This story was written for trope bingo for the holiday trope :)
mature content herein ;) be ye warned!
Steve really hated the days he was cooped up inside with a mountain of paperwork. He knew that it was necessary given the nature of what he did while in the suit, but it didn't make it any less of a pain in the ass. He'd actually made some headway in the stack. The pile of completed versus not yet assessed was weighing in favor of the former, but there was still a considerable amount left, which at this point in the day seemed all the more daunting.
He mused that it was ironic, with the amount of technology and modern conveniences that made clerical office type work much easier, he was even doing paperwork to being with. Especially for an organization with billions of dollars in advanced resources at its disposal. Worse yet, he knew that all the paperwork he'd just done would only be scanned into a master database.
With a heavy sigh, he signed and dated the latest document from that never-ending paper mountain, and leaned back in his thankfully comfortable chair.
"Sucks, don't it."
He jumped a bit at the loudness in which Tony's voice reverberated through the quiet of the small office.
"Sorry. Thought you had super hearing or something."
Steve shook his head, and pretended to be less amused than he really was, "Nope. I'm not bullet-proof either."
The subsequent expression Tony had on his face was damn amusing - a sort of confused and disgruntled look combined into one.
"You just made a Superman joke." He said it like it was an almost unfathomable thing.
Steve just shrugged and left Tony to ponder that apparent conundrum in his own time. He didn't even know why he was there to begin with, and seeing as Tony never really sought him out unless it was to pester him, he was absolutely fine with messing with the man's misconceptions of him.
"Is there another mission or something?"
Tony looked up, distracted for a moment, before answering, "Huh? Um no, some of your mail got mixed with mine."
He waved a stack of envelopes haphazardly, before tossing them on top of the last document Steve had signed. Steve was suspicious though and eyed the stack warily, because despite the fact that SHIELD had to temporarily rent out a couple floors of Tony's tower after an explosion from a project gone wrong there were plenty of office aides that could have done this errand. The fact that Tony took it upon himself was not the least bit reassuring.
Not to mention, the green envelope at the top of the stack wasn't postmarked. It just had Darcy's handwriting scrawled across the surface. He grinned at the little heart she drew after his name, and figured that she must've passed it on before she left for the day.
He didn't even think twice before he tore it open and slipped out a card that was an even brighter shade of green. He chuckled at the words printed across the front - bright yellow, that cheerfully asked 'Wanna get lucky?' followed by a rendering of bright red lips, ready to kiss. It was even better on the inside, because there was no cheesy sentiment, just Darcy's handwritten 'Then hurry home, soldier'.
And a printed picture of her. Naked. All done up like a pinup girl with sparkly green shamrock stickers stuck to the paper over her nipples.
Just the sight alone had his pent up frustration making itself known in the form of a fast hard-on. He wished he was with her that very moment, instead of stuck with his unfortunate stack of post-op reports after an overlong mission.
He heard a snort behind him, and looked over his shoulder to find Tony still standing there, eyebrows reaching for his hairline in an expression of surprise. Truthfully, he'd thought Tony had left, though he should've known he'd stick around. The man had to meddle in everything. He felt his face grow hot and red, so he glared at Tony, and shuffled some papers over the card and picture.
"Damn...I thought you two were just being cute, I wasn't expecting that..." The nosy bastard started rambling, but paused after a moment. "So, you actually...you aren't too old to...you know..."
Steve held his glare without wavering, and hoped that blatant hostility would convey that he wasn't about to have this conversation with him.
"What are you still doing here, Tony?"
Tony simply shrugged in amusement, and gave a nod to the hidden card.
"I think the question, Cap...is what are YOU still doing here?"
Steve couldn't have escaped the tower fast enough, and if it weren't for traffic laws - the majority of which he was obligated to follow - he would've been home with Darcy, already getting lucky. Just the notion of her waiting for him in his apartment, was enough to keep his mind focused on getting to her, and not the increasingly heavy traffic around him.
The bike, his bike was an extension of himself that maneuvered nimbly between cars, cabs, and buses, while he imagined what he would find once he got to her. He wondered if she would be naked like her picture. He also guessed she set this whole thing up while he was on mission, which just made him all the more determined to see her. To finally hold her, kiss her, and bury himself inside her...no matter what she was or wasn't wearing.
So when he did finally reach his building, he abandoned his bike in its spot and took the steps two and three at a time. He nearly careened right into Mrs. Roberts who was also heading up the stairs with a few bags held tightly in her grasp. Not wanting to be a complete ass, he stopped to apologize and offer to help her carry her packages the rest of the way.
But she had just gave him a sly grin, before telling him, "I got this. You better get going, that pretty young woman of yours is waiting on you."
As much as he wanted to keep racing up the stairs, there was a little part of him that felt the need to stay and make sure Mrs. Roberts didn't need help. Until she swatted at him, and shooed him away, telling him "get up them stairs you stupid boy!' and that she'd make him help next time he bumped into her.
He laughed but kept going, and the excitement that had been temporarily distracted out of him was back making his heart race when he reached his door.
Steve wasn't sure what to expect when he actually opened the door. Maybe Darcy would be waiting for him in something green and lacy. Maybe she would actually have little sparkly shamrocks over her nipples - and the spontaneous thought of her breasts bouncing, tips covered in shiny clovers as he thrust into her, made his cock strain hard against his pants.
But she was nowhere in sight.
He was beginning to wonder if she was at her own apartment (which sparked another sudden thought that questioned the practicality of separate places), but a bright spot of green caught his eye. A piece of paper - shaped like a shamrock - pinned to the couch cushions...that said 'Fuck me here' in bold black letters.
The words were a very welcome invitation, and he pulled his shirt loose and unbuckled his belt as he turned hoping to find her suddenly there, ready to make good on that written demand. She wasn't there though, but his eye did catch another patch of green on top of the kitchen table. So he walked over to it and found another shamrock that said 'and here'.
He groaned at the thought of her laid across the table, legs spread for him, and he unzipped his pants to relieve some of the that pressure. Of all the things he thought he'd find, it certainly wasn't a naughty trail of breadcrumbs. Though, he'd be lying to himself if he tried to deny that he'd never been more turned on than he was right then.
And now that he realized what was going on, he searched for more shamrocks, and found them all over. The kitchen counter, the floor in the hall, he even peeked in the bathroom and found two little ones taped to the big mirror, and two to the counter. The two on the mirror said 'my hands'...and 'your hands' was written on the two on the counter.
He needed to find her now. He also had a pretty good idea where she'd be, seeing as he hadn't looked there yet.
The buttons on his shirt were an afterthought as he pulled it off and discarded it as he approached his bedroom. Sure enough, she was there, and he pulled his cock free at the sight of her on his bed languidly pleasuring herself.
She smiled at him, and he didn't miss the way her eyes roved over him, lingering in certain areas, "Took you long enough."
"This time of day? I was lucky to get here as fast as I did."
She grinned devilishly at that and reached for him, "You're about to get even more lucky...on multiple surfaces."
He crawled on the bed and up her body, resting between her thighs, and kissed her hard and breathless.
"Bathroom next."