hell it was damn sexy even if he did say so himself! Willow shucked the track pants off and slipped under the covers. They lay facing each other for a while before the talking began, and once begun it didn't stop until dawn.