Author's Notes: I'm trying to break my horrid case of writer's block so I decided to write this one shot. I'm terribly sorry to those who are waiting for the third chapter of Just One of Those Days. Hopefully I can get over this case of writer's block and start writing again. With this particular story, I am attempting to delve inside Trowa's head. During the course of the series, he always had this air of mystery around him. And since he wasn't very vocal like Duo, Quatre or even Wufei (to some extent), it left me to wonder what really goes on in his head. The main theme in this story is how Quatre has had such a profound effect on Trowa. The same can be said for Catherine as well but I feel as though Quatre had a much more significant impact on Trowa. Also I want to go on record to say that Trowa has ALWAYS been a hard character for me to write for… He isn't very vocal so it's easy to "forget" about him while writing a piece but if he comes across as too talkative or out of character then I apologize. Honestly, I really did try to get inside his head. Constructive criticisms are welcomed. Happy reading and thank you in advance for reading my story!
Disclamier: I don't own Gundam Wing or anything Gundam Wing related. If I did, I could die a happy woman but since I know that'll never happen…
Ten years have passed since Operation Meteor. That one assignment changed my life in more ways than one. When I first landed on Earth, I didn't think let alone believe that I would meet anyone worth protecting or fighting for.
But then he came along…
To this day, I still have a hard time believing that Quatre participated in Operation Meteor. At first glance, no one would have ever expected him to be a soldier. Most people who didn't know his true identity tended to assume he was the son of a military or colony leader but never a gundam pilot. Between the five of us, he was easily considered the weakest and frailest. After all, he was a soldier but a reluctant soldier who firmly believed in pacifism.
He was never one for fighting or bloodshed which only made me wonder why he was a soldier in the first place. Soldiers were meant to be firm, unyielding and uncompromising. They never backed down from a fight and they certainly didn't try to negotiate peacefully with their enemies. The rules were simple: kill or be killed.
With Quatre though, he was different. He was unlike any other person I had ever met. He treated his enemies with kindness just as he did with his allies. There were even times where I could have sworn he was grieving for all of the lives he had taken. But I never fully understood why he took the time out to remember them or why he even bothered to think about them at all. It wasn't until I actually started to spend time with him that I began to understand him a little bit better.
For instance, whenever he was bothered or worried, he tended to play the violin or piano. Whenever he was in deep thought, a very contemplative look would cross his face as he weighed his options. When he smiled, somehow it always managed to reach his eyes. If he was upset, a slight frown would grace his face but if he was angry, it always shone clearest in his eyes. Just by looking into his eyes, you could tell what sort of person he was.
But there has always been one thing that bothered me about Quatre. I don't understand what he sees in me. Even after meeting the others, he still sought me out the most. At first, I thought of him as a mere nuisance. He seemed to be too eager and naïve to actually be a soldier. If he truly knew what lay ahead of him then I highly doubt he would have been so eager to befriend me.
Even after my repeated attempts to push him away, he just wouldn't take no for an answer. It was almost like he was purposely going out of his way to harass me. Thinking back on those days, however, now I understand that he was just trying to save me from myself. Back then I didn't believe I needed anyone.
I had come to Earth alone and I was going to leave Earth alone providing I lived through Operation Meteor. I was used to living a solitary life but the more time I spent with Quatre made me realize that I didn't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I wanted to believe in something again. I wanted to be able to trust again. I wanted to be able to open up fully to others once again. I wanted to have someone see me for who I truly was. At the time, however, I didn't realize it but I had already found that in Quatre.
After everything I had been through, I had finally found someone who completely understood me. Someone that I could trust wholeheartedly. There were often times where we didn't need to speak because we already knew what was on each other's minds. There was also times when we could feel one another's pain and suffering.
Because we knew one another so well, perhaps too well, most people found our relationship to be strange. They didn't understand what we were to one another but their opinions and thoughts didn't matter. All that mattered was preserving his innocence. I never wanted anything to taint or hurt him. I always wanted him to be happy. For him, to always have a smile on his face. However, this proved to be easier said than done.
Quatre was far too naïve and idealistic for his own good. He tended to believe that nobody was truly evil. Instead, he believed in the good of everyone. He always had a habit of trusting others far too easily. More importantly, however, he was too gentle and pure.
Someone like him should have never become a soldier. He would have been better off living a sheltered and pampered life in the colonies. Instead, he chose to take it upon himself to fight for those who couldn't.
When he first told me that he was fighting so his loved ones wouldn't have to, that is when I made up my mind. I decided that since Quatre was so determined to protect what was important to him then I would do the same. Somehow along the way he had managed to become important, extremely important to me. He became so significant to me that the mere thought of losing him actually terrified me.
I never fully understood why I felt like that about him either. I didn't need anyone and I certainly didn't want him in my life. He was far better off without me and yet he still wanted to be with me. I had already tried keeping him at an arm's distance but that only seemed to fuel his desire to get to know me further. I always did think he was too persistent for his own good.
Eventually though, I just gave up on shutting him out. Better to let him stay than to risk hurting his feelings. Over time, he helped me grow as a person. Because of him, I actually looked forward to living rather than just going through the daily and monotonous motions. He showed me that there was more to life than what I had previously known.
Most people tended to think of him as my weakness but he has never been a weakness or burden to me. Rather he has always been my strength. When I didn't think I could go on or when I wanted to give up, I would just think about his determination and what drove him to do the things that he did. Selflessly fighting for people who could care less about his fate and yet somehow managing to keep a kind, caring and loyal heart…
I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.
He was the person to help me regain what I had lost. The one person who made me understand that living life to the fullest was always worth it. In the end, he was the one who helped me find my way back home when I was lost.
