A/N: Warning, this story has slight slashiness because EVERYONE wants Scott. Except for maybe Professor X, we're not sure yet... Anyway, no! Don't stop reading yet! If you want something stupid and pointless to read, this is for you! Yeah... so, read and enjoy and respond if you feel so inclined. Ooh, long sentence. Wow. Okay. Oh by the way, there are two people here and not one. So, just... yeah, don't think we're one person here with multiple personality syndrome
The doorbell rang. Scott jumped up in anticipation and hurriedly ran to the door in a manner much akin to a kamikaze airplane. He ran into Kitty on his long trip down the stairs-- literally.
She shrieked in surprise as Scott landed on top of her in a very suggestive manner.
"Oops, sorry Kitty," he said in a distracted voice and continued his trek to the door. "Finally, finally, finally!" he said almost giddily. He giggled with confident expectation and opened the door to find a small package lying on the doorstep. He grabbed the package, much like anyone would grab a very small package with their name on it, and dashed to his room.
"Hehehe, it's here! Now I can have Jean for my very own." Impatiently, he tore the wrapping open and revealed a small, blue-tinted bottle. With greedy eyes and an evil grin, he read the label on the bottle.
Use in small doses.
Warning: In case of too much you must rub a-- [and it was here that the letters were rubbed off and thus, unlegible]"
All of this fancy talk really impressed the lonely mutant known as Cyclops. Not wanting to waste another second, he opened the bottle and attempted to put a small amount onto himself. Unfortunately, things did not go as planned, for his hand slipped and his poured it all over himself. He said several words that would make a sailor blush and jumped quickly into the shower to rinse the rather potent (but very flowery with a slight touch of strawberries and kiwi) scent off.
"Aww, man," Scott whined, taking off his shower goggles and replacing them with his regular sunglasses as he stepped out of the shower. "Jean's gonna think I've been making out with-- Kitty! What the hell?!"
Scott quickly draped the shower curtain around himself so as to hide "Little Cyclops" from the supposedly innocent little freshman girl.
"Like, wow, Scott, I never knew you were so..." Kitty paused, taking a few steps closer and purring seductively in his ear: "totally well endowed."
"Eep. Um, Kitty, I--"
"Shhh." She put a finger to his lips, and a hand somewhere else. "Don't speak. Like, take me now."
"I-- uh-- I don't think this is a very-- Aaah! Kitty! Um, I have to go!" And with that, Scott ran out of the bathroom and down the hall still clad in his makeshift shower curtain toga.
"Like, damn," Kitty moaned. "Maybe I should, like, find Kurt while I'm in the mood to--"
Scott ran. Well, first he threw on some clean clothes, and then he ran out
of the Institute. Who knew the perfume stuff really worked! Now, he had to find Jean.
Scott giggled insanely and kept on walking.
"You were flirting!"
"I was not! I was merely commenting on--"
"'Oooh, what big muscles you have!'" Lance snapped. "I heard the whole thing!"
"Well... you... stupid!" Pietro crossed his arms and glared at his boyfriend. "You're just jealous because you know you'll never have muscles like that!"
"I can have anything I want!" Lance retorted.
"Oh yeah, I bet you can't have... uh... him!" Pietro pointed at Scott, who happened to be walking by just at that particular second.
"I can so! Just-- hey... something smells off."
"Yeah, something smells kinda fruity..."
"You sure it's not you?"
"Oh, that's it, I'm leaving!" And with a flash of whatever colored clothes Pietro was wearing at the moment, he was gone.
"Okay, Lance, this should be a piece of cake," Lance said to himself, and anyone who happened to be nearby, including Scott.
"What?" the confused-- and suddenly very attractive-- mutant questioned.
Lance approached Scott, looking very dazed and grinning rather scarily.
"I said 'what'. What are you talking about?" Scott was feeling kind of peckish. "Cake?"
Lance quickly and romantically grabbed some flowers (actually, they were those weeds that looked like flowers) from someone's front yard and shoved them in Scott's face. "You're looking very..." Lance looked for a word in his mental dictionary. "Rock-- erm, I mean... punctual. No, wait... damn. TALL today!"
After sneezing from an allergic reaction to the weeds, Scott responded, "Uh... thanks. I guess. That's very... strange of you to say."
"Why don't we go somewhere where we could be alone?" Lance suggested, winking lewdly at Scott.
Scott suddenly felt very scared. "Why don't we not?"
"Come on, baby, don't treat me so badly." Lance advanced stealthily-- or, he tried to be stealthy about it. He kind of stumbled a little, but all in all, it was a successful one step forward. There was a slight, romantic tremor in the ground, as Lance put on his most charming smile and kissed Scott smack on the lips, to which Scott responded with:
"Mmmphmm!!" That roughly translated as: "Yuck!", to which Lance responded with:
"Mmm." That roughly translated as "Mmm".
Scott then responded with "Mmm." and then a mental Noooo! Well, this is kinda... Nooo!! He roughly pushed Lance away and ran screaming down the street at a speed even Quicksilver would admire-- well, probably not.
"I'll get you, my pretty. Lance Alvers is gonna rock your world."
A/N: Whether you like it or not, there WILL be another chapter. And another. And another until your head explodes into little teeny, nonviolent pieces. Mwahahahaaaaa!