I Was Going to Keep It a Secret

by Totally-Out-Of-It

Every year during the winter season, Hwarang Academy hosts a school wide Secret Santa Gift Exchange. In Banryu's final year, he pulled Kim Sooyeon's name. That year, he got many gifts from someone who knew him very well, but he couldn't figure out who. That year, Banryu realized maybe he was in love. Suryu.

I Was Going to Keep It a Secret

Every year during the winter season, Hwarang Academy hosts a school wide Secret Santa Gift Exchange. In Banryu's final year, he pulled Kim Sooyeon's name and learned that he knew nothing about her (except what was related to her brother). That year, Banryu got many, many, gifts from someone who knew him very well, but he couldn't figure out who. That year, Banryu realized maybe he was in love. Suryu.

…

…

For npse on AO3, who loves Suryu. Merry Christmas (or whatever you celebrate)!

Sorry if their characterization isn't awesome. I never really considered writing Suryu before and I had literally no one to beta this for me that has watched the show. (My beta only knows about Sundwi because I couldn't shut up about them while watching).

I meant to post this on Christmas, but I only started writing it on the 23rd and then Holiday Stuff got in the way and I didn't have time, and then I had to wait until my beta had time to see to it. But here it is!

…

…

Kim Sooyeon

The name stared judgmentally back at him from the plain white card. Simple black text on simple cardstock. Clearly it was the most evil creation since the beginning of the world.

Kim Sooyeon

Every year, the prestigious Hwarang Academy held a Secret Santa Gift Exchange. It was, relatively speaking, a new tradition, as Christmas got more and more popular in Korea and gifts other than holiday money became more accepted and expected. But the school had been doing the gift exchange for years before Banryu ever began attending two years ago. He hadn't minded the tradition, had actually liked the excuse to spend his step-father's money on thoughtful gifts for his classmates. And even though it included the entire school, Banryu had always gotten someone he knew at least a little bit. One had been the daughter of a worker at his father's company and the other was a guy he'd attended elementary and middle school with, though they'd never been friends.

This year, his final year, he felt at a loss for the first time.

Kim Sooyeon

She was the daughter of Kim Seub, head of the rival company to Banryu's adoptive father's own. Banryu had seen her at parties and business events he'd attended with his father, but what did he know about her? He hadn't even been aware that she'd started at the academy this year.

Banryu rolled over on his bed to lie on his side rather than his back and, pillowing his head with his arm, continued staring at the card he'd pulled during the assembly at school that afternoon.

Kim Sooyeon

Her brother was Kim Suho, who considered Banryu his greatest rival. One day they would take over their father's companies and try to be more successful than the other, to ruin each other's businesses. Unless their father's managed that themselves. But he wasn't getting a present for Suho, he was getting a present for Sooyeon.

She was pretty. Her hair was long and straight and pure black, and she always wore some of it pinned back with realistically detailed floral pins. When they had been younger, Suho had also had long hair that was straight and pure black and had pinned part of it back using pins, but his had been simpler in design and usually included only a single multi-faceted gemstone of some kind. Then they'd entered middle school and Suho had shown up for the first day with short cropped hair and no gemstones on his pins, though he still wore shiny stud earrings.

No, Sooyeon. He needed a gift idea for Sooyeon.

Did she play any sports? Suho had several awards from the kumdo club he was part of and held the record for fastest runner in his school year for every class he and Banryu had ever been part of. Not to mention the dozens of medals he'd won in dressage, cross country, and show jumping equestrian competitions. Banryu cast his eyes briefly to the dozens of silver medals for those same equestrian competitions, knowing that his father was continuously disappointed that Banryu couldn't throw Suho from his golden pedestal.

Sooyeon. Did Sooyeon play any sports?

Mentally chastising himself, Banryu dragged his eyes back to the card in his hands. He didn't think Sooyeon played any sports. He hadn't heard of any competitions or awards from his father, but that could simply be because Sooyeon wasn't in a position to take over her father's company and so his father hadn't deemed her important to keep track of through the years.

Sooyeon was very pretty. Guys were always flirting with her and trying to win her hand, even in elementary school. But Suho always got between them, not letting any 'worthless jerks' even think of dating his precious little sister. The action always earned Suho a harsh tug on his ear or a painful pull on his hair or even a smack or punch on his back or stomach from Sooyeon, who insisted she could take care of herself. Given that she was Suho's little sister, and the headlocks and teasing Suho always gave her, Banryu had never doubted that Sooyeon could definitely handle herself.

Sighing, Banryu considered. Maybe he could just get her money. It was an acceptable present, and it was actually expected that most of the student body would provide each other with money if they didn't personally know their chosen person.

But Banryu should know Kim Sooyeon. They had been in each other's public circles all their lives. So how come he didn't know anything more about her other than her appearance and her relationship with her brother?

No, he couldn't just get Sooyeon money. Suho would never let him live it down if he found out. And he would find out.

…

…

School started oddly the next day. Banryu walked in as usual and put his stuff in his locker at the back of the room, then pulled out what he needed for his first class. That was normal enough. But when he turned around he saw there was an envelope on his desk.

He picked the envelope up while still standing. It definitely had his name on it. Banryu cast his eyes around the room but no one was paying him any mind. Even Suho, who usually watched him for any chance to start a competition, was more interested in the activities of students outside the window than Banryu's mysterious mail.

Carefully, Banryu broke the seal on the envelope and pulled out what was inside. It wasn't a letter, as he'd expected. It was a pair of slim, thick papers. Duplicates of each other, as far as Banryu could tell at a glance. They were dark in color, with stars all across the background. The night sky. There was also text written across them.

Stargazing Event

They were tickets! Tickets to a stargazing event a city over, scheduled for Christmas night!

Now Banryu looked around again, more earnestly. Who knew he liked looking at the stars? The only time Banryu could remember telling anyone he liked stars was to his friend Kim Shin. There had been a business party the night before, and Banryu had escaped the suffocating masses of people trying to suck up to him, as the next head of the company, and gone to the roof to watch the stars instead. It was his go to escape at parties like that.

He liked to think his real parents were looking down on him from those stars. Or that he could someday reach out and touch those stars, rather than always being under his adoptive father's oppressive thumb.

