"Oh my god, Kyle, shut up!" Eric Cartman wailed from his seat at the cafeteria. He was currently wolfing down a two day old double cheeseburger from McDonald's.

"What, fat boy? I'm just talking about a movie I saw the other night, it's not like I'm hurting anyone."

"You're hurting my heart Kyle, making me have to listen to your stupid Jew opinion. It's like, damn, can't anyone just eat in peace nowadays?"

Kyle ignored the fat-ass's remark, deciding it would just be best to shut up.

Cartman, looking satisfied, smiled down at his cheeseburger like a king conquering new land.

"Hey, hey, Kenny!" He said, "Did you see that new episode of Modern Family the other night? That show's really gone downhill."

As Kenny's muffled reply came, Kyle noticed something he should have noticed a long time ago.

"Guys? Where's Stan?"

AaAaAaAaAaA

The councilor of South Park Elementary, Mr. Mackey, was pissed.

Royally pissed.

He didn't have a reason to be pissed, it just happened. He just woke up extremely irritated. It happens to everyone, right?

But when it happened to Mr. Mackey, it was bad. Like, really bad.

He needed someone to take his anger out on.

AaAaAaAaA

Stan Marsh walked out of Mr. Garrison's class feeling pretty good about himself. He had scored the highest out of anybody on the math test! Having been kept by Mr. Garrison right before lunch to discuss this, he would be a bit late, but it didn't really matter to him.

"Wait till I tell Kyle about this!" He whispered to himself.

Just as he was about to walk into the cafeteria, he was stopped by a skinny yet commanding arm reaching out to block his way. Leaning against the door frame right in front of him, sporting sunglasses and an AC/DC shirt, was none other than Mr. Mackey.

"You're gonna have to come with me Stan, m'kay."

Stan gulped. "What did I do?"

"It doesn't matter what you did," came the reply. "What matters is that I'm the adult, and you're the child. So you need to get your little forth grade ass to my office right now."

Sighing, Stan gave in.

"Stan, where are your friends?" Mr. Mackey asked with as much authority as he could muster.

"Um... They're at the cafeteria... It is lunch time..."

Mr. Mackey took off his sunglasses to reveal a piercing glare.

"What was that?

Stan just looked confused.

"Was that ATTITUDE, Stan Marsh! I am your COUNCILOR!"

"Oh, no, it wasn't attitude, sir!" Stan said, a little too quickly.

Mr. Mackey gave a huff of annoyance. "Good. I'm going to go collect your little buddies. You stay put, m'kay? I'll be right back."

And with that, he put his sunglasses back on and made his way to the cafeteria to round up all his victims.