The visions have always been here. When I was little I thought they were pretty pictures, I didn't know that some came true. But as I got older, around the age of 5, I thought I was crazy. I can see things, things that can happen. Some of the visions came true, others were fragments of what could been. At 7 I told my mother, and at first she thought I was kidding, but then I showed her, I her told her some, and most came true. Naturally, she was scared, thinking her daughter was possessed. My father thought I was crazy, and needed to be taken care of. They no longer loved me, they ignored me. There attention was on my little sister, Emily, who was only 1, and wasn't possessed. After a month of telling them my special talent, I was taken away from my home.
"Where are we going mother?" I asked in a small voice. We were in a car, going down a busy road. I was surprised when she answered; she never spoke to me anymore.
"To your new home," she said through gritted teeth. The love she had for me was gone, replaced with hate.
"But I live with you and papa," my voice was a little louder, but a lot angrier.
"Not anymore. You need help, and that is what your new home will give you."
Will they give my love, or hope, I thought to myself. I knew I needed help, I saw things, that wasn't normal, but what I wanted more was love and hope. Love so I can be happy, hope so I know I can have a future and no longer see it. At that moment I saw something, me alone in the dark. I was terrified.
"Where are you taking me?" I said more fiercely.
"To the asylum house down this street; the crazy house for people like you." The moment I showed her I saw the stuff, she talked to me like a little kid." They make the pictures in your head go away." The last two words were gritted, and sounded like someone telling a kid to get off there lawn.
The vision came back, but now I was crying in it, and wearing a jacket. My eyes were wide with fear. I shook off the picture. I hated the pictures. It was ruining my life. No one in my family loved or talked to me. I got pulled out of school by my parents. Papa no longer looked at me. Life was cruel. People were cruel.
"No," I said, "I'm not going there, ever."
"You have to!" Mother said, yelling the words at me. I flinched back into the seat.
A building was coming into view now. It was white, with no windows. As we got closer, it looked less like asylum, and more like prison. The car stopped in front of it.
"Get out," Mother said through her gritted teeth. I did. She stayed in the car.
"I don't want to go!" I screamed as tears ran down my cheeks. I knew if she left, I would no longer have my life.
"I got all your paperwork done. Walk in and tell them your name," and then she drove out of my life.
I turned around and stared and the building in front of me. I looked to the woods at my left. Run, said a voice inside my head, run now. I wanted to run, but to where? I couldn't live in the woods; I didn't have anywhere to go. I would die in two days.
Without realizing it, I walked forward to the building. It looked haunted. I could run away now, I thought. But I didn't. I opened the door and went to the counter. With no emotion, I said, "my name is Mary Alice Brandon," to the lady at the front counter. She was old, maybe in her fifties. Her face as blank and showed no emotion either. She looked at her clip board.
"Brandon, Mary. Seven years old. Sees visions in her head," she talked like I was not there. Then she got and walked down the hall to her right. I looked around, but I didn't move my feet. The walls were white, the floor was white, and I saw nobody. There was nothing on the walls, any pictures or paintings. I got scared.
The lady returned with a man. He was tall and had a mustache. He wore scrubs and had a clipboard too. He looked like a doctor to me. But his face was wrong. My doctor always had a smile on his face, a generous smile that said I want to help you. He had no smile, and his face had no emotion, like he was here only for money.
"Come with me," he said in a voice that matched his face. He turned and walked from where he came. I followed. As we were walking, I saw doors in the hall, but there were no windows so I could not see in the rooms. He stopped in front of one of the doors.
"I am Dr. Burner. This is your room. You will sleep here and stay here. No leaving unless told so. Meals are eaten in here and school is in here. Cloths are in the dresser. When you grow out of them tell me or another helper," he opened the door then, and a tear went down my cheek. There was a bed with brown covers and a pillow. There was a chalk board and two chairs on the other side of the room. There was a toilet and sink right by the door. And there was two lamps, one by the chalk broad and one by the bed. Right by the bed was a dresser. No windows, no pictures on the walls, no toys. No hope.
The man was gone and I was in the room. The door was closed and the lamp by the bed was on. I sat on the bed in a ball and let the tears stream down my face.
Years passed. I still saw the visions. I went in rubber rooms and got in electric chairs and got shocked. The visions still came. I saw people getting married, people on birthdays, people leaving this hell. I no longer saw myself. I had no future. My seventieth birthday was last month, and I got nothing for it. I don't even remember my family.
"Today was my last teaching," said Mr. Long. He was my school teacher for the last eight years. He knew I was smart; I got A's on my papers. He didn't know I cheated, and saw answers on the papers. Why try to learn when there was no point?
"Bye," I said in a monotone. I lost emotion in here. There was no reason for it in here.
