Starflight's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse.

By Starflight. Transcribed by Fatespeaker.

Hello anybody who is reading this. You are probably reading this because of a big event has happened. Such as a comet smashing into Pyrrhia, or Darkstalker rising. Although I am freaking out because a dragon the size of a mountain just came out of the ground! (It was at this moment Starflight began to stumble around in a panic.)

Part One: Reacting.

OK. So things are looking pretty bad right now. Remember to stay calm. Nothing kills more than panic. Can't stay calm?

DO take a nice herbal bath.

DON'T smoke some nice herbal weed.

DO take deep breaths.

DON'T breathe too hard and light your friend on fire.

DO have a positive outlook.

DON'T play with positive and negative electricity.

Part Two: Survival.

If one fine day you're sipping tea outside, and you see:

A large fireball beaming towards Pyrrhia.

A large dragon rise out of a mountain.

Ghosts.

The Scavenger Uprising.

Clowns.

Take immediate action. Remember, you can't call 911 these days. Locate essentials, like food and water. Get weapons, and find other dragons. Strength in numbers. Once with other dragons, attempt to find good apocalypse shelter. Avoid burning fires, falling rocks, smoke and rabid fangirls. Always prepare for the worst.

Part Three: Other Dragons.

Other dragons can be the single biggest threat during an apocalypse. Unless they're nice dragons. Some dragons could be following Darkstalker, or try to use the chaos to seize the throne of a kingdom. Some may become looters, or kill your group for supplies. Heck, the war could restart! If you encounter any of these dragons, do like Clay says and get the McShizzle Frizzle out of there! Tsunami would tell you to stick… never mind. I want to keep this guide PG. If you happen to meet a looter or a Darkstalker follower, in normal cases I would say hiding is the best option. And it still is! Do what I do and grab my girlfriend Fatespeaker and hide under the librarian's counter and wait out the apocalypse… Just the two of us… Alone… While the world burns… Staring into each other's eyes… Holding each other's talons… Staring into each other's eyes… Fatespeaker, what are you writing? I'm not even talking. Anyway, fight as a last resort, you need all the dragons you can get in an apocalypse.

In conclusion, the apocalypse is very dangerous. Surviving can be difficult in these harsh times. Remember to place bets on people's survival. You can win it big before you perish. Always keep this term in your head. "If things look bad, they probably are. So get the **** out of there.

About the Author and Transcriber.

Starflight of the Nightwings is currently trying to figure out why a giant dragon just burst out of a mountain, and simultaneously attempting to open a cup of pears without it sending juice everywhere. He is currently is the librarian at Jade Mountain Academy, but may be looking for a new job if Jade Mountain gets crushed. His girlfriend, Fatespeaker, wrote this as Starflight is blind. She may also need a new job if Jade Mountain gets crushed. Speaking of which, I was just looking through the classifieds, and I oprigy8h4ntvg4384t414389y….23h