The next day, Shin had asked where Banryu had disappeared to, and Banryu had admitted to his escape. He'd missed some drama involving Suho arrogantly insulting one of Banryu's father's business partners. Apparently there had almost been a full out row and Suho saying some rather unflattering things about the man's extramarital activities. At the time, Banryu had only thought that the man deserved it, after trying to proposition Banryu himself earlier in the night. Later, he had briefly entertained the idea that Suho had accosted the man because of his proposition to Banryu, except how would Suho have known, and why would he care?

Now, Banryu wondered if Shin had told anyone else about the stargazing. Shin wasn't the kind of person to buy gifts for someone unless he was getting something out of it. He hadn't even looked at his card yesterday, simply told their entire group of friends that he had already prepared his money envelope just for this occasion. But who had he told? And if not him, then who knew, and how?

"Oi! Kim Suho!"

Speaking of Kim Shin, he'd just entered the room himself. Suho turned his attention from the window, glanced over at Banryu, and then let his attention fall on Shin. "What?" he asked with a frown.

Shin spoke as he put his things in his locker. "I heard you won another kumdo competition," he said, and it almost sounded like a compliment except everyone knew that Banryu's friends and Suho's friends never got along. "Do you plan on running your business like a feudal warrior lord because you have no brain, only muscle?"

Well, there they go. Banryu slipped the tickets back into their envelope and the envelope into his jacket pocket. By the time he'd finished those two small acts, Suho's face had darkened and begun to turn red.

"Yah! Do you want to die?!" he shouted, shoving himself to his feet and pointing angrily at Shin, who looked supremely pleased with himself.

"Of course you resort to violence," Shin countered calmly, waving one hand about lazily. "Like I said, all brawn and no brain."

Suho pushed his chair out of the way so he could stalk toward Shin, but Banryu got between the two of them, stopping Suho in his tracks with his mere presence. "You really want to fight in the classroom?" Banryu asked, frowning. "Maybe you really are that dumb."

Fuming, his face turning red all over, Suho growled, "You have shit friends, Park. Now outta my way unless you want the first punch."

Banryu smirked. "I'd gladly take the punch to see you take the consequences."

It looked like Suho was fighting himself, desperately wanting to punch Banryu – or more likely, Shin – but knowing Banryu was right and he'd get consequences two-fold if he did. First he would be punished by the school, by his teacher and the principal, and then by his father when he'd returned home. Getting Suho riled up was incredibly easy, but it was also pretty easy to manipulate him into not acting as well. It had provided Banryu with many hours of entertainment over the years.

"Instead of fighting with our fists," Shin suggested as he sauntered over, "let's fight with our feet."

The implication hit Suho in an instant and the red left his face as he smiled. He snapped his fingers at Shin and then pointed at Banryu, so close that his finger was almost touching Banryu's nose. "Soccer! Yes! We'll settle this on the field after school! And you'd better not back out, Park!"

One of Suho's friends, Jang Hyun, came up to Suho's shoulder and spoke in a quiet voice that was still easily heard in the now silent classroom. "We're two members short for a game."

"The hell are you talking about?" Suho snapped, much louder than Jang Hyun had been.

Jang Hyun gave a helpless shrug. "It's just me, you, and Dansae at school today."

That made Banryu and Shin snort. "I guess you'll lose by default," Banryu said with a slight grin.

Flipping his attention back on Banryu, Suho said, "I will not! We're having this game, and we'll both have full teams. Mark me, you jerk!"

"There will most definitely be a brawl then. I'll bring my camera," Yeo Wool chimed from the center of the room. No one even glanced his way.

Sometimes Suho came over as very mature and capable. Usually this was when he was doing work for his father's company, when he was on horseback, or when he held a sword. At those times, Banryu couldn't help but be impressed by Suho. He was smart, talented, and softly confident.

And sometimes Suho was the dumbest person Banryu had ever met. The entire school knew, by now, that the only sport Suho was absolute crap at was soccer. Conversely, soccer was the only group sport Banryu had any real skill in. Why Suho always accepted, and usually insisted on, soccer matches to resolve disputes continued to baffle Banryu, and no doubt all of their classmates.

It did make for good fun, though. And Banryu loved seeing Suho trying so hard to win even one point on him during the games.

...

…

"Aiiiiisch!"

The annoyed yowl was audible even in the hallway and Banryu recognized Suho's voice immediately. The rest of the conversation wasn't clear to him until he entered the classroom and saw Suho laying across his own desk, a piece of white cardstock held in his hands as far from his face as he could get it.

"I don't even know who this guy is," Suho complained, rolling his head back and forth between his extended arms petulantly. He resembled a puppy and Banryu hid a smile. "How am I supposed to buy him a gift?"

"Get him holiday money like everyone else?" Jang Hyun suggested, already turning away from the conversation to sit in his seat facing the board.

Banryu shook his head and opened his locker, then paused. There was a small package on top of his school books, wrapped in brown paper and with his name written on it in black marker. The handwriting was florid, contrasting with the simple packaging in a way that left Banryu wondering if the giver was trying to be subtle or impress him, or somehow both. It made Banryu think of Suho, but Suho wouldn't know what 'subtle' meant if Banryu wrote the definition on the board and had Suho read it aloud.

Behind him the conversation continued. "You know him though," a calm voice, belonging to Suk Dansae, chipped in. He was one of the few people in the world who didn't annoy Banryu and it was because he always seemed so down to Earth and rational. "Remember? He scored almost every goal in our soccer game the other day."

Suho let out a cheer of a gasp. "That's right!" he said, loudly. "Kim Sunwoo! Haha!" He sat upright and devoured the name on the card almost greedily now. "Well he definitely deserves more than holiday money for helping me to finally wipe that arrogant smirk off Banryu's face!" The next part was clearly aimed at Banryu even though Suho didn't look at him. "How'd that feel, by the way, Park? How'd it feel to finally see I'm better than you?"