"Goodbye," he said and hugged me awkwardly. I hugged him back, just to make him happy. I knew he was leaving because he was moving, although he didn't tell me. He got up and left. The new teacher was starting tomorrow, and I would be his only student. There were not a lot of kids in here, and there were twelve teachers, and only twenty kids here. When you turned eighteen you no longer had class. I laid on my bed and stared at the wall, looking at tomorrow.
I was eating breakfast: eggs and milk, when I heard a knock at the door. When I didn't say anything, the door opened and a guy walked in. He looked at me, but I didn't meet his gaze.
"Hello," he said. I didn't answer him. He cleared his throat and said," hello, my name is . What is your name?"
What a stupid question, I thought. He knew my name; he would have to if he was going teach me. I let out a sigh and said," Mary Brandon." I heard footsteps and then a click as the lamp turned on. The light was bright and it hurt my eyes at first. Just then I looked at him, and I gasped. The man in front of me had honey blonde hair that was thick and curly. It was cut nicely, right above his ears. His face was flawless, no blemish in sight. He was probably in his late 20's, and tall and lean with muscles. He looked gorgeous, but his eyes ruined the whole thing. They were a golden, liquid golden. They shone in the light.
"Let's get started now," he said, and I realized his voice was like music, it flowed and carried you places. "Today's lesson is about gravity and its properties….."
Throughout the whole lesson I memorized everything. But it was not the lesson that I focused on, it was him. I did not listen to the words he spoke, but the sound that came from his lips. When he wrote on the chalkboard I did not pay attention to what it said, but how it was written. For the first time in 10 years, I felt hope. I didn't know why this gave me it, but he did.
"That's the end of today's lesson," said in music."Tomorrow we will talk of algebra equations and the civil rights."
He got up to leave but I said," Wait!" I practically yelled it, and it was the first thing I said besides a name. I guess that's why he gave me a surprised look."You can't leave, not yet." My voice was barley audible; I was surprised he heard me.
"Is there something you need?" He asked. I remained quiet. Why would someone as beautiful and perfect as him want to talk with me when he needed to get home to take care of his family? He seemed to be in tune with me. "I have all the time you need," he said.
"Would you," I stammered, "please stay for a while? You don't…don't have too."
"Of course," he said sweetly. Why couldn't you just say no and leave? I thought. Now I have to talk of something so I don't look like an idiot. He sat down in his teaching chair and looked at me. After a while he asked," Why did you come here?"
I remained quiet a while before I answered."I was told I would be helped."
"Have you received it?"
Once again I was quiet. Why is he asking these questions? I only knew him for not even a day yet. Why would this gorgeous man in front of me care about me? But I answered."Not…. not yet." I was only being nice, for as soon as I said it I saw myself older, still in this dark hole.
"Will you receive it?"
"No."
His next question surprised me, I didn't see it coming." Do you need it?"
I thought for a while. "No, I do not. Gifts are gifts, and I intend to use mine." I knew he knew what I could do. I didn't need to tell or show him.
"Mankind needs to accept differences and misfits. If they could do that, then who knows how far they will come." I was surprised he agreed with me. I noticed he left himself out the sentence.
"Do you?"
"I'm here with you, aren't I?" I wasn't insulted like I might have been. It was just a statement of fact.
"Why did you come here?" I repeated his question
"I give what I can. I help what I can. This is all I can do for now."
Does he too see the pictures? I thought. Did he see that he could help me? Or was it just by chance that he was here, with me? I pondered on it for a moment. "What can you give, ?"
He laughed. It was beautiful. "For right now, hope." And I knew I got what I was looking for since the very beginning.
A week went by, the happiest week of my life. didn't teach me real lessons any more. He put As and Bs in the grade book and on empty papers. Instead of lessons, he told me amazing things I missed while in hell. He told me of Paris, a wonderful city in France that had the most elegant shops and the weirdest foods. There was new candy made, some he smuggled in for me to taste, others he didn't bother because he said they were sour; he knew I hated sour. One day he promised to take me to an ocean to see a beautiful creature called a dolphin. We would talk of things till the sun went and he had to take his leave.
"Don't leave me," I whispered to him one night. "Stay here, I would like to know about….," I thought for a moment. "I would like to know more about everything. Please stay."
He laughed his musical laugh. It memorized me for a second. "I'm sorry, my dear Mary. I must leave now, or I will never get home. It's getting to dark to drive."
"Then if you must leave now, make me a promise. Come back tomorrow."
Once again he laughed." Of course," he said. He got up to leave and had his hand on the doorknob when I said," Call me Alice." Mary was my human name, a name my parents called me in hate. My angel could not call me that without that feeling of outcastness coming upon me.
