Welcome to The Fabulous Adventures of Goldie-Locks and Test-Tube Baby. This is an OC ff, and maybe even an OCs ff depending on how wild and free I'm feeling. I hope you will join me for this ride of sarcastic comedy, endless banter, and hopefully, amongst it all, we might even find some genuine heart-felt moments. Maybe even a little drama.

Please enjoy your stay, and all the gay.

Warnings: Contains slash, OCs, tongue-in-cheek humour, swearing, sexual comedy, and a drowning Cam.

Part of Your World

Cam probably should have worked out that shit was going to get gay when he was rescued Little Mermaid style by a merman.

Admittedly, he also should have known that someday, he was going to end up nearly drowning. The problem was that when you have a newly formed merman as your best friend, you tend to find yourself in such impossible scenarios that you lose all grasp of common sense.

It was late evening and the weather was atrocious. Not just 'stormy' either. The waves were a good metre tall, and you couldn't see your hand before your face thanks to the rain. It was falling so heavily it hurt when it drummed down upon your head, although most people were wise enough to be locked up indoors, watching the weather channel for further guidance.

Of course, most people don't have a merman as a best friend.

Earlier that day, Cam had gone out with Zac to Mako, back when the skies had been clear and the ocean had been flat. With their usual cover of going on a diving trip, Zac had swum around with his pretty blue tail whilst Cam had wetsuited-up to join him. Together, they'd explored the reef, Zac showing off his new fancy mermaid powers whilst Cam had functioned as his audience.

When the weather had started to turn, however, they'd both agreed to end the diving session for the day. Zac promised to meet Cam back on the mainland's pier and had then rocketed off underwater, as enthusiastic as ever. "One last swim," Zac had said, grinning in his usual goofy manner.

Cam had not been so lucky. No sooner had Zac left did he discover that the boat's engine was playing up. Whenever he tugged the starter chord it would release a moody growl, like a bear unwilling to be awoken from its slumber. As the skies darkened from sunny blue to the grey of storms, he became increasingly desperate. The boat started to rock from side to side as the waves rose, lapping into the side of the boat, innocently at first, then with greater force.

By the time he'd coaxed the engine into functioning the skies were pouring with rain and he had to grip the boat to keep himself from falling. Squinting through the rain, completely disorientated and with no clue as to which direction the mainland lay in, Cam kept on going. Firmly grasping the rudder he navigated his way across the rolling ocean, praying for a miracle.

His luck being what it was, however, no miracle ever came. Just as the heavens began to rumble with thunder, promising yet more fun to come, Cam's boat overturned, dumping him into the freezing bitterness of the sea. The cold was the least of his worries though. Every time he managed to resurface, seconds later a wave would cut over his head. He barely had enough time to choke up the water that had flooded him, let alone breathe, before another wave dunked him down.

The periods between being above the water and buried beneath it began to blur all into one as his mind became woozy, and the furious kicking of his legs started to weaken as exhaustion set in. When he surfaced he did so by chance, his body bobbing up in snatches. He gasped in breath but was barely conscious of it, his vision spinning. Around him thunder was cracking, fading into the noise of the crashing waves. Somewhere in the back of his head, a voice was mumbling the same thing over and over.

You're going to drown. You're going to drown.

He tried to ignore it, tried to fight back against the tiredness, to keep his eyes open and his legs kicking. If he could just find the boat, maybe he could use it to keep afloat.

Hey, guess what? You're going to drown.

Snorting to himself with a twisted smirk, Cam could only agree. There wasn't much hope left in the situation. He could no longer feel his limbs and his face was numb, his lips blue and purple. Mostly, he just wanted to sleep. It didn't seem like such a bad idea. Surely sleeping would be better than drowning.

As his consciousness started to slip away, however, he felt something around his waist. It took him a good while to actually register the feeling, the numbness prominent throughout his body, but eventually he had to acknowledge that yes, there was something wrapped around his middle.