When Banryu turned to shoot Suho a glare, Suho also turned to him with a grin and sparkle in his eyes. He obviously thought he'd embarrassed Banryu, considering they'd had that soccer match in front of a crowd, and it was true that he had. But the loss wasn't a big deal to Banryu after the fact because it had not gotten back to his adoptive father yet, nor had it resulted in a change of his popularity and treatment at school. The girls still swooned if he even gave them a glance, as they did for Suho as well. No one was bullying him or looking down on him. Some guy in another class entirely was now popular in his own room, that was all.

He did wish Suho wouldn't be so conceited about it though. Banryu sneered, "Big talk for someone who didn't score any points on his own, don't you think?"

Then he turned away before Suho had even fully registered the comment and picked up the package. He left the room, hearing Suho shout behind him, "How dare y-Hey! Where are you going? Yah! Banryu! Banryu!"

When he was outside and away from others, Banryu opened the package. The first thing he saw was a plain black frame, and then the brown paper was gone and he saw the picture. It wasn't a photo but written words. A blue and white sketch style background with black text.

Tomorrow you will be stronger

Than you are today

Bare your teeth and bare your scars

Spread your wings and fly away

Today is harder than you thought

And no one knows your fight

But in time you will win and

Be able to say you're alright

Keep fighting

Banryu knew this poem. He'd written this poem. It was one of several he'd submitted for publishing under the pseudonym of Flowering Scholar. It wasn't the one he'd won an award for, but it had been published as part of a set on the theme of Depression and Hardship for a literary journal last year.

He'd written it thinking about his adoptive father. Every day he came home fearing that something he'd done would bring harm to one of his father's workers. Park Youngshil rarely laid a hand on Banryu himself, though it had happened once or twice. Instead he would hurt others and have Banryu watch, then scold Banryu on how his actions had caused them pain.

When he was legally an adult, Banryu was determined to put a stop to his father. He didn't know how he would do it yet, but he had vowed countless times to never let it continue once he had the power to act.

Who had sent him this? How did they know he'd written this poem? What did they want?

No. Why would someone gift him a copy of his own poem? But if that wasn't it…

Banryu shot a quick glance around for anyone spying on him, but found no one, when the thought hit him: rather than knowing Banryu wrote in secret, they must know about how his father treated him. But that was impossible. Banryu had never told anyone, not even hinted at it. Who could know?

Were the tickets from this same person? Then they knew some of his biggest secrets. They knew he would rather stargaze than do business and they knew Park Youngshil was abusive, emotionally and physically. And somehow they had picked a poem written by Banryu himself to gift to him as a way to tell him things would get better.

Someone must be watching him. Closely. Would that be his Santa? Had they just been waiting for an opportunity like this to prove how well they knew him? And should he be touched or freaked out?

…

...

Despite being unsure of the sender of his own gifts, Banryu knew who his receiver would be. He was expected to get something for Sooyeon, and he didn't want to be the kind of person who just gave money. She was Suho's sister. They were family rivals. Banryu was better than that.

But he still didn't know anything about her, and it wasn't likely that he would run into her at school. With only a week left until the gift exchange, his best bet was to have a conversation, not an argument but a real conversation, with Suho. Sure they had had them before, but if there was anyone else around then Suho would start posturing and being a bigger ass than he really was.

"Hey."

Suho kept eating his lunch, completely ignoring Banryu. Suho's friends looked up, but Banryu didn't care about them.

"I said hey."

"And I ignored you," Suho noted. "I thought it was clear I didn't want to talk." He stuffed another bite of food into his mouth and chewed, still not looking at Banryu.

Clenching his fists, Banryu took a deep breath. "I need to talk with you. Privately."

Maybe it was the tone of his voice, or the fact that Banryu had said 'privately,' but Suho lifted his head to look at Banryu with curiosity. He set his chopsticks down carefully on his plate and then, just as carefully, stood from his seat. Then he nodded his assent, so Banryu turned and led him away from the cafeteria.

He walked into the first empty classroom he found, shut the door to ensure privacy, and turned on Suho.

"Tell me about your sister."

Suho narrowed his eyes. "What did you say?"

"Tell me about your sister," Banryu repeated. "What does she like?" He crossed his arms. This felt more awkward than he'd expected. He couldn't tell Suho this was about the Secret Santa, so it was almost as if Banryu were asking because he liked Sooyeon.

It was clear that Suho got the same impression when his expression fell into a glare and he demanded, "Why do you want to know? Huh?"

"It doesn't matter. Just tell me. Anything will do," Banryu said.

That was the wrong thing to say. "Anything?" Suho repeated angrily. "Anything? So you think you can seduce my sister with just anything?"

Banryu balked. "I'm not trying to seduce your sister," he snapped back. The idea was ludicrous. Sure she was pretty, but Banryu literally knew nothing about her! She was Suho's little sister!

Suho jolted as if he'd been slapped and, for a moment, his eyes shone with hurt. Then the anger seeped back in, though not as fierce as before. What had that been?

"So, what, are you trying to tell me you actually like her? You, the aloof and serious Park Banryu, want to date my sister, the daughter of your father's biggest competitor?"

If Suho could just keep his mouth shut sometimes then it would be much easier to like him. He was handsome, athletic, charismatic, and loyal. But whenever he opened his mouth it was either to pick a fight or say something dumb, like he just had.

Uncrossing his arms, Banryu said, "I don't want-" but Suho talked over him.

"It'll never work out." Suho reached forward and grabbed Banryu by the collar of his shirt, pulling them almost chest to chest. "Even if you two were madly in love, our parents would never allow it!"

There he went looking hurt again. Banryu wasn't used to Suho looking at him like that. Sure, not all of their interactions were hostile, but most of them were. It was expected, given who they had as their parents. But this pain in Suho's eyes, this care he was showing for Banryu….the fact that he actually seemed like he would support Sooyeon and Banryu if only their parents weren't involved? It was unprecedented. Suho didn't approve of anyone dating his sister!

"Are you worried about me?" Banryu asked, his chest feeling suddenly full. It was a good feeling. He liked Suho caring about him.

Suho backed off, dropping Banryu's shirt like it was made of hot coals. He glanced away as he said, "No way." Then he met Banryu's eyes again. "I'm worried about my sister getting her heart broken by a jerk like you."

