Hey, peoples! It's Kaiseress, and this here is my first ever crackfic to be published on this site! Basically, the gang goes on a camping trip, with me and my bestest crazy pal Daphne, and here's how the people act:
Atticus: is Atticus. I don't need to make him any dumber than he already is.
Chazz: is a Spazz-head. Nuff said.
Zane: is violent. Very violent. Especially with Chazz and Atticus because they are idiots and they get on the Kaiser's nerves.
Alexis: is just kind of there. Will probably beat Atticus with a stick once or twice.
Syrus: again, just kind of there, unless he's a victim of someone's insanity.
Jasmine: only here to justify calling Atticus a hypocrite. No real purpose.
Emma/Me: I'm insane, remember? And Zane's girlfriend.
Daphne: is crazy like a fox. That's kind of a joke because I swear, that girl is the biggest Kurama fan on the planet. Oh, and she's Chazzy's girlfriend in this one.
I am not using season 2 character for one simple reason: most of them piss me off. Anyway, on with the crack!
Disclaimer: Kaiseress does not own GX. If she did, she would be in GX, and then the world would be beyond all help. That is all.
GX Camping Trip
Subtitle: The Most Idiotic and Destructive Idea That Ever Entered Atticus's Tiny Brain
Chapter 1"Remind me again why I'm trekking through uncharted wilderness and getting eaten to death by mosquitoes," an irritable Chazz complained.
"Because we're on a camping trip, Chazzy, and you refused to put on bug spray!" the overenthusiastic elder of the Rhodes siblings said cheerfully. The youngest Princeton brother continued madly scratching at various bug bites.
"Come on Chazz, it'll be fun!" said Jaden Yuki in that insanely hyper voice of his. "A whole week with all our old pals from Duel Academy! What could be better?" the idiot asked as Chazz twitched violently.
"How about sleeping on a bed of nails, being forced to eat roadkill, getting lockjaw from aforementioned nails, getting food poisoning from aforementioned roadkill, and falling into a raging fire," Chazz suggested.
"Wow, Chazz, I didn't know you knew what 'aforementioned' meant," said Zane Truesdale with bored incredulity. "I wonder, could you spell that for us?"
"Watch it, emo-boy," Chazz snapped.
"Do you want me to hurt you?" Zane asked flatly. "Because if you have a death wish, by all means keep talking to me like that. I don't care how pathetic you are; I will hurt you very badly."
"Come on, Zane, don't kill Chazz just yet," I said. "If you must, kill him after we set up camp. If you kill Spazz now, he can't carry the packs."
"Right. Later," he relented. I sighed.
"Atticus, why did you suggest this again?" I asked my insane friend.
"Because we need a few days to ourselves, to chat and catch up and remember old time and be crazy!" Atticus exclaimed happily. The entire party anime-sweatdropped.
"Dearest brother, it's times like this when I wish you were not conscious," his sister said sweetly, masking venom.
"I can do that," Zane offered.
"Zane…" I began warningly.
"Fine," he sulked, dropping the stick he had been prepared to beat Atticus with.
"WE'RE HEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Atticus screamed in a voice that would have made everyone's eardrums explode if we hadn't been used to Jaden's inhuman level of screechiness and the fact that Syrus sounded more like a girl than Alexis did.
"Atticus!" everyone yelled. "Shut the CENSORED up!!!" (What we actually screamed at the moron would make this a rated T fic. That might be a problem because I want at least some of my stuff to be kid-friendly.)
End ChapterOh yes, I am quite nuts. Next time will be better, I promise. More crackfic-like. This was just to kind of set the scene. Push the button or I will sic Daphne on you and she will eat you. Don't make the mistake I did. I still have the scars.