Disclaimer: Batman does not belong to me. I make no profit from this. Batman created by Bob Kane with Bill Finger.
Author's Note: So, thanks to a certain company whose name rhymes with "carvel," I've been thinking more about certain characters in relation to their canon Jewish identity, which led to me thinking of Kate Kane, which led to an attachment to a headcanon of Jewish Bruce Wayne. I'm not Jewish myself, but I've done some research and had this looked over by someone who is (thank you again!). Any mistakes/inaccuracies/misspellings are totally on me.
Tim is, without a doubt, the most dedicated member of the family, throwing his very being into whatever task it is he seeks to accomplish. And he never trusts himself to complete it until he's confident it will be perfect. And it is this attitude which throws Bruce for a loop one Friday afternoon as he and Cass teach Helena pattycake.
"Bruce, you're making the challah today."
Bruce looks up at Tim from his spot on the carpet, missing a beat and making Helena pout.
"What?" Bruce asks, letting Helena grab his hands and move them back forth on her own.
"Challah. You. Make. Today."
"Yes, yes, I heard you, but why? I thought you were going to do it? Isn't that why I've been paying for baking classes for the last few weeks?"
"I can't just jump into the kitchen all willy-nilly. I might as well get store-bought challah."
"Tim, there's nothing wrong with-"
"Don't."
By this point, Helena has carried on the game with Cass. Whether Cass has somehow taught Helena to ignore what's going on or Helena is just that intuitive a child, Bruce doesn't know, he's grateful either way.
"Tim, if you with your three weeks of training can't make it, what makes you think I can?"
And Tim is suddenly silent and shifting, a much quieter shadow of the confident young who had burst into the living room previously. He rubs one elbow and looks at the ground. He is no longer leading this conversation.
"Tim? Is something wrong?"
"...Alfred told me you used to make challah. With your parents."
Tim says nothing more. He leaves. Bruce is left with the sound of giggling girls and his own heartbeat.
"Kate-"
"Bruce, it's not a big deal."
"Kate-"
"I can send you the recipe right now."
"Kate-"
"Bruce. Make the damn challah or so help me I will come over there myself and-"
"Kaaaaaaaaate-"
"Don't whine."
"Kate, I can't-"
"You can."
"I can't-"
"You can."
Bruce stands in front of the counter, apron in hand, staring at all the ingredients as if they're going to assemble themselves.
Kate emailed him the recipe she uses an hour ago, but he ignores it. Instead, he goes to the shelf that holds all of Alfred's cookbooks and picks the one that belonged to his mother. She didn't need it, but she always kept it around for Bruce to use when he grew older.
At some point, Helena wanders into the kitchen and stands next to Bruce. He's taken back, to when he was a child on the tips of his toes, watching his mother knead dough with skilled hands. His father would be off to the side, muttering about obnoxious patients while listening to Lucius mutter about obnoxious coworkers on the phone.
"Why are you braiding the bread?" Helena asks, the curious inflection of a child strong in her voice.
"Because..."
Bruce stops kneading.
"Helena, would you pass Daddy's phone?"
"Bruce, why are you calling me again?"
"Helena's asking me why we braid challah."
"Okay..."
"Kate, I don't know."
"...Dammit, Bruce, don't you know how to use the internet-"
"Kate-"
"Shut up."
"Kate-"
"Bruce-"
"Kate Kane doesn't know why challah is braided. Kate Kane doesn't-"
"I'm not sure, there's a difference-"
"Kate Kane," Bruce is laughing now, "has to use the internet-"
"Stop. Talking."
"It looks awful," Bruce mutters under his breath.
"It looks like my hair when you braid it," Helena says.
(There are few things Bruce Wayne will brag about when it comes to his parenting skills, but his ability to style Helena's hair to near-perfection is one of them. He is like Tim in that respect; if he's going to do something, he's going to do it well.)
Bruce isn't going to cry.
Tim is lured to the kitchen by the smell of bread and finds Bruce reading a book at the dining table.
"Uh, Bruce? How'd the challah work out?" Tim asks skeptically.
"Great. I think I'm going to do it next week, too," Bruce responds, flipping a page of his book nonchalantly.
"Wait, what? I was going to make the challah next week!"
"Yeah. You were going to do it this week, too."
As Tim exits the kitchen in horror, he hears Bruce murmur, "Maybe now, I can invite Kate over for Sabbath dinner instead of the other way around..."