"Quinnie, where are you going?" Judy Fabray called her daughter, who said nothing back, the door slamming back in her face. She worried so much about her youngest daughter, she was fragile. She wasn't the naïve child she was when she left the Fabray's. She grew up in a matter of months, she had to. She thought she was OK, she seemed to have her life back. That's what Judy saw. She saw what Quinn wanted to see. She knew she wasn't OK. That nice music teacher phoned her one Wednesday night, after coming back from New York to ask if Quinn was ok. Apparently she seemed really out of it. Judy replied honestly she didn't know what was going hon with her daughter.
It was the 2nd week of the holiday that Quinn got a nose ring. Judy didn't want to say anything to her daughter, she didn't want to fracture the already fragile relationship she had with her youngest. Quinn told her that Brittney and Santana also had one, deeming it to be 'cool'. Judy just nodded, not believing anything her daughter just said. She knew that Santana didn't, she had come round that day and asked if Quinn was home, she had no nose ring. Santana also provided Judy with a little gem of information, that Quinn wasn't where she said she was. She told Judy she was hanging out with Santana and Britt, obviously she was lying.
Quinn cut her off from most of the world. She used to be someone who liked her sleep, she would sleep until late in the afternoon, if Judy would let her. Suddenly, she became a morning person, she was up and out before Judy had breakfast, at 8AM. She would come home late at night, if at all. Judy was running out of ideas, she didn't know what was happening to her baby. It was in the third week she called Fran. Fran and Quinn had never been close, but she was running out of ideas quickly. She asked her to come to Ohio, she agreed. She came down on the Tuesday until the Sunday. Quinn turned up on the Thursday, her and Fran got into an argument. Quinn didn't come home until the Monday. Fran told Judy she honestly didn't know what to do with Quinn.
It was the following week that she managed to get hold of Shelby Corcoran, she spent hours looking at ways to get in contact with her. Eventually she built up enough courage to ask for what she wanted, a picture of Beth. Shelby willingly agreed. They got into a discussion about giving up a baby and what it did to her. She told Judy she was willing to send pictures to her, if she wanted to show Quinn, she could. It was the Wednesday that Quinn came home. She looked thin, or so Judy thought. Before the whole baby drama, Quinn was pretty. She was thin, but not too thin. She came home in some old tatty shirt. She looked ill, she was more than just thin. She looked sick. The outfit was a drastic change from her usual dresses and skirts. She tried to get Quinn to sit down, and she did. When she showed Quinn a picture of Beth, she left again. She told Judy that she didn't want to see her, that she didn't care about her. She wouldn't use her name, referring to Beth as 'she' and 'it'. Judy knew Quinn was hurting, that she was desperate to see Beth, but she didn't want to let her guard down. Regardless of Quinn's wants, Judy printed the pictures Shelby sent. Beth was, weather Quinn liked it or bit, part of their family. She may not be present, but like Fran, she was an important member of the family. She framed them and put them in her bedroom, next to Quinn and Fran's baby photos. If Quinn wanted to see them, she just had to ask. When Quinn grew up a bit, and had thought about it more, she would want to see her. Judy knew that.
That baby she gave to Shelby on the night of June 8th 2010, was all grown up. Beth was all grown up. She was walking and talking, Shelby sent her a video of her waving and saying hello to Quinn. Quinn refused to look at her, she couldn't show her a video of her, as much as she wanted to. From the video, Judy could see that she was Quinn's doppelgänger. Everything but her smile was Quinn's.
It was the Friday that Quinn came back. She was wearing a short crop top, short shorts and sunglasses. It wasn't the outfit that shocked Judy, it was what the outfit broadcasted.
"Quinnie, have you got a tattoo?" She said hesitantly, at her just 17-year-old daughter. She smirks, chewing on gum.
"Yeah. It's of Ryan Seacrest. It's hot, right?" Judy just stares at her daughter's tramp stamp.
"You do realise it's going to be there forever?" Quinn nods, obviously smitten with her new 'stamp'. Judy just sighs, not sure what to do with her daughter.
It was the week before school that Quinn dyed her hair. She told Judy that she liked it, Judy didn't say anything. Judy didn't say anything when Quinn came home stinking of smoke, she knew then that her youngest daughter was going off the rails. Judy got a call the first day of Quinn's school, saying she didn't turn up for any lessons. They weren't even sure that she was in. Judy told them that she was sick. She came home that night, and went straight to bed. She didn't ask her daughter anything, when the school called again, she told them the same thing. Quinn was sick. Judy never questioned what Quinn was doing, it wasn't that she didn't care, she just didn't want to know the answer.
The week later Quinn changed, she took her nose ring out, re-dyed her hair and suddenly she wasn't smoking. She went to school and she made a complete U-turn. Things, Judy thought, were looking up. She thought that maybe she had been going through a phase in life. What Judy didn't know was that Shelby Corcoran and a certain Miss Beth Corcoran was in town, and Quinn wanted her back.
It was the middle of the night when Judy got the call. It was from a doctor at the local A and E. The doctor introduced himself, saying that Quinn was in hospital and she was asking for her. Judy didn't even bother with her hair. She put on last night's jeans and t-shirt and went down to the A and E. She was guided to a small room where Quinn was laying. She was conscious, from the phone call Judy received, she didn't know what to expect. Quinn was laying there, her makeup was smudged, eyes red rimmed. She didn't know what was wrong. She took the seat next to the bed and put her hand on her daughters.
