Germany's Beer- A Hetalia short story.
Before I begin:
Hetalia is NOT mine. If it was, then yay me, I guess...
"Where the fuck is my beer?!"
Germany stormed into his room and removed everything from his bed. That includes quilt covers, clothing and other weird things that were there. "It's got to be here somewhere!"
He got onto both knees and peered under the bed and started to carelessly shift away things such as luggages and weapons which were blocking his way. after a few hopeless minutes, there was no luck. "Nope, not here..." he grumbled to himself, then stood up.
It was a warm, sunny Monday afternoon, and today was the right time for Germany to just relax outside in the sun, sipping his beer peacefully. Unfortunately for him, his beer went missing. He cannot complete his day with at least having a pint of beer in his system.
He flung the food cupboards open, checking for any luck. He let a few items drop in the process, but he didn't care. He just wanted to find his beer. Sighing in distress, he closed the cupboard firmly, without picking the stuff that dropped up.
"I'll have to ask everyone about my beer tomorrow..." He told himself, whilst giving up and plopping onto his sofa in dismay. "Maybe they'll know where it is..."
Tomorrow, the world meeting came.
"Alright dudes!" America called to catch all the countries attention, which he successfully did. "Today's the day we actually speak about shit that needs to be done in this world." America pointed his index finger at China. "China, I choose you to give ideas!"
"Uh..." China blinked. "This is kind of out of the blue, aru, but...we could talk about pollution?"
America nodded, and wrote carelessly in his notebook. "Uh-huh...yeah..." He looked up at everyone. "So, waddya ya'll know about pollution?"
Italy rose his little hand in the air. "Yes Italy?"
"That it kills!" He exclaimed stupidly.
"Way to state the obvious." China said sarcastically to make Italy look stupid.
"That's right!" America chirped, ignoring China's message. He wrote what Italy said in his notebook. "That...it...ki...how do you spell 'kills'?" The rest of the nations face-palmed, or shook their heads. "Oh wait never mind, I know how."
The door all of a sudden slammed open, and an angry German was standing before them. Italy's face brightened and smiled at Germany. "GERMANY-"
"I have a few questions..." He interrupted Italy rather calmly, despite him looking like he was going to murder someone. All the nations stared at him, aware of his unusual entrance.
"Uh, go on..." England said, a bit confused about what on earth was going on with Germany.
"Where is my beer...?" he asked in a cold, spin chilling tone, while sitting down next to Japan.
"What beer, Germany-san?" Japan asked, trying not to provoke him in anyway. He knew he would die if he did, anyways.
"Oh, you know what I'm talking about." Germany replied. He drummed his fingers off the table, making the atmosphere more intimidating than it already was. "You know that yellow beer that looks like urine but it's not?"
Japan gulped and shook in fear. He didn't like how Germany was looking at him at all...
"No, Germany-san...I...I never seen or heard of it-"
Germany immediately stood up, knocking his chair backwards and startling everyone. "NO ONE IS CONTINUING THIS MEETING UNTIL WE FIND OUT WHO STOLE MY BEER!" He boomed, causing everyone to fall silent. America shook his head and stood up as well.
"Alright, doo-doo heads!" America said, childishly. "which one of you ass-holes drank his beer, huh?!" Nobody answered. America pouted and folded his arms. "Fine." he sulked. "Don't answer me then! suspicious people."
England rolled his eyes. "Well we all know it can't be Japan, he doesn't drink at all..." he stated.
"Yup, I am not involved in this..." Japan said, sliding his chair back. America pointed his index at England. "THEN IT CAN ONLY BE YOU, ENGLAND!"
Everyone gasped dramatically and England stood up immediately. "Bastard! how can you say it's me?!"
France then got involved, only because well...it's England, right? "Because, mon cheri, you always drink alot." He answered the question. He then grinned seductively at England. "Don't remember the time when..." He got up and whispered in England's ear, causing him to blush and punch France right in the face.
"IT WAS ONE TIME, YOU GIT!" He exploded. "Plus, don't YOU remember? it was red wine, not beer!" France sat up and began to laugh in his "honhonhon~" way.
"What a creep." America casually said.
Germany's eyebrow twitched then shouted out "You dummkopfs! (idiots!) We need to get on with this investigation now!" England, France and America then kept quiet.
"Yeah, haha..." America replied nervously. "Sorry, Germany."
"There can only be on person who does drink a lot in this group..." China said, thinking to himself. England nodded slowly.
"Yeah, you're right China..." He agreed.
"I don't wanna point the finger but...RUSSIA WHAT DID YOU DO?!" America exclaimed, pointing at Russia. Russia's slim eyebrows furrowed.
"Why do you point at me, America?" He asked sweetly. America leaned his face closer to Russia's, making Russia gasp a bit in surprise. America's blue, sapphire eyes looked searchingly into Russia's pure amethyst ones. Russia's sweet face then softened "Ah~ I see..."
America raised an eyebrow, dumbfounded. "What?"
"You want kiss, da?~" He asked, grinning slightly.
America's heroic cheeks flushed red and his eyes widened. "NO!" He turned away from him, folding his arms like a tsundere would. "If I was to kiss you that would be the death of me!" Russia then giggled cutely.
"Aw~ ok." He replied cheerfully. "So, what did I do?"
"You're the one who drank all of Germany's beer, weren't you?" England asked, slamming his hands off the table in front of Russia. Russia looked down at England's hand then back at him. "I don't drink beer."
Silence.
"Uh..." England bellowed, lost in words.
"See, the only drinks I like to drink is vodka." He replied rather darkly. "I don't suppose you were about to but all the blame on me, right?"
England had a sweat drop coming down from the side of his head. "HAHAHAHAHAH! T'was a joke, my friend! hahahahha!" he lied nervously. "See? all jokes and banter!"
Germany sat down again. "Well it seems everyone had their say, excluding..." Germany's blue eyes suddenly drifted to look at Italy. Italy was startled when he saw Germany looking at him.
"Veh~?"
"Were you the one who stole my beer...?"
Italy began to shake. "Uhm..."
"Italia..."
"Eh..."
"Italy..."
Silence. Then Italy began to sniff.
"Uh, Italy...?"
"IT WAS ME!" He said, bursting into tears, waving a white flag as hard as he can. "Mi dispiace molto, per favore non uccidermi! Faro qualsiasi cosa, qualsiasi cosa! (I'm very sorry, please do not kill me! I'll do anything! anything!)
Everyone stared at Italy, confused.
America was the most surprised out of all of them.
"Italy...you drink?"
And yeah, that's it. I knew you saw it coming a mile away anyways xD