There wasn't enough fire in Suho's eyes for Banryu to believe him. Suho was worried about him, about Banryu's heart getting broken. After all these years dancing along the edges of each other's orbits, it seemed Suho had somehow come to care about Banryu's wellbeing.

"Suho-"

"Aisch," Suho let out like a curse, turning toward the door. "Forget it."

And before Banryu could say anything else, Suho was gone. Alone in the classroom, Banryu put a hand on his chest. Suho cared about him. They were rivals, in school and business and life in general, but Suho cared about him.

Banryu's heart was beating hard in his chest and he didn't know what to do about it.

…

…

Banryu felt too full, too charged, too trapped. He needed to move. So, after school, Banryu changed out of his uniform and into the spare clothes he kept in his bag and found an unused, empty classroom. The setting sun shone dimly through the blinds on the windows and the only sounds in the room were the ones made by Banryu's feet and Banryu's breath as he began…to dance.

He started by miming throwing something into the air, and then began motion after motion, jerky and almost mechanic, which them became flowing and sensual, one move blending into the next, and back to jerky again. Banryu didn't dare play any actual music, he didn't want to draw attention to himself, but the notes and beats and lyrics of the song played in his head as loudly as if there were a dozen speakers around the room.

My blood, sweat and tears
My last dance
Take it away

My blood, sweat and tears
My cold breath
Take it away

Banryu liked learning and imitating the moves of popular groups, girls and boys. The faster and more intense the moves, the more he liked them. Right now he was trying to wear himself out. Jumping, practically flying across the floor of the cleared out room, the muscles in his legs began to protest his third run through of the dance he'd chosen.

His mind was whirring. In the full body motion of dancing, he could think clearly.

Someone was sending him gifts that were tailored to him, to secrets he hadn't told to anyone. He felt watched, observed without permission, and it made his nerves stand on end. But it also made him feel cared for, that someone put enough thought into the gifts and enough time into learning Banryu to know what he actually liked and what he needed beyond the superficial.

His heart was pounding, and it had nothing to do with the dance moves.

He'd cornered Suho about his sister and instead learned that Suho cared about him. His skin tingled at the knowledge, his pulse raced. He didn't know what Suho meant by that care, what feelings were attached, but Suho did not see him as simply someone to beat in the future. Banryu wasn't just the son of Park Youngshil, not to Suho. Most of Banryu's friends couldn't claim the same.

What was Banryu meant to do with this knowledge? This knowledge that made him feel warm all over, from his toes to the tips of his fingers to every strand of his hair. This knowledge that changed everything between them. What was he supposed to do?

Kill me softly

Close my eyes with your touch

I can't even reject you anyway

I can't run away anymore

You're too sweet, too sweet

Because you're too sweet

Banryu dragged his hands up his body once more and lifted his arm up before his face in the final motion, ending the song in his head. His breaths were loud and panting in the silent room. His limbs shook, exhausted, and he knew he could not run through the dance a fourth time, even though he still had a lot to think about.

He dropped his arm and leaned over, his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. Drops of sweat beaded and dripped down his face. The longer he was still, the more he recognized the fatigue of his body. He would need to clean himself up before heading home.

Enthusiastic but quiet clapping broke the relative silence of the room and Banryu jumped up. There, standing by the classroom door, was Kim Sooyeon. Her hair, so like her brother's but longer, and her eyes which gleamed with the same mischievous sparkle as Suho's, were the first things he noticed. Then he narrowed his eyes, wondering why Suho's sister was there so suddenly, when Banryu wanted to be alone, when he was thinking about her brother.

"That was amazing." Clasping her hands together, Sooyeon said, "I'm sorry if you didn't want anyone to see. I was on my way out from my extra classes when I noticed movement in this room. I never would've expected to find you dancing like that." She tilted her head slightly to the side. "Was it from something or did you choreograph it yourself?"

With a heart still pounding from adrenaline, Banryu said, "Blood, Sweat, and Tears by BTS."

Sooyeon clapped her hands again, her eyes alight. "I love BTS!"

Banryu glanced toward the door behind her, unsure how to respond. A lot of people liked BTS.

"Maybe that's why you're better than my stupid brother," Sooyeon continued, drawing Banryu's attention back to her. "He's good with horses and swords, but dancing works your whole body. That's why he can't beat you at soccer," she said matter-of-factly. "You have more muscles all around."

"I guess," Banryu said.

Why was it so awkward to talk to Sooyeon? Suho and Banryu were abrasive to each other, but at least they weren't afraid to speak their minds.

Sooyeon was not having a problem speaking her mind. "Do you want to be in a music group, like BTS?"

"…No." He danced to relieve stress and because he liked how he could feel the music through his whole body, even when it was just in his head. He'd rather be a writer, honestly. He already was a writer.

"A dance troupe?" Banryu shook his head. "A choreographer? An actor?" Both got more shakes. Sooyeon frowned. "So what do you want to be?"

Banryu opened his mouth but no words came out. She was the daughter of his father's rival, but would it be wrong to admit he liked to write? Imagining telling someone made him feel uncomfortable, made worse by the drying sweat on his skin.

Sooyeon crossed her arms and pouted. "You don't make this easy, Mr. Park."

"What?" he asked.

"Getting to know you," she answered with a teasing smile.

Getting to know-That's right! Banryu needed to get to know Sooyeon better so he could buy her a gift. Now was the perfect time to gather information, when she had started the conversation and it had no bearing on the gift exchange.

"What do you like?" Banryu asked. Sooyeon gave him a curious look and Banryu cleared his throat, moving to grab his school bag just for something to do. "What do you want to do after school?"

"Oh." Sooyeon put a finger to her lips as she thought. "I think I'll work at my father's company, but I've always liked the idea of being an actor myself." She gave a bright smile. "And get married of course, but only if I can find a good man who isn't like my brother, and so far all men have been too like my brother."

Banryu frowned. An actor and marriage. Well, he supposed he could find something about that for a gift. "I like to write," he said, figuring it was a fair exchange now.

Armed with new information about Sooyeon, and desperate to avoid further conversation, Banryu headed for the door, but when he passed Sooyeon she grabbed his hand and stopped him. He looked at her in surprise and she gazed back with something like hope in her eyes.