He then noticed something else. He was moving, and at a considerable speed too. Admittedly it wasn't the best rescue ever; half the time whatever was carrying him seemed to be aiding the waves in holding him underwater, but all the same, he was moving. Bleary from his half-consciousness, he experienced little more than a feeling of mild, pleasant surprise. Relief washed over him, and in an exhausted daze he welcomed sleep with open arms.

When he awoke, he did so on dry ground. It was light too, for he had to squint to cope with the sudden brightness. Blue skies soared overhead, and there was the cool, refreshing breeze of the ocean shore blowing across his face.

The initial moment of tranquillity was somewhat ruined, however, when he started spluttering up water, turning his head aside to cough it up onto the sand. His body ached with each shudder that ran through it, but it emptied the water out of his system and by the end, he almost felt as good as new. Almost.

Then, beside him, he heard the sound of someone else spewing up water, spraying it across the sand. His head still pounding from dehydration and exhaustion, it took Cam a moment to regain command over his body. When he finally did, however, he turned his head, looking over to the other side to locate the source of the coughing.

Whoever the hell they were, Cam didn't recognise them, but he did recognise the thing hanging off of their hips.

Another merman? He thought blearily, groaning slightly at the prospect. Zac was enough to deal with, but now there was another one, choking up water beside him.

The merman emptied a few more bouts of water out onto the sand and then sighed, wiping his mouth with the heel of his hand. "There is nothing more embarrassing than a merman nearly drowning," the individual beside Cam muttered to himself, glowering at the patch of sand he had just wetted.

Snorting in amusement, unable to stop himself, Cam couldn't help but find the sheer surrealism of the scenario amusing. The only thing the moment was missing was a big ol' Disney song number and a rock for them to pose dramatically upon.

His vision becoming clearer and his head now able to process a little more, Cam examined the individual beside him. He didn't exactly tick the 'Heroic Rescuer' boxes. Shirtless, as Cam had noticed most mermen tended to be, the fish-boy next to him was as scrawny as they came, his skin pale enough for it to look almost sickly. His tail was odd too. Cam could see that underneath, it was the same blue colour as Zac's, but there was a black, rot-like substance that had entreated upon it.

Then of course there was the deformation. One side of the boy's tail was ragged, the fin battered and filled with holes. The tail itself looked weak, scales missing and flaking off, the shaping not quite right.

"You're alive," the merman said, noticing Cam studying him. He smiled, and it suited his face, which was heart-shaped and healthy in appearance, especially compared to his body and tail. He had dark hair cropped short, dark eyes, and deep flushes of red accentuated his features, colouring the swells of his ears, nose, cheeks and lips so that he looked cold despite the warmth of the sun. Judging by his build he couldn't have been much younger than Cam, and yet his face was deceptively youthful, the eyes bright and the smile cheerful, possessing the same kind of optimistic charm that most children have by nature.

Sighing, the merman gave him a dutiful sort of grimace. "I'd better get going." He started turning himself around on the sand, using his elbows to drag himself around in a circle. "See you around," he said over his shoulder in a casual, happy-go-lucky sort of manner.

Once facing the ocean, he employed the same method of elbow-dragging to tug himself into the water, submerging the underside of his body. Behind him, his tail lay as a dead weight, unmoving and wedged in the sand. Even to Cam's bleary mind, it was obvious that it was slowing him down significantly.

Pursing his lips, the merman glanced back over his shoulder at his mangled tail, and then glanced over at Cam. "This thing is really ruining my dramatic exit," he said with a huff, shaking his head derisively to himself before dragging himself further out into the sea. Eventually he managed to get far out enough to keep his tail afloat, and with a somewhat awkward kick of his tail, he dived down into the ocean, disappearing off into the waters.

Left there alone on the beach, half-drowned and entirely dazed, Cam stared at the spot from which the merman had disappeared. "See you around," the merman had said. That wasn't a promise Cam was all too eager to hold him to.

Whatever the hell that had been, Cam was pretty sure it wasn't going to make his life any easier. One merman had been enough. Now two? Two was sure to be a whole lot of fun.