"Of course," he repeated and then left. I closed my eyes to see that his promise would be full filled.
More weeks went by. As they went by, I learned more and more of the world outside these walls. When didn't come, which was very rare for him, I would sit down on the bed and rerun lessons we already had. The pictures were still in my head, and I still got treatments, but for some reason I no longer cared about them. When I got shocked I used to scream with pain and regret. Now I barely notice the pain. The only pain I feel is when my angel is away from my sight.
I was eating lunch that day, tuning out the silence around me, when I heard a knock on the door. I ran to the door and opened it. was standing there, just as I had seen him, with a huge smile on his perfect face.
"Hello," I said, my voice cracking with excitement." What shall we do today?" I knew the answer. I couldn't wait to actually hear it, for it to be really real. stepped into the room.
"I have a surprise for you." He said." When was the last time you felt the sun?"
I didn't even think about it."Over ten years ago. I have seen it, but I forget the warmth of it."
"Would you like to go outside?" He asked.
Yes! I wanted to scream, but I couldn't find my voice. Finally I was able to answer, "More than anything else in world."
"They will let me take you out, to study weather, right now for an hour. Would you like to go now?"
I was already stepping out of the room, into the hall way. "More then anything else." I said and walked down the hallway in a daze. He caught up with me and held my hand. He patted it a couple times and guided me through the hall way. That was the first time he ever touched me physically. His hand was cold, like ice, and made me feel warm inside. Don't let me go, I thought. Don't let me go or I fall.
We got to the front door and I could see the light from outside. My walking speed up and I reached the door and stopped there. I looked up at . "It's ok," He said. I pushed the door open and took 6 whole steps into the outside world, the place I dreamed about.
I waited to feel the warmth of the sun, but it never came. When I looked up I saw that the sun was covered by white puffy clouds in the beautiful blue sky. I looked at the angel for an answer to this.
"I'm sorry," he whispered."I fear that we have overcast today."He looked at the sky. "The clouds won't leave till tonight." For some reason, I didn't care. I was finally out of hell, into heaven. Or my heaven at least. I looked at the woods right next to the asylum, the very woods I once thought of running to.
I felt the cold summer breeze. I heard the chirping of birds all around me. The smell was like nothing else in the world. I finally no longer felt the hopelessness and pain I always felt.
"Thank you," I said as tears brimmed my eyes." You have given me everything I could have asked for, more than I could have asked for. I love you." I hugged him.
He patted my head and smoothed out my hair. "I love you too."
I hugged him for a while. I let my arms drop then. "I wish to go into the woods. Please."
"Anything for you," and then he picked me up into his arms and carried me away from my prison.
We didn't go deep in, just a few yards. I sat down on the wet grass and closed my eyes. I hummed tunelessly and thought of how lucky I was to have meet . Even if I was normal, never been to the asylum, I would never have been this happy. It would be a very boring life and I would drift in the way my parents want me to go. I would get married to a man with a very promising life, and have enough money to take care of a family. I would stay home all day and take care of children and a house. I would die thinking my life was complete. I always resented my visions, but at this very moment, I couldn't. When life gives you a gift above all others, how can you ask for it to be taken away? When it leads you to the most beautiful thing on earth?
I opened my eyes and stopped humming. I saw right in front of me, but I also saw something else. Something coming this way. It was a man, with dark ruby eyes. He was going faster then a sprint, but was he just jogging. He was alone. Soon we wouldn't be.
"," I said, trying to be calm. It didn't work.
"Yes, Alice," he said, worry in his voice.
"We have to leave, now. We have to go back to the asylum." I couldn't believe my words.
"Why?"
"A man. A man is coming this way. He is proposing a threat."
"What does he look like? What is he doing?"
Why are you asking questions? We need to get out of here! "He has long blonde hair in a pony tail. His eyes are a dark red." froze."He is running fast, too fast to be possible. He is coming this way."
Mr. Las was frozen for a while. "We have to go," he said softly and grabbed my arm. He jerked me up and started to pick me up in his arms, but didn't have a chance. Just then the man submerged from the woods.
The two men looked at each other for a while, and then the man looked at me. His eyes were pleasant looking, but I knew they meant danger. took pulled my arm and started walking away, his eyes till intent on the man in front of us. We both walked away till he was out of sight and we turned around and walked till we were back in the asylum, back in my room. I sat on the bed as closed the door. It was quiet for a few minutes.
"We have to go," said.
I nodded my head. I knew that much. "Where?"
"Away from here."
"Somewhere safe."
"No where is safe. Don't you see? That man is a tracker. He tracks down people and kills them."