"Park Banryu," she said. "I'm glad for everything you've done for my brother. He's still an idiot, but he's been less so the more you're around."

She gave his hand a squeeze and then, with a wink, she ambled away.

…

…

The third gift Banryu received was a pair of tickets to a BTS concert taking place in two months.

Was Sooyeon his Secret Santa? was his first thought, sitting on his bed that afternoon, the freshly opened envelope still in hands.

His second thought was about how he had now received two pairs of tickets, as if whomever was sending him these gifts thought he had someone to go with.

His third thought was, I wonder if Suho likes BTS…

The answer, of course, was that Suho probably loved BTS. Everyone loved BTS at the moment, even Americans. The real question was: Did Suho like Banryu enough to stand going to a concert with him?

The actual question was: Would Banryu ever get up the courage to even ask? And what did it mean that he was the first person Banryu thought of?

A knock on the door was the only, momentary warning Banryu got before his father burst into his room. He hurriedly shoved the tickets into the space between the mattress and the headboard as he stood up to greet the older man.

"Father," he said with a bow.

Park Youngshil was an older gentleman that still maintained a powerful presence. It wasn't even his voice that caused men to quake before him, since his voice was actually losing strength in his old age. His prestige, his previous successes, and his mere aura were what made both men and women bow their heads and accept what he said without question.

"So," his father began, as calm as a breezy summer day. "I hear you faced the young Kim heir in soccer recently. And lost."

Banryu did not flinch. He did not say a word. He simply lifted his eyes to his father's face. It was answer enough.

Youngshil clicked his tongue in disappointment. "I have never forced you to join a team nor to improve your athletic skill, as I don't see either as useful to your future career as my heir, but you have never lost a soccer match before. I wonder what is it that caused you to shame yourself that way?"

"It won't happen again," Banryu told him, lowering his gaze, though only to Youngshil's chest rather than the floor.

Instead of answering, Youngshil began wandering around the room, lightly running his fingers over Banryu's shelves – full of awards and medals, his desk – his homework lying there waiting to be completed, his dresser, and his bed. He idly examined every knickknack and collected item in the room, from Banryu's CDs and computer to the photos of his parents hanging on the wall. Every time he neared the headboard, Banryu's pulse jumped and he gripped his hands tighter into fists. That slim space was not only where he'd stashed the tickets, but also where he hid the USB that held his writings.

Finally, Youngshil stopped by the pile of things Banryu had brought home from school – his coat, scarf, and school bag – all set neatly on a chair. He lifted the scarf, blue and slightly worn, from the pile and waved it slightly in the air as if Banryu wouldn't know what he was holding otherwise.

"I suppose you won't be needing this anymore."

Banryu jolted, he couldn't help it. "But that's-"

Youngshil shook his head. "If you really want it back, you'll need to prove you deserve it."

That scarf was the last thing Banryu's real father had ever bought for him. He'd worn it every winter since before his parent's had died. Banryu felt powerless as he watched Youngshil leave the room, the scarf still held in his grubby, worthless hands. Only once the door was shut once more did Banryu let himself unclench his fists and feel the pain of the crescent marks his nails had left in his skin.

One day. One day, he would make Park Youngshil pay. That man was no father, and had no right to run a business or enjoy any of the luxuries his wealth afforded him.

One day.

…

…

The next day there was a brand new notebook with a fine, soft leather binding and cream colored pages, sitting on his desk. Banryu gingerly flipped through the pages but found no messages left by the sender of these gifts.

By the window, Hansung sat in his chair doodling in a notebook. Was it possible that Hansung had given him the notebook?

Banryu let his own book fall shut and meandered over to see what the younger male was drawing. What Hansung had on his desk turned out not to be a notebook at all, but a sketchbook, the paper clear of any lines or marks that would disrupt the art.

Hansung's sketch was pretty good and it was obvious he had practiced a lot. There was something very familiar in the style…Banryu's eyes shifted from the scenery Hansung was drawing on one page to look at the portrait he'd done on the other page.

The man in the picture wasn't Korean, but he was as familiar to Banryu as the style of art itself. And suddenly he knew who it was. Vincent Van Gogh, and the style of Hansung's art looked like a Van Gogh painting. That was incredibly impressive, especially considering he was using only pencils and pens and wasn't directly copying any Van Gogh work Banryu knew of.

A moment later, Hansung seemed suddenly aware that someone was standing by him. He looked up with a smile, but it dropped as soon as he saw Banryu standing there. Without a word, he let out a dismissive sniff and closed his sketchbook with a snap. Then his eyes traveled past Banryu and a beaming smile broke across his face.

Hansung shoved himself up from his desk and, taking his sketchbook with him, rushed to the door. "Sunwoo! Sunwoo-ah!"

Two boys who had been walking past the door paused and looked in. One was undeniably beautiful with soft features and pointed ears while the other looked more rugged and with stronger features but kind eyes. They were the two students who had assisted Suho in the soccer game recently: Kim Jidwi and Kim Sunwoo, no relation.

"Look what I drew yesterday!" Hansung said happily, flipping the sketchbook open to show Sunwoo a page.

Banryu couldn't see it, but he knew what it was because Sunwoo began to blush and Jidwi laughed. "It's a portrait of you," Jidwi said with mirth. Leaning closer, he added, "A rather accurate likeness, don't you think?"

Face turning even redder still, Sunwoo coughed and kept walking, throwing a quick, "It's really nice," over his shoulder.

Jidwi shook his head, arms crossed, and followed after. Hansung happily trailed behind.

Banryu's Secret Santa was definitely not Suk Hansung. He'd forgotten that Hansung didn't like him. Suk Dansae didn't like Banryu either, but it was more of an indifference. In response to his brother's feelings, however, Hansung detested Banryu and refused to even speak with him, as if that were a way to take his brother's side in some fight they weren't having.

If Hansung wasn't his Santa, the sender of these gifts, then Banryu was back to square one. But the addition of a notebook to the lineup meant that the sender must know Banryu liked to write.

Maybe the sender did know that Banryu had written that poem from before.

