I must admit
I am obsessed
I saw you smile once
Your friends made a joke so you laughed
You turned your head as I turned mine
Our eyes locked, I looked away first
But I still saw you out of the corner of my eye
You looked so carefree.... so gorgeous
I attempted to burn the image into my memory
But I couldn't
You never knew how much it meant to me
Your eyes are so captivating
My friend made a remark
You laughed at her
And in the end I decided that it was her fault
Her remark just asked for someone to make fun of it
That's when I realized that I would justify anything
Just so that I would be on your side
Just so that your eyes will look at me.
It was time for presentations.
People rolled their eyes when it was your turn
But I turned around and paid attention
Did you notice? I doubt...
Then it was my turn.
I couldn't look at you constantly.
It would have betrayed my feelings
I didn't want you to know yet
But I saw how you were always looking at me
You gave me the confidence to continue.
My friends couldn't do that.
I don't wear skirts to class. Ever.
But I did once. You didn't expect it I suppose
But it was a short black mini skirt.
You sat in front of me.
I saw.
Your eyes were always looking at my legs.
And when I stood up
Your eyes trailed my footsteps.
No one's ever done that before.
Everything reminds me of you.
Well… not everything.
But somehow my mind thinks of you
When I'm not careful.
I think of something you said
And I start smiling.
I get strange looks when I do.
You touched my friend.
Just to take the computer mouse from her hand
But you stayed behind her
Your arms bracing the table. Caging her in.
She laughed. You smiled.
That's when I decided that I hated her.
I hate her so much because of you.
I try explaining what I feel for you
And I realize it's a silly obsession
I'm ashamed that I'm still like this
But I can't make myself leave your memory
You have me chained to you
And you don't even know it.
You always haunt my dreams
Taunting me when I wake up
I cried once
Because the dream was so beautiful
And you were so sweet and caring
And you loved me.
This is what you do to me.
I had a crush on a guy.
He wasn't you.
When he told me he thought I was pretty...
I wished that you said it instead.
I saw you at the game
I know you saw me. Our eyes locked.
You stopped walking. You were wearing that hat again...
You didn't smile at me. But that's okay.
I didn't smile either. I didn't show any signs of recognition.
Did I turn away first? I can't remember.
But it was good to see you.
There is a boy who looks like you.
But he's shorter than you are. His hair is lighter than yours is.
His eyes aren't as cold. Or warm.
He lacks confidence and his laugh isn't warm. Or cold.
Whenever I see him it hurts me.
Because I wish that it were you looking back at me.
There are lots of guys I used to like
Before and during my obsession.
Parts of them I hated
Because they weren't like you
And when I decided to end it
I always turned back to you
Because in my mind...
You're flawless.
---End---