"Mom?" she sniffs. "I'm so sorry." She sobs, Judy soothes her, still not entirely sure what the matter is with her daughter.
"sleep baby." Judy rubs her daughters hands as she tries to fall asleep. It's about an hour when the doctor comes in. I nudge Quinn awake. She looks up to the doctor.
"Quinn how are you feeling?" She asks, Quinn shrugs.
"Well we've looked at your scan and we can discharge you." The two nod.
"Do you have a spare pair of pants?" Quinn asks Judy, who pauses. She's wearing one of those nasty hospital gowns., with her jumper over it. Judy hadn't seen the clothes that her daughter had been wearing, clearly Quinn didn't want to wear them. Laying there, she reminds Judy how young she really is. She looks so small, so young. She looks like she did when she was 8 and she had her appendix out, for the first time in a while, Judy thinks Quinn looks innocent. She looks too young to carry the weight of her world.
"I have a tracksuit in the car, I'll be a few minutes." She says to her daughter, she's not sure whose they are but they were there. Judy nips to the car, picking up some track pants that will be miles too big for Quinn, but apparently she wants it. When she gets back the doctor is talking too her, handing her a card. Judy comes over to Quinn, giving her daughter the trousers. She signs some papers for Quinn's release. The car ride is silent, until they turn into their road. Quinn is able to walk to the car, insisting to the world that she is fine. What Judy doesn't see is the bag that Quinn had, full of bloodied clothes.
"Mom, I don't feel well." Quinn moans, leaning forward, as if she's going to throw up. Judy just hugs her daughter, when they pull into their drive. Its getting light, she tells Quinn she doesn't have to go to school. Judy looks at the time, it's four thirty in the morning. It's in the kitchen that she tells her. Judy's making them both a cup of tea.
"Mom, I had a miscarriage." Her voice breaks at the end of the sentence. Judy turns to her daughter. The wind is knocked out her, is this some sick joke. She looks over at her daughter,
"Oh Quinnie." She says coming up to hug her daughter, soothing her as she sobs. "How far?" She asks tentatively, Quinn shrugs. Judy has to be careful with what she says, she doesn't want to hurt her daughter more.
"Five weeks or so." Judy hugs her daughter. They're teas go forgotten as Judy takes her daughter to bed. After laying down in bed, Quinn comes to Judy, like she used to when she had a nightmare, requesting to sleep with her. Except this wasn't a nightmare, this was real. This was her youngest daughter's life.
Quinn stayed off school for the next week. For the most part she laid in bed, she didn't cry. Quinn told Judy everything she did with Beth, how she regretted it. Judy just sat there listening. That was when the idea came to Judy. Shelby hadn't told her that Quinn had been visiting, least of all what she did to her. Quinn goes back to school. Judy worried about her daughter, how she was feeling.
It was when Quinn was at school that she decided what she was going to do for her daughter. She phoned the number that she had saved in her phone, arranging to meet the person at the end of the phone at breadsticks for lunch.
"Hello." Judy said to Shelby, as she approached their table. A small child was sitting in a highchair, colouring in the menu that she had been given. Shelby smiled back.
"So this is Beth huh?" Shelby smiled at Judy, nodding. "My God she looks like Quinn." Shelby nodded. "I'm going to cut to the chase. I'm here for one specific reason." Shelby looks at her. "Quinn."
"Uh I don't know really I can help you with Quinn." Judy shakes her head. Judy doesn't miss the look of horror when Judy brings up Quinn's name.
"I know what Quinn did too you, and it was completely out of order. She's really cut up about it. She knows what she did was wrong, but she wasn't being very rational." She stops as the waiter comes over, they order. Judy sighs, thinking how to phrase the next part.
"About two weeks ago I got a call in the middle of the night, it was from emergency department from the hospital. Quinn wanted me. When I got their she looked so small, she looked ill. I stayed with her, and it wasn't until we got home that she told me, she was miscarrying. My heart broke. I think that if she saw Beth it would make a world of difference."
"No." Judy sighs, looking at Shelby.
"If it was on your terms. I would happily have it at my house, to stop her doing anything. I really don't know what to do." Shelby thinks for a moment. "Please, I just want my daughter to be better. I don't know how she will get better." She looks at Judy, she can hear the desperation in her voice, her eyes tell the same story. Shelby sighs. She knows how Quinn feels, she can put herself in her shoes.
"One Saturday afternoon a month. At your house, I'll drop her round." Judy smiles, as they eat. Shelby tells Judy all about Beth, to Judy she sounds exactly like Fran did at her age, Lucy had always been different. It was when she became Quinn that she became 'normal'.
Judy didn't tell Quinn; she knew she would be in. She was constantly tired, apparently that was normal. Judy went to Quinn's doctor's appointment. Quinn was up and dressed when Shelby called. She wasn't going to stay; she didn't want to intrude. Quinn was in the kitchen, doing her math homework. When Judy came in, carrying a small child, Quinn didn't know what to say.
"Look Quinnie, I know I haven't always done right by you, but I don't like seeing you this upset, I really don't. That's why I convinced Shelby to let you see Beth every 2nd Saturday afternoon." Judy passed Beth to Quinn, who sat her on the table in front of her. She moved her homework over, suddenly it didn't seem as important. Beth reached for Quinn's hair, falling in the process. But she fell into Quinn's lap. She didn't cry, instead she used Quinn's shoulders to pull herself up, so that she could finally hold Quinn's. Judy saw Quinn kiss Beth's hands as she grabbed her hair, and then she knew, for real this time, that they will be ok.