Or, he thought again, maybe Kim Sooyeon really was the sender. His last two gifts were both related to things he'd said to Sooyeon in that empty classroom. Had he and Sooyeon somehow managed to pull each other's names?

"Shin," Banryu called, catching his friend's attention. "Did a girl from another class come in this morning?"

Shin thought about it for a moment, started to shake his head, paused, then really shook his head. "No, not that actually entered the room. A few came by to see if you and Suho had shown up yet. They dragged Suho out for something, probably a confession or whatever, but none of them actually came in."

Speaking of Suho, the other boy chose that moment to re-enter the room. He and Banryu met gazes. Suho frowned, squared his shoulders, and walked purposefully past Banryu to his own seat without saying a word. Once seated, he didn't even glance at Banryu.

The BTS tickets were in Banryu's pocket. If Sooyeon was his Secret Santa, well, she'd said Suho was better with Banryu around, right? And Suho cared about Banryu's wellbeing at least, right? So if Banryu asked, right now, if Suho wanted to go with him…

By the time class started, all Banryu had managed to do was put the notebook away in his school bag. The tickets hadn't moved. The words hadn't been spoken. Banryu and Suho still weren't friends, or anything more.

…

…

That afternoon saw Banryu at a book store. Sooyeon had said she liked the idea of acting, but as far as Banryu knew she'd never actually taken any classes or anything. If she was the one sending him all of these gifts, then she deserved something great in return, but Banryu had no connections in the world of acting and knew nothing about how to break into the scene. So he'd decided to get her books on acting – how to act and how to become successful in the field and whatever else he could find.

Almost as soon as Banryu had entered the shop he caught sight of a familiar face. Suho was standing in the row of shelves two from the door, his face just visible over the tops of the books. Banryu immediately walked over.

"Kim Suho," he greeted.

Suho jumped, like a child caught stealing sweets before dinner. "Yah!" he whisper yelled. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

Banryu lifted an eyebrow. "Buying books. What do you go to book stores for?"

Frowning, Suho shoved Banryu, just enough to make him stumble a step back. Then he did it again, and again, and again, as he kept talking. "Of course the same thing, you jerk. Do you think I'm an idiot? I'm passing all of my classes, I'll have you know. Just because I'm not in the top three on every test doesn't mean I can't read."

They had moved several shelves over and into another aisle by now. Banryu finally grabbed Suho by the wrists when he made to give another push. "Why do you always overreact?" Banryu demanded in that same whisper yell as Suho. "You're the one who asked a stupid question."

"I was surprised by you suddenly appearing like that! A stupid question is allowed," Suho shot back, though Banryu noted that all signs of physical aggression had left him, abruptly, as if they had never been there. Even his wrists were limp in Banryu's hands now.

With the anger suddenly gone, Banryu became increasingly aware of the physical contact between them. They had gotten into physical fights before, so touching wasn't completely out of line for them, but usually they were pulled apart by their friends or school faculty and were still bristling like spitting cats. The touch now was simply that: touch. Suho's skin felt warm beneath Banryu's hands, and unexpectedly soft. Suho's cheeks were slowly turning pink and Banryu wondered if it was lingering irritation or something else that caused it…something like the care Suho had shown before.

"I'm buying a gift for the Secret Santa Gift Exchange," Banryu admitted in a rush. "What about you?"

The muscles and tendons shifted under Banryu's fingers as Suho tensed. Looking Banryu directly in the face, Suho said, "The same." Then he shook Banryu's hands off. "Aisch, let me go. This is embarrassing." And his face was definitely pink now.

The BTS tickets were still in Banryu's pocket. "Suho."

"I'll see you at school tomorrow," Suho interrupted, and then turned and fled the store without buying anything.

That had been the perfect opportunity to ask – away from anyone else they knew, when they weren't angry or trying to be their father's sons, with a softer atmosphere – and somehow Banryu had missed it. He clenched his hands and cursed. Then he turned on his heel and went looking for books on acting. Suho's sister still needed her holiday gift, after all, even if Banryu never asked her brother to the concert.

…

…

Two days later saw a book of poetry slipped into Banryu's locker. And the day after that he found his favorite snack foods, the kind he snuck into parties and boring school lunches, in a decorative bag in his locker as well.

Banryu was glad that the final gift exchange was in two days. He really needed to tell Sooyeon that she had gotten him way too many gifts. The Secret Santa Gift Exchange was meant to be one, maybe two gifts, not six or seven gifts costing tens of thousands of won.

He also really wanted to know how she was getting into his locker every morning, and how she knew so much about him when he knew next to nothing about her.

…

…

The day before the Gift Exchange, Banryu found a blue scarf in his locker. It was a woolen, seemingly handmade, knit scarf. For an instant, Banryu thought it was the one his adoptive father had taken from him, but a moment later knew it wasn't. This scarf had clearly never been worn before, and the shade of blue was wrong.

There was a note lying in the folds of the scarf and Banryu only glanced around the room briefly, noting Suho napping on his desk before classes started and the general disinterest of his classmates, before opening it.

A gift to replace your other scarf, which seems to have gone missing somehow. It's not from a father, but it's very soft and warm. It'll do its job well.

This note had not been written by Sooyeon. The handwriting was far too masculine. But that wasn't why Banryu was having trouble breathing.

How had anyone known his father bought him that scarf? How did anyone know this much about him? Who was sending these gifts? Who was his Secret Santa?!

…

…

At the end of school the next day, the students were gathered in the auditorium in order to exchange their gifts and reveal themselves as Secret Santas. Banryu found Sooyeon immediately, her brightly colored hair pin catching the light and shining like a beacon. In her hands she held a small parcel and her eyes were drifting over the crowd, clearly looking for the gift's owner.

She smiled when she saw him draw near. "Good afternoon, Banryu."

Banryu gave a slight bow. "Good afternoon." He hesitated for a moment, suddenly unsure if the books on acting would be accepted or if she would be insulted by them. Maybe he should've just given her money.

Sooyeon motioned toward the gift bag in his hands. "Is that from your Secret Santa or for someone?"

Banryu glanced down at the bag as if he'd forgotten it was there. He was being silly, he knew. The books were bought and there was no time to change his mind now. So he held the bag out to Sooyeon and said, his cheeks feeling hot, "Merry Christmas, Kim Sooyeon."