"How to you know this?!" I nearly shouted." How do you know? And how was he running so fast? Why were his eyes red?!" I felt ashamed for speaking like that to him. I had to fight back the tears.
was quiet for a while. Then he spoke so softly and quietly I could barely hear him. "That man is James. I know him. I used to travel with him till I couldn't stand the way I was living. He loves challenges, loves to kill. I left him and his ways and never looked back. He never stops. Never has someone lived."
I got up and walked toward . "We have to go now, or he will break in here. I have nothing to pack, nothing to take with me. I am leaving nothing behind. But you are. I will go by myself. I can not ruin your life."
"You are my life," he said and opened the door. We both walked down the hallway to the main door.
"I would like to have Miss Mary Brandon released from here," he said to an old lady at the front desk.
She looked at him to me and back to him. "Why is she being released?" she asked.
"I am going to take her to my house so she live with me and I will study her to learn more about her condition. I believe her brain rays will alter a reaction in the way we live." I tried not to laugh at the last part. I knew he was just making things up so it would look like he was smart and knew what he was doing.
The lady eyes widened a little. When she spoke again her voice was different. An octave higher. "Very well. She is released. I guess you are fired then, because there is no one left for you to teach. Goodbye. Good luck on your studys."
directed me to the door and then to his car. I went into the back seat, though I was now old enough to go in the front. I haven't been in a car for so long, I thought. Not since my mother dropped me off here. I thought of her face, of her voice, but come up with nothing. I only remembered one thing about my family, and that was my little sister. Her giggles and her face. I wondered how she looked like now. Did she think of me? A vision answered that question. She did not. My parents never told her she had a sister. She was only child.
got into the car and started driving away. "We could go back to my house. Or we could just go run away. Maybe we could take a plane to Florida."
", we can't win." I said in a calm voice. This surprised me. I knew I was going to die, but it didn't bother me. Maybe because for 10 long years I have been wishing for death. I got it now, only it was late. Why now when I was happy.
"Yes, we can. And we will." He said in a confident voice. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't believe him. I kept quiet. I didn't want to burst his bubble. There was no way for me to get out alive. I looked for one the whole car ride, but came up with none. The car stopped. I looked out the window and saw we were at a house.
"Come with me," said. He got out, and so did I. He went to the door and opened it. I followed him inside. It was very cozy inside, with nice furniture. walked down a hall and into a room. I looked at wall and saw many pictures and paintings. This place has a very nice atmosphere, I thought. came back after a while with a backpack. "We have to go," he said and walked out the door and back to car. I walked forward to the car and got in again.
drove to a forest clearing and got out of the car. He opened the back door and picked me up. I yawned. "Go to sleep. I will take care of everything," he whispered. I wanted to protest, but my eyes closed and sleep came to quick.
I woke up on a pile of leaves. It wasn't the best night sleep I ever got. was no where in sight. I got up and looked around. No one. I didn't dare to call out. There was an unnatural breeze and I looked around. was right by the pile of leaves. "I'm sorry," he said, voice stricken with grief. "We can't win."
"I know," I said. This is the end. No more life for me. But it was ok with me. was safe and that's all that mattered.
"We can't win, but you can," he said.
I stared at him for a long time. "What do you mean?"
He took in a deep breath of air. "I'm going to leave now. You might not ever see me again." Mt knees wobbled. "I'm going to go hold off James for as long as I can." I couldn't see in front of me, my eyes were all clouded. "When he gets here, you will be safe. As safe as I can make you."
"Don't," I said as I grasped the meaning of his words. "You can't sacrifice yourself. You have a role in this world, I don't. I'm just a crazy little girl who sees the future, but doesn't one herself. You can't do this." Tears fell down my face.
came up to me and hugged me. "I love. I always will. You are the reason for my life, and can't let you die. My role in this world is to save you. This is the only way I would want to go." He knew he was going to die, and still he was going.
"I love you," I said, my voice thick. "I will always love you."
"Till the end of our lives."
"Till the end of time." This is it, I thought. I might live, but my life would always be gone with him. I just then realized something. "How will I live?" I asked. "When there is no way to protect me?"
smiled. It was a smile of pain. He grabbed my wrist. "I love you," he said, and then he bit me.
I felt fire then, a fire like no other. Worse pain then being shocked or being alone. Worse then any pain I could think of or I have had.. But I didn't scream. I couldn't let my angel hear my pain.
I heard a sound then. Not a sound, a word. One word. The last word I ever heard while I was still human. The last word Michael Las ever spoke, but maybe the most important one to me. It would stay with me forever, no matter how long that might be. It was, "Alice."
As the fire washed over me, so did memories. Me as a baby, a toddler, me at a birthday party. My family, my beautiful baby sister who will have everything I ever wanted. Michael and me at our first lesson, and our last. As soon as I saw them I forgot about them. Only one thing stuck to my mind, "Alice."