Her eyes widened in surprise, but she gave a beaming smile as she accepted the gift from him. "Do you want me to open it?"

Banryu's own eyes widened, but in mild panic. "No."

Sooyeon gave an endearing laugh. "Alright then. I'll wait." She bowed. "Thank you very much!"

Giving a bow of his own in return, he said, "Have a good Christmas."

Now he only had to wait for his own Secret Santa to find him and reveal himself.

It took ten minutes of Banryu standing in the same spot for anyone to approach him with more than a quick, "Have a good Christmas!" Then, just as he was considering moving, a white envelope was held out in front of his face.

Turning his head even as he accepted the envelope of holiday money, Banryu saw the ever beautiful, ever self-absorbed Kim Yeo Wool. He frowned.

"I put a lot in there. More than anyone would expect," Yeo Wool said in that unaffected way he had of speaking, as if everything happening were beneath his notice. "You should feel flattered."

Banryu just stared at the envelope. How was this his final gift? And how was it possible that Yeo Wool was his secret gift giver this whole time? It didn't seem possible for Yeo Wool to care that much about anyone, let alone Banryu.

"What?" Yeo Wool asked. "Are you in shock? Or do you think money a pointless gift between people like us, with more money than we need?"

Shaking his head, Banryu said, "I'm a bit disappointed. The other gifts were so…tailored to me and this is…so impersonal," trying to be as tactful as possible. Being rude about a gift was a reprehensible offense.

Tilting his head in confusion, Yeo Wool said, "Other gifts?" And then he grinned. "Have you been receiving many gifts and thinking they were from me? How wonderful."

So…Yeo Wool wasn't his gift giver? Those gifts weren't part of this Secret Santa Gift Exchange? But then who was taking the time to give him things? To understand Banryu more than his friends did?

Just as Yeo Wool went to walk away, Banryu remember that Yeo Wool was also known as the king of gossip. If anything of note was happening in Hwarang Academy, he knew about it.

"Wait."

Yeo Wool turned back to him with interest. "Yes?"

"Who has been leaving me gifts?" Banryu asked, just short of a demand.

Hiding his mouth behind his hand briefly, Yeo Wool grinned again. "What makes you think I know?"

"Let's not pretend you don't," Banryu said. "No doubt you've known I was getting gifts since the first day, and you've been paying enough attention to know who it is by now."

Yeo Wool hummed. "Why would I pay that close attention? We're not even friends," he said. "If anyone was going to give you that much attention, it would be Kim Suho, wouldn't it? Ask him."

The mention of Suho made Banryu pause. "Suho?"

A nod. "We've all three gone to the same schools all our lives, and yet you two rarely notice I even exist. A shame really," he said with false sorrow. "No, you two have only had eyes for each other. There have even been times when the two of you were closer to each other, for one reason or another, than most actual friends. It probably comes from your father's always pitting you against each other," he noted, lowering his voice and leaning in as if delivering hot secrets. "In fact, if you weren't fighting all the time, I'd say you two were as close as brothers, maybe more so."

Yeo Wool was right. Whenever Banryu entered a room, his eyes always immediately found Suho, and the same was true in reverse. If anyone had been paying close enough attention to notice who was sending Banryu gifts, it was Suho.

If anyone was paying close enough attention….

Suho was at every party that Banryu left to go stargazing. He'd even gotten into a fight with an older man who'd propositioned Banryu at one recently.

Suho's sister had come to see him when he was dancing alone and the things they'd talked about had turned into gifts in the next few days. It was possible she had been sent by her brother, or that she had simply reported what Banryu said back to him.

Suho had seen the way Youngshil treated Banryu over the years. Of course he had. His adoptive father wasn't exactly subtle about his disappointment in everything Banryu failed at.

Suho had commented on Banryu's party snacks, multiple times, even once offering to pay him a share of his father's company for some when the party food had been really bad once.

Suho had been in the poetry section of the book store when Banryu had startled him.

Suho would know the scarf was from Banryu's father because he had been around Banryu, talked to Banryu, known Banryu, had been watching Banryu as much as Banryu had been around, talked to, known, and watched Suho.

Suho was the one sending him gifts.

"If you'll excuse me," Banryu said with a hasty bow.

Yeo Wool was still grinning, self satisfied. "Of course."

…

…

After five minutes of searching the now slowly emptying auditorium, Banryu moved outside to look for Suho. He wasn't on the field, though all of his friends were somewhere about.

Approaching Dansae, who was standing with his little brother and Sunwoo, Banryu asked, "Where's Suho?"

All three men looked at him. Only Hansung really frowned at him. Sunwoo and Dansae had more thoughtful expressions on their faces. In fact, though he'd intended the question for Dansae, it was Sunwoo who answered. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

"He went down the street that way," he said. "You should be able to catch up to him."

Nodding his thanks, Banryu hurried off at a brisk walk. As soon as he'd turned the corner and the school was out of sight, he broke into a run. Every time he passed a connecting road, Banryu paused to consider if Suho would've turned off there, but the main road lead toward Suho's home, and Banryu's, and it wasn't likely Suho would take a strange detour.

Finally, he caught sight of Suho himself. A group of middle school girls was gathered around him, giggling and taking pictures on their phones. Banryu slowed to a walk, allowing himself to catch his breath as he approached.

"Oh wow, he's super hot too!" one of the girls cheered when she spotted him.

The others gasped. "Do you two go to the same school?" another asked, already holding her phone up to snap Banryu's picture too. "Lucky!"

Suho's friendly smile was frozen on his face, even as he watched Banryu close the distance between them. Once Banryu had joined the group, he gave a pleasant smile and a small bow to the girls.

"Good afternoon, ladies." They squealed. "If you'll excuse us, I need to speak with my classmate privately."

He'd intended only to sound important and maybe a bit powerful, like Youngshil did at public gatherings, but something about what he said made the girls fall into hysterics. They started bowing quickly and repeatedly, apologizing and giggling and whispering excitedly to each other all at the same time. Then they hurried away, still bowing, apologizing, and giggling, with their phones up facing the boys for as long as they could. Banryu distinctly heard the word 'privately' being repeated over and over as they went.

Middle school girls were weird, he decided.

Suho let out a 'tt' sound as soon as they were alone. Crossing his arms, he said, "Getting in the way of me and women already? We haven't even graduated yet."

Banryu didn't dignify that with an answer. Instead he said, "Thank you."

That threw Suho visibly off balance. His crossed arms dropped, just like his jaw. "W-what? What for?"

"The tickets. The poetry. The journal," Banryu said. "The scarf."

It had looked like Suho was gearing up to interrupt and deny what Banryu was saying, but his mouth snapped shut at the mention of the scarf and Banryu knew he was right. Suho had been his secret gift giver.

"Why did you give me those things?" Banryu asked.

For several moments, Suho just stared at him. He looked, for the first time Banryu could remember, frightened. His face wasn't pale, he wasn't shaking, but the look in his eyes was terrified. So Banryu decided to take mercy on him and spoke first.

"I wanted to invite you," he said. Some of the fear on Suho's face was replaced with confusion. "When you gave me the concert tickets, you were the first person I thought of. I wanted to invite you."

Suho let out a disbelieving scoff. "Why would you do that? You have actual friends. You don't take a business rival to a concert."

"You're not a business rival," Banryu snapped, cutting Suho off and even making Suho instinctively stand up straighter. "I know you don't think of me that way. That's not how I think of you either."

Reaching into his pocket, Banryu pulled out the BTS concert tickets he'd kept there for days now. He held them up between Suho and himself. They were slightly wrinkled from their time in his clothes, but mostly intact.

"None of my friends know me half as well as you," Banryu said, looking at the tickets rather than Suho. "And they aren't who I think about all day." His face felt like it was on fire but he took a deep breath and continued. "Do you want to go stargazing with me? Do you want to go to this concert with me?"

For a long while, there was no response. With his eyes down, Banryu couldn't see Suho's face, so he didn't know how the other man was reacting or not reacting. He couldn't tell if Suho was angry, disgusted, happy, or uncertain. The only thing he knew, and which gave him some confidence, was that Suho hadn't walked away.

"Yah," Suho said, almost conversationally. He cleared his throat. "Yah! Don't you know it's bad manners to ask a guy out on a date without even looking him in the eyes?" he asked in his usual brash tone.

Banryu lifted his gaze from the tickets to find Suho's face aflame with an embarrassed flush. "Date?"

Suho jabbed a finger at him with a frown, though he was still blushing. "Oh, I see. You're the type of guy who leads people on, huh? What kind of man is that? Take responsibility!"

That startled a single laugh out of Banryu. "Responsibility? What, are you pregnant?"

Suho blanched. "This person-!" he said, turning his head as if talking to someone else with them. "Just ask me out properly, you jerk!"

Suho wanted to date him. That's what kind of care he had for Banryu. Suho liked him. Banryu's chest felt warm and he began to smile, but then he remembered what Suho had said in that classroom last week and he frowned, lowering his hand and the tickets.

"What about our parents?"

"Well," Suho began, idly scratching his cheek. "My father has more of an issue with your father's business practices than anything else, I think. So I'm pretty sure I could talk him into accepting it."

Shaking his head, Banryu said, "My father won't accept it. He just won't."

The look on Suho's face was sour, like he'd just smelled something nasty. "Yeah, I've got some problems with him too. I mean, what kind father thinks it's okay to let older men fondle their son?!"

So he had started that fight on purpose. Banryu's heart sped up in his chest. He felt fluttery inside. "No actual fondling happened."

Suho narrowed his eyes at Banryu. "He grabbed your butt, Park. Even Sooyeon was appalled." He shook his head. "As soon as I turn nineteen, I'm gonna use every ounce of power in my father's company to take Park Youngshil down. I can't believe the things he gets away with."

That caused Banryu to smile. "Me too," he admitted. "But I don't know that I'll be strong enough. I won't have a company to back me up."

Grinning, Suho crossed his arms over his chest. "Ask Jidwi and Sunwoo." Banryu lifted a curious eyebrow. "I just found out myself, but they're heirs to Capital Inc and Makmung Industries, respectively."

Two of the most prominent and influential companies in South Korea! How did they keep that secret? False names for one, obviously, but neither of them gave off an air of superiority or bragged about their money either. Amazing!

"They'll inherit their companies as soon as they turn nineteen too, not just work at them like you or I, and I know for a fact that they both hate your dad as much as I do," Suho continued. "With the four of us combined, Park Youngshil doesn't stand a chance."

Absolutely unbelievable. Banryu had gone from having a pipe dream of taking down his adoptive father to being presented with more support and more resources to actually bring about his downfall than he had ever imagined. Today was a good day that just kept getting better.

"But hey, that's hardly the point!" Suho said, shaking his head and placing his hands on his hips. "You still haven't even properly asked me out! Focus on that first!"

Oh, right. Banryu held the tickets out again. Now, full of more hope for the future than ever, and confidence in Suho's feelings, Banryu had no problem meeting Suho's eyes as he asked, "Will you go to this concert with me? As a date?"

Suho pretended to consider it. "Hm. I don't have any other plans, so I suppose I could."

"Aisch," Banryu let out quietly. "This jerk." But he was smiling, just like Suho was smiling when he accepted one of the tickets. "It's hard to believe I like you."

"Hey, I'm the charismatic one," Suho contended. "Everyone likes me." He waved the ticket around in the air. "You're the quiet, mysterious one. If anything, it's hard to believe I like you." Then he winked. "I do like you, though. Very much."

Again Banryu's face felt like a fire. How could Suho just say things like that so casually?

Suho put the ticket away in his bag as he said, "But aahhhh, we're not going to be able to let people know we like each other until after we're adults and can take care of your father."

Snorting, Banryu said, "That won't be a problem. I bet we starting arguing again tomorrow."

That made Suho burst out with a laugh. "At least you'll never find me boring, huh?"

No, there was no chance of that. Suho was anything but boring. And now, for the foreseeable future at least, Banryu had Suho all to himself. It was a very good feeling.

"Merry Christmas, Suho."

Suho grinned. "Merry Christmas, Banryu."

…

…

fin